October 1997
Destiny has been staying with us for a month now. Nobody besides from Ms. Ngan knows she's here, and Ms. Ngan won't tell anyone. She's probably the only person here that I fully trust.
She isn't loyal to the triad or to Zhishan. She's just a teacher. She's simple. Destiny, on the other hand, isn't so simple. I killed her father, but she still doesn't know. What I don't know is why I treat her different from others. Why I care so much about her.
After another long 'training session' with Chien, I go back to my room. Chien and I told Zhishan we were training, but we were actually just watching movies and eating popcorn.
I enter my room and fall on the bed extremely hard. "Aauw." I hear from under my bed.
Destiny appears from underneath. "What was that for?"
I don't reply, I just laugh. She takes a pillow and throws it at me. I easily dodge it. Playing along, I take a pillow too and throw it at her. Which she catches.
A pillow fight breaks loose. She always seems to catch the pillows, but I do manage to hit her in the face with them a couple of times. Just like she threw a couple of pillows into my face.
In between our giggles, I manage to tackle her and throw three pillows at her. But once I get too close, she tackles me and I fall on top of her. The giggles stop and our faces are now only two inches apart.
Her raven colored hair is spread out on the floor and her dark eyes are even darker than usual. Almost dangerous. But it's her lips that catch my attention. They look so soft and sweet.
I can't help but bring my face closer to hers. Her eyes widen, but she doesn't pull away. Instead she takes my ponytail in her hand, directing my lips towards hers.
My brain stops functionning, but somehow I know exactly what to do. I close my eyes and let her lips touch mine. The moment it happens, I feel a spark through my whole body. The only thing I want is for this moment to last forever.
But the moment I pull back to breath, reality hits me. I just kissed someone for the first time. And it wasn't a boy, it was a girl. That she's a girl isn't that bad, but I killed her dad. That's bad. I quickly stand up and stumble backwards.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
I want to answer her, but the words refuse to leave my mouth.
Since she doesn't get an answer, she guesses. "You never kissed a girl before?"
"I never kissed anyone before."
Her eyes widen now too. This is when I realise, I can't do this. I have to tell her the truth. I have to scare her actually. If she runs to the police, I'm in big trouble.
"I need to tell you something." It's barely a whisper, but she heard it.
"You're not gay?"
I shake my head. "I don't know and it doesn't matter. It's something else." I pat the spot next to me on my bed. She sits down.
"You're gonna hate me after I tell you this, but you can't go to the police. They'll kill you if you do. Are you sure you want me to tell you?"
Shock takes over her features as she moves away from me a little, but she doesn't back down. "Yes. Tell me what?"
"Your dad. I killed him." Those words are easier to say than I expected. It doesn't mean that I enjoyed saying them though.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm Lotus."
First her facial expression is just plain shock. That's all. Than suddenly she shoots into action. I do the same, because the action is directed towards me. What I didn't expect was for the action to be a hug. She's hugging me.
I'm not sure what to do now. Should I hug her back? Should I push her away? Should I bring her to a mental institution?
The latter may sound a bit drastic, but it becomes more reasonable when she whispers: "Thank you."
---
-Present-
We're gathered on the bridge, stuck in space. Egghead is heard over the comms. "Sara, you have to power down every non-essential piece of hardware on the ship."
"Gideon is already shut down." She replies. "Waverider is using gravitational inertia to float back to earth."
We all give her a suprised look. "What? I know science." She says.
Then Egghead is heard again. "It ins't enough. If you want to activate the heat shields and survive re-entry, you have to conserve more power now."
Grim Reaper agrees. "Stein's right. We need to shut down the water filtration and the heating systems."
I scoff. "Clean water and heat, we don't need those to survive."
"You have a better idea?" Amaya asks.
"Right now? No."
"Well, bundle up, 'cause it's about to get chilly." Sara says.
But grandpa Heywood puts an end to that idea. "Actually, if the shields don't work, atmospheric re-entry'll burn us all to a crisp."
Nate rests his head on the table. "Science."
"What if we just shut down the water filtration?" I ask.
"Only one way to find out." Sara replies, pressing a couple buttons on the control panel.
"Heat shields, activated." The screen reads.
"That's a good start." Haircut says with his usual optimism.
Reaper leaves to something, we all sit down in the chairs. Sara turns to Egghead through the comms. "Stein, we're ready for re-entry."
"What's the status of your secondary thrusters?" He asks.
"It's sporadic." She responds. "She's still got a couple pushes left in her. Just need to point her in the right direction."
"There's been a rather interesting development down here on the ground." Egghead says.
My brother appears on the comms now too. "Nate, are you there?"
"Yeah, Mick, what's up?" He replies.
"There's some kid in Mission Control calling himself Hank Heywood." Chucky tells him.
Nate turns to his grandfather. "That's your son." He realises.
Grandpa explains. "I fixed an essay contest so Hank would win. I should've told you earlier. I had to meet him."
Reaper enters again. "Well, our guidence system failed to power back up."
"Can we enter the atmosphere without it?" Amaya asks.
"We need to figure out a re-entry angle." Haircut replies.
Old Heywood explains further. "If it's too steep, the ship will burn up. If it's too shallow, we'll bounce off the atmosphere and go into orbit around the sun."
Sara turns to professor egghead. "Stein, little help here."
"I'm working as fast as I can. But I need a supercomputer, which is not readily available in 1970."
Haircut suddenly shoots up. "We have a supercomputer."
I know what he's talking about and I don't like it. "Haircut don't-"
He's already running away, so I follow him. We go towards the brig, where Thawne is leaning against the glass. Haircut doesn't even get the chance to ank his question, because Thawne already answers him. "38 degrees."
"You don't even know my question." Haircut points out.
Turns out he does. "At what angle do we need to re-enter the Earth's atmosphere? 38 degrees. I'm from the 22nd century, I've learned astro-navigation in grade school. 38 degrees. Or don't you trust me?"
I give him a fake smile. "I don't."
Haircut is already running towards the bridge. I give Thawne one last glance and run after him. Once we get there, he says: "The re-entry angle needs to be 38 degrees."
"How do you know?" Reaper asks. He doesn't even wait for an answer, because he already knows. "Thawne."
"He wants to get back to Earth. Same as the rest of us." Haircut says.
Amaya doesn't trust him. "So that we can kill us when we land."
Nate doesn't either. "I'm with Amaya, grudgingly. I don't trust him."
Even the old Heywood doesn't. "Agreed."
I'm not sure if we have a choice though...
Sara tapps on her comms. "Professor Stein, does 38 degrees sound right to you?"
He isn't much help though. "It could be, but without more time I can't be certain."
Reaper becomes frustrated. "We haven't got any time. Someone needs to make a decision."
We all stare at each other for a while, wondering what to do now. Until Grim Reaper turns to Sara. "Ms. Lance. You're the Captain."
And Sara turns to me. "Kate, do you trust Thawne about this, after everything that he's done?"
I think about my answer for a while. He has repeatedly tried to kill us and he can lie like nobody else. I mean he had everyone believing he's Harrison Wells for years...
But then I remind myself of what I'd do in his position. If I were on the ship of my enemies and about to die with them, I would want to save myself. At all cost. As a 'villain' there's no moral code to live up to. You just do what you have to do to survive.
Which is what Thawne is doing now. So I answer: "I do."
Sara turns to Grim Reaper. "Then I trust Kate and Ray. Let's go."
We all sit down again. "Stein, we're a go for re-entry." Sara tells Egghead.
The moment we're all sitting, Sara flies us right into the Earth's atmosphere. "If we don't adjust the angle, we'll burn up." Haircut points out.
"The thrusters are toast." Sara says.
Nate throws in some positive thoughts. "In a few seconds we're all gonna be toast."
"We need to blow the cargo bay door." Reaper realises.
"What?" Sara asks.
Egghead agrees with the guy. "He's right. The depressurization will correct your angle of descent."
Even I know that's a bad idea. "That's too much air pressure. You open the door, you die."
Reaper is being his noble self. "I'll go."
Sara disagrees. "No. I'm Captain. I'll go."
My head shoots up at this. "No you won't."
We don't have to do the whole argument thing, because Amaya notices something. "Where's Henry?"
Her question is answered when we hear his voice over the comms. "I'm in the cargo bay. Talk me through this."
Nate stands up and runs towards the cargo bay. They're probably gonna have a moment, so I don't follow.
Grim Reaper talks him through it. "You have to secure the inner door first."
"Check."
"Right, there should be a lever to your left." Reaper says.
"I see it."
Then we wait. It takes a while, but eventually he does it. "It's working." Sara tells us. "30 degrees, 36. 38."
Once the screen says 38, she pulls the lever and flies us to Earth. Egghead's voice comes over the comms again. "Commander Heywood's done it."
"We're gonna make it." Haircut says.
"Yes we are." Reaper mumbles. Not much later, we're flying through the air again.
---
I'm reading a book. It's been way too long since I read a book. I only read scary books though, otherwise I fall asleep. Right now, I'm reading 'It' from Stephen King. I know there's a movie, but I want to read the book first.
The thing is, even though it's about a murdering clown, I still feel sleepy. It is probably because I'm sitting in Sara's lap and she's stroking my hair.
She suddenly stops though. "Babe?"
"Hmm?"
"Do you want to meet my dad?"
The book falls out of my hands at that question. These random thoughts of hers always catch me off guard.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
I turns around on her lap so I'm facing her. "I met your dad already."
"You did?"
"Yeah, when I was looking for that stupid depository of Tobias Church."
She chuckles. "I'm guessing he wasn't a big fan of you."
"Understatement."
I take a deep breath and try to be honest with her. "Look, I'd love to meet your dad, but I think he'd arrest me. I'm sorry."
She nods. "I get it. I just wanted him to see you for the amazing person that you are. Not for what you've done."
Already feeling guilty, I bring my hand towards her cheek. "You know what? I'll try."
Her eyes widen with surprise. "You will?"
"Yeah, I mean I can alway escape through the window, right?"
She chuckles slightly and gives me a small kiss. "Thank you."
I honestly don't feel like I should even be with her. I love her, but she would be so much better of with this sweet, happy and cheerful boy or girl. It just feels like I'm leading her into the darkness. And I hate the feeling...
But I know that she fell in love with me. Which means that if I did break up with her, I would only be hurting her and that's the last thing I want. Instead I have to be better. I have to be the person that she needs me to be.
And I will.