°•∘ to say goodbye ∘•°
Life had been busy for the Enhypen members for the last weeks. They were recording stuff, going to dance rehearsals, finishing up with school exams, and trying to sleep while at it all.
Eunsae had been waking up at dawn, almost before the sun rose, and had been having small anxiety rashes. They seemed to be like mosquito bites, but itched as hell and lasted for like half an hour.
She didn't know why, but her anxiety was about as bad as her night terrors were before they had gotten back from Jeju. But she didn't know why. Well, she knew why. Because of him. But it was more like she felt like something bad would happen, that he would come after her after all this years and try to hurt her.
She didn't feel at ease, anywhere. She was jumpy and scaredy, and the members had noticed.
So when she woke up at dawn that day, everyone was already waiting for her at the kitchen. They knew she took a cup of tea and then scrolled down on Weverse and Instagram until it was almost time for them all to wake up, and she would sneak in their bedroom again and pretend to be asleep.
She almost let out the loudest shriek as she saw them waiting for her at the kitchen. She should've figured it out; that they would try to do an intervention. They had been so quiet lately, and she hadn't suspected anything.
She hadn't noticed that, because she was too busy thinking about all of the ways he could reach out to her and try to hurt her.
She sighed and walked silently towards the kettle, they had prepared her some water. So she served herself a cup of tea and sat at the table.
"Spill it", she sighed while waiting for her tea to be a little colder so she could take a sip.
"We need to know what it is that has you all weirded out", Heeseung started. As the eldest, he felt it was his responsibility to take care of them all, specially Eunsae, given she had been in a mood lately.
"I don't want you guys to worry too much, it's probably nothing", she tried to smile a bit.
"It's not nothing if you're feeling down and not getting enough sleep", Sunoo said sternly. He only acted that way whenever he was worried, or pissed off, and Eunsae couldn't tell if it was one or the other.
She filled her lungs with air and closed her eyes, trying not to cry. It was useless though, because as soon as she felt Jake's arm around her shoulders, she broke.
"It's hard to talk about it", she mumbled.
"We know, but we wanna be there for you", Jungwon replied softly.
So she opened her mouth, wanting to tell them. She would eventually have to say something; mostly when they debuted and she became famous again.
But the words didn't leave her lips. It was as if her voice had suddenly been taken away from her.
They waited patiently for her to be able to speak. None of them knew how hard it was, but they had talked and had decided that they would be there for her no matter what. Because, as she had said in Jeju, they were family now.
She opened her eyes, licked her trembling lips, and focused her gaze on her cup of tea. And then, the words spilled into the air making it thick, and a feeling of peace to bubble up inside of her chest.
∘₊✧──────✧₊∘
Life was easy in Japan. Mom had been working from home, dedicating time for her and Eunsae to be together. Dad had been working on weekly shifts, making sure he always had enough free time in between surgeries and patients to be with his two favorite girls.
Ever since they had moved there from the States, they had decided they wanted to be there for their daughter because she hadn't been able to make friends. At least, not that they knew of, and that kind of got them worried.
But that weekend mom and dad had to attend a ball in Nagoya, and she was left alone for the weekend, given that they lived near Kochi.
So she made her way towards the beach. She had always loved the feeling of the sand in between her toes, and the salty air mingling with her hair.
She didn't like the ocean, though. It was so powerful, and enormous, that it intimidated her a little. Also, she barely knew how to swim. So she always contented herself with walking around the shore, listening to the waves crushing against some rocks in the distance, and feeling the sticky air caressing her cheeks and nose.
She liked it like that: peaceful, bright, and calm. But life had decided that day, that she would become a warrior. A survivor.
A hand held her wrist tightly, and she was startled by the feeling. She hadn't noticed someone else was in that beach. Saturday mornings were the moments where the shore would be empty, and she liked it that way. It made her feel at ease.
Which was the complete opposite of what she was feeling at the moment. Her eyes were open wide and she turned around, trying not to seem as scared as she was.
"You're Moon Sang-Hyun's daughter", the voice stated. She gulped.
Yes, she was. His only daughter. But why was that middle aged man holding onto her for dear life?
She tried to get rid of his hold, but his fingers only snaked around her wrist tighter.
"Sir, you're hurting me", she commented.
Her heart was pounding on her chest and making it hard for her to focus on anything else than its rapid beating that could be heard in he ears, as if it was beating right next to her eardrums.
"I know", he replied. Her lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears as fast as she realized she was truly in danger.
"Your dad... huh. A surgeon", the man said. He started walking towards the ocean, dragging her with him, his fingers digging on the skin of her wrist with so much force.
"Sir...", she managed to let out. He stopped once his feet and hers were ankle-deep in the water.
"Shut up!", he groaned. He took a rope and managed to tie her hand with his, still holding onto her wrist. She gulped, while trying to free herself, but to no avail.
She came to notice that the man had his pocket filled with rocks, and her cheeks were suddenly wet. She was gonna drown with him.
He was gonna drown in the ocean and drag her along.
"Sir, I don't know what happened, but I'm sure we can–", her voice was cut off with a hand slapping her face.
"I'm nothing. Your father killed my baby girl. He killed her with his bare hands!", he shouted. His cheeks were tear stained too, and she suddenly became numb.
This was it. This was the end of her life.
"So now, I'm gonna do the same to him. I'm gonna take his little sunshine away, and he'll know what it feels like to be hopeless and hurt, and he will never kill anyone again", he said.
He dragged her onto the water, her clothes soaked and now waist deep in the ocean. Her breath hitched.
How she wished she could say goodbye to her parents. She was sure the patient has died not because of her dad, but because they weren't able to save her. Sometimes it happened.
But who would save her?
"Sir..."
"Shut up or I'll drown you right here, right now", he roared. She nodded and gulped, suddenly feeling like she was okay with it.
Life had been good. She had had friends, her parents had loved her. She was able to learn and to grow, and she was able to love her family as dearly as she could. She had been able to travel, to watch movies, to laugh until tears stained her cheeks.
It was okay. Dad and mom would be hurt, but she didn't have a choice. How could she escape that faith?
She couldn't. So she let it be.
She let him drag her into the water, feeling it cold against her elbows and then against her shoulders and then, starting to feel cold against her chin, covering her lips, drowning her little by little.
Swallowing her almost poetically.
So she let out her last breath as the man continued to walk, his hand never leaving her wrist and their arms linked strongly by the rope around them.
And it was okay. She was okay. She had lived, she had dreamed.
And now it was time to sleep.
She held her breath as long as she could. She tried not to give into the panic that filled her, that tried to keep her alive. She tried not to listen to her lungs screaming for air, and her eyes stinging because she had them wide open. Her hair was floating all around her and the man was pulling her down, enough for him to drown and for her to follow suit.
And then, there was nothing.
And her muscles relaxed, and her lungs gave up, and her heart ached because she was dying.
And she wasn't able to say goodbye.
like dawn
clear and beautiful
(ridhima rostgl)
extras
1. Katsurahama beach.
2. Incorrect quotes.
heeseung: my youngest, riki, is being tested for the gifted program at his school
heeseung: my other child, eunsae, thinks her toothbrush is haunted.
.·:·.✧✧.·:·.
eunsae: hey want me to do a tarot reading for you?
jake: sure
eunsae: [laying down cards] alright. this one tells me you're a precious angel, this one says your smile is heavenly, this–
jake: those aren't even tarot cards, they're photocards of me
eunsae: my point still stands
.·:·.✧✧.·:·.
eunsae: when i get murdered, make sure my case is unsolved
sunghoon: what?
eunsae: i want to be on buzfeed unsolved
sunghoon: let's go back to the "when i'm murdered " part
.·:·.✧✧.·:·.
eunsae: so osmium is the densest material on eart, 22 grams in just 1 cubic centimeter
jungwon: so you're saying it's–
eunsae *nods*: thick as fuck, yes
.·:·.✧✧.·:·.
eunsae: what are you doing?
jungwon *taking a buzfeed test to see what kind of toast he is*: leader stuff
.·:·.✧✧.·:·.
[eunsae and sunoo practicing english]
eunsae: so where are you from?
sunoo: south korea
eunsae: which part?
sunoo: my whole body
omg im so sorry guys. i dont know it that's worthy of a trigger warning, but i tried writing it as light as i could.
so yeah. moonie drowned.
also, i almost cried writing this idk why? maybe im so attached to her that it hurts me to know she's been hurt. also, im the one writing her story lmao. but i wanted this trauma to be... well... poetic.
so yeah. lmk what you think.
comment your bias here! i love to know a little more about you!!
also, thank you for reading and commenting. [5k, still can't believe it]
-baobab.
(Proofread on August 31. If I overlooked any mistakes please let me know)