Part 4
____
Anger
She had been with a man before, before the cauldron, but never after. Never had any interest, not even been interesting in Azriel. Definitely not Lucien. But Tamlin, she found herself wanting to come closer to him, wanted to feal his hands in her skin. She wanted more. Tamlin pulled away. Elain tried to kiss him again, but he stoped her.
"I need to ask you for forgiveness. I never... I have done so many bad things, taking Feyre from you... Selling you out... I never believed or knew what the King would do. If I did... I had never even got the Idea... I just believed that it would be a trade, you and your sister for Feyre..." He was crying, his hand shaking in hers.
"I know..." Elain found herself saying. "I saw you... In my visions... I saw your regret." That string at her heart made it self known again. But Lucien was not around... Only Tamlin...
"I was mad at everyone, but never you... The king, my sisters... But never you..."
"How could you not hate me for what I did?" Tamlin said.
"I... I just somewhere knew that you felt regret for what happened." She got closer. "So, I forgive you..."
The string moved again, Like it was mad for her being this close to Tamlin, No... It wanted her to be there with him... The string pulled her closer, once more meeting his lips. Tamlins hands moved over the fabric of her dress, it had become dirty from the work around the house. She wanted it of, she wanted to come closer.
"I don't understand..." Tamin mumbled against her lips. This doesn't make sense..."
"What?" She asked.
"Lucien is your mate... But why do I feal that you are mine?" He said. He got up.
"I don't want Lucien as a mate." Elain said, still siting down. "Don't leave me for it, I don't care!"
"I need to check something before... I will be back before the night." Tamlin left her alone. Elain just sat down o the gravel pathway, her hands hurting from digging for the weeds roots. Her nails had been broken of to nobs, some blood had gathered along her cuticles. She needed to wash it of, needed to move... She got up, moving to the shalod dam of water. Hesitating before putting her hands in it letting the water wash away some of the dirt. Tamlin had planed some food over the fire, it would be rady later in the day.
The sun moved across the sky, leaving Elain to worry about when Tamlin was returning. The sun started to set when he came back, Dragging Lucien behind him.
"Tell her." Tamlin said, looking at Elain as he did.
"I... When you came out from the cauldron, I saw a mating bond around you, and that it connected to Tamlin. In the moment, I got afraid, thinking the King Would take you to bind Tamlin even more to him. So I said you were my Mate..." Lucien said, looking down. "I hoped that you just could reject the bond, believing it was me. All to be safe. But I realised that you couldn't, so I left you alone, hoping they would belive that I had rejected you. But Azriel knew something was up, time and time again he has been on me, trying to figure it out." Elain almost laughed, of curse Azriel knew, he never gave anyone some privacy.
"I told him last month... And last week when he took you here..."
"Do they all know? DO THEY ALL KNOW THAT I AM HERE!" Elain screamed. Her family had left her alone in the Spring court. Azriel had left her here.
"No..." It was not Lucien, nor Tamlin that spoke. But Azriel, emerging from the shadows "Feyre believe that you are visiting your old home, wanting to get some space. I am sorry Elain..." Elain got up, and left.
She walked out from the mansion, out in the forest again. Just walking. Lucien had lied, Azriel had lied, but Tamlin... He had never lied to her... He had chosen not to tell her his name, not lied about it. But the others had lied... She kept on walking, her dress got snagged on branses, before riping holes in it. Elain just walked. The sun disappeared, bering replaced with stars. It got harder to see, but she did not stop.
Rage was in every part of her body, making her vision blurry once more. And she screamed in the forest, screamed out her frustration. Why can't anyone just be honest with her, who do all just ack like she needs them, She needed no one, She just needed to be herself. Like she had been with Tamlin. She stopped, panting, crying, screaming. She hit her hands against a tree, making her hands bleed. The anger did not disappear, but it gone from a burning fire inside her to a ember. And then it turned to nothing. Elain fell down to her knees, and cried.
For so long she had lived a life to please others, making her sisters see her as heald and living. And she had been, but only to meet there perfekt world. Not hers. And Tamlin...
Was he her true mate? Lucien had lied, and Az had known. Deciding her life for her, and deciding Tamlins life for him... Elain got up, wondering which way was back to the mansion. Which way leed her back to them. She stood still, frozen. She didn't want Azriel to find her, she didn't want Lucien to talk to her ever again. His lie had made her feal that hate for almost two years... Tamlin... Elain wanted him to find her, to bring her back. To talk to her, with her. She wanted to fix the mansion, do let the flowers grow and spread. To fill this court with life. She wanted to stay here. So far away from the Night she could, leave her sister behind. She didn't need a title like Feyre, or a group like the Valkyries and Nesta. She just needed a garden, and a place filled with life.
"Spring is my home..." She whispered more to herself then to anyone that might hear her. "This place is my home." The emptiness after the anger turned to relife. She felt how the string next to her heart moved, making her find her way back.
The three males stood in the courtyard when she come back. The moon and the night had fallen, making the courtyard got light up by the moon. Azriel moved away, but Lucien walked up to her. Trying to talk.
"Don't." she said, "Don't say one word." He backed of, and Tamlin was left. His head tilted towards the ground. The string moved again, this time it was Elain that pulled it, making Tamlin look up.
"Can I stay here?" She asked.
"It is not much of here to stay for." Tamlin said back. The mansion behind him luminated by the moon light.
"Then we will make it something to stay for." Elain said, walking up towards him. "Tamlin, I will stay here, with you. Draggin up weeds like a animal. And if that is all, I can live with it." Azriel moved.
"Tell Feyre and Nesta that I am staying, and that I will contact them if and when I want to. Thank you for respecting that." Azriel said nothing, just nodded his head and disappeared into the shadows.
"You... Want to stay here?" Lucien said, disbelief filed his voice.
"Why not? Why not stay in a place were I feal good, and were I can do the things I like." Elain said back. Lucien stood still, just looking at his hands. "Lucien just leave." The male did just that. And Elain turned back towards Tamlin.
"You can stay here." He said. "And we can talk about it, if you want." Elain walked up to him, and hugged him.
____
Vote, Comment, Share!
/Mymymoon