Sammy woke up with a jolt, his body was shivering, waking him completely up and making him aware. His hand tightened its grip upon the arm that was planted firmly across him. A second later Dean returned to pressure. Dean had slid into the hospital bed with Sammy and laid nexts to him. Dean had his arm rapped behind Sam's head and it laid somewhat upon his chest. Sam's head was laying against his big brother's chest. Sam was still very cold, he felt like he was in a freezer but he could feel the warmth of his brother nexts to him, Dean was always warm. Sam kept his head against Dean's neck and collarbone. He closed his eyes and he felt safe and the sense of memory from where he and Dean was younger. He could remember when he was real little and there was a very bad storm outside and he was terrified by it and Dean climbed into his bed with him and held him and protected him, just as he was doing now. Given that Sammy was 14 and Dean was 18 years old now and they both didn't have much space in the bed between each other, they both were happy and enjoyed being close to one another and giving each other the feel of togetherness and certainty.
Sam- "Dean?"
Dean- "Mm what?"
Dean eyes were still shut and he was still half asleep when he heard and answered Sammy. He began to focus when he felt his arm being pulled off of his little brother. Dean opened his eyes to see Sam moving around in the bed and laying his head back on a pillow. Dean's arm was sore where Sam had slept on it but he didn't care. Sam looked over at Dean. Dean saw something in Sam's eyes.
Dean- "What Sam?"
Sam shocked his head and closed his eyes. He reached up and ran his hands through his hair. Dean seeing this sat up straight and reached over and gripped Sam's shoulder tightly. Sam opened his eyes and shocked his head. His eyes were watery and he looked up at his big brother.
Dean- "Sam-? Sam?"
Images started to flash before Sam's eyes. He saw bits and piece of his nightmare he had. He didn't know what day it was or how long he had been in the hospital but he could remember being back at the motel and having a nightmare but everything else was just a blank. Sam's eyes were moving very quickly and he had totally blocked Dean's voice out. He finally blinked and looked up at his brother who was shaking his shoulder quickly. He could see the panic in his big brother's eyes and knew that even if he wasn't alright that he needed to make Dean believe he was for his big brother's sake.
Dean- "Sam? You okay? Something hurtin'?"
Sam- "I'm good."
Dean- "You sure? Sam-"
Sam- "Dean, I'm fine I swear. I just tired man and weak but...I'm good."
Dean- "Okay Sammy. "
Dean patted Sam's shoulder and looked over at Bobby asleep in the chair. Dean smiled and pushed himself off of the bed and walked over to his cell phone that was on a small stand. He checked his phone and lowered his head. He raised his head back up and faced Sammy when he heard Sam's voice.
Sam- "Dean-? Dean? Where's dad?"
Before Dean could answer Bobby began to wake up. His eyes went from Dean and then onto Sam. He smiled and got up and walked right nexts to Sam. He reached down and griped his arm and gave him a smile.
Bobby- "How ya doin' boy?"
Sam- "I'm good Bobby. What you doin' here?"
Bobby- "Well Dean called and said you were sick, real sick so I came down. You sure your good?"
Sam- "Yeah, but..."
Sam stopped talking for a moment. A sharp pain flowed throw the back of his head but he couldn't reach up and cry out in pain cause he wasn't trying to worry these two. He just lowered his head for a second and squinted his eyes tightly. His chest was hurting now and he felt a little out of breath as if he had been on a run. Dean placed the phone down and walked back over towards Sam.
Dean- "But, what Sam? Sammy-?"
Sam raised his head back up and rubbed his eyes. He winced and leaned back against the back of the bed. His eyes traveled from Bobby to Dean. He inhaled and cleared his throat before he spoke again.
Sam- "What the hell is going on?! Why am I here and where is dad?"
Bobby turned to face Dean and gave him a small nod. Dean nodded back and Bobby patted the end of the bed and walked slowly out of the room, allowing Dean to explain everything to him. They sat their in silence as they watched the door closed slowly behind him. Sam quickly turned his head to face his big brother. Sam felt like this was all really serious, he knew it was something be for him to be in the hospital. Most injures they would just take care on their own but this had to be bad. Sammy watched Dean exhale and walk closed and sat down on the bed right nexts to Sam. Dean looked up at Sam and Sam felt some panic from within him.
Sam- "Dean...what is it??"
Dean- "Humm...What's the last thing you remember?"
Sam- "Come on Dean. Tell me what's really up...with you and clearly somethin' up with dad. So whatever it is, tell me...please Dean."
Dean- "Back at the motel, you began havin' a seizure and then..."
Sam- "Then what Dean?"
Dean- "You...umm stop breathin' and I tried but I couldn't...I had to call 911 and your heart. It umm...it stopped beating for a moment and I was sure that you were...."
Sam- "Dean, I'm fine. Okay?"
Dean- "Sammy...I almost lost you back there! And in here, I couldn't do anything to help you."
Sam- "Dean, It's fine, everything is going to be okay. I feel better and we'll be out of here in no time. So please, don't put this unncessary weight on your shoulders Dean."
Dean- "I can't."
Sam- "And why not?"
Dean- "Cause what would have happened if you died Sam!?! Huh? I'm supposed to watch out for ya, and keep you save and right then I was useless and you could have..."
Sam- "Dean-"
Dean- "I wouldn't be able to go on without you Sam and dad he would have..."
Sam- "Where is he?"
Dean- "What?"
Sam- "Dad where is he?"
Dean got up off the bed and began to pace a little around the room. He rubbed his hand over his face and lifted his head up and looked at the ceiling.
Sam- "Dean, what's goin' on?"
Dean- "Nothin'. Just..."
Sam- "Dean!"
Dean turned and walked slowly back over by Sam and shoved his hands into his jacket pocket and stood there before his little brother.
Dean- "Alright Fine!"
"Dad he's.."
Sam- "He's what Dean?"
Dean suddently saw that he was scaring Sam, making him think the worst thing possible. Dean took his hands out of his pocket and sat down on the edge of the bed. Sam pulled his leg up for Dean to have a spot to sit down.
Sam- "He's not-?"
Dean- No, Sam he not dead. He on a job right now."
Sam- "Wait. He's working a case? Does he know what happened, what could have happened?? Dean?!"
Dean- "Yeah Sam, I called him. Bobby called him. He is just really bust right now and has to finish..."
Sam- "That's bull shit Dean! And you know it! Here should have been here Dean!"
Dean- "I know. But Sam..."
Sam- "You know?! And your just gonna sit there and defend him to me?! Really Dean?"
Dean- "Sam, wait. "
Sam- "No!"
Sam ran his hands through his hair and he leaned back and shocked his head. He was pissed at their father once again. It was always the same with their dad. He cared more about some hunt than he did about Sam. Sam's hands started to shake but he was soo upset and mad at his dad that he didn't notice them, but Dean did.
Dean- "Sam-"
Sam- "Dee-"
Sam was struggling to calm down and breathe. He whispered Dean's name breathlessly, inhaling sharply and wheezing on the in take of it. Dean went straight for Sammy.
Dean- "Okay. Relax."
Sammy's hands continued to shake and Dean knew that Sam was soo upset with their father that he was over stressing himself and giving himself a panic attack.
Dean- "Sam, Sammy! Relax. Breathe dude."
After awhile Sam calmed down and asked Dean if he could just be alone for awahile. Dean said he and Bobby would get some food and they would return and talk some more later. So, after Dean and Bobby left the hospital, Sam laid down and tried to get some shut eye before his brother and Bobby came back. But Sammy didn't get much before the door to his roomed slowly opened and standing there was his dad. He laid there for a few seconds just staring at his dad before he sat up in bed. John closed the door behind him and locked it. Sam moved back in the bed, pressing his back against the wall. John slowly walked farther into the room and took a seat in the chair across from Sammy.
Sam- "Dad,"
John- "Where's your brother?"
Sam looked at him confussed. His first words to Sammy was where was Dean, not how are you doing or anything on the line about Sam. Sam looked down at the bed and shocked his head.
John- "I asked you a question! Where is Dean!?"
Sam looked up at his father, their eyes meet for sometime before John looked away.
Sam- 'Out with Bobby. Gettin' some food."
John stood up on his feet when Bobby's name came out of Sam's mouth. John walked around the small room muttering to himself but Sam heard some of it and questioned his father.
John- "I told that drunk not to come, he should've listen.''
Sam- "What? You can't be blaming Bobby for coming here and watching us when you didn't Dad!"
John turned to face his son and walked over to the bed. Sam could tell that he just made his father even more mad.
John- "I was working a job Sam!"
Sam- "Yeah! And I'm in the hospital Dad!''
John- "Your fine."
Sam- "Yeah now. You should have seen Dean, he was freaked, super worried about me. And he needed..."
John- "Well he should of handled it better than panicing and callin' Bobby for help. He knows..."
Sam- "NO! You don't get blame Dean for this! This is your mistake Dad, it is all on you! Bobby was here! Where were you?!"
John- "Watch your tone!"
Sam- "Bobby was here for both of us and you weren't! You can't just come in here and blame everyone else for doing the right thing. Bobby cares more about us than you do! All you care about is this damn job, this stupid life that you created for all of us!!"
Dean and Bobby were walking down the hall when they stopped and heard Sam yelling. Dean rushed to the door and tried to open it but it was lock.
Dean- "It's locked! Sam?!"
John stood in front of Sammy and stared at him. They both were upset with one another. John smiled and shocked his head at Sammy.
John- "This life! It's our life Sam! I am doing this, all of this for you adn this family!"
Sam- "How is any of this for us?! We are still hunting the thing that killed mom and we still haven't found it! Not giving a damn about me or Dean that ain't for us Dad. You have never cared about us, ever!"
John- " Don't tell me how I feel!"
Sam- "Admit it! You wish I wasn't here! Are you going to blame me for that too or maybe Dean?!
John- "I don't have time for this!"
Sam- "No, of course not. 'Cause you have to go out and help everyone else. I was dying in here and you couldn'r give a damn about me or how I was!"
John- "Enough Sam! You know this job comes before me and everyone else!"
Sam- "No, your full of it."
John- "What would you have me do Sam, if I stayed back with you and Dean? What do you want!?!"
Sam- "Help me damnit, help me! Care about me, your son instead of this mission of yours!"
Dean banged upon the door again.
Dean- "Open the door Sam! Sam!"
Dean began to bang on the door trying to force it open. He wasn't getting it open as fast as he would have liked. He could heard his father going off on Sam and Dean closed his eyes cause of the words and hate and pain that he was throwing at Sammy.
Dean- "Damnit!"
Dean finally got the door open just in time for him to see his dad punch Sammy in the face. John's fist came down on Sam's jaw with great force. Sam's head turned and blood came from his mouth. Dean stood there for a second shocked but then raced over to Sam's side.
Dean- "Shit."
Dean grabed Sam's shoulders and brought him sitting straight up on the bed. Dean quickly turned to face his father.
Bobby- "John!"
Dean- "Dad?!"
John quickly turned around and began to head out of the room.
John- "I'll be at the motel for a bit, come or stay with Bobby, Dean? It's your choice."
He then pushed past Bobby and left.
Dean's attention turned right back on Sammy. Dean cupped his face and touched Sam's check. Sam leaned back and closed his eyes. Dean inhaled and gave Sam a rag to whip the blood off his mouth.
Dean- "What the hell Sam?"
Sam- "I'm sorry Dean."
Dean- "No, it's okay Sammy. Don't be sorry."
Dean shoved Sam's side, giving him a signal to move over. Sam did as Dean instructed. Dean sat in bed beside his little brother. Dean pushed his arm under Sam's back, Sammy moved, trying to make it easier for his big brother. Sammy, Dean noticed was breathing quickly. Dean's grip on Sammy tighten and he laid his head upon Sam's head and he closed his eyes. He couldn't believe what he had just walked in on and that then his dad would give him a choice that really wasn't a choice at all-to go with him or stay at Bobby's. Once the words came out of his mouth Dean didn't need to take a single moment to think about it. Sammy was still in the hospital, he wasn't going anywhere without Sam, ever.
"It's gonna be alright. Okay? I got ya, I've got ya and I won't et anything happen to you Sammy. Your fine." Dean thought in his head as he held Sam in his arms. "It's okay, I'm here and I'm never gonna leave you. I promise."