She couldn't close her eyes. Every time they shut, it was a picture of her mom lying dead. Blood all over the place: on the floor, the furniture, Rowan's body, and her own hands. Like she was the one that did it, as if it was her fault that her mom was involved in this.
Getting up from her bed, Vanessa slipped on her slippers and went inside her bathroom to splash some warm water on her face to tire herself— it didn't work. She was still wide awake, but she was tired. All she wanted was to sleep in peace with no worries.
Since she wasn't going to be sleeping anytime soon, Vanessa sat down at her desk and took out her notebook. Ever since middle school, she had kept 2 journals— one for her dreams, and one to write in daily. She hadn't picked either of them up in years and figured it was time to start again if she wasn't going to be sleeping. Obviously not having any dreams, she opened her daily one and sat for a moment to think. There was nothing on her mind to write. Besides the cases and someone out there trying to murder her, there was nothing.
I'm gonna die soon. She though to herself. Whoever is out there wants me dead. So if I die, I need to leave something behind right?
Picking up her pen, she started to write. She was writing letters. To each individual on the team—and her mom, in case she managed to make it out alive.
...
"Vanessa," cooed Rowan, tapping on her daughters shoulder. "You're late for work..." Vanessa slowly, but surely, woke up. She wasn't in a shock of being late; she didn't want to show up. "What are you working on?"
Picking up the journal, Rowan tried to sneak a peak at her writing before Vanessa snatched it out of her hands. Looking down at her work, she was in the middle of Spencer's letter before she fell asleep.
4 hours. That's the most she's gotten this week.
Vanessa left for work without breakfast, having been in a rush once Hotch called her to meet at the plane in 30. Tossing on her boots, and buttoning up the buttons of her black loose button up to the middle—a white tank top underneath— she left with her go bag and straight for the FBI.
"Sorry," she mumbled once she got on the airplane. Everyone gave her looks of concern seeing her run in late, something that was very rare. They all seemed to look very distressed at the same time.
Leaning against the plane to face JJ, Emily, Derek, and Spencer, Hotch started to brief her on the case.
"Mass grave in Portland with 3 bodies killed 6 months ago," he said "Another body found nearby... causes of death from burning alive to asphyxiation with no sexual assault." Vanessa nodded, chewing on her bottom lip anxiously.
"Well that's difficult," she said before yawning. "Different M.O., no sexual preference, could they be more of a mess?"
JJ handed her photos of the crime scenes before she said, "Only one of them were reported missing: Rick Holland, reported 9 months ago. But the search was off."
"He also sent an email to his family saying he needed some time to sort things out," Hotch added.
"So, the unsub is covering his tracks," said Vanessa. "Or maybe he feels remorse?"
"Psychopaths don't apologize for their behavior."
Vanessa nodded, and left to the back of the plane for a cup of coffee, Hotch following behind her.
"There's something else," he said quietly to make sure no one else heard. "Gideon's gone."
Letting out a small cough, her brows furrowed out of shock, "Like... he resigned?"
"For good."
Leaning to her side for a moment, her eyes locked on Reid. She knew how much Gideon meant to him, and now that he's gone, he's probably having the worst of it. Vanessa nodded, indicting she understood the problem with this and he walked away again.
"Can we go over what Portland found?" annouced Hotch, taking a seat as JJ started passing around more case files.
Spencer stood up from his seat and started for the back of the plane as well. Vanessa gave him a warm smile, which he quickly returned.
"One female and 2 male victims found together in the same grave," said JJ. "Age 25 to 30. All had been dead... 6 months?" She handed 2 files to Spencer and Vanessa. He walked back to his seat, standing, and Vanessa sat down next to Emily.
"That sounds like 3 different M.O.s," said Emily, and Vanessa looked over at her files as if something new was going to show up.
"Uh— Gary Taylor, the Phantom Sniper, was all over the map, just like this guy," Spencer stated. "He changed his M.O. as his need to control the situation changed." Vanessa stared at him a bit longer than the rest, unintentionally. For a moment, things seemed calm for her.
"What about the fresh grave?" Hotch asked.
"Female, 28," said JJ, "dead roughly 48 hours. She was asphyxiated."
"It's a good thing this guy's dump site has been compromised," said Morgan.
"Is it though?" Vanessa said abruptly afterwards. "If he finds out that we know about it, he might feel pressure and— and make a mistake." Feeling her head pounding, she put the files in her lap and pinched her eyes together. The plane went silent for a second as they all watched. "Ow," she whispered under her breath.
The silence was broken when a whispering Garcia came from the computer.
"Hey, you," she said, and Reid was looking around with confusion as the voice kept speaking. "Uh, down here."
"I knew that," Reid chuckled, sitting down by the laptop and fixing it so everyone could see.
"Good thing you're handsome, doctor. Attention team members— this killer guy continues to stoop to an all-time low of lows by posing as his victims," said Penelope. "He's also manipulated 2 of the families into thinking everything was ok, even after they were reported missing. One of the fake emails was from their daughter, she said she met this guy and was taking him to her favorite place, Australia, for a couple of weeks. Family contacted the Australian authorities after too much time had passed."
"This guy sure knows a lot of personal information about his victims," said Morgan.
"Maybe he surveys people as a job," said Vanessa. "Or collects online data..."
"How did he get access to their e-mail accounts?" asked Emily.
"Screen name was the same, but the domain was different. The families never noticed. When I find more pieces of the puzzle, you'll know. Garcia out."
After she hung up the call, everyone went to try and come up with possible explanations.
"This guy's creative," stated Hotch. "Let's see the details one more time just to make sure that we haven't missed anything.
...
After the case was over and done with, the team was heading back to Virginia straight after. Vanessa had been more exhausted than ever; she had probably gone through 10 cups of coffee today. Her head was pounding, her eyes were on fire, and her body felt on the edge of a breakdown. Not only that, but she was starving. The most she ate today was a granola bar Morgan had gotten her from a vending machine after seeing how fatigue she looked.
Laying down on the sofa, Vanessa had her eyes wide open. She was staring into nothing as everything went black around her; stars were forming. But she still couldn't sleep. Then Spencer came to sit next to her feet—her knees were bent as she cuddled with herself.
Vanessa felt his presence and remembered what it felt like when he was talking earlier, peaceful. "Can you talk to me," she announced, sitting up next to him. Spencer gave her a funny look, since no ever seemed to like to hear him talk.
"I— uh... I'm sorry?" he stuttered.
"Can you talk to me?" she asked again more reassuringly this time. Still quite unsure of why she wanted it, he nodded. And that's when she leaned against his arm, folding her hands together on her lap and shutting her eyes.
"Ummm," Spencer started, not knowing what to say. "Halloween is coming up. Let's talk about that." Vanessa nodded into his arm, still with her eyes closed. "Fear of Halloween is called Samhainophobia. You gotta be pretty pathetic to be scared of Halloween, right?" He looked directly towards Morgan with a chuckle before starting again. "It's the one time of year you get to be something else. You know I love dressing up, and I know that you also like to dress up. Maybe we could dress up together this year— like a couples costume or—" He stopped himself, feeling stupid for saying that, especially with the use of 'couple'. But before he could apologize and tell her to forget that idea, he heard light snores coming out of her. He honestly felt bad.
Did I bore her? He thought to himself.
Vanessa managed to sleep for the whole plane ride, which was a good thing considering how long the flight was from Oregon to Virginia. When she woke up, she was laying on Spencer's lap—her head propped up comfortably on his thigh. He was already awake, so Vanessa sat up groggily, rubbing her eyes and yawning again.
"Sorry about that," she apologized, but Spencer shook his head.
"Don't worry about it," he smiled.
As the team got off the plane, they were the last two to leave with Hotch behind them.
"Reid, take Rhodes home," he announced, but Vanessa quickly waved her hand, disagreeing.
"I can drive, Hotch," she fought, but he wasn't going to take no for an answer.
"You've been drained for weeks, Vanessa," he said. "This is probably the most sleep you've had in a while. Reid is driving you home."
"Fine," she huffed out, tossing her go-bag across her shoulder and leaving with Spencer.
They both walked silently to her car, the only noise being the clinks of her boots and the shuffle of his feet. It was cool outside—not too hot and not too cold. As the breeze swept through her hair, Vanessa remembered to check under her car. Then panic struck in her and her hand quickly went up to rest on her gun—Spencer didn't notice as he was looking for the right key. Once he finally found it, he gave her a side smile and unlocked the door. She quickly got in and locked the door behind her. Still oblivious to Vanessa's odd demeanor, Spencer started the car and drove to her apartment.
"I hope you didn't think you were a bore to me," she said suddenly, looking in his direction for a split second before facing the road again. "I like it when you talk—about anything, really. It... soothes my nerves, you could say."
Spencer felt better about himself and grinned as he stared out at the road.
"Are you okay?" she then asked. "I know how much he meant to you." By 'he' she meant Gideon, and Spencer knew that.
"Emily told me to read the letter over again," he said. "She said that it was addressed to me for a specific reason..."
"Have you figured out that reason yet?"
Spencer shook his head.
Looking out her window, she let out a sigh and said, "Maybe... he knows that you've gone through this before and wants you to know that he had to do it. It wasn't because of you—it wasn't because of any of us... Gideon's been working at the BAU since before our time and— STOP THE CAR!" She said abruptly after seeing someone in the side mirror crawling.
The car came to a fast halt and both Vanessa and Spencer exited the vehicle, guns out and aimed at anything.
Striding over to of the cars, Vanessa was aiming her gun down in case someone was there as Spencer was scanning the other side. Now would've been a good time to tell Spencer about the call, but then her phone rang and Spencer turned back around.
"Not a word to him," said the caller, and Vanessa felt her body tense up. "One peep, and he's gone, understood? Don't let his death be your fault..." With an evil cackle, the line ended and Vanessa felt her throat choke up.
"Uh— Y— yeah. I'm almost home, Mom," she said in her phone. "See you when I get there."
Putting the phone back in her pocket, she ordered for Spencer to get back in the car and drive away. Letting him leave now would've been the best thing to do, but not when they're being followed right now. She knew whoever was on the other side of that phone was right; Spencer shouldn't be a target.
"I think it would be safer if you stayed here tonight," said Vanessa as they entered her apartment. "It's late and I don't want you out there alone."
"I can manage," said Spencer, only to receive a funny look from her. "Okay..."
Rowan was asleep on the sofa when they got home. So they made sure to be extra quiet. The moonlight shone through the curtains, being the only source of light for them at the moment. Vanessa's home was very clean from what Spencer could see; it was very different though from the clutter on her desk.
"You're skinny," she stated once they entered her room. "You can fit into these."
Spencer looked around her room. It was neat and smelled of lilacs and vanilla. He liked it in here a lot and wondered why on earth he hadn't been here before. Then he looked down at her desk to see her opened journal.
"Don't read that!" she exclaimed, running to shut it closed seeing that it was opened at his letter. "Did you see it?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. He didn't see it. It would've been horrifying for Vanessa if he did, with his eidetic memory and all that.
"Good," she exasperated, handing him the clothes. "You can change in the closet or the bathroom."
Spencer took the clothes, thanked her, and went into the bathroom. It also smelt good in here: lemons and mint. He took a look at the diffuser sitting on the counter and smiled. And when he finished changing, he did a 360° in the mirror and admired her wardrobe and almost laughed at how it actually fit him. The navy green sweatpants and a large white t-shirt with a print of drawn safari animals of a giraffe, panda bear, monkey, jaguar, bear, and a tiger. Tucking his hair behind his ears, he flattened the hair on top of his head and left. He made his way back to Vanessa's room and saw her facing the opposite direction, changing into a pajama shirt. Quickly turning back around, Spencer tripped over something on the floor and quietly groaned in pain. He saw her bare back and felt tingles all over his body. The most he'd seen from her was in his dreams, and although it was just her back, it sent his body on edge.
"You can come in," chuckled Vanessa, who opened the door after hearing his tumble. "And... you can sleep on my bed tonight."
"Oh— I— I— uh—" Spencer's eyes lit up. "I shouldn't..." Waving his hand away, he stepped back and Vanessa rolled her eyes.
"There's no where else for you to sleep, unless you want the cold, hard ground," she fought back. "Besides, I haven't had a good nights sleep in a long time except for when I was on that plane with you. You're like my calmness generator." Spencer grinned at the phrase 'calmness generator'.
"Okay, then..."
Vanessa gave him a thankful smile and pulled over the blanket for the both of them. She laid down first and faced him as he also laid down beside her. They faced each other and all was right. Staring at each other intensely, they felt the warmth rise in the both of them. Spencer's cheeks tinted pink; luckily for him, Vanessa couldn't tell from the dark. But there was enough light to see each other's faces.
"Thank you for this," she whispered, closing her eyes. And Spencer felt his heart erupt. "Plus... you look pretty snazzy in my clothes," she laughed, and he laughed with her.
"Snazzy?" Spencer continued to laugh.
"Shhh don't ruin the moment, Spencer," she said, scooting in more.
Their faces were about a feet apart, and all Spencer wanted to do was hold her, or kiss her. But instead, he placed a gentle and warm kiss on her forehead, making her lips form into a smile. He admired her for a few more seconds, examining her perfect features: her sculptured cheek bones, her round nose, and the relax state of her all over pretty face.
They both felt completely safe with each other. Vanessa was sleeping comfortably knowing she was safe with him. And he did too. They were each other's safe haven.
—