Chapter seventeen
April appeared faster than Jungkook hoped for, almost whole three months had passed, each second that time flew forwards he felt like he was trying to control a riot. It had been officially three months since that fateful night in the forest where he was met with the most outstanding and stubborn omega in the world.
Their relationship with Taehyung was slowly developing – from strangers to familiars, and from familiars to friends.
The pack members started to accept the omega as one of them, too. It was a slow process that took a lot of time and trust to build up, but it was all worth it. Taehyung met with a few omegas, got closer to Jungkook's friends, and appeared fiercer in the soldiers' eyes with every day passing by.
Taehyung was ruthless. Where general Lee Yumi typically stuck to gentler and more positive tactics, this omega had no mercy on the soldiers as they went through their training every day. For such a small, unimposing looking person, he was absolutely terrifying.
His voice was deep and severe, and his lone eye was sharp and watchful. The wolves felt themselves trembling as he moved through his sword strikes, but it wasn't from muscle fatigue. This time, it was from realization and fear. They all knew full well that they were offering themselves up to go to war when they joined the pack's army, but the way in which Taehyung spoke and carried himself really solidified in them that they were going to war. Bloody, deadly, destructive war.
Nevertheless, their private lessons with Jungkook continued. The omega insisted he would be taught individually and separately from the rest of the wolves.
And so, it went. Jungkook increased his efforts tenfold in all his training to try to gain the omega's attention, to no avail. The positive outcome of this was that Jungkook improved a lot in his skills, dead set on reclaiming the constant attention of a certain intractable omega. He found some kind of solace in his achievements, but he would feel so much more successful if he didn't constantly feel invisible. Seokjin and Jimin offered their praise and comment often on how his body was filling out, how he was becoming so skilled, and all manner of things they found his improvement in.
He loved and appreciated it, but it simply didn't fill the emptiness he felt at the complete lack of recognition from Taehyung.
Oh, and let's not forget the responsibility Jungkook had to carry on his shoulders. Every night he would pray to his ancestors silently that he was up to the task set before him. He knew it was an enormous honor, an enormous responsibility to be handed the weight of shaping brand new alphas and betas into successful soldiers. Having Taehyung by his side was a big plus because the omega did his job almost brilliantly without any flaws or omissions. Any failure would be amplified by the fact that many of his fellow soldiers already though he was undeserving of his position.
It would reflect badly on his father's name. Some considered being the alpha's first son and second in command of this pack was an enormous accomplishment and honor, something to be revered and admired. Truthfully, Jungkook though it was hell. He was terrified of letting his father down, bringing disgrace to everything he had built up.
The young alpha simply hoped that they would have enough time for everything and that their enemies would continue to retreat for a little longer.
***
"Ah, I can't do this anymore!" Jungkook's voice was raging with annoyance. He stretched his legs and laid down on the green grass beneath him, blowing some of his raven hair out of the way when it fell into his eyes.
Today they had another private session with Taehyung and honestly the alpha didn't know what he was doing with his life. They were in the middle of the forest, surrounded by the tall crowns of the trees, sunlight peeking through the newly blossomed leaves.
The forest was more beautiful than any he had seen before. Granted, he hadn't travelled much, but never had he heard this many birds and life in one place. Out of the corner of his eyes, he could always see some branch moving, some tiny animal crawling around.
Taehyung told him at least hundreds of times to clear his mind and try to connect with his inner wolf, but he found that for absolute bullshit because thus far, he didn't feel any indifference beside the growing hunger in his stomach.
"Try harder!" The omega insisted, sitting on the opposite side of Jungkook, fingers folded together in his lap as he played with the soft material of his pants. This time he was dressed up in a plain wrap tunic and trousers, his feet bare and covered in dirt.
The alpha groaned from the ground, his arm going to cover his face. "Where is the point in trying when it doesn't work?" He peered towards Taehyung; bright eyes overcame with a vile case of disappointment.
"The point is in that if you know how to control your wolf you might as well stop him from obeying another alpha's command." The omega's tone was sharp and almost hysterically dark; the kind of tone which would usually cause a deep ocean of regret to bestow its salty suffocation upon Jungkook.
It wasn't the first time he was hearing these words spitting out of Taehyung's mouth, but no matter how many times he would hear them, his head didn't seem to assimilate the importance of their meaning.
"Still don't see a point" Jungkook said with a simple shrug of his shoulders as he stared into the trees up head, focusing on the few white clouds. He wasn't quite sure why he continued to dig himself a deeper hole. Making Taehyung angry was a daily routine to him.
"You're unbelievable!" The omega exclaimed with an exasperated sigh escaping from his cherry red lips.
"Why don't you try to teach someone else then? I'm sure they will do much better than me." Jungkook said with a glint of irritation in his tone, the corners of his eyes were twitching a bit and he had to grab a fistful of the fresh grass to stiffen back a ball of underlying fire.
The omega bit the inside of his cheek where he had irritated a rather worried welp, red and inflamed from the sharp point of his canine. There was a short pause as he thought for a second before shaking his head in dismiss. "No, I don't think this will change anything." He retorted, his tone was flat and monotone, as if something in his demeanor had suddenly changed.
Jungkook couldn't see him quite well from this angle – with him laying on the grass and his eyes locked on the bright blue sky. He used his hand to stop the light from blinding his vision, propping himself on one elbow to straighten his stance and look at Taehyung "Why? Why do you continue to give me these private lessons instead of sharing them with the rest of the wolves?" He asked the question that had been consuming him for far too long.
It didn't make sense why Taehyung decided to teach only him. There were warriors stronger than Jungkook with more accumulated experience and knowledge.
The omega rolled his eyes and gazed at the open clearing, tired of focusing his attention on one thing for so long. "Because if everyone knew how to deny an order the world would turn into a chaos." He said, precisely, the unspoken wisdom of his words spiked up Jungkook's interest.
Sighing, the alpha thought about it, then eventually nodded his head and sat up again. "Fine." He mumbled, scrunching his nose in distaste but accepting the omega's points. After all, he had known much more about true bloods than him, might as well learn from his experiences. "Let's try one more time."
Taehyung adjusted in his seat on the mossy ground and beamed at him. Jungkook could see the true beauty that came in the form of a smile. "Finally decided to listen to me?" He questioned, wiggling his eyebrow in a teasing manner, as if to emit the rightfulness of his actions and crumble down the alpha's tremendous ego.
"What are you talking about? I'm always listening to you." Jungkook said instead of showing off his frustration, not wanting to make it look like Taehyung had a point in everything he did. Of course, the omega was right most of the time (if not always), but he didn't have the guts to admit it out loud.
He didn't fail to notice the slight blush that crept out on the omega's cheeks, spreading so far to the tips of his ears. There was a silence for a moment, the air thick with an obscure tension, before their eyes met, and both felt the sudden urge to say something.
"So...what should I do?" Jungkook was the first to speak up, releasing a light cough to get rid of the lump that had gotten stuck in his throat.
Taken aback from his daze, the omega looked up at him, blinked a few times to get a clearer image of the view in front of him, and then opened his mouth to start again. "What is the strongest feeling you've ever experienced?" Taehyung asked.
Jungkook, as if not aware of this whole conversation, frowned at him. "What is this question?"
"Just answer it!" The omega said impatiently like a child to his parents.
"Okay..." The alpha stopped to think for a second. Reluctantly, he looked up at the gap in the foliage. Sunshine was coming through, meeting the pollen-packed air of the forest, shining in straight parallel lines. "Maybe...the need to protect my pack?"
Taehyung nodded. "Your people are very precious to you, aren't they?" his tone was soft. His silky blonde hair had a strange sheen to it in the orange glow of the setting sun, like there was no tone or variety to it. It beautifully complemented rich, golden skin and dark lashes, falling over large, soulful eyes.
Jungkook charged his gaze back to Taehyung and stared at him. "Yeah...but why would you ask me such a thing?" He asked, still confused.
"To check if you will get it right." The omega simply stated out, as if it were a game of twenty-one questions.
"Did I get it right?" The alpha tilted his head to the side, doubting his chances of getting the question correctly.
Taehyung sealed his lips together and hummed quietly, the blonde curls of his hair bouncing off. "Perhaps you did..." he trailed off, slightly swinging in his seat.
"What did you expect me to say?" Jungkook's dark brows darted upwards, lips parting slightly in an incredulous gape. He wasn't resigned, irritated, nor angry, feelings he had always seen associated to the tributes. On the contrary, an unusual calmness had somehow possessed his body, like the lazy and warm breeze that blew in the fields during those spring days.
"Have you ever been in love, Jungkook?" Taehyung asked instead of answering the question. Each syllable that left his mouth made Jungkook bristle, hating the way the consonants sounded and hating himself for imaging the other saying his name in other contexts. Teasing, shouting, screaming - really Jungkook wasn't picky.
"No, I haven't. Is that the answer to this question? Love?" He wanted to scoff because of how cheesy and sweet he sounded. Jungkook didn't want to let himself believe the answer of such a deep and meaningful question would be something so simple like love.
Love was supposed to be cherished, and it was. But sometimes love was confused with something else (a poison). Some people just thought that love was bad because of what it caused.
But then love could be the most beautiful thing in existence (sometimes it could be the greatest tragedy and the grandest piece of art to be ever made). And, of course, you may have your own idea of love. Anything that brought you absolution of sincerity. It made you float on air and it turned you into a better person.
"Love is a weapon, Jungkook. The most dangerous weapon of all which means the pain you should worry about isn't the kind inflected by a broken sword," Taehyung stopped in the middle of his sentence to make a short pause and place his hand flat on Jungkook's chest, right above his heart. "but the kind that comes from a broken heart."
Damn, Taehyung was good at making everything seem logical, making everything seem calculated, as if he was completely in tune with every function of his body – and he probably was. There was sincerity in his voice, the kind one couldn't mask, especially not before Jungkook, who was oh so good at reading people.
"You've never mentioned love before." Jungkook breathed out, staring at those soulful eyes.
He wanted to tell Taehyung how beautiful he found his words; how impactful they were and how much adoration he had for the omega as he watched those sentences fall from his lips. He wanted to inform Taehyung of how much joy his words provided him with, how safe and welcomed they made him feel, but he didn't. Instead, he just sat there, unsure of what to say, not wanting to let his cool walls melt so easily but also not wanting to hurt the blonde.
Jungkook couldn't help but feel like he had said something wrong, panicking when Taehyung just stared at him in dead silence, mouth opening and shutting again a heartbeat later. He looked sad, and for the first time, Jungkook noticed a slight drop in his posture, as if he was carrying the weight of something heavy. He wondered how long that had been there, or whether it was anything at all, but suddenly Taehyung looked older.
"Now I do." The omega whispered quietly. His eyes wide and dangerously innocent, scrutinizing the form of the younger boy who, if Taehyung didn't know better, would look genuinely nervous.
Jungkook appeared to have a hitch within his breath as his moribund eyes locked onto Taehyung's gaze and he had to rile up some sort of composure and self-restrain to stop himself from inching closer.
Truthfully, he didn't know anything about love, or how to know whether you were in it or not, but he couldn't help but think that it was probably not that simple. It was not like there was some sort of checklist of things you need to have to know whether you have feelings for someone or not.
Just now the realization of how close they were to each other hit them up, their faces were inches away from one another and Taehyung could feel Jungkook's hot breath fanning over his lips.
The omega glanced briefly at his baby pink lips and then back into his chocolate brown eyes, offering him a halfheartedly smile before pulling away to increase the distance between them.
And the alpha tried to pretend that the small stab of disappointment he felt wasn't really there. A twinge of heated pain burnt in his chest, because for several seconds of the illusionary time, Jungkook thought he was in love.