It's later than I thought, nearing ten, but Dan and I are both "night owls," so it doesn't matter as much as it might for two normal people. It sounds horrifically cliche, but Dan and I aren't exactly normal people. Unless you count staying up until 6 AM on a daily basis normal.
The Phan flat isn't far, so it only takes a few minutes on the train. I'm an odd mix of nervous and excited. The nervousness is from the whole "going to Dan Howell's house" thing, and the excitement is honestly the same. The fangirl part of me is feeling so many emotions the rest of me doesn't know what to do.
It's raining even harder by the time I get off and put into the street, I can't run to their flat as I'm still not sure as to where it is. Now, I'm forced to huddle under a bus stop while I rapidly type the address into my phone. Luckily for me, it's only a few houses down, and still light enough outside to see the house number.
I texted Dan as I got off the train to tell him I was close. That was probably a good move, as he now waits for me with the front door open just a crack.
Dan wraps me up in a hug (he's a great hugger, by the way, everyone should strive to get a Dan hug at some point in their lives), and leads me upstairs to where I can take off my nearly-soaking coat. I was brilliant enough to forget an umbrella.
"I've missed, Mia!!" says Dan, giving me one last hug before taking me up one more flight of stairs to the lounge. I don't understand how someone like Dan could live in a flat with this many stairs. Just the thought of having to climb these every day makes me want to be sick.
"I missed you too!" I say, immediately perking up at the smell of pizza, "Is that for us?" Dan grins.
"I assumed you might like something to eat," he says.
"You understand me so well," I gush melodramatically, putting my hands over my heart.
We get to the lounge, where a pretty big box of pizza sits almost untouched on the coffee table, surrounded my dirty mugs and paper plates.
"You ate a piece!" I accuse, noticing a small section gone. He scoffs and sits down.
"Hey. You can't just leave me alone with pizza and expect it to be there very long. And I left the rest, so don't act like it's all that bad." I grab my own slice and sit down next to him, not caring about how our legs are barely touching at the thigh. It's not a fanfiction for fuck's sake. Friends accidentally touch legs all the time. It is a little awkward sometimes, but it's not like touching someone's leg with your leg makes you a couple or whatever. Legs aren't exactly a romantic gesture, if you know what I mean.
At some point I notice that Dan has MarioKart, and I can practically feel my eyes light up. "You were the one who brought MarioKart to Vidcon?" I ask, grinning.
The pizza is nearly gone now, and without the excuse of eating for the awkward silence I wasn't sure what we were going to do. Dan smiles.
"Yeah. You wanna play? Maybe I can beat you again!" he jokes. I narrow my eyes and grab a controller, now set on beating this bastardized so hard he won't know what hit him,
"Or maybe I can beat you, you cocky bastard!" We both laugh for a moment but turn deathly serious when the lighthearted intro music begins. We're serious when it comes to our Nintendo games. Normally I might film this moment, maybe a camera leaning on an armchair to capture the race, but something about this feels more private than that. LIke filming this would be weird, like filming a date. 'Is this a date?' I ask myself, but decide it's not. Friends can hang out all the time. Just because a girl and guy are friends doesn't make them dating. Right?
We decide on a quick team round as a warm up, then a solo sort of thing. I don't know the technical terms, as I don't obsess that much over the game, but I know that since we're both on the red team first neither of us will have bragging rights over the other, at least until the next round is over.
Our team wins, which isn't hard considering that the other is just a bunch of randomized NPCs. Per usual I chose Toad, but Dan "ironically" chooses Peach. Him and his irony, although I won't act like I don't use her too. Before we decide on the course for the next round, Dan makes an offer.
"I have some drinks in the fridge, I could go get some?"
Just then, the impulsive bit of my brain wakes up, gives a yawn, and yells "Fuck it!" to the making choices bit of my brain.
"Sure. Anything's good." I don't immediately regret my decision, but something in my gut tells me that soon I will, but maybe I'm okay with that. I guess getting totally pissed isn't exactly a great thing to do, but I'll only have a little, right? Right. Anyways, I've definitely noticed a few comments under my few vlogs to "Get a life, go outside" or to, "do something interesting for once." This most definitely counts as interesting.
Dan leaves the lounge and comes back in a few minutes with some sort of alcohol. I'm not really sure what it is, as I'm not the kind of person who knows about this kind of thing, but it's closed so I know it hasn't been drugged.
I pull up the tab and open the can. I secretly thank whatever deity is out there that it's not a twist top or something else that my poor uncoordinated hands wouldn't be able to handle. Once while in a restaurant with Katie, neither of us could open up the bottle so some other customer comes in with a bottle opener and just does it for us. To this day I shudder every time I think about it. Katie does too, but she's the kind of person who teases me about it then laughs.
After a couple sips, I think I'm ready to go. We put down our drinks and start the race, playing the same characters, this time in Coconut Mall. This one's always been my favorite, even if it's easy. I might need it, considering I'm already starting to feel like Hazel Hayes during Tipsy Talk. Especially the one I was in, where I didn't drink but just watched her slowly get more and more pissed. It actually kind of funny, sometimes, being the only sober one at a party, you get to see some interesting stuff.
Back in real life, I'm beating Dan. Mostly because I managed to nail him with a banana peel about three seconds in, but I like to call it my finesse and skill. Once I get enough of a lead I take another gulp of beer or whatever it is. I haven't bothered figuring that out yet.
With that done, I get back into focused mode, scrunched up face. I'd like to think that I look cute, like a little gamer girl or whatever, but in reality I probably look like a shaven pug. Pugs are cute and all, but not the most attractive animals. Being compared to one is definitely not the best.
I win the round, but we keep playing more, getting more and more intoxicated each race. By the end of the sixth, we're tied neck and neck. We've been taking breaks in between each to get snacks and drink more, so we're both a little bit more than tipsy. Dan's probably worse than I am, but I don't really know. I can't see myself, no one can except for Dan, so only he can tell. And he's drunk.
"How about this..." says Dan, "If you win this race I have to... eat mayonnaise. If you lose, I get to kiss you." I look at him, not sure if he's joking or not. He looks pretty serious, even if he's smiling.
"Lips or just face?" I ask, raising an eyebrow. This stuff matters to me.
Dan pauses and thinks for a moment, "Lips." I grin, ready for a challenge.
"Sure. I can't wait to watch you vomit up that mayonnaise in five minutes." He smirks.
"Totally. As long as I don't beat you first."
I don't know why I didn't think anything of his dare. Drunk Mia doesn't think much, that's for sure. And to those of you saying that this wasn't right, that Dan was just getting me drunk to kiss me, that's a perfectly rational thought, but he was as drunk as I was, and there really wasn't any kind of goal in it. We were joking around, that's all. Joking around as friends, or at least I thought we were.
Dan starts off in the lead. I guess Drunk Mia isn't quite as good at MarioKart as Drunk Dan, plus his hands don't seem to randomly twitch and make my cart run into a wall as much as his do. Maybe that last can wasn't a good idea. By the end of the first lap I'm starting to get stressed, by the second I'm starting to mentally scream, and by the third I've lost all hope. I can only put a bit of lip balm on and hope for the best. I sigh in defeat at the end of the race, sinking into the couch cushions as Dan celebrates.
"You don't have to kiss me," he says. I shake my head.
"A deal's a deal. Just get it over with, I guess." Dan sits down, looks at me, and grinning, moves his face closer and closer to mine. I close my eyes, just out of sheer flinching, and wait for it. I can feel the warmth of Dan's face as he pauses for a second, just a few millimeters away, and moves in.
The peck on the lips very quickly becomes more than a peck on the lips. In a matter of seconds we're literally making out. I don't know if this is good or bad, but at least I kind of know how to kiss. Kind of. Not really, Gale himself used to comment on how awful I was at kissing, and he wasn't the type of guy to make fun of anyone. This does feel pretty nice though, definitely more natural than a lot of times with Gale. Okay enough about him. This is Dan and I here.
Then of course comes to mind the fact that soon Gale is actually going to be near me and I'm going to have to somehow deal with that. Somehow. Suddenly I'm not kissing Dan anymore, I'm just frozen; too worried to do anything. Dan pulls away.
"Whoa. Wait. Um. What?" says Dan. His cheeks are turning bright red, and I think mine are too.
"I think we just kissed..." I mutter, staring at my hands, that moved from Dan's shoulders back into my lap.
"I guess that wasn't exactly a peck on the lips," remarks Dan, smirking. I laugh.
"I suppose not," I say, looking up at him and smiling. He can obviously see the worry still in my face, because he scrunches up his eyebrows and tilts his head to the side.
"Are you all right?" he asks. I look back up at him and shake my head.
"Not really. It's like- This guy I used to date is coming back to London, and I thought I'd gotten over him but I don't think I have, and I guess I kinda miss him a lot and I don't know what's going on... And all of that just came to mind and now I think I'm going to turn into a blubbering mess on your couch."
Dan looks at me wide-eyed, a little confused but very worried. "Oh. Wow. That sounds absolutely shitty. Do you need like, a hug or something?" I shrug and he comes a bit closer. "Seriously. I like you, I don't want you to feel bad." I smile.
"There's really not much you can do. I'm fine now, just overreacting. I mean.... Yeah. Sorry for making you worried and all." He grabs my hand.
"It's all right. I don't mind. I'm used to it, I think lots of girls seem to see me as a sort of diary. Not that you're like other girls or anything- um... How about we just go back to kissing?" I smile, and lean in once more.