When you live in your own little bubble with no other people around you, it becomes oddly easy to forget nearly any holiday, even your birthday. You know it's coming or within the month, but in the end it all blends together. Christmas becomes one of those things that is a blessing or a curse, and with everything that's happened so far, I almost wish I could have one of those moments. However, it becomes harder at Hogwarts. The giant Christmas tree in the Great Hall, the constant smell of peppermint and cinnamon scented pinecones filling the air, the odd couple that is staying at Hogwarts so they can spend it together, the decorations filling each crevice. It fills even the Slytherin common room with a Christmas-y air.
It's quite depressing, really.
Taking a heavy sigh, I place the book I had been reading back on the shelf where I had taken it from, quickly looking for another one.
Not that I haven't gone through nearly every one...
Scouring the shelves, I find my way on the last isle of books.
Are there really only two shelves left?
Minerva went home, Abraxas went home, and besides Tom there aren't really any other friends that I have. I get along with plenty of people, I've helped tutor a few, hung out with some other girls, and even had a conversation with one of my teachers about ideas for a project one of her first-year classes could do.
This one, this one, this one? No, no... Hmm... Aah! This one!
Finding my seat once more, I sit down, the three few books I grabbed thumping lightly on the table. This being my ritual for the past week, I've become so used to it I barely notice my surroundings anymore. Fiction, non-fiction, biographies, technical, poetry, and so many more. Hogwarts may seem like it has a lot to do, but in reality the only things you could call events are Quidditch, and the Yule ball, and the Tri-wizard tournament. Everything else comes from your classes - which none of which are in motion right now.
A few hours pass before I place my last book down, getting up, put them all back, and scour the shelves for more. It doesn't take long before someone taps on my shoulder.
"Will you be finishing these tonight or bringing them back with you?"
A crisp voice cracks through the silence.
"Pardon?"
I ask exasperatedly after jumping pretty badly, not ready for the voices shock.
"The books?"
Having snapped my head up towards the voice by now, I furrow my brows.
"Uh, I guess I'm finishing them - although I should probably try to stretch them out." Pondering for a moment to myself, I glance away from his brown eyes before looking back, confused. "Hey, when did you get here, anyway?"
"Seriously?"
"Yes?"
"I've been here since noon. Have you gone blind or something?"
Blinking rapidly for a moment in surprise, I take a moment to process his words.
"Noon? Really? What time is it then?"
"Nearly midnight." Scoffing lightly, a small smirk played on his lips. "You really are daft, aren't you?"
Giving a lighthearted chuckle, purely out of awkwardness, I refute his statement.
"I am not," I begin, stumbling over my words slightly, "I've simply been lost in my thoughts and books, I guess."
"Maybe it's time you find your way back to reality and decide on staying up later or taking the books out."
Glancing up at the tall clock against the far wall, I sigh heavily.
"I'll just put them back, it's not like anybody else is going to take them out, anyway."
Giving Tom a crooked smile, I scratch the back of my neck before standing up and placing the unfinished books back on the shelf.
Bored out of my mind with nothing to do but read the same books repeatedly or study something that I don't know if we'll even cover, I sigh obnoxiously loud, groaning.
"There's nothing to do!"
"Isn't there?"
An older, familiar voice speaks up, causing me to jump slightly, raising my head off of Tom's shoulder. Glancing around quickly, I look for the voice, Tom rolling and stretching his shoulder.
Who?
Confused for another moment before finally opting to look upwards from my sitting position of the library floor, I note Professor Dumbledore staring down at us.
"Professor!"
I shout unintentionally loud, jumping up.
Chuckling softly, Professor Dumbledore shakes his head.
"Read enough books that other places are more interesting now?"
"Kind of? I've read pretty much every book here over the past week and a half is all. Practiced spells, studied school work, I can't think of anything else I can do here."
"I'm sure if you ask your Potions professor, you might be able to use the potions class or another room, of course, depending on the place it would be under supervision."
A tension rises into the air with every passing second - agonizing and hollow.
He's directing his words at me, but I'm not the reason he's here.
Turning slightly to glance behind me, I feel the intense stare Tom holds for Professor Dumbledore, calm, but almost feeling as though malice slips through the tiniest of cracks.
He hasn't even done anything yet, not really: is Professor Dumbledore onto him already?
Cautiously, I smile flatly and nod my head.
"Well alright then, that sounds cool! Anything's better than sitting here doing nothing!"
Grabbing Tom's hand, I quickly pull him up and rush out of the library, leaving Professor Dumbledore behind us.
"Geez, you looked like you were going to kill him with that glare!" I half joke, still pulling Tom along with me. "What was that all about? Cause it certainly wasn't about how bored I was."
"What glare?"
He asks me innocently, pulling his hand out from mine.
"Really? Either you know exactly what I'm talking about or you have no idea about the literal death in your eyes. Dude, emotion is something you have right?"
Just as the words leave my mouth, I cringe a bit, remembering his whole "born under a love potion" thing. Tom gives me a lopsided questioning look, of which I can't tell, of which is questioning my stupidity or my ignorance.
"Where exactly do you plan on dragging me off to?"
Blatantly changing the topic, Tom takes a quick glance around.
"To find Professor Slughorn or something. I don't know. Literally anybody but Professor Dumbledore right now."
Upon saying that a professor I don't know rounds the corner.
"You're looking for Slughorn?" the man pipes up, clearly having been paying at least a little attention to our conversation. "Something wrong?"
"No," a little hesitate, I pause for a moment. "Just curious. Professor Dumbledore told us we might practice some potions or something with a professor present since we've run out of other ideas."
"Why don't you go play in the snow or head down to Hogsmeade?"
"No good, I asked about Hogsmeade and other Professors already shot that down. We aren't allowed to leave Hogwarts right now. I don't mean to sound rude or anything, but shouldn't you know that? As a professor, I mean."
"You're right, I should - that is, if I was a professor at Hogwarts."
"You're not a professor?"
"No, just a simple visitor who is coming from a meeting with your Headmaster."
"Oh."
I feel stupid, ugh.
"I'm pretty sure I just saw him, I'm sure he isn't far."
"Well, thanks, uh?"
Before I can ask for his name, the man is gone and I'm left confused.
"Do you know who that was?"
I ask Tom, hoping he might have an answer, but all he does is raise an eyebrow and shrug lightly.
Big help.
Sighing lightly, I quickly rush off towards the direction the non-professor came from and, sure enough, finding Professor Slughorn near the Potions classroom.
"Um, excuse me, Professor?"
I call out, Professor Slughorn turning around curiously.
"Professor Dumbledore said that we might get access to the potions room to practice some potions or something? We've studied and read nearly every book in the library, and we can't leave Hogwarts so-"
My words slightly flurried.
"Have you really?" He pipes up, interrupting me. "What kind of potions are you looking at?"
Not having thought that far ahead my brain buffers, Tom speaking up for me.
"We were actually hoping you might know some we might focus on later?"
Professor Slughorn takes a moment to think, placing his thumb and the knuckle of his index finger to his chin, stroking it for a moment.
"Well, maybe..." He ponders for a moment more before nodding his head. "They aren't too complicated, but I believe I have a book of potions in the classroom that you could look over." Professor Slughorn continues talking as we walk away, the two of us pursuing suit. "I'll just have to see which potions we have ingredients for."
"If we find one we like we don't have the ingredients for, can't we simply use the acio charm?"
"Well, I suppose, but you have to be careful with those things sometimes, you never know where they come from."
Nodding lightly we continue our way up the stairs and into the potions classroom, Professor Slughorn marching over to a bookshelf. Professor Slughorn quickly scans the shelf before plucking one off, muttering a soft "Ah! There you are!" and handing me the book.
"Well, here we are. You just have a look through that, I'll be over there."
Professor Slughorn points towards his desk and waddles over purposefully. Opening the book, I hold it out so Tom and I can see them.
It doesn't take long for us to pick out a few. It takes a moment, but we gather our ingredients and make our attempts. Tom, of course, gets all his first try, but I fumble a couple of times.
PUFF!
Green smoke flashes upwards, coating my face in a thick powder.
"Ack!"
Nearly coughing up a lung, I fan my hand in front of my face, clearing the smoke awake.
"Nice one, (Y/N)."
Tom chimes in, his laugh filling my ears.
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
Waving my wand, I give myself and the area a quick clean-up before trying again, arriving at the proper place in the end.
"Alright then, final one, you two."
Professor Slughorn pipes up suddenly.
"Okay."
Skimming through the pages, my eyes land on one in particular.
Amortentia I remember learning this in fifth year with my friend Penny.
Penny's red hair bounces slightly with her excited bouncing in place.
"I did it! I actually did it!"
I smile happily at Penny, giggling at her enthusiasm.
"If only I could too."
Laughing together for a moment, we both die down slowly.
"Hey, you should smell it!"
"What, me? Trust me, I won't smell anything."
"Oh, come on! Not even that Albus?~"
Slapping Penny on the shoulder, I jump up, standing straight, a faint blush on my face.
"What?! No way! He's my friend, Penny! You know this!"
"Then what are you afraid of? Give it a smell! Come on!"
Sighing lightly, I take a deep breath before stepping closer and bending down slightly, wafting the scent upwards with my hand. It takes a moment for me to register. However, there was a smell.
"So?!"
Penny shouts, excitedly.
"I- it's strange." I attempt to think of anybody I knew who might match the scent. "It sort of has a darker, maybe smokey scent? But not heavily, it's very light, enticing in a way."
"ENTICING?! Oooo, (Y/N)! Who is it?!"
"Like hell if I know!" I chime up, laughing. "I don't know anybody like that." Seriously wanting to change the subject, I shake my head lightly. "What do you smell, anyway?"
"Are you just going to stare at the book or are you going to pick a potion?"
Tom's voice shakes me from my memories.
"Huh? Oh, sorry," Chuckling lightly I glance up at him, hesitant to mention the Amortentia. "I just remembered the first time I made some of these potions."
"Do you want to do one of those then?"
"We could, you can pick a different one if you want, I'm just curious if I'll smell the same thing."
I laugh lightly, tilting my head slightly.
"Smell? The Amortentia potion then?"
"Yeah, when I made it in my fifth year the scent I got from it was so confusing. When I mentioned the scent to my friend, she didn't know anybody who would fit the description either. Nobody fit it." Chuckling slightly, I put my right hand on my hip, swaying slightly to the left. "Guess I just have some strange standards! I want to know if it's any different."
"Think you'll smell Abraxas?"
Tom half teases, a strange undertone to his voice.
"Oh, definitely not!" Surprised at my sudden outburst, I dial down a bit, slightly embarrassed. "That sounded rude- I just meant that I don't see Abraxas that way. He's handsome and nice, sure, but he's that guy I think someone else will be lucky to have."
"That lucky person just isn't you?"
"Precisely," I state, trying my best to blend my words in a matter-of-fact way.
Gathering up the ashwinder eggs, rose thorns, peppermint, and powdered moonstone, I get started on the potion. As I twiddle away on my Amortentia, Tom grabs powdered root of asphodel and some wormwood.
"Whatcha making there?"
I ask, curious.
"Just an experiment, now that I'm not hovered over."
Experiment?
Deciding to take note, but to ignore it for now, I nod it off and focus on my potion.
A few moments pass before the beautiful pink colour forms inside my cauldron.
"Perfect!"
"Finished are you?"
Tom chimes up.
"Yep!"
"Well?" He quizzes lightly, not removing his eyes from his own brew. "Is it the same?"
Pausing for a moment, nervous for some unknown reason, I lean in, wafting the scent upwards with my hand. Taking a second I take in the scent, attempting to analyze and differences.
"How? Who smells anything like that? I don't get it."
Seemingly happy with his potion, he finally raises his head and fully places himself in the conversation.
"What exactly is this mysterious scent you can't place, anyway?"
"I don't know how else to describe it but dark and smokey."
"Dark and smokey?"
Tom repeats back to me.
"Yes, but it's a very light scent, not too heavy or strong. It's light, so it brings you in more than chasing you out. It's odd and confusing. Nobody smells like that. How can someone smell dark? Smokey I kinda get, but dark?"
Shaking my head gently, Tom contemplates my words for a moment.
"Strange."
Tom takes a moment to ponder my words before glancing back towards Professor Slughorn, who had somehow dozed off pretty quickly. Shaking it off Tom silently glided over to the glass bottles and poured some of his potion inside of one before plugging in the cork and slipping it into his cloak.
"We're finished, Professor!"
Tom nearly shouts, Professor Slughorn waking with a start.
"Oh! Yes, of course. Just leave your potions where they are, it's late so you two should get back to your common rooms."
"Thank you, Professor!"
I chime in, raising my hand in a still wave before walking out of the classroom with Tom, scouring the halls, walking down the flights of ever changing stairs and into the dungeon, finding our way back into the Slytherin common room.
"Tom?" I question upon us entering the room. "What exactly was that last potion you took?"
"A simple sleeping aid is all."
I muster up, then say nothing else.
"Oh, alright then." Only half believing him I indefinitely take note, just in case I sense something fishy later on or something happens. "Could you smell anything in the Amortentia?"
Curious, before we part ways he stops for a moment, and without even taking a second to look at me gives a monotone "Of course not." and continues up his stairs to the boys' area.
Unsurprising, I guess.
Over the remainder of the Winter Holiday break, it feels as though Tom avoids me at every turn.
Is it because I made the Amortentia? Did that hit a nerve? God, I knew I shouldn't have.
Sighing heavily, I lean against a pillar on the platform, awaiting the train with Abraxas to arrive.
Did I fudge it again? My thoughts fill with how stupid I might be. No, no, last time I messed up he called me by my last name, he's still using my first name right now.
My thoughts suddenly get interrupted by the loud buzzing of the train pulling into the station. Shaking my head lightly, I step closer to the train, waiting the few more minutes there before Abraxas finally comes into view, stepping off the train and rushing over to me.
"(Y/N)! How was Christmas Holidays?"
Abraxas sets down his luggage and hugs me tightly.
"Pretty boring, actually. I've officially read nearly every book in the main library, practiced a few spells, reviewed homework, made a snowman, and brewed a few potions - Oh, and of course the Christmas dinner they have."
"Must have been delicious!"
"Yeah, I guess."
"You guess?"
Abraxas quizzes confusedly.
"Yeah, I think I upset Tom again." I huff, "He's been ignoring me the past few days."
"Seriously? I doubt its something you've done, (Y/N), he's just being silly again."
Nodding my head, I smile, changing the subject to a more pleasant one.
"It should hopefully clear up soon, but either way, that doesn't matter right now." I begin wrapping one arm around his shoulders and picking up one of his bags. "How was your Christmas?"
With Abraxas back at Hogwarts, Tom seems to hover closer, not entirely ignoring me - like he's monitoring a child.
Probably wondering if I'll tell him about that stupid "simple sleeping potion" he kept.
"Are you going to continue hovering like a vulture over there, or are you going to sit down like a civil person?"
Abraxas finally snaps, clearly just as annoyed as I am about it. Ignoring him, Tom simply flips the page in his books and continues reading.
"Hello? Earth to snake boy!"
Continuing to ignore him, Abraxas turns to me, annoyed at Tom's pettiness.
"Tom?"
I call out, answering Abraxas' silent "he's not listening, please do something".
"Oh, were you talking to me?"
He finally answers mockingly, snapping his book closed in one hand.
"Yes, we were wondering if you were going to sit down?"
Standing frozen for a moment, I assume Tom is contemplating something.
"Come with me."
He states bluntly, grabbing my wrist and pulling me away.
"Hey!"
Abraxas shouts, practically all too late as I'm whisked out the doors.