Perrie's POV:
I climbed back into bed as slowly as I could with my cuppa, trying my hardest not to wake Bear up, sighing with relief when he slept on.
I'd woken up about once every hour in the night making sure he was okay. It must've been my imagination, or a dream, but I kept thinking he was in pain. It was a good job I'd cancelled rehearsals because I was knackered. I sat watching him, letting my brew go cold in my hands.
Last night I'd told him he'd saved my life the day I'd met him, and he'd got all weird and nervous again. But it was true. I know how hard it sounded but it was true. He came in that room at the signing, and I'd never seen someone look so much like they wanted to run away from me. He looked like he was there by accident. And after that I could barely stop thinking about him. This painfully shy, scared boy who I'd decided to follow on Instagram... even before I had met him for the first time there'd been something. I'd find myself thinking about him at weird times... before I went to sleep, in the studio with the girls... and now he was my boyfriend.
I'd never been so drawn to a person in my life before I'd met Bear. Not even him. And after the break-up, I was getting ready to pack up and get out. The album, the tour, then I was done. I was fed up. I was so sick of acting with everyone. I was pretending all the time; I was telling everyone I was fine now, and I was over it when I wasn't because I didn't know how to get over it.
But I'd never done that with Bear. I never had to because I knew he'd know. I knew he'd been doing the same thing for most of his life, and I found myself just being myself with him from the start, because something told me if I was unresponsive with him too, I'd lose him before I really had him. And he helped me, without even knowing it.
It still felt weird getting into a new relationship. But it was a good weird. I thought I loved my ex – I did love him – but I loved Bear more. You always think you love the person you're with more than it's possible, then someone else comes along and makes you feel it a thousand times stronger. I loved Bear so much. In fact if I thought about it too much it made me dizzy. If he woke up now and asked me to move to Iceland with him and never come back, I'd probably do it.
Because that's something else, I trusted him. Maybe not in the stay-away-from-your-psycho-ex territory... but I trusted him. I'd never thought I'd trust anyone ever again after my ex sledgehammered that part of me. But I know Bear would never do that to me. He didn't have it in him to hurt another person with what he'd been through.
Just as I turned around to put my cold cuppa down, he stirred. I sat up slowly, holding my breath.
"Pez?" He whispered.
"Yeah babe?"
He opened his eyes and smiled a little. "Just checking. Morning."
"Morning handsome." I kissed his cheek and lay on the pillow beside him. "How are you?"
"Okay... what time is it?"
"About quarter to nine."
"Have you been awake long?"
"Yeah, I got up to feed the fox."
Jakob's eyes snapped wide open. "What?!"
"Kidding!"
"Perrie, bloody hell!" He laughed.
"Sorry... I meant to say the dog. Obviously. And I got up about half an hour ago."
"And you didn't bring me a brew." He winked.
"Well it'd be cold now wouldn't it! I'll get you one in a minute. Did you sleep okay?"
"Fine, brilliant, I feel like the prince and the pea! In a good way, what about you?"
"Well, you're my prince."
"Perrieee." He groaned, covering his face as he went red. "Did you sleep well or not?"
"Fine thank you."
"Please don't tell me you didn't watch me all night like a weirdo."
"Nah course not."
"Good."
"Not all night." I smirked.
"Pez! Did you really?"
"Only a few times, to make sure you were alright."
"How could I not be alright babe, seriously?"
"Well I know what you're like. If you'd woke up in pain or needed something, you would've just gone back to sleep, even though I told you to wake me up."
"Hmmm... alright. You're a weirdo, but you're my weirdo."
"Yes I am." I giggled. "Right, I'll make you a brew then we'll have a shower, then get some breakfast, then go and see your music friend. Sound good?"
I helped Jakob sit up and he started biting his nails. "Are you really gonna make me go today?"
I took his hand and waited for him to look at me. "I'm not gonna make you do anything babe. I'll never make you do anything you don't want to do. I just think you'll regret it if you don't, that's all. Can I tell you a story?"
"Yeah?"
"The day me and the girls were meeting with label we're with now, I was as sick as a dog. Think I had food poisoning or something, but I wasn't gonna go, I was that ill. But I was so scared that they were gonna kick me out of the group if I didn't turn up, that I went and threw up on and off for four hours in their studio instead. And look where we are now, me and the girls."
"What a beautiful story." Jakob laughed.
"It's meant to be meaningful."
"It's a vomit story."
"I suppose... Oh shush it. Are you going or not?"
"I suppose I have to now."
"No you don't babe. I'm just trying to make you feel better... it's alright to be scared too you know."
"I'm not scared actually."
"No?"
"Nope. I'm actually shitting myself."
I walked around the bed and held my hands out, helping Bear stand up then holding him gently against me. "I'll be with you; I'll wait for you. How about that cuppa now?"
"Do I get some toast with it?"
"I think I can do better than that."
**
Jakob's POV:
I stood in front of Eddie's door for about ten minutes, too scared to knock, until he made me jump out of my skin when he opened it himself and nearly walked right into me.
"Jakob, hi! I was just gonna call you and see if you were still coming!"
"I just this second got here." I lied. "Are you still available or...?"
"Definitely! Like I said I was just gonna call you, come in. Erm... are you okay?"
I walked through the door and turned around as Eddie closed it. I was aware I was walking like the Tin Man, and the bruise on my face was pretty obvious.
"Yeah, I'm fine... I know what you're thinking. I know I look a state. It's a long story but I'm not some violent alcoholic who goes out at weekend at start fights-"
"I only asked if you were okay mate." Eddie grinned. "I don't think that, don't worry. But are you sure you're okay to be here?"
"Definitely... I didn't want to cancel; I didn't want you to think I was lazy or didn't care or-"
"Can I give you some advice?" Eddie pulled out a chair for me then sat opposite me, leaning forwards, and resting his chin on his fist, staring intently at me. "You shouldn't worry about what people think of you. I'm glad you still came. Are you comfortable enough there?"
"I'm fine, thanks."
"Great, just say so if you need anything... Okay well as you know I saw you on Friday night... you were insane. It takes some doing to get a crowd acting like that. I don't see that as often as I'd like."
I just smiled politely, and he grinned back. I think he knew I was nervous.
"I just thought it'd be good to meet you properly... I've seen what you can do on stage, I want to see what you can do in the studio. We're just gonna have some fun today, go crazy. Sound good?"
I had been trying to maintain eye contact, out of politeness, but I kept glancing quickly around the room at all the equipment. My fingers were practically itching.
"Yeah, sounds good! The stuff in here looks amazing."
"Oh it is." He laughed. "Anything you want to ask me before we crack on?"
"Not just now... I erm... I brought something though." I handed him the disc out of my pocket that Perrie had forced me to bring with me, threatening to come in herself and give it to him if I didn't. "It's just a mix, I dunno if you're bothered-"
Eddie straightened up and practically snatched the disc. "Brilliant! We can start with this in a sec. In the meantime..." Once again, he leaned forwards. "Let's talk music."
**
It was dark by the time I left the studio, and I felt awful calling Perrie to pick me up, even though she insisted. I hadn't meant to be in there as long as I had.
I sat on the wall by the studio and rang my dad while I waited for Perrie. I smiled when he answered, he sounded quite excited.
"Hello son! How are you? Are you feeling any better?"
"I'm doing alright, how are you?"
"Same old. Is Perrie taking care of my first born properly?"
"She's doing just fine." I laughed. "How are the others? Have they calmed down yet?"
"Not really kiddo. Alfie keeps ranting about finding out where Perrie lives and coming to shout at you. Ellie's more... quietly angry. And Maddie's not been around much."
"Oh?"
"No, she's always out these days. Should I be worried? None of you lot were like this, well Alfie was getting drunk with his friends every Friday night but... you and Ellie weren't."
"Yeah, but I was a loner and Ellie's boring." I laughed. "She gets all shy when I ask her what she's doing, I think she's seeing a boy but won't tell us."
"Hmmm, we'll have to see. Are you taking your medication?"
"Yes, Doctor Hunter." I said. "Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm enjoying the peace."
"You are coming home, though aren't you?"
"What do you mean? Of course I'm coming home. Where else would I go?"
"Well I know things have always been a bit hectic here, I wouldn't blame you if you preferred it with Perrie-"
"Dad. We're definitely not there yet. I still live with you; I'm not going anywhere."
"Well... good. Because you're the only sane one."
"Yeah right." I chuckled. "I'm sorry I left you to deal with them yesterday..."
"No, you were right to, Perrie was right. You need to be somewhere where you're going to be looked after, and it didn't look too likely here. By the way while I remember, did you see Lauren yesterday?"
"Yeah, she came for a few hours, why?"
"She left her pink jacket here, that's all."
"...When?" I frowned to myself. I couldn't remember Lauren wearing a pink jacket the night I had DJ'd, and we had gone back to my house.
"Must've been the other night when everyone was here."
"I'm sure she wasn't wearing one."
"Maybe it's been here a while and one of the girls found it, she is here a lot."
"It's definitely hers?"
"Must be, Maddie gave it to me and it's too small for Ellie."
"Okay, I'll tell her. I've got to go dad; I think I can see Perrie's car." I said, standing up and squinting at some approaching headlights flashing rapidly.
"Why? Where are you?"
"I went to that studio today... didn't I tell you?"
"Oh yes! How was it?"
"Brilliant. Tell you what? I'll ring you later tonight and tell you about it."
"Please do. And one out of three might be in then so you can have a word if you want."
"I'll try." Then something slipped out of my mouth that I never really said to my dad, but it just felt right at the moment. "Love you dad."
He paused for a second before I heard him croak. "You too kiddo, take care,"
Perrie ran around the car to me, bouncing where she stood. "So? How's it been? Did you give him the mix? What did he say?"
"Great, yes, and he was... really impressed." I grinned. "I'm coming again on Friday."
"Yaaayyy!!! You can tell me all about it on the way back. I've got a surprise for you."
"Oh?"
"Yep, come on babe. How d'you feel?"
"Sore, but I'm fine."
"I think a hot bath is in order." Perrie said, leaning across and kissing me once we were in the car.
"Hmm, sounds good. What've you been up to?"
"Oh nothing special. Come on, spill. I wanna know everything. Oh! Just before you do..." Perrie turned the radio on and selected the Bluetooth setting, cranking the volume up. She grinned at me as Paramore started blasting through the car.
"You actually listened to them?" I laughed. "What do you think?"
"They're awesome. I can't believe I've never heard of this before, and that girl, she's incredible!"
"I know right? I told you! What's your favourite?"
"Everything. This one. All of them." Perrie turned the volume even higher and started to sing along loudly.
"Wooooooaaaaahhhhhh, I never meant to brag..." She then stopped singing, skipped a few tracks, and settled on 'Emergency'. "This one! I love this one."
She started singing again and I held my ribs, laughing but in pain at the same time. "Oh god, we're gonna die in a fiery car crash if you carry on! Turn it down!"
"I'll just turn it up if you say that."
"If it gets any louder the windows are gonna smash."
"I've always wanted to try that!"
"Are you high or something?"
"I'm just happy. I missed you today."
"Aaah... I missed you too."
"Come on then! Tell me about today. Every detail."
**
When we got in, Perrie marched me straight into the front room. "Sit down, medication first."
"Something smells great."
"I hope it tastes great. Wait here."
Perrie came back in and handed me the tablets.
"So you've been cooking?"
"Yeah, and it took me hours... but get Just Eat up though in case it's a disaster."
"Awh, I'm sure it's not that bad."
Perrie gently placed her hand on my middle and I stiffened.
"Does it still hurt loads?"
"Yeah... don't look so sad, I'll be fine soon."
Perrie pulled a face and leaned in, kissing the bruise on my face. I turned my head and caught her lips.
"Love you." I murmured.
"Love you." She grinned back, taking my hand to help me up. "Time for food. I've done a chicken Korma."
"Oh no... Perrie, I'm allergic to the sauce,"
"No way, you're joking me!"
"yeah." I sniggered. "Couldn't resist. Come on, I'm starving."
"You are so getting tickled to death when you're better... I was gonna cry then... Look, I burnt my thumb today and everything!"
I took the hand she was sticking out and studied the angry red mark on the back of her thumb. "Have you put anything on it?"
"Yeah, bloody boiling hot water."
"Very funny... You should have it covered."
"Never mind it now... kiss it better?" She pouted. I did so then leaned in to kiss her lips.
"You gonna feed me now?"
"If I must."
**
"So I've got a couple of things to tell you." Perrie said through a mouthful of Ben & Jerry's. We had finished eating and were feeding each other spoonful's of chocolate ice cream across the table.
"Good things or bad things?"
"Erm... I dunno if bad is the right word... I don't wanna bring you down after today but I don't wanna keep it from you either."
"You're scaring me a bit now. Are you okay?"
"Course, there's nothing wrong with me. It's about Lacey."
I pushed the ice cream away, instantly feeling my cheerfulness ebb away. Perrie dragged her chair around so she was next to me and placed her hand on my arm.
"Your fingers are freezing." I smiled. "Go on then... let's have it."
"She got sent down."
"What?! How do you know that?"
"Your dad went to the trial... not long after you came back here with me yesterday. Then he called to tell me."
"I can't believe this. I was talking to him like two hours ago-"
"We agreed I'd pick the right time babe, we didn't wanna throw it at you after everything-"
"So who else knew?"
"Lauren." Perrie cringed slightly at the look on my face. "Please don't be upset babe, we wanted to do what's best for you."
I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes. "So... she's gone?"
"She's got twenty months." Perrie whispered.
I didn't say anything. Was that it?
"Apparently her defence was that she's mentally unstable. I don't really know how it works, but she be up for parole after a year."
"So it might not even be twenty months."
"... No. But there are conditions, whether she gets out then or does the full whack, she's not allowed near you or your family ever again. There's a restraint order saying she's not allowed within a certain amount of miles of you... if she breaks it, she's straight back inside for five years."
"I should've applied for one in the first place..."
"Probably babe, but they can take a long time to go through... you know what? She's gone now, that's the main thing, right?"
"Do you really think she is though? I'm not saying I'm not over the moon because I am... it just seems weird that something's gone right... sort of. It doesn't seem she got long enough."
"Definitely not." Perrie scoffed. "Fucking judge must have been on crack. If I had my way... well, prison would be the least of her worries for sure. Hey, look at me." Perrie leaned closer and gently stroked my bruised face. "No matter what happens with her, it's not your problem anymore. And I need you to know, I don't care what I'd have to do but if she gets out in a year or two or whatever, I'd kill her before she gets anywhere near you."
I chuckled and shook my head. Perrie just raised her eyebrows.
"You think I'm joking babe, but I mean it, and I'm not the only one. What happens next is up to you."
"What do you mean?"
"Forget about her."
"I did and she came back."
"That's not gonna happen this time. Don't let her be that big black cloud hanging over your life anymore."
"Stop being so cheesy." I smiled. "You're right, I know. It's just... not gonna be easy, it'll take... well, at least as long as the bruises last. It's not gonna feel right not worrying about her popping up all the time."
"Come on." Perrie said, standing up and holding her hands out. "Time for that bath."
"Shouldn't we wait half an hour or something?"
"Yeah... okay, go and watch Netflix for a bit and give me some time... I'm gonna be cheesy for a bit longer."
"What are you on about?"
"Wait and see. Get lost."
"Nice! I said I'd ring my dad again anyway, so I'll do that."
"I'll catch you later then." Perrie winked, heading up the stairs while I went into the front room.
"Oh one more thing."
"Yeah babe?"
"Was that all you had to tell me? You said there were a couple of things."
"Yeah, just little things... It can wait."
"Good or bad?"
"Good."
"I'll wait then."
"You didn't have a choice." Perrie laughed. "I'll come get you soon."
"Yes mistress."
"Oi, don't say that!"
"Why not?"
"I might get to like it."
"You're such a loser..."