❝suffer. you could say it means endure, but that's not exactly right.❞
cadence sinclair eastman, we were liars
☾
As I expected, sleep never came for me, but the fog did. It crept in slowly, weaving itself between the trees, covering every square inch of the mossy ground like a carpet. I was already alert, sitting up and tracing the edge of my scythes when Katniss and I noticed it. We exchanged similar looks of caution. Katniss reached out to touch the fog, and I readied my small knife for whatever was going to emerge from it. But then her fingers seared red and bubbled, and the scream that she emitted made me realize that there was no weapon in the fog. The fog was the weapon.
Everdeen's scream was enough to wake the other two up. Finnick immediately raised his trident, but I grabbed him and pulled him out of the shelter before he could realize there was no target. Katniss and Peeta ran close ahead of us, while we ran behind, covering their backs. The fog moved quickly, curling at our feet. When it wrapped around my ankle I screamed, and Finnick gripped my hand to drag me faster. The fog must've closed in on their side, because I could hear cries of agony come from both of them.
I quickly darted my vision to Peeta, who was struggling to keep up. He seemed to slightly limp, his leg dragging just a bit. Shit. I forgot about his prosthetic limb. I let go of Finnick's wrist and run over to the struggling pair. Katniss seemed to have the same idea I did, swinging his right arm around her neck as I did with his left.
The fog stayed right on our tail; whisps of it burned the back of my neck and my arms. I could feel my movements become more sluggish with every sting. My blood pounded in my ears as we ran, death trailing us. I cried out, and my pain seemed to harmonize with my allies. Finnick stayed just the tiniest bit ahead of us, trying to find a way out while the three of us supported each other.
"My . . . face—" Peeta called. I turned to him and was startled by the sight of his entire left side of his face sagging. I cringed at the sight of the limp skin, bubbled and red.
I didn't understand why his skin was reacting that way until Katniss cried out, "The nerves! It's targeting our nerves!"
Makes sense. The arm supporting Peeta had begun to lose feeling as well. It was just my hand holding onto his wrist that kept him supported on my side. Everything burned.
Then the fog started closing in on us on both sides. Katniss cried out as the fog enveloped her shoulder. I tried to hold back a scream of my own, as pain shot up my left leg. I stopped myself from screwing my eyes shut in agony. Peeta's weight was too much.
He took a gruesome fall as his prosthetic limb became almost completely useless. We both fell with him, and the fog came over us. This time, I did scream, and the acid seeped into my mouth, closing up my throat and searing me from the inside out.
"Get up!" Finnick yelled. "We have to keep moving, come on! Let me take Peeta—Pallas you gotta let go so I can take him!"
I hated to admit it to myself, but I wasn't strong enough, or tall enough to continue supporting Peeta. So I didn't argue with Finnick as he leaned over to grab Peeta's arm. I rolled away and forced myself off my feet. Katniss and Finnick both lifted Peeta up with groans. I could see his skin bubbling up from where I was standing. I took my scythes from my sheaths and cut a path out of the jungle. The fog seemed to slow in front of us barely, like a path being lit up out of here.
But just as the thought passed, a wall of fog shot from the left, and I stumbled, rolling back on my shoulder. One of my scythes was left to the fog in the process, and I had to leave it behind. Despite everything and all the chaos, I felt a way of irritation flow through me at the loss of my scythe. There was a spark of grief somewhere in there, but I didn't have time to consider it. As I pushed up from the ground, I pushed down whatever feeling distracted me.
I slashed through the vegetation with as much strength as I could, which wasn't saying much with the nerve disruptions in both my arms. My jaw clenched shut in the wake of all the pain. Every step sapped strength out of me with little control over where my feet went. I used what little control I had left of my body to sheathe my lone scythe, feeling my hands and arms spasm out of control.
Katniss cried out and fell. The fog was increasing on her side. Finnick and Peeta paused for a moment, and Peeta tried reaching out for the girl, But I shoved them forward.
"Go!" I screamed. Finnick dragged Peeta off as I took Katniss.
"No," she croaked, "leave me. Save Peeta."
If I had the energy I would've rolled my eyes, despite feeling respect for the decision.
"Shut up and keep moving," I said and lifted her up, despite every muscle in my body screaming at me.
"No—"
I grabbed her chin so that we were directly in each other's line of vision, nothing else. "I'm not leaving you behind."
She nodded weakly and forced her legs to move. We supported each other as we followed Peeta and Finnick away from the fog. We got a little farther before The four of us tumbled down an unforeseen hill. I let go of Katniss as I rolled down. In my tumble, a sharp rock or twig or something cut me near my eye. My head lolled to the side where my allies laid, spasming out like me. Finnick's eyes were closed, and I could see the name on his lips between his heaves for air. Annie.
I saw the fog fall down the hill, almost about to reach us, and I realized this was it. I was going to die, and the rebellion was over. The fog inched closer and I swear I could see Lucas reaching out to me in the thick haze. I think I passed out from the pain because the world went black.
I'm coming home.
I woke up in a splash of saltwater. The moment the water made contact with my blistering skin, I screamed. Water spilled into my mouth, and it seared into the burns inside my throat as well until I choked on it. Hands turned me over so I could spit the water out, then submerged me once more. My entire body burned in pain again, like someone branding me with a hot iron, and I thought I might pass out again, but then the pain subsides—even the first pain caused by the fog. The hands let go of me as I completely submerged my face in the water, this time welcoming the burn, and the pain eventually resided, leaving nothing but dull aches and the stinging cut from my tumble down the hill.
I sat up from the shallow water and opened my eyes, not bother to wipe away the saltwater that stings. Katniss was the first one I saw—she must've been the one to pull me into the water. Finnick was resting a few meters away, surrounded by some milky substance. He seemed to be fine. I looked down at myself and I was surrounded by the same, and even more so, the bubbles on my skin had faded away. I tested out my fingers, curling them one by one into a fist. I sighed in relief. The nerve damage was only temporary.
I looked back to Katniss and nodded at her. "Thanks."
"Same to you." She splashes a bit more water onto the back of her neck, wincing when the pain flashes. "You saved my life."
For a moment, I laid my hand on the water. Just for a tiny, moment of peace. I reached for my scythes, but when I could only pull one out from their sheathes, I remembered I had lost it in the fog. Wait—the fog.
"What happened? How are we still alive."
"I don't know," Katniss admitted. "The fog just . . . stopped. It was coming at us one minute and then it just couldn't travel any further, like an invisible wall or something had prevented it from coming any closer."
"Oh." I wondered if that was Plutarch's doing. Surely that was too obvious? I decided to pocket the thought for later. Then I asked, "Where's Peeta?"
Katniss leaned out of my line of sight and pointed to a nearby tree. He was holding a hollowed-out log, collecting water from the spile. But that's not what caught my eye. Katniss and I exchanged alert glances. Finnick noticed our careful stances and followed our line of sight, prompting him to rise out of the water as well. I hadn't noticed it before, but he'd lost one of his own tridents, leaving him with the net and two last tridents which he gripped in each hand.
I twisted around to find us completely surrounded by large monkeys. I noted their sharp claws and teeth baring out of their orange mouths. My blood ran cold. I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to focus. With only one scythe, I carefully reassembled it so that the javelin side was on the end, enabling a double-ended weapon.
"Peeta," Katniss called. Her voice was steady, but I was sure Peeta could hear the alarm in her voice. "Walk over here. Slowly."
Mellark froze for a second, then adhered to Katniss's call. He lifted his head to turn and meet her eyes but instead triggered an explosion. He accidentally made eye contact with one of the monkeys, creating a chain effect as monkeys screamed and rained down on us from the trees.
The switch in my brain flipped on in an instant, letting instinct overrule almost all else. I had to remember that Mellark and Girl on Fire were the priority here, but I knew they could hold their own. The shore was in sight. We just had to get there, to a clearer path, maybe get to the island. The monkeys would be forced to narrow down in order to travel on the rock strips.
A monkey lashed out at Katniss, but Mellark slaughtered it in one fatal swoop. A flash of orange fur came at me from the side, and I stabbed it with the end of my scythe. I was the first to switch positions, racing through the shallow water to get to Finnick. Mellark did the same with Katniss, and we both stood back to back with our counterparts.
I felt much more comfortable and in control like this, knowing exactly how to work with Finnick's fighting style. It's probably because Finnick fought like me, learning how to fight in the same district (the fact that Amos and Finnick were taught by the same people and I was taught by both may have something to do with it).
He swiped at one of the monkey's slashing and then stabbing with his trident while I covered his back, making large arcs with my scythe to keep them back. If one of them reach the water I flipped my blade and stabbed without hesitation.
One monkey took Mellark by surprise, sending him crashing into the water. I rushed over, my movements were still swift in the water despite feeling so sluggish. Adrenaline was pumping through my veins. I took the curved end of my blade and impaled the feral creature, swinging the scythe to propel it off Baker Boy.
I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the water. "We need to get to the beach!" I called out to the others as I sliced open another monkey. One came at me from the side—its thick talons raked my side. I cried out in agony. Thankfully, Mellark killed it with his sword before it could attack me again.
The monkeys' assault held no organization. They just launched at us wherever there was an opening, easily tiring us out. Every strike required a desperate breath for air. I could taste blood in my mouth from all the splashes in the water. They're stronger and faster than what I'd learned about regular monkeys.
"Mutts!" Katniss yelled out somewhere near Mellark. Of course. I didn't understand why the thought hadn't occurred to me sooner. Fighting them would be pointless; running was our best bet at getting out alive.
A mutt knocks Mellark's sword out of his hand, lost in the water. So we're just losing weapons left and right now huh? Before I could toss him one of my weapons, a blur of orange fur comes at me. One moment I was on my feet, and the next I was underwater, fighting off the sharp teeth of a monkey. Its weight crushed my chest as I struggled to get up for air. I felt one of Everdeen's fallen airs near my hand as I grappled for a weapon to knock it off. I took the arrow and pierced the monkey through its eye. I shoved the monkey off without hesitation and gasped for air the moment my head popped up from the surface.
The others were still fighting. Finnick and Everdeen seemed to hold their own, but my concern was Mellark. A mutt had cornered him near a tree, and the only thing left to defend him was a small dagger. I found my sword near the shore and slashed at another mutt before getting ready to throw my javelin at the one about to launch itself at Mellark. Before I could let go of the weapon, something hurled itself at the mutt. Oh hell.
A Morphling fell to the ground, pierced in the chest by a mutt's claws, and she had just sacrificed her life for Peeta. For the alliance and the rebellion.
Peeta's eyes widened a fraction before slashing the monkey back and stabbing it once more for good measure. He kicked the mutt away and stood over the morphling, shouting, "Come on, then! Come out!"
The rage in his voice shocked me. I'd never imagined seeing Peeta so angry. He glared at the monkeys, daring them to come closer and see what happens to them. I waded through the water to go over to him, reconnecting my two weapons so that I had one large scythe again. I swung it back in a large arch near Peeta as Katniss and Finnick stood crouched next to each other, bow and trident at the ready and breaths heavy. But the monkeys had stopped. They didn't launch at us any longer, and instead passively stayed in the positions.
I didn't question it, instead telling Peeta to grab the woman and get to the beach. He picked her up gently, effortlessly, and paused to look at Katniss.
"Go. We'll cover you," she assured him.
We crossed the last few yards to the beach without any troubles. The monkeys had purely vanished, pulled back like guard dogs on a leash. Still, Finnick and I stayed vigilant with our bodies towards the jungle as Katniss and Peeta tended to the Morphling on the sane behind us. I couldn't see any more monkeys, but the blood had wafted into my nose and stuck to my suit, along with patches of random fur. I crinkled my nose in disgust as I gripped my scythe for another surprise attack.
"I'm gonna grab Katniss's arrows. You stay here," Finnick said.
I nodded then said, "Be careful."
He sent me a two-fingered salute before trekking back into the jungle, trident at the ready. I could still see his figure through the foliage as he pulled arrows from the dead carcasses. My grip on my scythe was tight and ready to be put into use in case the monkeys came back for more.
I heard the tear of fabric behind me, and my eyesight shifted to the group behind me. I had been trying to ignore them if I was being honest. But I couldn't help but find out what damage the monkey had done to my fellow Victor. Blood tricked from four puncture wounds in the woman's chest. If it weren't for her labored breathing and wild eyes, clinging to Peeta's, I would've said she had been dead for days.
It was the effects of morphling. With solemn understanding, I looked to her, knowing exactly why. All those riches from being a Victor, and she turned it away for more morphling. It must've quieted it. All of it. The mind is a fickle thing, and there's seldom peace or quiet in it after the games.
Every Victor deals with it their own way. I compartmentalized everything. I never let myself feel all of it—especially my rage. And this morphling dealt with it using morphling. I felt sorry for her.
Peeta knelt in the sand beside her, and Katniss was clutching the morphling's hand in hers. Peeta spoke to her in a gentle voice as she was dying, talking about the simplest things. The morphling hung onto every word he spoke.
I wondered how Peeta could be so gentle with someone. Even in this situation. To find compassion for someone so easily. Peeta didn't even know her.
"One time, I spent three days mixing paint until I found the right shade for sunlight on white fur," said Peeta. The words were just about random things like paint and colors, but he spoke so tenderly and so softly that I could feel it. "You see, I kept thinking it was yellow, but it was much more than that. Layers of all sorts of color. One by one."
I turned back, unable to watch her die like this. Peeta continued to speak to her until the morphling took her last breath. I could hear the choked wheeze, and then the thump of her hand as she went limp. The canon sounded loudly throughout the arena, signaling another life lost to the arena for Snow's sick little game.
• • •
pallas: *grabs katniss's face aggressively*
katniss: *shocked pikachu face* yes ma'am
GUYS I POSTED ANOTHER CHAPTER LOOK—tbh this chapter really was just nothing but GO GO GO but STILL HAHAHA (plus this fatty 3k words which kinda a lot compared to the other chapters here)
also johanna's popping up in the next chapter and y'all are just not ready for johallas content because together these bitches are the absolute WORST in the best way possible.
this chapter was also very much just me trying to get through it because there was virtually no break between the fog and the monkey hours which i realize Sucks™ because they just got their legs to work again and suddenly they're fighting waves of baboon butt mutts with all their strength! my dear god jesus christ.
btw i read we were liars a couple days ago in only like two hours and i am in PIECES. FUCKING PIECES, MAN. god oh my god that book ruined me. if u haven't read it i HIGHLY suggest you do!! like now.