"I told you to take a break" Tristan muttered as he began to collect his belongings from his locker. He glanced over at his younger brother with a disappointed frown. Tristan had been captain of the soccer team for two years, and for his senior year, he got to play with Jullian. But that didn't mean he was any easier on him than the rest of the team, in fact, he was a lot harder on him than everyone else.
"Well, I didn't" Jullian scoffed as he carefully removed his shoe to inspect his ankle. "I'll be fine by tomorrow"
"I know" Tristan huffed. Jullian rolled his eyes. Of course, Tristan knew... The boy had wanted to become a doctor for as long as Jullian could remember and took every medical health class the school had offered him. "But you won't be playing"
"What?" The young brunette's eyes darted to Tristan in disbelief. "I said I'll be fine... I'm playing whether you like it or not"
"No, you're not. You didn't listen to me and you got yourself hurt. If you keep this up you'll do permanent damage over what? A game of soccer?" Tristan roughly slammed his locker shut, ignoring the boys who awkwardly shuffled to get dressed around them. Jullian and Tristan never argued... Never fought or genuinely got on the other's nerves. It was a rare sight and everyone knew to shut up and get away as soon as possible.
"I won't" Jullian groaned.
"Sometimes I wonder how the hell you're going to function when I leave for college" Tristan's gorgeous hazel eyes locked on Jullian. Today they were tinted in an excellent green...
"I'd be fine without you" Jullian snapped. "I'm playing"
"I'm team captain and I decided you aren't" Tristan deadpanned before heading toward the door. Jullian cursed and grabbed his bag, quick to follow him since Tristan was his only ride home. "Uh-huh. If you're legs so good you can walk home"
_________________________________________
Soccer had always been an important aspect of Jullian's life. It was a good outlet for any anger or frustrations he felt... It was also the starting point of the undying friendship between him and his older brother. Soccer was what made them as close as they were... For as long as Jullian could remember, they'd sneak out when their parents were arguing or when Jullian was an exceptionally bad day at school. They'd play in the park for hours... It was one of the few safe places he had. One of the few places he was allowed to be himself.
Ever since the accident... Ever since Tristan died... He hadn't been able to play. When Tristan went to college, Jullian had taken his role as captain. He still stayed involved with the team, still worked his ass off just to stay fit enough, to be perfect. But then Tristan died. He tried to play after that... He tried to play with his team over the Summer... But playing made him dizzy.
All he could think about was Tristan teaching him how to play. Talking through the rules with him, running suicides alongside him, teaching him the different techniques. He'd stay out with Jullian for hours because he knew just how badly Jullian wanted to be perfect at something. Anything. When he tried playing, he'd fumble a lot. He felt like a little kid picking up the ball for the first time. He was absolute shit and suddenly hated playing. So he quit the team.
After that, he struggled even more with coping. Soccer had always been his outlet, his way to release any pent-up anger. But he was angrier than ever after Tristan and he had gotten rid of his outlet as a whole. He didn't have anywhere to release the building stress... It didn't take long for it to get too much for him. And that was when he started picking fights. Things as little as stealing a chip or a bad joke had become enough to set him over the top.
The only person who kept him sane in all of that was Sarah... Sarah who had lost someone she loved too... Sarah didn't falter. She was open about the fact that she was upset but she had stepped up and been over at Jullian's almost daily. Jullian's mom couldn't get out of bed and his dad had disappeared for days at a time. So Sarah would cook and kept the house intact. She took care of Jullian and his mother. Made sure they ate, tried to make them smile, and made sure that they both had the right resources to get help.
Then things picked up again. His mom would show her face once or twice a week. Then a day. And then eventually it went back to normal... His dad would come home after two days, then a few hours late, and then eventually on time. But Jullian didn't get better. He still fought... He still argued and lashed out. And Sarah couldn't fix that. So she did what she thought was best and found somewhere that she thought could; Westwood Asylum.
Westwood hadn't helped him the way he expected it to. They had tried to provide classes and grief counseling, but Jullian wasn't too interested. Austin had helped... He gave him another outlet for a while, even if it wasn't a healthy one it was better than fighting. And then he realized he liked or maybe even loved Austin... Somehow that helped too.
But something Austin had said before shutting him out kept circling his mind. That he was boring or passionless... That was a lie. He was far from either of those things, he just didn't know how to express them anymore. Jullian was out to prove Austin wrong. And that was why he was standing in line at a small store with a new soccer ball in hand.
A young teenage girl stood at the register looking bored as she scanned through the person in front of him's items. She was pretty. She had frizzy purple curls that landed on her shoulders, golden skin, and a short and curvy body. She had a septum piercing and wore contacts that made her eyes an unrealistic golden color. Maybe Sarah had a point... Maybe his type was anyone who would disappoint his parents.
He bit back a laugh as he imagined how they would react to find out that not only had he caught feelings for a boy... But had slept with one too. He knew they'd hate Austin but wouldn't dare be vocal about it. He knew they'd cringe in distaste as his style, his attitude, and the fact that he chose to express himself as more feminine. Austin's presence would scare his mother... But if by some miracle they ever met him as his boyfriend she'd have a heart attack.
"Hello, did you find everything alright?" The girl sighed as she scanned the soccer ball. Jullian nodded before spotting a pack of sour skittles and a blow pop... He didn't hesitate to grab both and hand them to her. After every game, Tristan and Jullian always ate a pack of sour skittles to celebrate... Even when Tristan was at college and couldn't make it. It was a tradition and had quickly made skittles his favorite candy. As for the blow pop, he knew they were Austin's favorite.
"Yeah, fine" Jullian shrugged.
Not long after, he found himself standing in an empty, secluded park. It was no wonder it was so... Removed from society. The playground looked as though the weight of a feather would make it collapse. But there was a soccer field and that was all Jullian really needed.
His stomach twisted as he hesitantly dropped the ball to the ground. He wasn't even sure where to begin... He was so out of practice. He carefully dribbled the ball, allowing for muscle memory to take over. He didn't feel like he was playing. He felt like he was following the footsteps of the ghost of his past self. Trying to keep up, to follow his every move exactly.
For a moment he remembered sprinting across the field with the ball between his feet, praying he was faster than the other team. Praying he was more skilled than their goalie. Praying his teammates were close behind him instead of their competition. For a moment he could hear the crowd's scream and shout in excitement as the ball soared across the field...
He could also remember being a little kid. Maybe ten or eleven, standing at the fence and screaming at the top of his lungs as he watched Tristan win his first high school game. Or a toddler excitedly watching his brother's little league games and practices hoping that one day it would be him. Sometimes he was seven and walking onto the little league field with Tristan. This time he wasn't Tristan's annoying little brother, but he was a player. Or maybe he was fourteen and getting ready to try out for the high school team. Practicing with Sarah and Tristan nonstop.
But those weren't his favorite memories. His favorite memory took place at the championship game of Jullian's first year on the team. He was fifteen and had barely played the entire game. And when he did, he was struggling to keep up with the much older boys on the other team. But Tristan had carried them. He had scored two of the three goals, winning three to two.
Since it was the championships, and the cheerleaders didn't have competition scheduled on that day Sarah and a few of her friends had come to support them. She had been decked out in paint and one of Jullian's jerseys since they were supposedly dating. She had jumped up and down, shouting in excitement as they won, and had wasted no time tackling Tristan and Jullian in a hug and planting a quick kiss on Jullian's cheek as soon as she could. Tristan had smiled and taken them all out to celebrate at dinner.
Afterward, they had gone bowling together. Tristan and Jullian had teased and harassed Sarah into asking for a pretty girl's number like the supportive brotherly figures they were. Jullian had gotten skittles thrown at him by the embarrassed and flustered blonde as he called over the dark-haired girl before she could chicken out. Tristan had laughed and offered to drive Sarah if she ended up asking her on a date... That was the best memory of his life.
Looking back on it, Tristan probably knew Jullian liked boys long before he did. Jullian didn't label himself... He didn't feel a need to. He liked who he liked and it was as simple as that. But that same night Tristan had nudged Jullian and whispered something about an awkward-looking boy with elbows for knees staring at Jullian with a flushed face. Jullian had blushed and shoved Tristan away, saying that he wasn't interested in that sort of thing... That was a lie.
Jullian's chest tightened as he found himself becoming familiar with soccer again. Bouncing the ball on his feet, trying out his old tricks and fancy footwork he used to do to annoy Sarah when they played. And then he neared the net and he found it hard to breathe. He finally kicked the ball, watching it fly into the net with the precision he had perfected over the years. And then he broke.
His arms tightened around his body, hugging himself tightly as he struggled to remain standing. Jullian refused to cry... Tristan hated catching Jullian crying. Tristan would have awkwardly stood there and scrambled for a way to distract him... Tristan never was good with talking about his or others' feelings. His bottom lip trembled and he let out slow and shaky breaths. Only three tears slipped out of the countless he was holding back.
When he lost Tristan it was like losing a part of himself. Tristan was his Jiminy Cricket. He was his conscience that helped him find better ways to interact with others and cope with whatever was going on at home. He wasn't sure he'd still be a functioning human being without him... And now Jullian would just have to learn to strive on his own. To be his own person. And for the first time ever, he was sure he could do that.
_________________________________________
"Of course you're a fucking Aries" Markos scowled as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"Quit with the astrology crap" Jayce groaned before he cast a sympathetic glance at Beau who was trying to soothe a building headache from Markos and Aiden.
"What does that even mean" Aiden snapped. "Why is it a bad thing?"
Jayce sighed and leaned back in his seat knowing very well that this was not ending any time soon. He had planned to take Markos out for ice cream for Markos's birthday... Turns out, Aiden and Markos were born in the same week. Aiden on March twenty-fourth, and Markos on March nineteenth. So, Beau and Jayce had thought it would be a good idea to take everyone out for ice cream to celebrate on the twenty-first. That was a terrible idea.
Not only could Markos not resist the temptation to harass Aiden at every given opportunity, but Aiden was one to argue back. Beau had given up trying to talk them down about ten minutes ago, Jayce was silently begging for Jullian to finally show up so that they could order and they'd shut up, and Austin was... Weird. He seemed to be in some sort of depression. It was so sudden... One day he was his usual and snarky self, the next he had locked himself in his room for days only to come out quiet and unbothered.
The small, white-haired boy was wearing a hoodie and jeans. Plain and simple... Something Jayce didn't even realize he owned. He was sitting in the booth with Markos and Jayce, his head resting on Markos's shoulder and both of his knees to his chest. The sitting thing wasn't anything new... Austin always sat with at least one of his feet off of the floor but the head thing was concerning.
"It just gives me another reason not to like you" Markos scoffed.
"I never did anything to you" Aiden reminded him with a frown. Jayce sighed and brought his hand to Markos's thigh, lightly squeezing it.
"I think you two are going to give Beau a migraine" Jayce sighed in hopes that their shared adoration for Beau would make them quit. Markos paused and glanced over at Beau before letting out a long sigh and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Fine..." Markos huffed before glancing down at Austin. "Are you... Okay?"
"Don't ask him that" Aiden warned. "I got half of the things on his bed thrown at me"
"Fuck off" Austin muttered as he shot a quick glare in Aiden's direction. He lifted his head up, keeping his face emotionless. Jayce always wondered how he managed to do it... There were some times where Jayce wished he had as good of a poker face as Austin. "I'm fine, I just didn't sleep"
"You slept like a rock" Aiden deadpanned. Austin shrugged and Beau's face lit up as the door to the ice cream parlor opened. A tall and well-built brunette walked in. His eyes weren't such a dark hazel which was new... Instead, they had bright flecks of green and honey brown. Jayce hadn't seen Jullian so... Lively since Sarah picked him up over winter break.
"Hey! Where were you?" Beau smiled and quickly made room for Jullian, receiving a scoff from Austin when he sat down.
"Um... I used to be really into soccer and decided to stop by a park and practice a bit... It's been a while" Jullian shrugged. He glanced over at Austin who was avoiding his gaze... That's when it slowly came together. They must have had another fight... A really bad one too if Austin was upset.
"I didn't know you played" Beau admitted.
"Yeah, I totally would have played with you instead of playing basketball every weekend" Jayce forced a bright smile.
"Nah... I took a break from it" Jullian shrugged. "Anyways, happy late birthday Markos, happy early birthday Aiden"
"Thanks" The two boys gave him quick smiles before a young waitress came over with a pen and paper.
"What can I get you, boys?" She hummed as she gave them a once-over. She had a faint accent similar to Beau's. If Jayce had to guess she was from the same area or at least from the South. Beau gave her a shy smile.
"Can I get the dairy-free lemongrass?" Beau sheepishly asked. She gave him a reassuring smile and quickly jotted it down.
"What about you, darling?" She asked as her soft brown eyes landed on Jullian.
"Mint chocolate chip"
"Gross" Austin mumbled as he wrinkled his nose in slight distaste. "Can I get raspberry sorbet?"
"And you say mine was gross" Jullian scoffed. The woman nodded and moved her eyes to Aiden.
"Rocky road" He hummed without much thought.
"Mango" Markos happily announced the moment the woman's eyes landed on him. Jayce snorted knowing very well that Markos had been craving anything flavored mango for a solid week now. He knew Markos would have preferred getting it from places like Hawaii, but he was working with what he had.
"Strawberry, for me please" Jayce gave the woman a polite smile before she wrote down the last of their orders and headed back behind the counter.
"Why dairy-free?" Aiden asked as he glanced down at Beau. Beau only shrugged and propped his head upon his hands.
"I'm lactose intolerant. I used to do fine handling it but the last few times I had ice cream it made me throw up so now I just eat dairy-free products or things with less dairy" Beau briefly explained. The boys all nodded and carried on with their conversation.
The celebration went fine. Beau had managed to go through with what he and Jayce had agreed upon and went to use the bathroom. Instead of going, he snuck it to the staff that it was Aiden and Markos's birthday so their ice cream had come out in bowls with simple candles stuck into it. Everyone had happily sung with the staff while Aiden got flustered and Markos had the time of his life. Overall, Jayce enjoyed himself.
After stopping by their dorms so that Jayce could grab something, Jayce had found himself being pulled into an empty classroom since all of the teachers had gone home for the weekend. Markos laughed and placed a sweet and loving kiss on Jayce's lips, smiling into it.
"Beat birthday ever" Markos happily announced.
"Really?" Jayce chuckled in disbelief. He loved the feeling of Markos wrapping his arms tightly around him. He loved the way his smile lit up the room, the way his laugh echoed, and how he always did excited dances when he was happy. He loved how his curls fell over his forehead and sometimes his eyes... He loved how dorky he looked when he wore his glasses, how beautifully words rolled off of his tongue, and how he viewed the world. He loved his writings and his stories... His way with words... He loved Markos.
"Yes," Markos promised. "Honestly, who would have thought that some retro ice cream joint in Washington with you and the guys would be nicer than some overwhelming banquet with people I hate?" Jayce couldn't help laughing and pulled the boy in for another kiss filled with smiles and more laughter.
"I got you something" Jayce hummed. "It isn't much..." He warned. Markos's eyebrow arched at that. Markos rarely got gifts for the sake of giving gifts. It was always to shut him up or to bribe him. They were always just objects... Made of metal and jewels. They were pretty but had no real meaning to bim. "But my friend Sasha is this incredible artist so she helped me out a bit,"
"You didn't have to get me anything" Markos grinned as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck. Jayce rolled his eyes and handed him a small package he had grabbed from his dorm. Markos hesitantly accepted it before carefully untying the strings revealing a journal.
It was handmade and carefully done. The main part of it was a light creme color with a dark brown leather lacing that created the spine. There was the same deep brown outlining an M on the front with a jumble of delicate and beautiful cursive writing filling it in. There was a deep midnight blue ribbon for a bookmark and each page had a small drawing of a cactus in the bottom corner designed by Sasha.
"I thought you might be tired of losing all of your paper" Jayce chuckled. Markos had a habit of writing all of his thoughts and ideas on a piece of paper only to lose it. Jayce thought it was funny but sometimes it drove Markos crazy.
"Oh, my gods... I love it" Markos whispered as he quickly pulled open the cover to admire the pages. "You helped make this?" He asked in disbelief. Jayce barely got a chance to nod before he was pulled into another passionate kiss. Markos's lips moved quickly against his, savoring every touch. Jayce wasted no time kissing him back and gripping the boy's waist to pull him closer.
He wanted to blurt it out then and there. To tell Markos he loved him... But somehow he couldn't find the words, even if they were so simple. So he kept it to himself. Mentally repeating it over and over again in disbelief and relief. Never in his life did he think he'd be in love with a boy... Especially not someone like Markos. So he thought it again and again and every time it just felt right. He never got tired of it. It never lost meaning... It felt more special every time.
I'm in love with Markos Ariti...
Question of the chapter: If your best friend got a call saying you were a prison, what would they think you were in for?