Chapter Four
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"Oh my God, Kiri! This one would look so good on you!" Mina squealed, dragging Kirishima to the suit jacket she had seen when walking through the mall. "It's perfect."
She was wrong. The colour, a burnt orange, was horrendous. The cuffs and colour were black and white. It looked like the kind of suit you would wear to a Halloween party as a joke. Not to mention the price was outrageous for something so ugly.
When Kirishima had presented Mina and Kaminari with the news of his engagement to Katsuki, Mina insisted on helping them plan it. Decorations, drinks, what food they would have the caterer eat, the kind of cake and how tall. Everything. She had begged Katsuki to let her help him pick his suit, but several threats later she backed down, and with fake puppy eyes, she asked Kirishima if she could assist him. He really didn't want to say yes. Over the years her fashion taste had gotten more and more... out there. However, after the pain that was Jiro's wedding, he couldn't say no.
"Mina," Kirishima began, setting down the bar attached to Riot's harness and grabbed the price tag, "when I said orange, red, and black, I meant like... an orange boutonnière or floral centerpieces. I cannot wear an orange jacket. I'll look a traffic cone"
"Are you guys going to match?" Kaminari asked from somewhere behind them, and Kirishima nodded. "So, how about this?" He directed Kirishima's attention to a suit displayed on a mannequin.
It was black, like he had wanted, with a stark white undershirt and a deep red tie. It was a relief to glance down and see the price wasn't terrible. It wasn't great, but it would be doable.
Kaminari hadn't offered to help, but he did ask if he could come along for the suit shopping once Mina and Kirishima had set the date. Grateful to have someone with a little more sense一Kaminari with sense? Unheard of一when it came to wedding attire, Kirishima glady said that was more than okay. He loved Mina, truly, she was perfect and helpful is more ways that he could imagine, but formal attire had never been her thing. She always went for the clothes that stood out the most, and while they looked good on her, he knew most people could never see themselves wearing such outfits. Hell, he was sure Mina would find a way to make the suit work if she were to wear it, but there's no way he could ever look in the mirror with a suit like that on and think he looks good. Especially not to his wedding, where he would be marrying his very, very judgemental husband to be and never live it down.
"That's perfect, dude," Kirishima said.
"Aww!" Mina pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. "I mean, I guess it's okay, but that other one fits the vibe."
"No, it doesn't you crazy woman." Kaminari shook his head. "Katsuki would kill you for having Kiri wear that, and he would kill Kiri for allowing himself to be seen in that. Besides, he would look like a burnt pumpkin."
Mina rolled her eyes, crossed her arms over her chest, reluctantly allowing it, as if she could force either of them to do what she wanted. "As long as I can pick the boutonnière. For both you and Katsuki."
Kirishima nodded and waved over an employee. "Can I try this on?"
The group was taken to the back of the store, right where the small changing stalls were, before the employee disappeared behind a door that opened up into an area only employees could enter. Minutes later they emerged from behind the mystery door, the full suit hanging from a hander clutched in their hand, and handed it to Kirishima with a blurry, and clearly fake, smile plastered on their face saying something like, "I'll be behind the counter if you need me."
"Can I come in with you?" Mina asked.
"No." Kirishima shook his head and handed the handle to Mina. "I'll be a minute."
He stepped into one of the three stalls and slid the lock into place before stripping from his hoodie and jeans. His hands fumbled with the buttons of the shirt and the cuff, and, very quietly, he googled how to tie a tie for he had never done it on his own before. With the volume as low as it could be without being completely off, he held the phone up to his ear and listened to the instructions. Spending more than most of his life without sight taught him how to hear someone's words, how to visualize their actions without actually witnessing them. He never thought the skills he was forced to learn as a way to negative life would prove to be useful now that a great deal of his sight had been restored.
Now dressed, he took in a deep breath and turned to view himself in the full length mirror stuck to the side of the stall. He stared at himself. At his fading red hair that desperately needed a recolour, the broadness in shoulders gained from relentlessly working out with Katsuki in the mornings before starting their days, the stubble on his chin screaming to be shaved, the suit hugging his arms and chest. The tie hanging crookedly from his neck. The cuffs of the jacket messily rolled and buttoned up. He was looking at himself, dressed in a suit he knew he was going to wear on his wedding day the moment Kaminari had him look at it.
It was like he could see a younger version on himself standing in the reflection somewhere. Kirishima could see the flat, dark hair, the many fresh wounds stripped along his arms, the sadness that stood out in the way he slumped his shoulders, wishing that things would just end because the time, he didn't know how to cope with the enormous loss resting on his shoulders. Nothing, no training, no councling, nothing could have ever prepared him for it. Going back in time and warning himself what it would be like wouldn't have changed a thing.
How do you cope with being blind? You don't. He didn't. Kirishima just pushed through, and he was so glad he did. It led him here:
Standing in a disheveled suit and dress shoes a size too small while his friends, both of whom were happily married, chatted on the other side of the door, and somewhere in the city, his fiancé was probably doing the same thing. And he was seeing himself. So many versions of himself in that one mirror within that one moment before he found the courage to unlock the door and show himself to his friends.
An audible gasp from Mina, and a high pitched whistle from Kaminari. Close to what Kirishima had expected.
"Kiri!" Mina shouted and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "You look so handsome."
"She's right, man." Kaminari and nodded in agreement. "You almost better than what I did in my suit."
Mina clicked her tongue. "Oh please. You looked like a lighting bolt."
"And you looked like strawberry ice cream! What's your point?"
"At least that isn't blinding!"
"Everyone was blinded by my beauty!"
"Bullshit, Kami."
Kirishima chuckled, shook his head at the absolute ridiculousness of his friends, and stowed away in the stall once again to strip from the suit, do his best to hand it back onto the plastic hanged, and get back into his normal clothes.
Before leaving, he glanced at himself, one last time with the suit draped over his forearm. Sometimes reality felt fake, like an elaborate dream that was endless. There were times when something truly felt far too good to be true, and he would pause for a moment, waiting for his brain to snap out of it and wake up. Then, Katsuki would come up from behind him and wrap his arms around his stomach, kiss the side of his head like how he always did, and just stand there with his head against his shoulder. It was rare, for Katsuki to be that affection, but having that contact felt like touching the tip of his tongue to the end of a battery and feeling the slight jolt of the electric current flash through his nervous system. Every time it told him that life was real, he wasn't dreaming.
He was getting married to Katsuki, he was with Katsuki, and it wasn't fake.
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Katsuki and Kirishima had decided on a cake some weeks after their engagement. A two tire cake with the top tire being elevated off the bottom tire. The top would be decorated in different variants of orange flowers while the bottom would be decorated in red flowers. Along the sides, strawberries would be lined up tightly. Though it was rather expensive, they agreed to have a costume made edible topper that wouldn't actually be a toper; Kirishima's minute vision of himself would be on Katsuki's tire, and he would be on Kirishima.
After searching high and low, they found someone within the city willing to take on the take on the complicated task. Initially, Kirishima felt bad when they walked into the bakery and handed the head baker the description and detailed plans Mina had forced Sero to draw while visiting Kirishima and Katsuki. While they stood and watched as the baker looked over the plans, flipping from the drawing to the description, he Kirishima leaned into Katsuki's ear and whispered, "Maybe we should ask for something simpler?"
Katsuki scoffed, loudly, and tugged on Kirishima's ear. "Shut up. Don't say shit like that." He sighed. "I only plan on getting married once, to you, and if we're going to do this bullshit, we have to go all out or not at all. There's no inbetween, Shitty Hair. If they didn't want to do this, they wouldn't." He never once took his eyes away from the baker.
"Are you sure?"
"For fuck sake一yes, Kirishima, I'm sure."
The baker asked if he could keep the plans, for reference, and said he could have the take done within a few weeks. "You can call me a few weeks before your wedding, and I can have it done for you by then. I won't be able to tell you the cost until it's complete, though."
And that was fine.
They agreed the center pieces for the tables would be orange and red roses in a black, stained glass vase. Sero, whom had gone to art school and specialized in making stained glass art, offered to make the vases for them if each one would be different than the other. Kirishima was thrilled at the idea of each centerpiece being slightly different than the rest, and paid him half of the cost on the spot.
At the end of a long day consisting of running around time looking for suitable venues and meetings with different restaurants willing to expend several of their chefs to cater the wedding, they collapsed on the worn out sofa in the living room of their somewhat new apart with their cats and watched whatever movie they could find. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring was playing on one of those channels that ran movies for free with commercials placed every thirty minutes.
"So...," Kirishima started when one of the commercials began to play, sitting up and positioning himself in such a way that would allow him to look directly at Katsuki without having to crane his neck around, "I spoke to my parents."
Katsuki stilled.
Kirishima was told his moms might not be able to make it upon breaking the news to them. Ayami wasn't doing well. Kaori said she had been diagnosed with stage four ovarian cancer, and felt terrible for telling him while he was sharing news that was supposed to be exciting. She's a fighter, and the new treatment they've got her started on is very promising. It's a wait and see, dear, but we'll do our best to make it. Make sure to record it just in case, she had said on the phone.
"And?" Katsuki finally asked.
"Ayami is doing fine, but... well, they don't think they're going to make it. It's not a good idea and some of Ayami's surgeries and meds weren't fully covered by their insurance so they're kinda tight on cash."
Katsuki nodded. "I see." A breath. "We can postpone the wedding."
"They told us not to."
"I'm sure they did, but I know how much you want them to be there. We can wait."
"Katsuki... they told us not to. They told me to tell you, specifically, not to because they knew you would try to make it wait. It would feel wrong to not listen to them."
He sighed, dropped his head into his hands, flicking his eyes to Kirishima whose head and fallen heavy. His tears, though silent, couldn't be hidden. Slowly, he wrapped an arm around Kirishima's shoulders and reeled him in close. "Things may change, the wedding is still a ways out. So find your chin and pick it up, Kiri."
Kirishima sniffled, wiped at his face, nodding. "I know... but, it's just... it not only that. I'm worried about Ayami..."
"We can make time to go see her. Close the studio for the weekend and spend some time with her," Katsuki suggested, giving a Kirishima reassuring squeeze."
"Can we afford that?"
"We can drive instead... maybe those idiot friends of yours can come, too."
Kirishima smiled through his tears. "They're your friends, too."
"Yeah yeah. Sure."
Katsuki wasn't sure if his father would be able to attend, either. His job was time demanding, something he had experienced first hand, and didn't offer many opportunities to take time off. The date wasn't set and they only had a general time frame because Katsuki had been purposely putting it off,, trying to by his father time until he could find out what his schedule would look like then. The plan in Katsuki's head was to set the date during one of the weeks in which his father would be off.
He hadn't told anyone yet, not even Kirishima, but he wanted his dad to be his best man. He didn't really have anyone else besides Kaminari, but he was obviously going to be Kirishima's best man, and while Sero was an option, the idea felt strange to him. Katsuki wasn't close to Sero like that, he never really had the chance to be. So his father was his only option, and the one he preferred.
But Katsuki didn't want to tell Kirishima that.
"Katsuki..." Kirishima said from his spot underneath Katsuki's arm, half asleep from all the crying he had just done and the busy day he was trying to relax from. "I know your mom will be watching. And she'll be smiling because she'll be so proud of you."
He stifled a sound. Like a gasp and a cry mingling, trying to get out.
One night, when they were putting together their guest list, Kirishima asked if there was anyone else Katsuki wanted to put on the list, after some time of thinking Katsuki asked if they could write down his mom's name. For no reason at all, just because.
And they did.
And he hasn't been able to stop thinking about it since. Katsuki would have done anything to have his mom be there for him, and with him, on his wedding day. To have here there planning with them, picking out venues and flowers and seating. He knew she would have hand sewn both of their suits, perfectly tailored to their bodies in a way that would be criminal, and she would "accidentally" poke Katsuki with the pins when fitting the fabric to his frame.
He'd imagine what she would wear, how she would look in her old age. She would have aged gracefully, taking pride in her grey hairs and wrinkles. She would have worn a dress that would stand out the most, and she also would have made it herself with no help.
Everyday that goes by they plan more and more, and everyday he wishes she was there with him, squeezing his shoulders and scolding him for making stupid decisions about miniscule things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.
Katsuki missed her, and it took some coaxing from Kirishima for him to finally admit out loud, but when he did it was one of the only times Kirishima had ever witnessed him cry. I miss her so damn much, Kirishima. And for the longest time... I hated her and I regret that so fucking much.
I'm sure she would understand, Katsuki.
I don't know if she would.
All Kirishima had done was smile and kiss him to shut him up. It worked. He felt better.
I know your mom will be watching. And she'll be smiling because she'll be so proud of you.
With Kirishima now fast asleep against the side of his body, Katsuki nodded and said to no one in particular, "I know."
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Word Count: 2869
March 24, 2021
woah a new chapter so soon? im not working much right now (personal bullshit reasons) so i've got time to write lol.
i literally woke this chapter in like... 2 hours maybe idk while listening to the AoT sohndtrack; most noticeably the 2nd opening for season 3 and i was trying to keep my typing pace up with the pace of the song like a nerd LOL
but yeah, here you go<3
-StarsNeverLanding