Jace
Declan is driving right behind my car, Hope and Jonas with him, and all of their stuff sitting on the free seat space left over. I can feel my heart itching with irritation as I sit next to Aiden, driving past the suburbs of LA, still being able to hear waves washing on the shore.
That must've been Liam fucking Jones. Hope was kissing him like they were about to get married or something. Like he owned her and she owned him. Like they were fucking meant to be. If I hadn't discovered who Jonas was last night, she probably would've made him my son's fucking step-father. I could feel myself wanting to put a bullet in his head when his lips were interlocked with hers. Seeing his hands cup her damn face made my eyes burn.
I know my head's all fucked up when it comes to Hope. Like there's some sort of disconnect in my heart and brain when it comes to her. But I definitely don't like that woman. Infact, I hate her. I hate her for every part she has ever played in my life. So why do I feel a drop in my gut every time some other man touches her?
"We're here, Walter Mitty," Aiden jokes.
"Walter who?" I ask him, thoroughly confused while unbuckling my seat belt.
"Nevermind," he shrugs me off as I notice that we're parked on one of the runways.
We get out of the car and make way to the only plane standing in far sight, the sun slowly setting beyond its wings, leaving behind a buttery golden glow.
"The jet's ready for you, sir," Caleb says, approaching me.
I nod in his direction before climbing up the stairs into the jet. Aiden walks in past me but I pause at the threshold, turn around, and watch Hope do what she does best. Shed some fucking tears by Declan's car.
Two men are helping unload all their stuff while she steps out of the car with Jonas in her arms. She gives Declan a tight hug, and he holds onto her until she's ready to let go. He gives Jonas a light kiss on the forehead and Jonas immediately starts crying. Hope tries to cuddle him in her arms but his hands wildly point towards Declan. Jonas does not stop crying until Hope lets Declan hold him in his arms, swaying and cooing him. Then Hope whispers something in Jonas's ear, causing him to reluctantly shift back in his mother's embrace. Declan rubs the back of her shoulder as she makes her way up the stairs. The man's eyes then turn to me, just once, and his shoulders sag before he watches his sister and nephew make their way up to me.
I walk inside and take my seat, not wanting to witness anymore of this depressing soap opera. But something in my gut still churns at how Jonas clung onto Declan. At the tears on his face and Hope's because of me.
Aiden's already sitting at the back end of the jet, so I take the seat up front that is accompanied by a table. When Hope makes her way up, she takes the seat that faces directly at me from the other end of the table, since there's no other option left. She puts Jonas down on the seat beside her and secures his seatbelt first. Then she moves on to securing hers, all without making any eye contact with me.
"We're ready for takeoff," Caleb announces on the intercom after which I secure my own seat belt.
I take my eyes off of Hope and use them to look at Jonas instead.
It's the first time I notice how his hair's a little darker than mine, a golden brown like Cora's, but he has my eyes. Exactly my eyes. And even my nose. His lips are bright pink from the red popsicle he's sucking on, the bribe Hope gave him for leaving Declan. His eyes never meet mine, and mine never leave his.
Everyday after Cora's death, I laid in my bed at night, completely void and numb of feelings I had felt too much. I had nothing to live for. No one to wake up for everyday once the sun hit my windows. I felt like I could be dead and it wouldn't matter. Like there was nothing I needed to be doing. I didn't see a future in my life because maybe, a dark corner in my heart didn't want one.
But as I look at the perfect little human sitting six feet away from me right now I think: Shit. I have a son. I have a fucking son. And right here, in this small little jet, is where I see my future. I see hard times, especially when I start teaching Jonas how to use a gun and Hope tries to strangle me in my sleep. Or when he starts bringing girls home for dinner every night and I judge them until they leave. But I see good times too. Like when he goes to his first day of school until he graduates from his last. Or when he grows old enough to steal clothes from my closet. Old enough to lead the Wolves. Aren't these all the things they show in movies? All the things families are supposed to have?
But regardless of it all, I see my reason to live. To wake up everyday and embrace every sunrise.
~~~
A couple of hours pass by as I drift off to sleep. The windows are dark now and I open my eyes to Jonas running around all over the seats, twisting this way and that as he pretends the entire jet is a maze. He finally comes and stops next to mine.
"Hey there little buddy," I say as I bend over to level with him, even though my heart thunders in my chest.
"Who you?" he asks me in broken words, his voice like music to my ears.
He's talking to me. My son is talking to me. I grin a little.
"I'm your daddy."
I can feel Hope's eyes widen in pure rage. I grin wider.
"No. Daddy gone. Only Mommy," he replies and my grin disappears.
When I look up to her, she steals her eyes away from mine.
"Well daddy's back now," I tell him, bending back down.
"Come back here, Jonas", Hope hisses in a stern tone and he instantly rushes away from me.
She picks him up and sets him on her lap.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" she speaks in my direction, careful to not raise her voice too high.
"No point in lying now," I snarl as she hides a frustrated sigh.
I don't get this woman. Why is she fighting this so much? Even though she has already lost.
A couple more hours go by and I'm itching to get off this damn plane, what with Hope's hatred the only thing to keep me company. Finally, Caleb declares the start of our descent and I watch her tighten Jonas's seat belt. The jet trembles a little and with a final thud, the wheels screech on land. Jonas jerks from his seat and I find my hands reaching out to him but Hope's already there, tucking him in further. I immediately look away.
"I'm going straight to the warehouse," Aiden says as walks up to my seat.
"It's 4 in the morning, Aiden."
"I have to sort some things before I'm ready for Luca to grill us both tomorrow."
"Shit. Our appointment."
I can feel Hope's eyebrows shoot up behind us but she says nothing as Aiden and I make our way down the stairs.
"He rescheduled it. But he's definitely pissed off," Aiden replies.
"I'll help Hope settle in and meet you at the store tomorrow."
He leaves before us and I stand at the bottom of our jet, waiting for Hope to climb down with Jonas in her arms. He plays with her hair, talking to her in broken words as she makes her way down, one careful step after another in a pace so slow I'd find it annoying in any other woman with any other boy in her arms.
"Make sure the baggage gets home," I instruct Caleb before prodding Hope to follow me.
I can tell she's thinking exactly what I'm thinking as my gaze follows her wrists. No handcuffs this time. No dragging her by her hair. I refrain from cringing and keep walking at a steady pace instead.
"Where are we going to live?" she asks.
"With me. It's the safest option," I tell her as I finally spot my car.
Hope sits on the backseat with Jonas and I get to drive home in peace.
Hope
We arrive at what looks like the entrance to a mansion. Jace parks the car in front of a grand entrance held up by white marble pillars and a polished, giant wooden door. We get out and watch as his valet drives the car back down a small hill of the estate and it disappears inside a basement down there. Does he not live at the penthouse anymore?
The door opens to a grand foyer, carpeted luxuriously to every inch of its space. There are mirrors everywhere, similar design but varying sizes. A couch sits to the right, with a beautiful vase of dead flowers on each side of it. I frown a little.
Jace leads us up the staircase at the end of the foyer before reaching what looks like the living room on the second floor. One side of the wall is fit with a wall sized window. And like I expected, the curtains on it are drawn in, blocking any light that might be arriving with the sunrise. A huge tv screen is fitted onto the second wall, with minimal decor that fills up the space around it tastefully. Black leather couches are placed in a three-sided square in the center of the room, right on top of yet another carpet. There's a dark, wooden coffee table in between them, occupied with an unorganized pile of books and magazines. And then there's empty space everywhere. Much more than one could ever need.
We keep walking to the end of the living room and climb yet another flight of stairs up to the third floor. I glance down at the kitchen that sits on the opposite side of the living room, on the left from the stairs of the foyer instead of right. I glance back up and once we arrive on the third floor, I'm truly awestruck by how big this place really is.
A railing forms a circle around a clearing that is hollowed out through all three floors, allowing one to look straight down upon the foyer. As we follow the railing, I lose count of how many doors there really are. He must have a hundred bedrooms in this place.
"You live here alone?" I ask him, weary of how much I need to walk just to get to my room.
"For the most part," he responds.
How can someone want to live in such a big place all alone? I mean, it's a huge hassle just to get down from your bedroom to the kitchen. I'd just sleep in the living room to be honest.
"This one's for you," he says as he finally opens a door.
It's surprisingly minimalistic, but in a sophisticated way. There's a nice bed in the center with a carpet and couch that follow. Tables on either side with a bed lamp on each. Nice, big windows that offer a view to a big backyard that's only one small slice of this estate.
"And what kind of room would you like buddy?" Jace asks Jonas, his voice surprisingly tender.
"Jungle book!" Jonas exclaims.
I put him down before addressing the confused look on Jace's face.
"So he wants a book instead of a room?"
I hold in my chuckle before clearing his doubts.
"It's a disney cartoon. He wants his room to look like it."
"I'll have Aiden call a few people."
"He isn't used to sleeping in his own bed yet so take your time."
Jace nods in my direction. Ever since we sat on that plane, there has been some sort of tension between us. It's like we've forgotten how to be in each other's company. Or maybe it's the fact that we have a son together now. Regardless, I just want to take a long nap and attempt to forget what a mess all of this has become.
"I've set the alarms everywhere. Until we find out who's behind the bounty, you will not leave this house alone."
And there it is. That trait in this man to always give a rise to my temper.
"I won't have one of your men following me," I snap at him.
"Good. Then I hope you enjoy your stay at home," he snarls before leaving the room.
What an asshole. He hasn't changed one bit.
I put Jonas down on the bed before walking to the bathroom. I really had forgotten what it feels like to be living with a billionaire because the bathroom does a good job of reminding me. A big circular bathtub sits in the front, glistening with a surface clean enough to show you your reflection. Two sinks are fitted on marble counters that follow a circular path back until the bathroom's shower. The shower's glass boundaries extend back to the bathtub, making me think that there must be a steam room in there somewhere.
So I take a nice hot bath but decide to come out before I doze off in the bathroom itself. I draw the curtains in, blocking the sunlight that now enters our room and slide into bed besides Jonas. He's still out cold, probably from the flight. I better take my nap before he wakes up and becomes grumpy the dwarf.
Jace
I take a short shower before grabbing a quick breakfast. I'm tempted to take a nap really, but I don't have the time for that. I should drive to the warehouse and get over with all the shit Luca's going to give me. I swear that man's wedding will be the end of all of us.
I knock on Hope's door to tell her that I'm leaving but she doesn't answer. She must be asleep. Someone needs to be guarding them all the time and I can't leave before I appoint a few guards. So I go through some depressing shipment lists instead, waiting for Danny and Mateo to get here. When they finally arrive, I find myself agitated by their punctuality. Why is it that everyone's on time when you don't want them to be?
"No one leaves Hope from their sight," I instruct them both.
"Got it boss," Mateo replies with a confused look before I head out the door.
I'm sure he'll be even more confused at the little surprise that sleeps inside the house with her as well.
When I reach the warehouse, Luca's already sitting in my office, looking like a bull who just saw a red flag. I brace myself as I take my seat, slightly surprised he doesn't start before letting me.
"Where the fuck have you been boss?"
"Aiden didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what? That you overstayed your time in LA?"
"Luca—"
"Sofia and I were this close to losing our shit."
"Luca! Calm the fuck down and listen to me." He pauses, slightly surprised by the raise in my voice. "Have you seen Aiden?" I ask him.
Luca's eyebrows shoot up as he slowly finds a chair and drags it to my desk. He sits in it.
"Yeah. He stopped by early this morning."
"What did he tell you about LA?"
"Nothing much. Just that you'd fill me in later."
That's why he's so pissed. Because he has no idea about half the shit that I'm dealing with. And it's so classic of Aiden to leave informing Luca or me. I roll my eyes, the only gesture of preparation I allow for myself, before unloading everything on Luca, surprisingly feeling lighter than I did last night. He freezes in his seat for a long time, cursing under his breath, before the color returns to his face.
"Jonas Jacob Sullivan, huh? It's got a nice ring to it," Luca smiles, the weariness from earlier now replaced by awe.
"She did choose a good name. I'll give her that."
We sigh together, the fog of the past slowly clearing by goals for the future. My son's future.
"Fuck, boss. You've got a son. And the Thunder Wolves have got their heir." My heart smiles at his words.
He stands up and starts pacing around the room, as if the wheels in his mind have now started working.
"How did Hope hide this? I mean, is this why she ran away? To keep him away from you?"
"I don't know, Luca. But I plan on asking her about everything soon."
I stand up to get a glass of water and gulp it down instantly. How long has it been since I ate?
"When's the appointment?" I ask him, catching my breath.
"In an hour. But you don't have to go."
"Of course I do. You'll be making the biggest mistake of your life five days from now. I want to make sure I look damn good for it."
Despite ourselves, I get a chuckle out of him.
"One day, boss, I'll be doing the same at your wedding."
"Stop kidding yourself, Luca. You know my wedding day is as impossible as—"
"As you having a son?" he interrupts me.
"Fuck off."
He opens his mouth to say something but decides against it. I'm sure whatever it is, it'll come soon enough.
"When's our next shipment coming in?" I ask him instead.
"Tomorrow night."
"Good. I need a list of everyone we employ. I'm doing a routine check."
"Sure." He nods, turns, then stops. "Are you sure you're okay boss?"
"For fuck's sake, Luca. How many times have I told you you sound like a woman when you say that."
"Too many to count," he mutters. "I'll be back."
He leaves but his question still lingers. Jonas is here. Jonas is my son. And it fills me up with more joy than I have ever known. But Hope's words still haunt me. Still pierce my chest everytime I take a breath.
Cora and my failure to protect her. If I fail this time to protect my son, it'll destroy Hope. It'll destroy me. It'll destroy everything both of us care about. And there will be no coming back from that.
Hope
I reluctantly open my eyes to Jonas tugging at my shirt. He must be starving after that long night and day we've had. I pull him into me and kiss his face until he struggles out of my grip. This two year old is already getting sick of his mother's love. What am I going to do when he brings home a wife?
I get out of bed and put Jonas on the floor. As we walk down the stairs, he just can't stop looking around, whirling on his feet and craning his neck in every direction, awestruck by his father's mansion and the sudden change it has brought in our lives. I let him free once we reach the second floor, knowing that his curious little mind will want to discover every corner he sees. So I let him be and head to the kitchen instead, which again, takes me a good five minutes to find and reach. I'm kind of starving too so I decide to make some quick and easy scrambled eggs.
"Hope?" a voice behind me calls.
I turn around to find Mateo approaching me, a big smile on his face and his arms already outstretched.
"Mat!" I shriek as I throw myself at him.
He pulls me in closer and I can't help but smile at his warmth. At the familiar scent that wraps itself around me.
"How did Jace manage to get you back here?" he asks, genuine confusion and a hint of fear lacing his tone.
I pull away from him and look up at his face.
"Did he not tell you?"
Before Mateo can open his mouth, we hear glass shattering across in the living room. Mateo runs out before me, one hand on his hip trying to free his gun while he climbs two stairs at a time. I try to catch up with him but by the time I do, we find Jonas crying near the coffee table. A vase on the coffee table has fallen down and broken into pieces. I immediately rush near it and find a little shard stuck in Jonas's foot.
"What have you done, baby?"
The words distract him enough for me to carefully put him on the couch.
"Ouch mommy," he cries, clinging to my shirt.
"Oh I know baby."
He shoves his head into my stomach as I stroke his hair, strategically extracting the glass from his foot with one hand. I hiss at myself at the pain he must be feeling when I look down at the blood dripping from his ripped skin.
"I uh—I'll get the first aid kit," Mateo says, eyes wide and face flustered.
He comes back in a flash, stumbling with each step, and I quickly clean Jonas's wound. I shouldn't have left him alone in a new place. I feel like I'm learning how to be a mother all over again and it's all because of Jace.
"That's boss's... him and you— what in the world is happening here?"
I bite my lip to hide my smile, even though a weight tugs my chest.
"He's our son," I interrupt him, a little annoyed that I admit it like that.
"Holy fucking shit. How the hell? I mean when did you—"
"Mat? I will explain everything after I get us some breakfast," I tell him, aiming to calm him down and not utter any other curses in front of Jonas.
We head back to the kitchen and I finish our eggs while elaborating everything that has happened in the last two years for Mateo. He takes it all in quietly until I finish my story, gulping and always staring at Jonas as if he's made of magic.
"Why didn't you tell me, Hope? The last time I saw you?"
I sigh, putting my fork down gently on my plate.
"Isn't it obvious, Mat? I don't want this life for him."
"Shouldn't that be his choice to make?" he challenges me.
My face sours and he cringes, just a little.
"No, it shouldn't be. Because once he gets sucked into all of this, he'll end up..."
"Dead? Or worse yet, a stone-cold asshole like boss?"
I nod. That is exactly what I'm afraid of.
"I get it. But Hope? Jonas is born into this family. It's his... destiny."
His voice is soft and gentle, but it still stirs up a storm inside me as all my fears start rising to the surface, monsters ready to strike. I'm here. I'm in New York. Jace knows about Jonas. The Wolves know about Jonas. The realization hit me like a train, scratching my nerves and cooling my blood.
"I hid him for two years," I choke out, instantly earning a shift in Mateo's face. "I could've likely continued for more if Jace hadn't showed up."
Mateo shifts closer to me as his fingers brush my hand. I let his touch warm me. Let his touch bring my heart rate back to normal.
"Sooner or later, he would've been discovered," he offers, calm and gentle. "And we have no shortage of enemies, Hope."
"I know."
Before I can say anything more, Jonas tries to pounce out of my lap. I hold onto him though, knowing that he's getting a little too ancy post breakfast around this mansion that probably hasn't been toddler-proofed yet.
"I'm assuming there are no toys around here?" I ask Mateo.
"I'll get Danny to bring some," he replies, smiling before picking up his phone.
We spend the next couple of hours playing hide and seek. Jonas and I hide while Mateo seeks. Each round takes us at least twenty minutes in this ridiculously big, maze-of-a house. On the other hand though, Mateo instantly hits it off with Jonas, joking and playing to get laughs out of each other. It even comes down to Jonas and Mateo hiding together while I seek them out.
I check all the rooms on the third floor and don't find them in any. So I make my way to the last room. Jace's room. I almost forget that I'm playing a game when I spot Cora's picture on his bedside table. All these years, I've wondered how Jace must be getting along without her. Flashes of that terrible day come racing back to my mind. Cora's bloody body and Jace's void face. My heart bled for all of them. There was nothing I wanted more than to ease his pain. To take his suffering away and give him hope of a better life. And what I said to him in LA— god. I wish I could take it back. I wish I could take it all back.
I missed him awfully when I discovered that I was pregnant. Julie would take me to hospital visits and seeing women there with their partners would bring tears to my eyes. I felt like running right back into his arms. Because when Jonas was inside of me, I felt lonely. Lonelier than I had ever been before. I was in labor for about fifteen hours. And all that pain made me delusional. At one point, I even thought Jace was standing by my bedside, holding my hand and helping me get through the contractions. But after all, it was just a delusion.
What the deepest parts inside me really want, is exceptionally impossible. Jace, Jonas, and I, can never be a family. We weren't meant for it.
"What the fuck are you doing in here?"
I turn around to see a very angry Jace glaring directly at me, eyes cold, hard, and unyielding.
"I would think your own room was comfortable enough," he grits out, walking in.
"Jace I— I was playing hide and seek."
"Excuse me?"
"Jonas, Mat, and I— uh... were all playing," I add, correcting myself.
His glare never leaves me as he finds his way around his bed, clearly looking for something.
"I'm sorry. I'll leave."
I walk straight to the door before his words stop me.
"It's a beautiful picture isn't it? Of her?"
I turn around and watch him sit on the bed now, adoring the only physical memory of his sister he has left. And my heart starts bleeding all over again.
"Yeah, it is."
I see something in him snap as his eyes soften up. His shoulders sag. I'm tired, they say. I'm so fucking tired.
"I don't remember her, you know. Not without this picture. It's like I'm forgetting her."
His voice breaks as the last of his words leave his lips. I walk a little closer to him, carefully monitoring if he'd rather be alone. But he doesn't flinch as I sit down beside him. Doesn't hiss or snarl at me as my warmth reaches him.
I can see all the pain he's been trying to hide for so long. It's eating him up alive. I owe it to him, after what I said, to give him this moment. I owe him so much more.
"Sometimes, it's okay to let go."
"But what if I don't want to let go?"
Anger has vanished from his voice, leaving nothing but his broken heart behind. I place a hand on his lap. He doesn't balk at my touch.
"Look at me," I say. He obeys, tilting his face towards me.
My heart softens at the way his eyes stare into mine, like all his pain, all his darkness, all his suffering— he allows me to see it. I cup his face with both my hands and for a second, that wall of awkward tension crumbles between us.
"She will always be with you. You don't have to remember every little detail of her face to know that."
He lies his head down on my shoulder and my heart skips a beat with surprise. I feel his tears wet my shirt. And that's when I let some of my own tears drop down too. I cry because I feel his pain. But I also cry because I missed being next to him. I missed feeling safe in his presence. I missed his fresh soapy smell. I missed running my fingers through his silky hair. But most of all, I missed how brave and beautiful he made me feel.
His neck slowly stretches again, bringing his face up to my eyes. His lips twitch, lingering only but a breath away from mine. My heart fastens with the burning in his eyes. With the desire he either feels or I imagine seeing in him for me. I don't know if I shift closer or if his body pushes to meet mine, but I find the tip of my nose touching his, our tears mingling together. I take in a shaky breath as his lips brush mine.
"Jace—"
He stops. As if he realizes something in himself, he abruptly withdraws contact with me, snapping me out of my own depressing trance. I find his scent unwrapping around me, faster and faster with every second.
"You should leave," he says sternly, turning his back to me, his voice horse from tears he's holding back.
God. I forgot how quickly this man can go from hot to cold. I wipe at my own eyes and don't waste another second to leave his room, regretting choosing to kiss him over what I actually came to do: apologize.
Mateo's closing the door of my bedroom behind him when I walk through the hallway.
"Where's Jonas?" I ask, approaching him.
"He was dozing off inside our hiding spot. So I put him on your bed."
I chuckle in his direction.
"Thanks, Mat," I tell him as I peek in through the door, just to take a quick look at my baby.
"Is boss back?" he asks me, looking down the hallway where I just came from.
I find my heart skipping a beat, not entirely sure why.
"Yeah. He's in his room."
"I'll send Danny back to the warehouse then".
"Are we going to have bodyguards twenty four seven?" I ask, defiance ringing in my voice.
Mateo frowns.
"Come on, Hope. You know it's necessary."
"Fine. As long as it's your shift, I'm good."
He chuckles before speaking again. "You're making lunch, right?"
I nod.
"I missed you for sure. But I think I missed your food more."
I smack him across his arm before we make our way down to the kitchen.
Mateo fools all around me, popping raw vegetables in his mouth and cracking jokes while I chop some onions and wipe burning tears off my face. He wriggles his nose and steps away for a bit.
"Do you know if boss got his suit fitted yet?" he asks me before eating a piece of carrot.
"Why don't you ask him yourself? Besides, why does he need yet another suit fitted for himself?"
"Luca's getting married."
I drop the knife back on the chopping board and swing around to look at him.
"What! When?"
"This Sunday."
A laugh frees itself from my throat, only interrupted by a sniff.
"Oh my god! Who's the girl?"
"He met her— I mean Sofia, at one of our clubs. She's a surgeon."
"And Jace is okay with all this?"
"He was always really pissed off and snooty around her at first. But they got along for Luca eventually."
"I'm so happy for him."
Mateo smiles at me again.
"Yeah. They're getting all their groomsmen and bridesmaids to match for the wedding."
I turn back to my onion-chopping.
"I can't imagine the pain your boss must be going through right now."
Mateo laughs wildly. God. Luca getting married. That's one thing I'm glad to be here for. Mateo's still popping another piece of carrot in his mouth as an idea forms in my mind.
"Mat? Why don't you invite Luca, his fiancé, Aiden and Luna here for dinner tonight. I'd love to congratulate the pair myself and catch up with everyone."
His dark eyes twinkle brightly, a grin forming on his face.
"Let's make it a party," he replies, grabbing his phone from the table and disappearing behind me.