You are your own home.
*****
"I think you need to go find the others now" I said looking up at Elliot.
"I don't want to" Elliot replied leaning forward to lean his chin on my shoulder. I laughed pushing him away. "You don't have a choice", I stood up taller pushing him towards the door.
"Come with me" he said reaching his hand out for me to take.
"Nope, I'm going to look around for a bit, you carry on" I laughed pushing him out once more. Once he was out of sight I let out a breath of relief. Instead of following the direction that Elliot walked towards, I went the opposite way and through the exit doors, basking in the fresh air. I walked a little further finding a spot on the wall to take a seat on. It had been just over a week since Elliot had asked me out but he had also requested me to be patient whilst he planned it out to perfection. I couldn't stop a smile from slipping onto my lips as I thought back to him. He was a love came without warning; he had my heart before I could even say no. Despite knowing how I felt for Elliot, doubts crawled in like a plague and there was only one thing I could have done to get a clearer picture.
The phone rung for a couple of seconds before my mum finally answered.
"Hi, mum" I sighed into the phone.
"Oh, baby. I've missed you. Finally remember me?" mum cried into the phone. My heart clenched at the idea of not being able to hug my mum.
"I've called you everyday, mum" I laughed. "But I miss you too. So much" I choked.
"Are you okay, baby? You sound so sad" I heard shuffling over the line as my mum took a seat.
"I'm not, mum. I'm happy. So happy that it's scaring me" I admitted swapping the phone from one ear to the other.
"What are you scared about, Jess?" She asked, so I spilled. I told her about Elliot, how he came crashing in without a warning, tearing down every wall that I had put up.
"Am I being stupid? Mum, is he the one?" I sighed shutting my eyes tightly.
"Baby, if you ever wonder if he's the one ask yourself, does his laugh warm up your body inside out? Does he know that when you say that you want two scoops, it really means you want three? Do you sit in the living room and laugh hard at stupid things? Does he tell you how beautiful you are? And more importantly, when he tells you, do you believe him?" I listened intensely to my mums words.
"When he asks you what you want for dinner and you say that you're not hungry, does he ask if you've eaten today? Does he kiss you good morning? Goodnight? Just because?" she continued. "Do you know if he likes his coffee black? Or does he like sugar and cream, but not too much. Do you know when he prefers tea to coffee? I never quite figured that one out with your father, so if you have, you're already a better woman that me" I laughed at her words thinking about my father.
"Have you figured out when he's ticklish? Don't let him convince you that he's not, I promise you that he is" mum laughed over the line. "Have you frustrated the hell out of him yet? You will, oh you definitely will, but it's how you two overcome it that matters. And baby, you've realised you love him, but did you remember that you're afraid oh heights? I hope with my entire soul that you do because that means, despite your fear, you fell for him. Now, my sweet baby, you tell me, is he the one?" I stayed quite for a few seconds, feeling my heart hammer against my chest.
"I love you, mum" Is how I responded instead.
"I love you too, baby. I hope you've found your answer. Anyway, my breaks over, I need to run. I'll talk to you very soon." We said out goodbyes before I cut the phone off, putting it back into my pocket. I stayed sat for a couple more minutes before finally decided to to back inside, wanting to see Elliot as fast as I possibly could.
"Pass, ma'am." the entrance guard asked looking at me. I smiled at her throwing my hand into my pocket only to find an empty space. My eyebrows furrowed as I scanned all my other pockets but found the same empty space. I think back to where I could have put it until it finally hits me.
"Oh my god, I gave it to my friend, he's inside" I told the security guard thinking back to when Elliot took it off me to keep it to himself instead.
"Yeah, sure" the guard scoffed giving the dirtiest look she could muster.
"He definitely does, I'll get it off him and show you" I said to the guard taking a step forward to open the double doors.
"Excuse me, ma'am. You can't just enter the building like that." I felt my arms being pulled back harshly, the guard glowering at me.
"You need to let go of me, you're hurting me" I said as she dragged further outside slapping handcuffs around my wrists.
"Oh come on, that's rather excessive." I cried looking at her. Her scowl deepened.
"Shut up and sit down" she snapped and I complied not wanting to get into anymore trouble. I waited for the guard to turn around before I fished my phone out sending a frantic text to Elliot. I would have done that from the start if I had realised the guard would have acted so harshly. It had only been couple minutes before I had the double doors bang open, a seething Elliot making his way towards me.
"What the fuck? Take these off" he yelled pulling at the handcuffs. He turned around looking for the guard before showing her the entrance passes.
"Let me go get the keys" she glared at me before walking away.
"Trust you to end up like this" Elliot shook his head walking towards me. With my mums words echoing in the back on my mind, I stood up from where I was sat catching up to him, throwing my arms over his head and around his neck, pulling his lips onto my own. He instantly reciprocated wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me closer. It wasn't a rushed kiss, this time it was slow and only lasted mere seconds.
"If I get a kiss like this every time that your handcuffed, I might have to handcuff you up myself" Elliot smirked down at me.
"Take your love-fest elsewhere" the guard said walking back towards us. I sighed stepping away from Elliot, holding my hands out for the guard as she roughly unlocked the cuffs. I pulled back my wrists, rubbing them slowly easing the pain of the guards manhandling.
"Come on" I grabbed a hold of Elliot's hand dragging him inside as he glared daggers at the guard who looked extremely uncomfortable. Elliot let go of hand and instead held onto my wrist pulling it up towards his lips, planting a soft kiss.
"Why did you even go out" Elliot sighed doing the same with my other wrist. I smiled up at him.
"I had to talk to my mum about something" I answered honestly.
"About what?" he questioned leading us to Sira, Alyssa and Jacob who were now stood with the rest of the groups.
"Something" I smiled. Elliot squinted his eyes at me playfully, pecking my forehead, before letting me go to meet the girls.
"Where have you been?" Alyssa asked coming to stand next to me. "Just had to get some fresh air", I shrugged. She didn't ask anymore question as the teacher announced the end of the trip and pooled us back into the bus. Sira had sat with Josh on the way back home too, letting Elliot occupy the seat next to me. I took that as an opportunity to lean my head onto Elliot's shoulder not realising when I had fell asleep.
*****