I was riding my bike down my regular route to work but the usually serene forest trail was disturbed by the distressed squawking of a duck (?)
"Squawk!" I heard it echo through the woods and immediately sped up only to see the sight of a young goose being flanked on all sides by a bunch of kids. They were throwing stones at it, pulling its neck and all around harassing it.
"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I threw my bike to the side pulling away the mini psychos from the distressed bird.
It lowered its head bobbing it back and forth suddenly going in for the kill. I was excited to witness a goose attack in person and was rooting for it to get its own back at the bullies.
"Ow!" Too bad this stupid goose attacked the wrong human. I screamed in pain, yanking my arm back and watched as the children ran away in terror.
"You foolish human! How dare you attack me?" The goose suddenly spoke and I fell backwards in shock.
T-talking goose?
I scrambled back as it approached me threateningly with its head held high.
"W-wai-" The goose suddenly interrupted my bewildered shout.
"I'll let you see what it's like to live as a goose!" He cried out before biting down on my already injured hand and refusing to let go.
"Ow. W-wait, I didn't even do anyt- honk!" The honk escaping my body shocked me into silence. "W-what the hell is -hon- happening?" I slapped my hand over my mouth to push back the bubbling quacks.
"I didn't, honk, hit, honk, you!" I cried out, feeling like I was about to go crazy.
"Oh... Now that I look at you more closely you're not one of the kids from earlier." The goose wiped the blood covering his eyes and finally looked at me.
"Haaank, honk." I screamed in goose as I felt tears fill my vision.
"Oops." He muttered shakily, shaking his head slightly and then I watched as he flew away.
"Honk, honk, hon." I barked after him trying to chase him but my little goose legs were too hard to use and I fell flat on my face.
What is this? I screamed in my head as I watched the bastard goose flying further and further away.
A/N: inspired by my urge to buy a pet goose