Draco stands under the pouring rain. It pelts him relentlessly and mixes with his salty tears. He hadn't even realized he had been shedding them, but they fall freely.
He takes a step forward. And another, and another until he is right outside the door.
His hand goes up, but it remains there, frozen. He's unable to knock. His breath halts as his fingers begin to shake. Blood rushes unbearably loud in his ears as he stares at the door.
He stares at it and stares at it and stares at it. And the rain continues to fall on him. His hand continues to shake, and time continues to pass as he stands there.
He fucked up. Badly.
Draco might lose him. Forever.
Forever is so horribly permanent. It's so achingly final, and he can't stand it.
It's been hell. He's spent every minute of their time apart stewing in regret. He sent letter after letter. Call after call. He apparated to location after location, but Harry had so completely disappeared that it was impossible to find him.
Draco tore through his apartment in a rage. He wasn't even aware of it. He wasn't himself as he destroyed his furniture and shredded his linens.
Draco had gone on a walk to clear his head, and Harry was gone when he got back. His mind had run wild when he had the time to himself. It had gone crazy with happy endings and tender kisses. His mind bled with possibilities as the air played with his hair.
The blonde strands whipped against his cheeks and tried to anchor him back to reality as he dreamed of tomorrow. He was on his way back when it occurred to him. What an utter dumbarse he was being.
But Harry was already gone.
He was selfish. He was scared-
The door opens.
All thoughts flee his mind as he freezes in place. Harry hums to some music and turns around. He doesn't even notice Draco standing there in the pouring rain. The darkness and the water falling from the sky must shield his presence from view.
Draco can barely breathe as he watches Harry go back into his house, still not noticing the blond's presence. Harry softly sings as he lifts a heavy box. He grunts at the weight of it before resuming his tune.
Draco can't help but stare. He's entranced. The activity is so inherently mundane, and yet it feels so intimate. It feels just for him—like no one else gets to see it.
Draco's mouth goes dry. Harry moves towards him like he's stuck in Draco's gravitational pull.
And then Harry's eyelashes flutter upwards, and they finally catch sight of Draco standing there. His eyes widen as Draco's shoulders rise and fall rapidly. Time slows as they stare at each other.
The world tilts, and Draco feels dizzy as Harry's eyes scrutinize him and pull him apart. And then the box slips, and Draco watches it fall. It falls so slowly. Draco can't get to it fast enough despite the slow speed at which it falls to the floor.
Harry yelps as it hits his toes, and the tension snaps like a rubber band. He jumps up and down, and curses pour from his lips.
Draco flinches. He tries to reach out but then thinks better of it and retracts his hand.
"I'm sorry, I should have said something. I shouldn't have surprised you." Draco offers a lame apology.
"You fucking think?" Harry sneers, and Draco recoils. Harry sits down on the edge of the box and rubs his foot. "Fuck," he gasps, "that bloody hurt." Harry looks down and examines his foot.
The awkward silence presses in on them, and Draco clears his throat to cut the tension. "What were you doing?" Draco looks behind Harry to see a few more boxes littered around.
"Taking out the trash," Harry bites.
Draco's eyes search for any tidbit of information as to what the boxes contain. One of them is not taped all the way, and Hogwarts uniforms and other things can be seen. Draco frowns. That doesn't seem like garbage to him.
His eyes go back to Harry as Harry inhales through his teeth and examines the bruise forming on his foot. He pulls out his wand.
"Here, let me help you." Draco reaches towards him but halts at Harry's voice.
"Don't." Harry looks up with watery eyes. "Please don't."
Draco's heart drops.
"I'm sorry."
Harry's lip trembles. He stares at him warily, guardedly.
"Don't do this to me, Draco. Don't get my hopes up." Harry pulls his own wand out and heals his foot.
Draco splinters internally. He never meant to hurt him like this. He only ever wants the best for Harry, and instead, he continued to hurt him. He caused him unbearable pain, and it tears him apart.
"I never meant for this to happen I-"
"Well, it did," Harry says harshly.
They slip back into an uncomfortable silence, and it weighs heavy. He can feel it in his chest. And then the silence is sliced through by a laugh. Harry giggles, and Draco's head snaps up to meet him.
"I did what you said, Draco!" Harry says emphatically. His eyes glaze over as humorless laughter bubbles up from his throat. "I moved on! I did, and you were right! I was fucking happy without you in my life! And now you've come to wreck everything I built once again because you only love me when it's convenient for you." Harry laughs as tears dribble down his face. He looks manic as he goes on and on.
"That's—That's not true. You know it's not."
"You don't really love me, Draco. You think you do." A smile plays across Harry's face. "You only love me sometimes, and I deserve better. I deserve all the time. Don't you think?"
"Yes." It comes out faster than he can think. "You deserve the world. You deserve all of me. Take it, Harry. I'm yours."
This time, Harry flinches.
"You're just saying that, Draco." Harry sighs, and his foot drops. "You say that now. But what about tomorrow? What about in a year? Ten? Will you still want me? Will you always want me? All of me? I deserve someone who wants all of me."
"I'll take anything you give me, Harry," Draco says. The tears pool in his eyes as well. "I'll always want all of you, but I understand if you don't want that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I was such a terrible fool—"
"Stop. Just shut up. I don't want to hear it," Harry's fists clench with rage.
"You need to hear it, Harry." Draco can't stand this. He can't stand the animosity between them, the misunderstandings. The years of back and forth and missed opportunities. So much time has been wasted, and he can't handle it anymore. "It's the truth, and you have to hear it."
Harry jumps up, and Draco startles in surprise. He crowds his space and shoves him. Draco stumbles backwards and almost falls into the mud. The rain touches him like a welcomed old friend.
"NO! I DON'T!" Harry yells. His body shakes with anger and emotion. "I don't have to listen to whatever little speech you have rehearsed. I don't have to." The anger drains in front of Draco's eyes, and Harry's body just trembles. "I don't have to," he whimpers weakly.
Draco steps towards Harry, and Harry steps backwards.
"Don't," Harry breathes as his eyes flit up and down Draco's lithe figure. "Please don't. I can't handle it again. I can't handle this again. Please don't do this to me."
Draco halts. Harry trembles, and Draco wants to hold him in his arms and never let him go.
"Harry I-"
"I- I can't go through it again. This keeps happening to me, and I can't handle heartbreak anymore, Draco! I think I'm dying." Harry struggles to take in oxygen as he looks at him. "Please." His voice dwindles to nothing as his eyes water with unshed tears.
And then they are pressed tightly together as Draco's arms wrap around him. Harry freezes beneath him, and Draco can feel his body quiver and shake from everything that has happened.
"W-what are you doing?" Harry asks breathlessly.
"I don't know," Draco responds honestly. All he knows is that he wants a million more hugs like this. He wants to hold Harry and know that's he's real. He wants to protect him and talk to him and make cookies with him. He wants to get a plant together and a cat together. He wants to get a house together.
Draco wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
Harry's arms hang limply by his side as Draco continues to hold him.
"You're getting me all wet," Harry mumbles into Draco's shirt.
"I don't care." Draco squeezes him even tighter. He breathes Harry in like he'll never be able to again. "Hug me back, please," Draco demands softly, and he can feel Harry debate it. He can feel Harry's walls chipping away, his guard slowly coming down the longer Draco holds him.
His arms tentatively wrap around Draco, and Draco sighs. He loves him so much it hurts.
"I missed you," Harry says, and it's muffled as he buries his head in Draco's soaked shirt. "Merlin, I've missed you so fucking much."
"I missed you too," Draco whispers. "So much." He can't remember the last time he hugged someone, or was hugged by someone, maybe never. It feels so good to have someone's arms wrapped around you. He feels all warm and fuzzy inside and it makes him forget about all of their problems as they hold each other.
"I'm so sorry Harry. So unbelievably sorry," he says into Harry's hair.
"I know."
"I'll never hurt you again."
"I know."
"I love you."
"I know."
"Will you ever forgive me?"
A pause. A release of breath. He can feel it against his shoulder, like a sigh that had been held in for too long.
"I- I don't know."
His heart sinks. And then a shuddered inhalation against his shoulder.
"But, I want to try." Draco inhales softly. "I want to try." Draco tries to not let his hope bloom. But Harry's words seem to have a double meaning and it's making him go mad. Hope is a dangerous thing.
They stay like that for a while as the rain slows to a light sprinkle and then to a dusting, and then it ceases. Then Harry pulls away, and Draco refrains from groaning in annoyance.
"If we do this, you have to promise me something, Draco." Draco's eyes go wide in surprise. He wasn't expecting what Harry just said in the slightest.
"Anything," Draco breathes out. Harry pauses and looks at him nervously, like he's debating going through with it.
"Don't let me forget you."
"Never."
He looks at Harry, like— really looks at him and everything just sort of fades out. Harry's hands move up and swipe the slick hair off Draco's face. Draco chuckles softly and grabs his hand. He presses his lips to the back of it and Harry tucks Draco's hair behind his ear.
Then Harry smiles and Draco almost evaporates. His eyes trace the curve of Harry's lips and the sparkle of moisture that lays there tauntingly. Harry laces their fingers together and Draco pulls him out from under the awning into the sun that is peaking out from behind the clouds.
Harry squints and points at a rainbow that can be seen in the distance. Draco watches Harry's expression of joy as he sees it. He could get lost watching Harry.
Harry tugs him towards the rainbow and a conveniently placed bench is aimed perfectly at the scenery. Harry plops himself down in it and Draco follows. Their hands are still clasped and Harry's fingers fidget in his.
He can feel the thump of Harry's head against his shoulder as he smiles at the rainbow. Draco switches hands and wraps one around Harry and tucks him in closer.
They still have a long way to go, Draco knows that. They still have to work on themselves and each other. They can't get stuck in old patterns and unhealthy times. But Draco knows that this time it really will work out. He can feel it in his heart, because Harry is the only one for him. And he is the only one for Harry.
No matter what they've been through, or what they may face, they will always come out the other side, better than ever. And they'll be together, and that's what matters most.
Today is not the time to worry or stress. It's for watching the rainbow replace the dark stormy weather. What a perfect little metaphor. Draco chuckles.
Harry nudges his head into Draco's neck and kisses the skin lightly there. Draco shivers and turns to look at him. Harry looks content, no frown, no crease between his brows, just a sweet smile that's only for Draco.
I'll love you forever, Draco thinks as he leans in.
...THE END...
Author's Note:
It just kind of felt like an ending when I was writing it. I know it's not perfect and doesn't tie up all the loose ends but never fear because there will be an epilogue. :)
Ahhhh omggg, we're so close to completing this book! If you enjoyed, please and vote and comment, it means the world. I'll include my final thoughts and thank you's after the epilogue.
Also sorry it took so long, I've literally had the worst most stressful week ever and to top it all off I'm on crutches now lol because long story short my foot got jumped on and now it's black and hurts really badly yayyy
Anyways, thanks loves <3