On my train ride to Hogsmeade from London, I sat in the compartment with Stass, Theo, Alex, Blaise, and Draco. I sat by the window next to Alex with Stass sitting by the window right across from me. My legs were curled up next to me and my head was leaning against the wall of the Hogwarts Express. I had the book, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll in my hands, reading to help make the time go by faster. The boys were passing a ball of light around with the tips of their wands while Blaise and Stass looked at themselves through Stass's handheld mirror.
"I can't believe we'll be done in less than six months", Alex sighed. "I feel like we were all riding the Hogwarts Express for the first time last year"
"Aw, don't get all sentimental on us, Black", Stass teased. "We're all going to be together next year at Ilvermorny"
"If we all get in", I mumbled.
"Stell, everyone here knows you're going to get in"
"I applied to early admissions and plan on starting in the summer. If I don't get in, my father is going to be furious"
"You applied for the summer?", Draco asked, sucking the light ball into the tip of his wand.
"Yeah, I did"
"Oh... Okay...", he said slumping into his seat, frowning.
I don't know why Draco is upset that I will be starting a semester earlier than everyone else. It's not like we're going to be going on holiday together or hang out. I don't even plan on seeing him at all once we graduate unless I have to. Once our time at Hogwarts is over, I'm going to pack up my bedroom and move into the dorms of Ilvermorny.
In just six months, I will be going to uni and getting a higher education, one that doesn't involve teenage boys who cheat on me every chance they get. There's going to be hundreds of wizards from all over who will make the boys at Hogwarts look like trolls. I know Stass will have a ball trying to set me up with wizards in her classes.
This is a new year and I need to let go of everything negative in the past. I need to let go of my failed attempt to make things work with Louis and Draco's distasteful behavior towards me. With us being two years from a completely new decade and century, I just need to leave my love for Draco behind. He doesn't love me back, he clearly showed that when he called me a whore and made a childish plan with Pansy to ruin my relationship with Louis. Something else that I need to leave behind is loving people who don't love me back. I need to stop wearing my heart on my sleeve and just stick to myself. It's not worth all of the heartache to just circle around back to Draco.
Alex got up from his seat and left the compartment to use the bathroom. Theo scooted down the seat and took Alex's. He reached into the pocket of his coat and pulled out a bag of liquorice wands.
"Here", he said handing one to me. "You're frowning into your book. The Cheshire Cat is not going to be happy about that", he chuckled.
"Thanks..."
Theo always knows how to cheer me up.
"Did You-Know-Who ask you about you-know-what?"
"You slept with the Dark Lord", Theo teased.
I shut my book and hit Theo's arm with it. "Not funny", I pouted. "I'm being serious"
"No, Stell. Draco did not remember a thing"
"Shh", I shushed, covering his mouth with my hand. "This is a very small compartment. I don't want him suspecting anything"
"Your hand over my mouth is", he mumbled into my hand. Theo's wet warm tongue then grazed against the palm of my hand, making me gag and wipe my hand on his coat. "Ha! That's what you get", he laughed.
"Grow up", I scoffed.
"Don't be so prissy, Stell. You know you love me", he said throwing his arms around my shoulders.
"I do love you, I just don't love it when you act like a little boy"
Draco scoffed and got up from his seat, exiting the compartment. I tried to get up from my seat so I could follow him out but Theo put his hand and my shoulder, pushing me back down on the seat.
"Just leave him alone. I think hearing you say that you love me struck a nerve with him"
"I didn't mean it like that", I sighed.
"I know that and I think Draco knows that, but it still doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt when he hears it. For a long time, he wanted to hear you tell him that you love him. He's just dealing with his emotions in a really weird way"
"Why can't he just deal with his emotions like a normal person?", I groaned, throwing my head back.
"Because he's never felt this way before. Draco is used to having this barrier built up and you were the first person to break it down. You just need to give him time"
"I given him so much time, Theo. I've given him all the time in the world. It took me months to tell him that I love him. It's starting to feel like he only told you that he loves me just to get me to say it"
"That's not true. Draco loves you"
"How do you know that? It's not like he's done anything to show it"
"Draco has never felt this way before. I can tell that it kills him inside when you're with someone else. He misses you, he just needs to figure out how to say like a mature person"
Theo is making it so hard to get over Draco. He keeps on saying things that makes me feel bad and want to hold Draco in my arms. I always knew that Draco can sometimes be cold because he likes to keep his feelings guarded, but I didn't know that I was the only person to warm him up. Draco never told me personally how I make him feel, it's always Theo doing all of the talking.
I want to move on from Draco, I really do, but I can't stop feeling a little guilty that I used the word "love" with Theo. I shouldn't have said in front of Draco, but I say it to everyone. I say it to Stass all of the time. Maybe it's different because Theo and I dated in the past, and Stass and I didn't.
When Theo and I were dating, Draco had a hard time with it. He had feelings for his best friend's girlfriend for years. He had to sit back and watch me give Theo all of my love and attentions. By the time Draco had me, he had to wait even longer for me to tell him that I love him. He's been waiting for most of his life and I told him that I love him too late. Telling Draco after Christmas was a mistake and I should've just kept it to myself until Draco and I were in a good place. In the moment, I felt like I needed to tell him because I was afraid to loose him and I ended up loosing him anyways.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After I made sure all of the first years were in their dorm rooms, I sat down on the black leather couch by the fireplace and waited for Draco to finish with his first years. I twirled my black hair around my finger, anxious about what Draco is going to say to me once he comes up from the Boys' Dormitories.
Throughout the rest of the ride to Hogwarts, Draco hasn't said a word to me. Every time we would accidentally look at each other, he would just scoff at me and turn to look in another direction. He would even purposely throw that stupid ball of light in my eyes whenever Theo and I talk to each other.
Draco's bright blonde hair emerged from the shadows of the stairwell to the Boy's Dormitories. He approached me, stomping his feet on the could concrete floors of the Slytherin Common room.
"They're all in bed", he said plopping on the couch across from me. "Are you going to write to Snape that we finished our prefect shit, or should I?"
"Um... I can do it"
"Perfect. I'm going to bed"
"Are you mad at me or something? I have a feeling that you are"
"Now, why would I be mad at you, Stella Blackwood", he mocked. "You're perfect and can do no wrong"
"Stop being mean, Draco", I scoffed.
"You're the one who decided to get naked and jump on top of the table. You were practically mocking me at the party, all because I told you I didn't want anyone to see you like that"
"I told you that I love you and you just gave me a kiss on the top of my head. You left me, Draco, you left me. I've never felt so fucking stupid before in my life"
"You just said it out of nowhere! How was I supposed to respond?"
"Like a normal fucking person", I muttered under my breath.
"I heard that", he snarled.
"Hmm, maybe you were supposed to"
"It sounds like you're the one who's mad at me"
"Being mad at you means that I have to care, and I don't"
"Really?", he asked raising his eyebrow. "Because it sounds like you're mad"
"I'm not!", snapped.
"You're so fucking mad", he chuckled, licking his lips and crossing his arms.
"Shut up!", I shouted, picking up the throw pillow next to me and throwing at him. "I don't fucking care!"
"Uh oh, someone's getting angry", he teased. "Everyone watch out, it's the true Slytherin Heir"
I picked up the other throw pillow on the couch next to me and stormed over to Draco, hitting him in the head with the pillow. I struck his head ten times before he grabbed the pillow from my hand, throwing it over his head. Draco grabbed both of my wrists and pinned me onto the couch. I started to kick my legs, trying to loosen Draco's grip but he just kept on pinning my arms against the back of the couch.
"Let go of me, Malfoy. Let go of me, now", I demanded.
"No"
"You're so fucking annoying, I just want to choke you"
"I love it when you talk dirty to me", he smirked.
"Get off of me, you sick fuck"
I lifted my legs so that I could try to kick Draco, but he just grabbed me by ankles and pulled closer towards his body. Draco reached down to my neck, gripping the sides of it with his hand. He bent over and looked into my eyes. His bright blue eyes sparkled under the low lighting of the dungeons of Hogwarts.
I shouldn't be liking this right now... but I do.
"Since you stopped resisting, I'm going to fuck you now"
Wait. What? Whatever happened to "we need space from each other"?
Draco placed his soft plump lips on mine, still gripping on my neck. He got on top of me and slipped his hand under my skirt, sliding his hand into my panties. His soft cold fingers touched my clit, sending chills throughout my whole entire body. Draco slipped his fingers out from under my skirt, shoving them into my mouth before slipping them back in.
My body jerked as Draco's wet fingers rubbed against my clit, drawing small circles at a fast pace. I moaned into Draco's mouth, making him smile against my lips. The motion of his long cold fingers made me flood my panties with my cum. Draco inserted his fingers inside of me, immediately pulling out and then placing them in his mouth, sucking me off of his fingers.
I reached for Draco's trousers, trying to get ahold of his belt buckle but he swatted my hand away, insisting that he do it himself. Draco let go of his strong grip on my neck and pulled his trousers down. He grabbed both my thighs and spread my legs open, stroking his hard cock against my pulsing clit. Draco's hand covered my mouth as he slid himself into me, making me let out a soft moan into his hand. His slow gentle thrusts quickly became fast and aggressive.
The sound of our skin slapping against each other and the legs of the couch moving echoed throughout the dark and empty common room. If it weren't for curfew and the fact that we're fucking in the middle of the common room, I would be screaming his name right now.
Draco towered over me, keeping his hand on my mouth and grunted in my ear. I gripped his wrist with my hand as he pounded himself into me. My back arched and twisted with every thrust.
"Fuck", I moaned into Draco's hand as my body start to shake.
A feeling of pure euphoria took over my body as the pace of Draco's thrust started to slow down. Even going at a slow pace, Draco continued to roll his hips towards me, hitting every single spot. I gripped his wrist tightly, rolling my eyes back, finishing while he was still inside of me.
"Fucking shit", he moaned, throwing his head back.
Draco quickly pulled himself out of me, taking his hand off of my mouth and using the same one to cradle my head. He inserted his cock into my mouth, releasing his cum into the back of my throat. My lips wrapped around his cock, feeling him pulsing inside of my mouth, swelling every last bit of his cum. He pulled himself out and bent down to my eye level, bunching my hair in his hands.
"I own you, Blackwood. Don't let anyone touch you, ever again"