The world is such a strange place now. There used to be a time when you needed to be in front of a person to know them. That's changed so much. Today we sit in front of computers all day long and talk to people we have never met, and will probably never meet, and we call them friends. At least I probably won't ever meet them. I am not much of a traveler. I have left the state of Texas only a few times in my life, and that was for work. I live 10 minutes from Mexico and I have not crossed the border in years. I blame that on my job. As a police investigator I've arrested or had warrants on so many guys that fled to Mexico that I really would not want to run into them there. Hell, I don't like running into anybody anywhere. So here I am. Sitting here at this computer, writing and not traveling anywhere nor meeting anybody. And that actually suits me just fine. It should then not surprise you to know that I have "met" more people on Facebook than I have ever met in real life, if you don't count the people I had to meet because of my job or when I went to school. And I was a cop, which means if I met you it was because you had a problem, or you were the problem, neither of them good positions to be in. I don't seek out people. I don't look for friends. I am kinda of "wait and see who shows up" kind of guy, I guess. Always have been and probably always will be. And if no one shows up, well, that's fine too. What else would you expect from a guy whose only real fantasies are of being a character in the stories I Am Legend, The Night of the Comet, The Walking Dead, The Road, The Night of the Living Dead, The Book of Eli...beginning to see a trend here?
There are some very cool things I do like about Facebook. For instance, I currently have daily contact with people that say stuff like bugger, guv, blimey, spot o' tea, mate, and wanker. How cool is that? Where else would I meet vegetarians? Activists? Atheists? Or vegetarians who are activists and atheists? Nowhere, that's where! For all I know they only exist on Facebook. But even if that is true, it's still more than I could ever hope for in real life. In real life people are boring, needy, pushy, and, let's face it, they can be assholes. In Facebook I get an un-friend and a deactivate button. One click and the asshole is gone. And if that doesn't work I can hit the deactivate button and Facebook is gone. OMG that is so cool!
I know what you're thinking. I never thought this guy was a people hater. Well, I'm not. I like people, I really do. I just don't need them...to know that. I have known many wackadoodles in my life, but never as many as when I got on Facebook. Here are just a few...and if I offend anyone, well, that's what the unfriend button is for.
The Writer. I am not going to mention her name but her initials are Sidney Danz (lol). I can do this because that is not her real name. The real Sidney was a cat, I think, and couldn't write a word, or so I heard. This Sidney is my favorite writer of short stories and poems. She has read a million books (well of course she has, she's been around since the printed word, it's even rumored that her first ID card is on a cave wall in France) and she is one of the reasons I have fallen in love with the written word. She has this way of writing that makes the words jump out at you and wrap around your heart, and squeeze. She is the heart and soul behind "The American Friend". A great place to go and get lost in that crazy head of hers. She writes, paints, runs, walks, bikes, makes music, and takes some really amazing pics of life in the Big Apple (there, I said it). She is very picky. She won't eat anything that ever had a heart beat. She loves cats, dogs, squirrels, and most things in nature. She is a native New Yorker who every Friday can be found at the same kitchen cutting, peeling, boiling, and serving some of the best meals you can have for just the price of standing in line. Unlike me, she flocks to people. She's makes close friends half way around the world as easily as she does at home. She cares deeply, especially about those that have been victimized or bullied. I don't know much about her younger years. I know she found the 5th Beatle or some MI6 chap and married him, or so the story goes. And I always half expect to walk into a post office and see her picture on some old wanted poster from the 70's, wanted for some crime like chaining herself to a tree or punching a hole in a whaling ship.You can find her, on some days, on Facebook spreading information you won't find most other places, blasting lying politicians, or trying to convince me to stop eating meat. Or you might find her at a protest march standing up for human rights and throwing little stuffed toy piggies or donuts at the cops. But, if you're really lucky, you'll find her at her good old desk, quietly bringing new friends to life on a page, and giving the rest of us just a little bit better understanding of our own lives in the process. For that, she has my everlasting gratitude.
Tiffany W- If there is one thing I have learned from Tiffany it's that big hearts make the best people. Tiff marches on every day no matter what the world does to try and stop her. She always finds something to make me smile. I love to see her posts. She will always find the most uplifting pictures, quotes, and videos that you can possibly find on Facebook. She is the poster girl for positivity (I am pretty sure that is not a real word, but I like it). Every day she gets up and finds things to be thankful for and she spreads it around to everyone else. If I wake up in a bad mood or am pissed at something I just make my way to her page. There I will find something to make me smile. Thanks Tiff.
Bonnie U. - If mother nature had a fan club she would be president. She posts the most wonderfully colorful pictures of everything possible thing you can find above your head and below your feet. There is almost no color in nature where I live. I did not know there were so many beautiful rocks, gems, plants, and animals before I friended her. Hell, the other day I saw I bright blue furry spider on her page. Just recently I saw a black spider with a head the shape of an Oreo cookie. That was one to the neatest things I have ever seen. Of course she might have spray painted the blue spider herself and super glued an Oreo cookie to the black spider's head, but it was still cool. Her posts of pictures of oceans, outer space, mountains, insects, and other natural wonders always leave me breathless.Aside from showing me the beauty in nature she also sticks it to the bad guys every chance she gets. If you are trash dumping, spilling oil, fracking, or simply flicking a cigarette butt out the car window-she will find you-and it won't be pretty. If I am in the mood for the beauty of nature, her page is where I go. Thanks Bonnie.
Traci - Definitely one of my favorite Facebook people ever. I can honestly say that I doubt I will ever come across another belly dancing private detective activist. What are the odds? That is so cool.
Dawn B, Jennifer W.H., Morticia M., Virginie P.D. - Let me be painfully honest here. If I had known about them 10 years back I would have thought they were crazy. Here are women who spend a great deal of time fighting for someone who they have never shook hands with or hugged, and declaring with every thing they feel that this person is innocent. Sound pretty dumb huh? Well, for the longest time I thought it was. I thought to myself that women like this are crazy. People in jail are there because they belong there. Things were black and white for me back then. Ten years ago I would have had nothing to do with women like these. But I have to admit that they were right and I was wrong. This planet needs more people like them. They fight for what they believe in. The world is a much better place because they are in it. Hell, my world is better because they are in it.
Linda R., Carol L. - If you're doing it wrong these folks are on to you already. If you're a bad cop, a lying politician, abusing animals, polluting the planet, or making money off the suffering of others, they've got your number. It really is rare to see people care about others. On Facebook we tend to find people that care about the same things so it sometimes seems that there are a lot of people out there that feel the same way as we do. But that is not true. Activists are a rare breed. People, in general, tend not to give a shit about that which does not effect them. People that stand up for others or seek to expose the bad guys of this world are the game changers of this world. They are some of my all time favorite wackadoodles.
Seamus O' Connor- I am rather confident he is an alien from another planet! If you want a good laugh or just want to read something that will make you wonder all day long, his is the page to go to. Try it. I dare you.
Terry A., Pam D., Christine B.- You will never know how strong you are until you go through what they have gone through. It is a world changing event when the justice system gets a hold of someone you care about. There are really no words for it. One day things are fine and the next day the earth is pulled out from under you and nothing is ever the same. I have learned a lot from these women. I love the way they fight. Every day is a challenge and every day they win. They are incredible.
Well, I guess I could go on forever if I didn't have to stop and eat donuts or bacon. There are many more wackadoodles on my page, of course. I love the writings and music of Paul Goldstein, the music of Paul Fairall, the acapella sounds of Johanna Maria Rose (don't call her Marie!), the funny posts of Melissa Payne, the coffee induced rants of Mary Tamez Garcia, and the painfully honest posts of Wynn Chapman. They are all great. I have attorneys, cops, reporters, scientists, doctors, private investigators, welders, writers, singers, dancers, nurses, and more scattered all over my Facebook. They are all so different. Never in my non-Facebook life would I meet such a wide assortment of people. And for that, I guess Facebook deserves a thank you.
I still wonder sometimes. Are they all real? Who knows? I have about 1500 friends on Facebook and I hardly talk to any of them. There are maybe 20 or so that I talk to with any kind of frequency. But my friend at Facebook Security (a leftover from my investigator days) tells me that there are 200 people that come to my page every single day, look around, and then leave without ever interacting with my page. They actually look for my page. And there are about 25 who do the same thing every single day and are not on my friends list or even my subscribers list. Stalkers! Just kidding, I'm okay with that. I may not be real either.
How is it going to be 5 or even 10 years from now? Will you all still be here? Will there be nothing else to us other than Facebook chats? These things cross my mind once in a while. How long can we all continue being just internet friends, and is that any good for us? I know I will never meet any of you. Not even the few I talk to regularly. That just isn't me. Whatever the case, I think I am glad to have known you wackadoodles. You spice up my life without the added expense of anti-acids. You make me learn things I would not otherwise learn. You show me things I would not have seen without you. And if that is not what friends do, then what is?