A/N: This was a request from @shubooka36. Thank you so much for the request, I really enjoyed writing this!
"Hmmm, hmmm, hmm" you hummed to your four month year old baby girl as she was feeding off your breast
You looked at her as she quietly drank, making you smile slightly at your baby's cuteness, however, that was soon overturned by your postpartum depression, you've been feeling sad and upset ever since you gave birth to your second child
You loved your child and your family with Grayson, there was no doubt about that, you just didn't feel yourself anymore, you felt bloated, ugly, unworthy of having such a happy family
Soon enough you put your baby in her crib and wished her a good night as a few tears slipped from your eyes, feeling dumb for crying since you had such a good family
You walked down stairs to get your two year old daughter Bailey so you could take her to her room
"Bailey, sweetie, time to go to bed" you spoke to your daughter
"Just one more show mommy, please" she asked giving her usual puppy eyes
"I don't think so missy, you know daddy doesn't like you staying up so late" you reminded her
"When is daddy coming home?"
"As soon as he's done recording a video with uncle Ethan"
Your two year old nodded as she stood carefully and turned off the television and walked towards you
"Mommy look!" she said as she raised her shirt to show her tummy, "My tummy isn't round like yours mommy!" she said innocently
This shot a pang through your heart as you own daughter had unconsciously called fat
"That's right sweetie, you're very thin, let's take you to bed now" you smiled as you held back your tears and took your daughter to her bedroom and put her to sleep
You walked to yours and Grayson's room and silently slid down the edge of the bed on the floor
You stared at the floor for a moment before the tears started streaming down your face
Why, why am I like this, I have everything to be happy and yet I feel miserable, I miss my old body...maybe if I lost weight or if I got surgery to lose my fat...no, no Grayson loves me regardless of my weight...but what if...
Your thoughts consumed your head as your sobs unawaringly got louder and louder, waking up your two year old daughter Bailey
Bailey rubbed her eyes open as she sleepily walked to her parents room only to find you crying on the floor
"M-mommy? Mommy?!" your two year old cried out for you, but you couldn't get out of your crying state
"M-mommy, I'm going to call daddy" she said as she ran to the living room to get your phone and call Grayson
"Hey Y/N, we're almost don-"
"D-daddy, m-m-mommy...mommy is c-crying and I-I don't know what to do" Bailey said as she spoke to Grayson
Grayson's breath hitched at the thought of you crying and him not being there for you, "Ethan, I have to go now" Grayson said as he rushed out the door
"Bailey, sweetie, where's mommy right now?" he asked trying to sound calmly
"She's in her room"
"Ok, I want you to stay on the phone, I'll be there in five minutes, can you go to where mommy is?"
"Y-yes" she spoke as she walked to where she found you still on the floor, crying and speaking incoherent words
"M-mommy? D-daddy is going to be here soon mommy"
"N-no, I don't want him to see me like this" you cried even louder
"Sweetie, go to your room, I'm right outside the house" spoke Grayson through the phone
"Ok daddy"
Bailey walked to her room and got under the covers with her stuffed animal, closing her eyes and drifting away to sleep
Grayson opened the door quickly and ran to the room you were in, only to have his heart broken at the sight in front of him
"Y/N" he whispered as you looked up to look at him with tears in your eyes and running down your face rapidly
"Grayson" you whispered as he sat in front you and brought you to his lap where you buried your face in his chest and let out your sobs even more as just rubbed your back softly
"Let it all out baby, cry it all out" he said as you shook in his arms as he held you tightly to his chest
"Grayson, I feel so...so upset with myself, I don't feel like myself, I-I I'm fat and I don't do anything productive, I feel like-like a failure" you said as you cried out
"You're not, I promise you, you're not a failure, you're the best thing that could have ever happened to me" he said as he smoothed your head slowly
"And you're not fat, you just have more for me to hold and love and adore, I love every inch of you, every stretch mark, all the cellulite you may have, I love it all" he said as he held your face and wiped your cheeks from your tears, "You're beautiful" he whispered as he kissed your lips softly
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for behaving like this"
"It's ok, I promise you it's ok, many women suffer through postpartum, we can get you the help you need professionally if you feel any worse ok? I'll do my best to be besides you and give you all my love" Grayson said as you nuzzled yourself into his chest
"I love you Grayson, I love you so so much"