I panicked as I heard the door to my dorm open, expecting to see Draco swaying back and forth looking to argue.
To my pleasant surprise it wasn't Draco, it was Fred. "How did you get past Malfoy and Theo in the common room?" I laughed, a wave of relief washing over me.
I imagined Draco's head would explode if he saw Fred headed to my room, after what he'd just walked in on. He looked confused "the common room was empty Izzy.."
"Oh" I sat up in bed to face him, whilst he sat at the edge, his hand placed on my leg on top of the sheets. "I'm sorry I told you like that, I just couldn't watch you with him, knowing what I knew" he gave me an awkward smile.
I gnawed at the soft flesh on the inside of my cheek, trying not to get upset again. "It's fine Freddie, but how did you even know?.. It just doesn't make any sense."
A small part of me still held onto the fact that it might not be true.. that Fred had given him a potion to lie or.. just fucking anything. Anything other than this.
"My brother Bill, his girlfriend goes to Beauxbaton's and he sent our Mum a letter telling us Malfoy was there because he knew he and Ron don't.. get on."
"Your brother wrote your mum a letter to tell her that Draco shagged his girlfriend's friend?" I snorted, knowing that clearly wasn't the truth.
"No of course not, I wrote her and asked what he was doing there and Fleur told me, actually" he jeered back.
"Oh that makes more sense, I guess" I shrugged, pretending I didn't care. "It's ok to be sad Iz, you're allowed to be sad.." he reached his hand out toward me, brushing my cheek with his thumb.
I started blubbing uncontrollably. I couldn't believe he'd betrayed me, when I would have done anything for him. It didn't make any fucking sense.
He didn't so much as kiss anyone whilst I was being homeschooled, unaware of his existence.. because he was waiting for me.. so how could he not manage to keep his dick in his trousers whilst we were apart for 3 months.. and he was supposedly looking for me.
If I thought about it too much my head began to buzz, so I made the conscious decision to just not think about it. "I'm.. I'm sorry for kissing you Freddie, it wasn't fair" I said between sobs, finding it hard to breathe through the tears.
He laughed "please don't apologise, there's no complaints from me" I laughed, wiping my eyes with my covers. "You'll be alright Iz, fuck him" he said pushing my shoulder playfully.
I smiled "thanks Freddie."'There was an air of awkwardness between us, I was struggling to fight back my want to kiss him.
I could see on his face he wanted the same as me, but I didn't want to hurt him.. I didn't want things to change between us.
I knew I couldn't have feelings for Fred, if I felt so torn up about Draco. It was my mind playing tricks on me, escapism from the reality of my situation.
I'd never imagined Draco and I would ever be done.. for good. He was my person. How would I ever love someone even a fraction of how much I loved him?
"Izzy?" Fred said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Mhm?" I muttered, not being able to form a coherent sentence in my cluttered brain.
"For fucks sake don't make me ask.." he laughed, throwing his head back. My words caught in my throat as I saw the protruding vein sticking out of the soft skin of his neck. "Ask what?"
He crawled upwards so he was above my body on his hands and knees. "Isabelle, don't make me ask to kiss you" I noticed I was staring at his lips as he licked them.
"Don't ask then" the words fell out of my mouth and before I knew it his lips were on mine, and I was glad of it.
"I don't want to lead you on.." I spoke between kisses, not having the willpower to stop. "You're not" he said, but I couldn't squash the feeling that this was a bad idea.
"I won't get carried away I know you love.. him" he pulled himself away from me and peeled my covers back. He resumed his position, with only the material of our clothes between us now.
"You want this just as much as I do, so just enjoy it" he smiled against my lips, making me smile too. "Think of it as an experiment" he started to kiss my neck, I giggled at the sweet sensation.
"What are the variables?" I breathed out, trying with all my might not to moan Draco's name. "Whether I love you, or just lust you" I snorted, unable to stifle my laugh.
"Freddie.." I groaned. "Izzy it's all in the name of science.. we won't even enjoy it. It has to be done!" He pulled his t shirt over his head, I left kisses along his freckled chest.
"I for one will hate every second" I said in jest. "I doubt that" he tugged at my pyjama top, signalling that he wanted to take it off.
He unhooked my bra without me realising, tossing it to the floor. He caressed my cheek with his thumb, taking each moment as it comes. I gasped as his warm tongue slid across my chest, I couldn't believe that this was truly happening.
His eyes flickered to meet mine every few seconds, ensuring I was at constant comfort. His thumb grazed my nipple, I groaned as my desires built up between my legs. It felt better to be here now with Fred, than earlier with Theo.
I felt safe, and wanted. Like I wouldn't just be tossed to the side as soon as I'd fulfilled my purpose. I knew I wouldn't regret this. Not for the same reason I'd regret sleeping with Theo anyway..
I ground my hips forward into his body, so he knew to carry on. His tongue swirled around one nipple whilst his hand teased the other, I pushed my head back into my pillow in ecstasy.
He tugged at my pyjama bottoms, I was hesitant as I knew I had nothing underneath.. but let him remove them anyway. He stared down at my body as he clutched my foot, suspending my leg in the air.
He left sweet kisses from my ankle, all the way to my inner thigh. As he edged closer to my core the kisses were drawn out, pressing his tongue against my skin each time.
I gasped as he kissed my hip, barely being able to stand the pressure that was building between my legs. "Do you want me to carry on Isabelle?" He questioned kindly, I nodded.
Suddenly the sound of muffled voices could be heard from the corridor just outside my dorm. "Shit!" I whispered, grabbing my clothes off of the floor and pulling my covers over my bare body.
"Weasley what a surprise" Blaise said angrily, as he walked into the room. "He was keeping me company, that's a whole lot more than you've fucking done for me Blaise" I spat.
"Iz, do you think I didn't want to tell you? Malfoy cried to me, begged me not to tell you, it's destroyed him too.. but I couldn't keep it from you, I couldn't watch you be happy with him knowing what he'd done."
Blaise sighed, as he noticed the tears welling in my eyes again, reliving the whole thing again. "I was the one who told Pans, and we were going to tell you. It just wasn't the right time" I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest atop the duvet.
"I'm just going to leave.." Fred announced, swiftly exiting the room without a proper good bye, t shirt clutched tightly in his fist. I held my breath and rubbed my eyes ferociously, I wanted that release, and I'd been disturbed again.
"It just doesn't add up, he doesn't remember a thing about it he said he only realised the next day because-" he suddenly stopped himself, gulping as though swallowing the words he couldn't bring himself to say.
"What? He realised when he saw the fucking cum on his dick the next day" I spat. "Iz no. That isn't what I was going to say."
"We all know how much he loves you, he just.. doesn't understand it himself, he doesn't know what came over him, he said it's as though he wasn't even there.. he was looking for you and went to a bar because he was frustrated, and he got chatting to this girl.."
"Astraea?" I spat her name out like a bad taste in my mouth. "Yeah, Astraea.. and he was talking about you.. and Hogwarts and stuff, then he wakes up in her bed" I laughed.
"Yeah right" I rolled my eyes. "I swear Iz, it's the truth, I could tell.. you should have seen him, he could barely get the words out" I closed my eyes, trying to stop myself crying again.
"He left without saying a word, he couldn't stand to look at her, he said. He couldn't wait to even find out what he'd done.. there's a chance he didn't-" Was Blaise seriously defending him?
"Well his disgust came a little too late for me" I snapped, cutting him off, eyes darting back open.
"He won't stop Iz, you know he won't.. he'll do anything to get you back" Pansy said, leaving Blaise's side to sit on my bed, stroking my arm with her fingertips.
"I don't care" I lied "Yes you do" she corrected.
"He just walked in on me and Nott in the common room" I blurted, revelling in how upset I was sure he'd be feeling right now.
"What on earth were you doing with Nott Isabelle?" Blaise exclaimed, eyes wide. Pansy looked at me in shock, mouth gaping open.
"You didn't" Blaise said, anger radiating in his voice. "No I didn't because I was interrupted" I rolled my eyes "just as you interrupted Fred and I then."
Blaise breathed a sigh of relief, placing his hands on the back of his head. "He pulled him straight off me, you should have seen him" I laughed. "Where is he?"
"Who cares" I replied, although I did care so much. "I care because he's probably about to fucking kill Nott" he quickly stormed out of the room on the hunt for Draco, leaving Pansy and I alone in the room.
I relayed to her the whole ordeal with Theo in the common room, and Draco bursting in and pulling him off me, and then of what almost happened with Fred.
Her hand was slapped across her mouth the whole time, pulling it away at the end to reveal a devilish smirk. "Isabelle what have you done?" she laughed.
"Serves him right" Blaise never returned, although I wasn't sure I expected him to. Pansy slept in my bed with me, comforting me as I faced my first night without Draco.
It was odd, in the whole time we'd been apart I could safely say tonight was the night I missed him the most.. knowing that it was over, there was no going back from this.
As much as it hurt, I couldn't allow him back into my life after breaking my heart so ruthlessly.
I took in a deep breath as I prepared myself to walk through the common room, and go to breakfast.
I wasn't hungry, but I needed to get this first time bumping into Draco out of the way, if I was ever going to heal from this I needed to face him.
My palms were covered in sweat as I pushed open the door to the common room, not knowing who could be in there. All eyes turned to me, I wasn't sure if it was in my head and the paranoia was just getting the better of me..
Until I started seeing people whispering to their friends, Pansy noticed it too and tightly grasped my clammy hand in hers letting me know I wasn't alone.
I caught Hermione's gaze as I walked into the great hall and took my seat at the Slytherin table, she gave me a small endearing smile.. which made me feel somewhat better.
I didn't look down the length of the table, I didn't want to see Draco. I couldn't make eye contact with him, because I knew just one glance would reduce me to tears.
Blaise soon joined Pansy and I, the look on his face was one of worry. "What?" I questioned, my mouth full of food. "You haven't heard?" He replied, puzzled. "Evidently not.." I prompted.
"Draco.. pushed Theo down the stairs" I clasped my hand over my mouth. "He's fine, he's just broken his leg" Blaise added quickly. "Breaking your leg is not fine Blaise" Pansy exclaimed, leaning across the table toward him.
"I've never seen him like that Iz, he was a mess last night" he bit his lip, looking down the table presumably toward Draco. I rolled my eyes "that's no longer my problem."
"He was crying Iz, he was inconsolable.. he wanted Theo dead" I bit the inside of my cheek, I couldn't believe he'd actually almost killed someone.. because of me.
"Where is Theo?" I thought it weird he hadn't sat with us, not like he had anyone else he could sit with, he'd definitely burned his bridges with Draco now.
"He's still in the hospital wing, and Draco has locked himself in our dorm and won't come out" he sighed. "Oh" I said, looking down. Why did I feel bad for the way Draco was feeling?
Why did I still care so much more about his feelings than I did my own, all of this was his fault. Crabbe and Goyle joined us, to my utter disgust. Crabbe patted me on the back "are you alright?"
"And why would you care how I feel Vincent?" I spat, moving as far as humanly possible away from him, without pushing Pansy off of the bench.
"We care about you Iz, and Malfoy we just want this whole thing to be forgotten about.. you've got him back now, now you can be together again.. you're even" Goyle added, looking hopeful.
"That is not how this works!" I said in disgust, pushing myself up from where I was seated and heading straight back out of the great hall, and out of the building.
I made my way onto the grass and lay down, staring up at the clouds in the sky. It was early September, and still decently warm.
The slight breeze over my skin was welcome, it reminded me I was alive, I am a person and I deserve so much better than to be cheated on by Draco Malfoy.
I lay there for what felt like hours, but I was sure it wasn't. I couldn't bring myself to go to lessons, I couldn't face anyone, I couldn't handle the judging stares and whispers. And this time I couldn't even go home, I didn't want to go home.
"Isabelle?" I groaned as I heard Cedric sit down next to me. "Are you quite alright?" he asked, concerned. "Cedric I'm fine" I didn't bother to look over at him. "You don't look fine.. you look a mess."
"Thanks" I laughed. "Congrats on the engagement" he said, before bursting into a fit of laughter. I covered my face with my hands, not being able to suppress my own laughter "fuck off."
"Isabelle Luvair, if I didn't know you so well I wouldn't quite believe it" he laughed even harder. "Bet you regret dropping me for him now" I'd never known Cedric to be so funny. Perhaps I'd rubbed off on him.
I sat up, leaning back on my hands, to face him. "There I go again, getting someone else nearly killed" I bumped my shoulder into his. "
"You know where I stand with you and Malfoy anyway, you deserve better than him.. especially now he's cheated" I groaned "does everyone know."
"Iz, people are going to talk when you hop from Fred Weasley to Theodore Nott in the space of 3 seconds" he nudged me back, referring to my kiss fest at the party. I groaned again, replaying the events that unfolded the night before.
I pulled a cigarette from the box Fred had given me and lit it between my lips, coughing as I exhaled forgetting how much it had hurt the first time.
"I didn't know you smoked Iz" Cedric said in shock. "I don't, but I think I may start" he laughed at my expense, but I didn't mind at all, I enjoyed the company.
I sat and chatted with Cedric a little longer, before I came to the decision I'd channel my anger into this stupid fucking cabinet I have to fix.
I hugged him before I headed toward the room of requirement. As I granted myself entry to the room I felt a twang in my chest, remembering the moment my heart had been ripped out of my chest in this very room.
Stacks of miscellaneous items filled the spaces in which we danced the night before. I wished I could use Hermione's time turner and go back to before I knew of Draco's infidelity, just to kiss him one last time.
I could hear the faint sound of sobs coming from the heaps of mess the room enclosed, as I walked deeper into it. I knocked a glass bowl off of a short table, causing a loud bang to ensue as it hit the floor and smashed into tiny pieces.
I watched as my worst nightmare unfolded in front of me. Draco appeared from behind a desk in one of the coves of the room, to find the source of the noise.
I gasped as we made eye contact, my eyes beginning to water just at the sight of him. "Belle.." he breathed, the tears falling from his eyes ran down his cheeks. "Don't" I spat, pointing my wand at him, threatening him not to come any closer.
He began to walk towards me despite my efforts, I ran my hands through my hair as the tears poured out of my eyes uncontrollably.
"Who's next" he shouted, angrily all of a sudden. "Goyle? I've heard he's pretty easy, just like you" I turned my head away from him. "Fred, Theo.. who's next you fucking slut?" he spat, rubbing his eyes aggressively, trying to rid them of the tears that refused to stop.
"Don't, Draco" the words came out a little less intimidating than I'd intended "you don't get to judge me for the way I deal with what you've done to me!" I screamed, so much anger spilling out of me.
"I was done, you were my person.. my Draco and you just go and fuck another girl behind my back, because you don't know where I am!"
"You don't have the right to judge me for trying to piece myself back together in any way I can, when you're the reason I'm broken" He closed his eyes, letting the tears fall.
"Belle please I don't even know how it happened" his anger began to subside, it was obvious he was upset.. at least I knew he cared even a little about me.
"But it fucking did. And now I've got to deal with the fact that I wasn't enough for you!" My legs felt as though they couldn't handle my weight any longer, I fell to my knees.
"I'm well within my rights to fuck every boy, girl, teacher in this school if it takes away even a fraction of the pain you've inflicted upon me" my sobs soon turned to screams, Draco ran over and placed a hand on my back.
"Get off me! Don't touch me, never touch me again. Because every time I look at you all I can see is her.. don't you dare touch me with the same hands that touched her."
"Is she prettier than me? Smarter? Richer? More powerful? What does she have that I don't?" I didn't have the strength to move away from him, for some reason I wanted to feel his touch "Belle.. nothing, you are everything no one even compares."
"That makes it worse!" I sobbed "you fucked her and you came back to me and you looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me.. you asked me to marry you for fucks sake and you knew you'd fucked her.. you piece of shit."
I punched the floor beneath me, as every inch of my body was filled with pure rage. "Darling please" I found it hard to catch my breath, I was crying so hard. "Please Belle, please" he begged "please stop crying I'll do anything."
"I wish I'd never fucking met you" I sobbed.
"Darling please, I can't even fucking remember it.. I'd never.. I wouldn't ever purposely hurt you, just let me make this right" he cried.
"I can't" he reached out his hand to touch my skin again, I flinched away, earning a shocked gasp from his lips.
He exited the room, and suddenly the world was silent. My sobs echoed through the vast interior, as though they were the only sound left in the world.
I attempted to repair the vanishing cabinet alone, with instructions from Borgin, but to no avail. I couldn't get my mind to focus on the task after my conversation with Draco, after any of this shit that had happened in the past few days.
I knew it would be a difficult task, but I wasn't quite aware how difficult. Stress increased the anxiety I already developed from being kidnapped and locked away, I found myself looking over my shoulder in short intervals just to ensure I were still alone.
I yelled and kicked the cabinet in frustration, I took out my frustrations upon the lifeless wood, pelting it with my foot.
How dare it not work after witnessing that gut wrenching screaming match between Draco and I. If it could talk I knew it'd be laughing straight in my face.
Defeated, I headed back to my dorm to wallow in my own self pity. When I arrived I was overjoyed to see Pansy, without Blaise for once.
"Iz I have some brilliant news" she beamed as she looked up to see it were me that walked through the door. "Draco has left school and decided to never return?" I fake smiled.
I wasn't sure what news she'd actually deem brilliant in times like these. She scoffed "no."
"Well then I'm not interested I'm afraid" I slumped down onto my bed, face buried in the covers. "We've been invited to the Weasley's, they're throwing Hermione a birthday dinner this weekend."
I didn't bother to move a muscle in my body, other than to lift up my cursed fucking ring. "I've already thought about that, idiot" she laughed. "I'm listening..."
"Blaise can wear it" she spoke cheerily. "Will it not.. you know.. know?" I pondered. "I found a charm.. in a book." My head shot up to face her "you read a book.. for me?"
I clutched my hand to my chest, sarcastically but also overjoyed that she'd cared that much about me, that she'd even thought to delve into the pages of a book we weren't required to read. She barely ever read the ones we were supposed to.
She rolled her eyes "don't get used to it" pointing a finger at me. I put my hands in the air "thanks Pans, you're the best" I smiled widely at her.
"It's just a counter charm, it'll make it so that your Father can't see where the ring is.. and Blaise can wear it, incase he figures it out and recasts the charm."
"You're brilliant!" I exclaimed jumping onto her bed and wrapping my arms around her. Suddenly the idea faltered in my mind "it won't fit on his finger.." my glum expression returned once more.
"Well if not he can shove it on a toe for all I care, we're going and that's that!" We both laughed together. I sighed as I overcame the laughter, I laid my head on her cross legged lap. I was nervous to see Fred.
She played with my hair, sensing my sudden mood change. "You miss him don't you?" She spoke softly, in a tone I wasn't sure I'd heard from her before.
"I do" I breathed, and soon enough the tears began to fall. "I told him I wished I'd never met him, but that's a lie. All I can think of is how upset he must have been watching me with Fred.. and Theo, at the party."
I closed my eyes, as I felt the rush of salty tears sting my already swollen orbs. Pansy didn't say a word she just listened. "If I could go back to the first day we met and I had the option to never know him, I'd still choose feeling like this over not knowing him at all."
"It'll get better Iz" she hummed. "It won't, but I'll survive. I have no other choice."
The next time I saw Draco was at dinner, my eyes fell on him as soon as I entered the hall, almost as though my body sensed his presence.
He sat with his head leaned on one hand, pushing a pea around his plate with the fork in his other. I sighed, wanting nothing more than to go over and sit with him but knew my pride wouldn't let me.
I took a seat at the furthest end away from him, he was alone.. not even bothering to speak with Crabbe and Goyle. I third wheeled Blaise and Pansy, an occurrence that was becoming a little too frequent for my liking.
"Hello darling" I heard a familiar voice, I couldn't stifle the smirk that formed on my lips as I turned to see Theo on a pair of crutches. "I see you're a little worse off that me" I laughed.
"All worth it for you, gorgeous" he said sarcastically. "Fuck off" I returned his sarcasm. Blaise groaned "Theo, I don't think you need to wind up Malfoy anymore than you already have, perhaps sit somewhere else.." he snarled at him.
"Calm down mate" Theo chuckled "I thought we were friends." Blaise shook his head in disbelief. I shuddered, not wanting to give the school another reason to talk about me.
"We were until you tried to take advantage of Isabelle" Blaise muttered, shovelling food into his mouth. Theo laughed, knocking into me with his shoulder.
"Are you mad? I wouldn't say I took advantage of you darling, you couldn't stop moaning my name." He was so smug, so proud of himself. It made me sick.
Blaise stabbed his fork into a potato, so hard it flew straight off of his plate. Pansy and I jumped, not used to seeing him so riled up. "I saw you give her a fucking pill you cunt, fuck off before I break your other leg."
"Don't be jealous because you're stuck with Parkinson, Zabini" Theo spat back, he always took the joke too far. "I didn't take advantage of you, did I Belle" I saw him bite his lip, out of the corner of my eye. "I'd love to hear your little moans again."
I pushed him backward straight off of the bench, rage filled me as he spoke so poorly about Pansy, more than anything he'd said about me.
"That's a pretty bold statement to come from a rebound Nott" I spat. Everyone around us that witnessed the interaction, burst into laughter as Theo groaned in pain clutching his bandaged leg from the hard cold floor.
Draco appeared standing over Theo, staring at him in disgust. "What did he say to you Belle?" it was obvious he'd watched the entire conversation from afar.
"I can handle myself, thanks Malfoy" I said, trying not to look up at him. "I can handle her thanks Malfoy" Theo mocked.
Draco kicked him right on his broken leg, causing a high pitched scream to erupt from Theo's mouth, before turning and storming out of the room.
I waited a moment, before storming out of the hall myself, hoping I wouldn't bump into Draco. The whole interaction had made my stomach turn.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I made it out into the large corridor, with Draco no where to be seen. I gasped, trying to catch my breath as I began to cry again.
It seemed all I'd done since coming back to school was cry, but I couldn't be too hard on myself, I was hurting.
I sat in one of the window frames of the corridor, looking out onto the courtyard, allowing the tears to fall from my eyes silently as I watched students laughing with their friends beyond the glass.
The corridor was so still, until I heard the unmistakable noise of dress shoes hitting the concrete floor. I looked out of the window frame I was sitting in, to see none other than Draco scurrying off down the hallway.
I sighed knowing he'd heard me whimper, but perhaps I wanted him to.. he was the one who caused this pain I was feeling. I sat there for a while before I felt it best I headed to my lesson.
I wouldn't have gone at all if it wasn't Lupin teaching it. I knew for a fact that I'd leave the lesson feeling far better, than if I were to sit in my room all day.
I stood beside Pansy, and braced myself for Draco to take his spot beside Blaise, out of habit. I was thankful that Theo wasn't in any of my lessons this year, I hoped for his sake that he wasn't in any of Draco's either.
I felt Draco's gaze burn into the side of my head as I stood beside my friends at the back of the room, awaiting further instruction from Lupin as to where we'd be sitting this year.
"Malfoy, Luvair, Parkinson, Granger, Weasley, Potter front row please, in that order" he called, shooting me a knowing smile across the classroom as though he thought he was doing me a favour.
If only he knew I was no longer with Draco.. his face faltered as he caught a glimpse of my crimson cheeks. "Any problems?" He questioned, Draco answered for me "no, that's fine."
Lupin watched intently as awkwardly took my seat next to Draco, pushing my chair as far right toward Pansy as I could. Once the whole class was seated the lesson commenced.
"Today Witches and Wizards we'll be learning about..." Lupin drummed his fingers along the edge of his desk to build suspense. Causing a laugh to escape my lips, that was quickly returned with a judging tut from Draco.
"Our Patronus!" He exclaimed excitedly, before going on to explain that these were an essential for us.
As the wizarding world was becoming ever-increasingly dangerous, a persons patronus can be used to defend against dementors. Harry seemed to know a lot about patronuses, I suspected he'd already been shown how to summon his as he'd told me about his run ins with dementors before..
"This is a very advanced form of magic, but I believe with my guidance we'll be able to summon them up just fine!" Lupin spoke confidently, it was quite frightening how much I enjoyed his lessons.
"Fancying a professor that's disgusting" Draco spat, clearly aimed at me, as I sat wide eyed looking at Lupin as he taught.
"Fucking another girl behind your girlfriend's back and then proposing to her is disgusting" I spat back, a little too loud.. everyone else in the room fell silent after I said it, I gulped hard.
"Oops" I laughed, causing Pansy to join in with my laughter. "Isabelle, my prized pupil.. shall we have a go!" Lupin suggested, to which I happily obliged, after watching a couple of the other pupils struggling to summon theirs.
The class had taken to their feet and we were all stood in a circle, with the student summoning their patronus stood in the middle so we can all watch closely. I happily joined Lupin centre stage.
"Right, now imagine your happiest memories.. picture them as though they were happening right now.. as though you're in them. I don't know, perhaps detention with Snape."
He stood behind me with his hands on my shoulders, whispering to my ear just loud enough for the class to hear, if they were concentrating enough.
I laughed at the joke of Snape's detention being my happiest memories. "It has to be the happiest, whatever that may be, I won't judge.. our Patronus is comprised of all of the joy within each of us, without the negatives that the dementors need, that's how they protect us against them!"
I stood and thought about the times in Hogsmeade with Harry, Hermione, Ron and Pansy. I was sure they were the happiest days of my life.
"Now Isabelle.. when you're ready cast the spell say expecto patronum" Lupin breathed into my ear, still clutching my shoulders as I closed my eyes and tried to remember my happiest times whilst living through my darkest.
"Expecto Patronum!" I called out.. nothing. I sighed, angry at myself for failing. "It's difficult Isabelle, don't be disheartened just think of something else."
Pansy called out "think of Paris with.." she began before Blaise hit her with his wand from beside her. I laughed and regained my composure.
I pictured Fred in my mind, lying across from me his face a picture of complete happiness as he blurted out that he loved me, then when he span me round and round in the Gryffindor common room..
All of the nights in the summer, we'd laugh and sing and dance around the living room when everyone else were asleep.. the other night when I almost slept with him..
"Expecto Patronum!" I shouted again, feeling a little more confident. Nothing again! "Dig deeper Isabelle" Lupin's words danced along my cheek.
"For fucks sake Isabelle think of me, you fool" Draco called out, causing my eyes to shoot open and notice everyone else's eyes darting between the two of us. "This is a little awkward" Lupin whispered to me "I sense some animosity.."
"Fuck off Malfoy" I jeered. I felt a chuckle come from behind me as Lupin laughed "give it a try." I thought about Draco, all of the good times we had from when we were children, to when we got older..
The feeling in my stomach returned from that very first time we kissed, the first time we said I love you and the first time we had sex.
"Expecto Patronum" I spoke, silently hoping it wouldn't work and I could pretend my happiest moments weren't with Draco, but to my dismay a white cloud of smoke began to materialise before my eyes.
"Oh Merlin!" Lupin exclaimed, squeezing my shoulders tightly. I watched in amazement as a glistening silver dragon appeared in the centre of the room, the entire class shocked as the ones who'd gone before me had hedgehogs and cats.
"A special Patronus, for a special student" Lupin said, before releasing me from his grasp so I could look closer at the Patronus that danced above my head.
It was huge, far larger than any student that came before me. I reached out my hand to touch it but it felt as though there was nothing there.
The whole class began to applaud at my efforts. "I must make you very happy Belle" Draco whispered as I made my way back over to where Pansy stood.
"Malfoy, you're up!" Lupin called upon him. "I haven't got one" he spat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Just think of all the times you've made other people miserable, I'm sure a toad will pop up" I spat.
Lupin couldn't help but to laugh at my comment, but tried to cover it up "come on Malfoy everyone's having a go."
"Fine" he said, making his way into the middle. He closed his eyes and seemed to be deep in thought forever, I watched him closely wishing I could see what was running through his mind.
I couldn't help but to think he could be thinking of Astraea, the thought made my stomach turn and I felt myself getting worked up all over again.
I watched as his lip twitched, he clenched his jaw trying to disguise it from everyone else but I saw his lip quivering as though he were about to burst into tears.
"Expecto Patronum!" He shouted, lunging forward and producing a dragon out of thin air. I huffed in annoyance that his were the same as mine, and he'd done the spell on his first go.
"That's not fair why's he stolen mine!" I yelled. "Sometimes they change.. if you fall in love" Lupin spoke, awkwardly as though he felt embarrassed for me.
"My Mother and Father had the same Patronus. Well sort of.. my Father's was a stag and my Mother's a doe" I heard Harry over the mumbles of students. "No one cares Potter" Draco spat, showing he'd heard him too.
"Well you must think of another one Draco because you're not having the same one as me I won't have it" I said, I stepped into the circle toward him slightly, so he'd hear me above the noise in the classroom.
"It's not that simple Isabelle" Lupin answered for him. "I refuse to use my Patronus then, I'd rather be attacked by a dementor than share the same Patronus as Beauxba-bitch shagging Draco Malfoy!" I shouted at him.
Lupin's face was a picture as he'd evidently strung together the series of events that created the hostility between Draco and I.
Hermione's laughter echoed throughout the classroom, and soon enough everyone erupted into laughter, after being stunned silent by my announcement.
Draco looked at me in disgust "fuck off" he spat. I pressed my wand to his chest, only a few steps away from him now. "No Malfoy you fuck off" I spat.
"Ok class I think we'll leave this here before anyone gets killed!" Lupin ended the lesson promptly, with half an hour to go. The class filtered out leaving Draco and I, our friends and professor Lupin left behind.
Hermione came to my side and tapped my shoulder, "come on Belle, he's not worth it" I took a sharp breath in, before walking away from him.
"Hermione, Ron, Harry I'll see you this weekend, come on Pans" I gestured as I walked to the door, ensuring no one would see me speaking with anyone associated with Harry, now I'm pretty much a founding member of the Death Eaters.
Blaise and Pansy walked ahead with me, leaving Draco trailing behind us. As soon as we left the room Blaise burst into a fit of laughter all over again "Beauxba-bitch Isabelle, Malfoy's face was priceless" he said, slapping his hand over his mouth.
"Something funny Zabini?" Draco's voice echoed through the empty corridor, I was sure I could hear Hermione, Ron and Harry laughing too as they walked off in the opposite direction.
"Yes, actually" Blaise didn't shy away from Draco's confrontation. Draco's gaze turned to me, as I stood beside Pansy and Blaise. "You're lucky I didn't mention Theo between your legs" he spat, edging closer toward me.
"Thank you so much for sparing my feelings, we wouldn't be in this mess if you'd have thought that way when you were 7 inches deep into Astraea Fearbone" I fake smiled at him, using everything in me to stop from bursting into tears as her name rolled off of my tongue.
"Can you not just fucking forget about that, what do you want me to fucking do Isabelle?" he pleaded, not caring that Blaise and Pansy were stood right there.
I felt my cheeks going red, and a lump formed in my throat as I felt the pain hitting me again as I had to keep thinking about Draco with another girl.
"Did you think about her, or me to summon your patronus?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know the answer. I tried to hide my distraught but he noticed, his eyes turned soft and he placed a hand on my cheek.
To my dismay I didn't bat it straight back off, I let it linger for a moment, craving the feel of his skin against mine. "You, of course" he muttered.
"Please don't touch me Draco" I whispered, removing his hand gently "because every time you touch me all I can think about is the way you touched her" a single tear rolled down my cheek, he brushed it away with his thumb, ignoring what I said and edging closer to me.
"Darling please we-" he started. I pulled his hand off of my face again. "Don't, there is no we, this is your mistake.. live with it.. because I have to" my voice broke.
Blaise grabbed my arm from behind me and pulled me around to face the two of them. "Come on Iz let's just go" Pansy spoke softly, in a comforting tone.
Blaise gave me an endearing smile, and off we went leaving Malfoy stood in the empty corridor alone.