I press my hands down against the dash board, checking myself in the mirror once again. Denton looks at my from the corner of his eye and shakes his head. It's been a silent ride, but I know that we are both very nervous.
I don't want to face him. I don't want to see his ugly face. I don't want him to know that I am still afraid of him - or that he haunts my nightmares. Even more, I don't want him to know that he still effects me and what he has done might just effect me for the rest of my life.
But, I have to. I need to tell my story, the one that I have kept secret for years. The one I haven't admitted out loud to anyone. I have to re-live the past infront of a room full of strangers. And two of the most important people in my life. Roxas and Denton will be there, for both moral support and witnesses to the crime.
"You will do fine, Roni." Denton tells me for the fifth time, as we pull up to the court house. Roxas is sitting in the backseat, leaning his head against the window. He told Denton he would take his motorcycle, but Denton practically forced him to ride with us. I think it's because he didn't want to be alone with me, just in case he said something wrong - or I decide to have a panic attack before we even get started. Panic attack, I might actually have one of those. I clench my fists, feeling a harsh tingling sensation in my left one - even though the bone isn't broken anymore, it is still weak, still fragile. It could be broken again, just by doing something like slamming it in a door.
If I slam my wrist in the door, could I get out of going into the court house? Could we have a mistrial? No. No mistrials. Mistrials mean that he is dubbed innocent. He can't be innocent. I suck in a huge breath and let it out, trying to calm myself. I open the car door and step out, I'm ready.
I have my witnesses, I have my lawyer, I have my friends moral support. I have filed a suit against him. I'm ready to face this head on.
We walk through the doors and my lawyer walks up to great me. Her name is Mrs.Travis, we have met a few times in the last three weeks, went over what will be happening, what has already happened and she has met all of my witnesses. She leads me into the court room and sits me in my chair, behind the desk.The court hearing, thanks to Mrs.Travis is only has a few people in it. It's in Judge O'hearn's office. It's a closed hearing. No jury. Just me, David, our lawyers, and Denton - who is my legal guardian. Roxas wasn't allowed in for moral support, David's Lawyer was informed about Roxas jumping at him - so apparently for David's safety Roxas has to sit outside the door.
David is already in his seat on the opposite side of the room, his eyes meet mine for a few seconds and he smiles. I feel my stomach tighten and my throat close up. I don't want to do this. I faze out, not even paying attention as the judge speaks.
"Tell me what has happened, Veronica."
I open my mouth and squeeze my eyes shut as all the memories hit me like a ton of bricks.
"David Calters was my step-father. My real father died when I was six, and my mother re-married David when I was about eight. When I was ten, My mother died - leaving me in the care of David." I swallow the water collecting in my mouth as I talk. "It was fine at first, he was like a normal, caring parent. But, when I was about twelve, I came home with a really bad grade on my exam and he hit me - hard." I bite my lip, not daring to look at anyone. "Denton wasn't home, he was at his soccer practice that day. But, that day is when everything started. David started hitting me, it would go from a slap once in a while, to him beating me to the point where it hurt to move. He started taking it...further after I.. I, uh." I look at Denton who was looking at me with those pitiful eyes before turning back to the judge. "After I got my period when I was fourteen, two years ago, is when he started raping me."
I hear Denton muffle a little gasp and lay a supporting hand on my shoulder. He squeezes it hard and I look up to see him glaring at David - who doesn't look the bit remorseful. If anything his expression look somewhat prideful.
"Do you deny these allegations, Mr.Calters?" The judge asks, looking at David with small, angry eyes.
"How can I, when she tells the story so perfectly?" David laughs, it's dark and sends a nasty chill down my spine. "Only problem, there is absolutely no proof. These two never saw me 'touch' Roni. Nor does she have any hospital records of her being so called beaten 'to the point where it hurt to move'."
"Actually." My lawyer says loudly, she lays a thick file on the judges desk. "Veronica has visited many hospitals over the last three years. Every time under a different name, but her blood was always tested and they match in all of those files. I collected them from a Mrs. Jennifer Crell, the woman who would sign Veronica out - she couldn't make it here today."
I guess I didn't realize until now that Jenny can get arrested for fraud, but my lawyer assured my earlier that it would be fine. Jenny would be fine.
The judge looks over the files, "Sofia Sweeny, twisted ankle and dislocated elbow. Maria Corny, four stitches on the right leg. Isabel Rodgriguez, concussion along with stitches under her left eye. Paige Tompson, one broken rib, another one cracked, bruising on the upper body and a dislocated jaw along with a broken wrist. There are plenty more, some far worse some slightly better. I could go on for days."
I'm forced to go into more detail, how often it would happen, how I hid the bruises. I even had to explain why my brother was never around, I watched as guilt filled his eyes as I spoke. I had to go on telling them all my past persona's and my damages. Judge O'hearn looks at me with a sad expression and shakes his head before closing the folder.
"One more question, Miss Blues." She shakes her head. "Why did you not tell anyone sooner?"
"Fear." I whisper. "Fear that he would come back and get revenge. The fear of suddenly being titled as an abused child. Fear of being seen as dirty or disgusting. I was terrified of what would happen if I went on to tell someone, I thought I would be truly alone. He was connected to my mother, when she died...part of me went with her, I guess to some extent, I needed David, knowing that she loved him. I was afraid to be truly...alone."
"If you need further proof, I have also contacted the lead doctors and surgeons on those lists who had Veronica in their care. I'm sure they wouldn't mind doing a line up and proving my case." My lawyer perks up once I finished and after sitting in morbid silence.
"No need, my client does not deny the allegations." David's lawyer sighs. "He admits to what he is done and is asking for forgiveness from his daughter."
"I'm not his daughter!" I scream at the same time as Denton growls. "He is not her father."
"Court is not about being forgiven, it's about receiving punishment." Mrs.Travis chokes out a little laugh, which sounds like a snarl. "Now it's time to receive the punishment and do the time you deserve."
Judge O'hearn looks at me hard before turning to David. He squints at him dangerously.
"Would you like to explain yourself before I give my answer?"
"You could say, I was tempted to touch the kid who everyone held on a pedestal. She wasn't so special, the only thing good about her is that she looked like the only woman I have ever loved." David shrugs with a smirk.
"You're disgusting." Denton screams, jumping at him. My lawyer grabs his shoulder and gives him a stern look. We don't need Denton to be going to prison for assault.
"I agree." The judge shakes his head and lifts his upper lip in disgust. "David Calters, I hereby sentence you to forty years in prison, no bail, no chance of shortening the time with good behavior either. Now get out of my office."
Two very large police officers come in and grab an arm on either side of David, dragging him out. As he passes me, a note lands in my hand. I look around to see if anyone noticed, but it was only me. We all leave the room and I hear Denton tell Roxas what happened. Denton and Roxas shake Mrs.Travis's hand, and I slink off to the bathroom. Once I get into one of the stalls I open the later, breathing roughly and scared as to whats inside.
"This isn't over."
This isn't over, it's not over. This isn't the end. There is more. He is planning something. He will escape. Get out. Come get me. He isn't done torturing me yet. He wont be satisfied until I'm dead. What does he mean? How isn't it over? He's in prison, he can't touch me. He can't get out. It's not possible, he is only trying to scare me. He can't, I wont let him. I crumple the note and toss it in the toilet, watching as it floats to the bottom and out of sight with a flush.
I walk outside where Roxas and Denton are leaning against the car, smiling at each other. Who would of thought that my brother, who up until recently hated everything about him, would be hanging out like friends with Roxas. I guess I can bring people together. I'm happy with how things are over. I wouldn't change anything about my life right this second.
I'm done living in the past, I'm done remembering what happened to me. I'm done getting beat and bloodied. I'm done being tainted. I'm done with letting him rule my life, my thoughts and my dreams.
Whatever 'This' is, It's over. There is no 'This' anymore. I'll make sure of it.