Chapter 54: Second choice
Annabelle
I seized the chance to take in the details of his perfectly sculpted face one more time and reminisced on times I twirled his hair around my fingers while he kissed me with his cherry lips and nothing else mattered to me as long as he had his arms wrapped around me. A white polo clung to his torso, making his abdominal lines visible and he had on a casual pair of blue jeans to go.
He looked between Bassey and I, surprised I was hanging around a stranger. Still a peculiar turn of events to me too but thanks to his company, I didn't feel too miserable at the very least.
"Hi." he said once he decided to ignore Bassey.
"Hey."
Shocking. We hung out together for three months and fucked on his birthday yet here we were acting weird. But then, things didn't end on the best note the last time we saw.
"I'll take my leave now. Be good." Nurse Eunice said and gave me a knowing look before she left.
She must've figured Christopher was the guy I told her about. I had a feeling she would be back for hot gist and I would never for the life of me be able to fathom women's need to nose around.
"How are you feeling?" he took a few steps towards me, barely meeting me eyes, "I would've brought some flowers but my stepmom threatened to yank my head off for uprooting her garden the past three months."
"You..." I smiled unsurely, "you've been visiting?"
Despite what Suzan said, I feared he forgot about me and never stopped by.
"Of course, Anne. I'm glad you're finally awake." he said and my heart melted to a mush.
I smiled at him and he smiled back before glancing at Bassey again.
"Um, Bassey can you..?" I trailed off, afraid I'd seem rude.
Wow, I was really giving a shit about someone's feelings. What happened to me?
"Sure." Bassey smiled, saving me from having to tell him to get lost.
He grabbed his crutch and gave Christopher a somewhat sinister look I couldn't comprehend before leaving. Telling Bassey about my dad was the closest I'd gotten to being open to a complete stranger. I wouldn't tell anyone about Christopher and I unless I knew where my relationship with him stands.
and I know now.
"A friend?" he asked after Bassey as he sat on the chair next to my bed.
"Sort of."
The weight of what happened bore down on us and I decided to make a small talk before we delved into it.
"So your stepmom, huh? I remember you could barely say her name without choking on it."
"I couldn't tear them apart, I guess." he chuckled with a glint in his eyes, "They got married almost a week ago and to be frank, she's actually a cool person."
"So I heard. Suzan told me all about it."
"Right."
"I'm glad you all found your way back together. I almost tore you guys apart." I said and his face fell.
"No, you didn't. It was just a normal high school drama. You had nothing to do with it."
I figured he was lying to protect my feelings but he didn't have to. I had everything to do with it. Richard had sworn he wouldn't speak to him again when he moved on with Daniella just to spite me. The boys couldn't stand me and I was always with Christopher so I found a way to take him away from them too. Coming into Christopher's life, I destroyed a lot of things and left without making amends. Even Suzan and I fought before I blacked out and it was funny how I managed to turn everyone's back on me and against each other.
"I heard they came to see you." he spoke again and I smiled at the recollection of their selflessness.
"Yeah, they did. They're so kind. I didn't deserve their kind gesture."
"You're being hard on yourself again, Anna. They wanted to come and they did because that's what friends are for."
"Friends?" I sniggered and switched to a cold tone, "Why are you even here, Chris? After everything that happened, why are you still here?"
it was nice knowing you.
Sadly, I was going to send him away with the same method I was all too familiar with. Christopher looked at me in hurt.
"You don't want me here?"
yes, I do.
"Not really, no." I calmly replied and he leaned back into the seat with an expression that was least friendly.
"You're just... You're just going to blame it all on me? But I was there for you, Anne. Every fucking time. I told you everything about me. Everything! Yet you never for once told me about the abuse or, or that you were having some shitty fuckship with your best friend. I mean, come the fuck on!"
"Don't you curse at me, Chris." I warned and he stared at me in disbelief.
"That's all you have to say?"
"No, but I don't like you yelling at me so how about you shut the fuck up and hear me out."
Christopher heaved and kept quiet.
"I wanted to tell you," I said, "many times. But I was scared. I watched my stepbrother until he stopped breathing and you expect me to just talk about that messed up shit? I spent years in hiding, from the truth, from my mom, from the police, from Peter's dad, from my fucking myself. Countless nightmares and trauma and sleep paralysis... Fuck, I still hear his voice in my head. I lost everything at the age of twelve, okay?
I turned out this way as a defense mechanism, not because I had a fucking choice. I lost trust in everyone and I loathed anything with a penis from there on. I did what I did with Suzan out of spite so I don't belong to the queer community. Try to picture all that and understand how I felt when I learnt of that shitty bet on Suzan's virginity. I was planning to tell you all about it after building my trust in you but the moment I heard about your past, I gave up on you and I gave up on us.
I was a damaged piece of shit, yes, but I loved you. I didn't want to break up with you but I had to. I needed time to collect myself, Chris you didn't give it to me. Instead, you made out with Ella in the open and y'all joined hands to gang up on me and destroy what was left of my reputation. Look Chris, I'm not blaming it all on you. You were open to me when I wasn't but I can't bear all the blame too 'cause I'm just a human and I'm helpless."
Christopher held back his tears but his bloodshot eyes betrayed him. I was still as calm as I could ever be as I've moved past the stage of crying about my shitty life a long time ago.
"I'm sorry." he said and I looked away when his tears spilled out.
"I know you are. And I'm sorry too... for everything." I said to him and he nodded and wiped his face.
"When will you be discharged?" he asked after a while of utter silence and I mustered a smile.
"I've been doing a lot of exercises and using my meds so I can stand up and move a distance now. I can't wait to get my shit out of here so once my bones regain their strength, they'll let me go."
"I can't wait too." he grinned, "You scared me to death back there but I'm really glad you're back on your feet. By the way, you're still cute when you curse."
"I can still break a vase on your head. Don't call me cute." I threatened.
He laughed and my heart swelled but I willed myself not to blush lest I lost my resolve.
"I met my dad yesterday." I told him.
"Your dad?"
"Yeah. He happened to be getting some check-up done when he saw me going up to the cafe on Wednesday. He wasn't sure I was the one so he stopped by yesterday and asked to see me." I explained and he frowned.
"I don't understand. What's he doing here in Nigeria?"
"Well, he's a civil engineer and his firm got a contract with the government on a bridge construction. He has a month left before he heads back."
"Shit, that's good news. Wait, does he know...." he faltered and gave me a concerned look.
"Yes," I answered, remembering how much tears we shed together yesterday, "I told him everything and he was disappointed in my mom. I didn't intend to make him sad but I had to explain my current situation to him."
I saw his dejected look and quickly added, "I didn't tell him about the tape so you're good."
I had to protect Christopher's image at all cost. It was the least I could do to appreciate the fun times he shared with me.
"Oh." he remarked.
"I'm happy with him."
"You are?" he inquired and I nodded excitedly.
"I have half sisters, Chris. He and Lilian gave birth to twin girls a year after my mom's divorce. They're both seven years old now."
"Wow, that's great."
"I know. I can't wait to meet them."
"I might have to pick up a pen and paper to figure out your family tree now." he teased and I laughed.
"Since when did you become so sarcastic?"
"I always had it in me." he lied and looked down.
"Too bad, my family tree won't be so hard to sketch once I'm back to being Rose Turner."
"What?"
shit.
"Um, about that." I made a nervous titter, "My name is Rose."
"What?" he deadpanned and I mentally cursed myself for blurting it all out this way.
"Chris... my name's not Annabelle. Well, it is but it's not my first name."
"Make it make sense. What are you talking about?"
"My last name is Turner and my mom and dad named me Rose and christened me Annabelle. When they divorced, I moved to Abuja and refused to change my last name and bear Rose Johnson like they suggested but after... Peter, I figured I had to change my identity.
So I told everyone my name was Annabelle Johnson since they wouldn't think I'd claim their family name. It's all a twisted joke, I know but technically, I never lied about my name. I'm Rose Turner but at a point in my life, I had to bear Annabelle Johnson to remind myself of who I was." I explained and he stared at me in disbelief.
"All this while and you were actually Rose Turner? I never called you by your name? You know, the moment I feel like I've figured you out, another secret just pops out of nowhere. Let me guess, you hair is fake too?" he spat, rising up on his feet.
"No. Actually yes, but try to understand me, okay? I had natural curls since birth and I started straightening it out when I was seven because I didn't like it. You have to understand that people were looking for me and I had to stop keeping a straight hair when I met Suzan and her mom so it went back to these frizzy curls."
Christopher clenched his fists and flipped the chair he'd sat on against the wall. Fortunately, the chair didn't break but the wall suffered an indent.
"Chris, stop!" I yelled but he turned to my bedside table and swept down everything on it to the floor.
Stepping over the shattered pieces, he moved to grab the vase that contained all the flowers I received during my stay here.
"Christopher!" I screamed and thankfully, he let go of it before he bashed it against a wall or threw it at me.
Bassey opened the door just then and peered into the room.
"Is everything okay?" he asked and I figured he was listening on our conversation the whole time.
"Yes, everything is fine."
"Get the fuck out!" Christopher barked at him but Bassey ignored him.
"Are you sure?" he asked me again, "I can call security."
"No, don't. Everything is fine." I told him.
"I said scram!"
Bassey didn't budge until he saw my reassuring look and limped away again.
"You need to leave." I told him with every bit of energy I had left. "Now!"
"I'm not leaving. What else are you not telling me?" he demanded while keeping his anger at bay.
I always knew he had trouble controlling his anger but I never witnessed him blow up like this. I glanced at the hole in the wall and took in a deep breath. I could see now that he and I were oil and oil. We only ever made the fire burn a whole lot brighter until everything was destroyed.
"I kissed Bassey." I said and he staggered back like a drunkard.
"You what?"
"I said kissed Bassey." I stated and his shoulders slumped in defeat. I was just as defeated and tired as he was.
"When?"
"We met just two days ago and we've been talking. Nothing's official yet but I'm trying to move on, Chris. You should too."
"The irony." he chuckled sadly and asked, "You like him?"
"Yeah I do. We broke up for real, okay?" I lied without much effort and he nodded tiredly.
"I'm moving back to America with my dad next month and I'm looking forward to starting my life over. I'm also going to be on therapy before I leave for school next year. It's high time I got help from the right people."
Christopher sniffed and wiped his face again. "I'm.. I don't even know what to say anymore."
With hands slightly trembling, I reached around my neck and unhooked the necklace. Once it came off, I gave one last look at our ship name on the pendant before giving it to him.
"Here."
He nipped the necklace from my palm and I folded my arms and looked elsewhere. Then I heard him leaving and I shut my eyes as my tears threatened to surface.
"I wish you the best. I really do." he softly said and stepped out just as my face streaked of warm tears.
And I cried and whimpered just as the gloomy sky outside released a heavy downpour too, fogging the windows and deafening me with all my fears.
"You told him you like me?"
"He didn't buy the lie." my lips quivered at the sad truth, "He had to leave and I only made it easier for him."
Bassey quietly sat down beside me and hugged me while I cried out the rest of my heartache.
~~~
Tracy
I was curled up on the sofa watching Tom and Jerry on the plasma Tv. My mom would not be back till late in the night and Tristan was in his room packing his bags. His break had come to an abrupt end and he was heading back to school the next day. I knew I would miss him terribly especially now that I had no friend, no boyfriend, no crush, nothing much left to my lonely self to while away time.
Watching Tv didn't help my numb spirit one bit and rather worsened it because I was reminded of Christopher from time to time. I zoned out for the most part, busy day-dreaming of the jerk I've come to know for a month. The heavy rain volunteered in aiding my sad and glum feelings and there was just something about rainy days that made me look out the window, knowing I was trapped indoors along with your gnawing thoughts. It made me view my life under a microscope and question choices I've made in the past.
I miss Chioma. I thought and subbie pulled down her specs. oh do you now? Sorry, I wasn't so sure after you called her a whore.
My dad's thick sweater buried my skinny body and the black socks on my feet escaped under my black joggers so that only my face was free of clothing. Daniella called earlier to remind me of the photo shoot she arranged for me the coming Tuesday after I must've signed the record deal at the records firm in Lagos with my manager on Monday. I've had to thank her over and over again for rendering such a selfless help without asking a dime in return.
As excited as I was, I've been camera shy since I was a kid and the poses I practiced in front of my mirror were just dumb. But Daniella was promising an extreme makeover and outfits hunting with her at a mall to boost my confidence before I got in front of a camera.
sounds excruciating.
Again, I longed for Chioma's guidance since this was her specialty but I've been an absolute coward to go see her face to face. She ignored my texts and calls and I got the hint she was not over it yet. The longest we've gone in avoiding each other was four hours and we just naturally got back together because she desperately needed to share a gist or I was dying to show her a meme I saw online. This was our biggest fight so far and I still couldn't believe a boy was the reason.
My phone shrilled beside me, cutting into my pitiful thoughts. I could as well switch off the Tv and get completely lost staring at the blank screen since it's been pretty much forgotten this whole time. I quickly picked up the android and was disappointed to see it wasn't Chioma calling, but then my heart drummed against my ribs when I took a second look at the caller ID.
Chris?
I saved his contact as Jerk, he had to be the one. Swallowing, I swiped my thumb on the screen to pick the call.
"H—Hello?" I stuttered.
"T–Tracy."
"You're not funny." I spat. "What's that noise?"
"T–Tracy, l–let me in."
"Stop mimicking me, you jackass."
"I... I'm not."
Making out the noise on the other end as the heavy rainfall, I dropped my feet to the floor and wore my Mickey mouse slide slippers, taking my phone to the other ear.
"Are you outside my place?" I demanded and sprinted to the window.
I didn't think he would come for the tutorial again after everything and it was past twelve already, he couldn't be here for that.
"Yeah. D–d'you mind me c–coming in? I'm drenched."
With my heart drumming harder than ever, I hung up and swiped the gate's key off the table. And I grabbed the umbrella at the corner of the room before dashing out. The rain was pouring so hard, I could barely sight Christopher through the noisy storm. Mumbling to myself on how stupid he was despite being a nerd, I opened the umbrella and tiptoed to the gate.
His hair was splattered to his forehead and he was dripping wet when I got to him. The last time I saw him, he was burying his face into mine in that animalistic way that's come to linger in my imagination. He waited patiently for me to undo the lock and let him in and my heart ached as he stood hunched with stiff shoulders. His visible abs through the white polo was the only thing I had the rain to thank for.
"Where's your car?" I asked as he slid in with quivering pale lips.
"At the h–hospital. I took a cab down here instead."
"Oh."
I'm sorry I asked.
I had a billion and one questions to ask but decided to help him out of the rain first. He got me tiptoeing and stretching higher to get the umbrella over his head and he smiled and collected it from me.
"You need to g–grow up, shorty." he said once we got to safety of the veranda.
"Call me short one more time, I dare you." I spat and he smirked like the cocky brat he was.
"What are you going to do? F–Fight my knees?"
I rolled my eyes and bit on my lip to keep from smiling. Despite his tease, I couldn't be any more glad he was here. We went back in and to avoid drenching the sofa and the rug, Tristan offered him his clothes to change into, but after having a good laugh at Christopher's clattering teeth first. I left again to wring out my wet socks in the verandah and have them drip dry on the hanger.
Christopher came out clad in Tristan's button up shirt and slacks shortly after I got back in and he was foolishly smiling down at himself.
"Yeah, we get it. You look hot in everything."
"Actually, it's just weird that I'm wearing your brother's clothes." he said and shivered.
"Sit down. I'll go get you a blanket and make hot tea." I told him and left.
The blanket was too short for him so he had to snuggle up on the sofa and I handed him the mug of tea and went to take a seat.
"Thanks." he said and took a sip.
"So..." I started nervously, "How's Annabelle?"
He tensed up either because of my enquiry or the aftermath effect of the cold.
"She's... fine." he replied and sat down the mug on the chestnut table, "Better than I expected."
I felt a pang of jealousy that he had gone to see her and she turned out fine. I was hoping for news of her having memory loss or something.
"Cool." I lamely responded and he remained quiet, "You guys are back together?"
I was so throwing him back into the rain if he gave me a yes. It's bad enough he made me feel like there was some hope for us when he kissed me. He had better not reconciled with his girlfriend and be back here to rub it in my face.
"No. She um... She broke up with me. Again."
My heart sang a song of joy with my pulses drumming a fast tempo beat to it.
"Oh." I said in opposite to the chaos within me.
"I came to see you, Tracy." he said, peering into my soul with his blue eyes. "Remember when you said at the cabin that you like me? I felt the same way about you. I still do. I just didn't see it clearly at first but I do now. I've been fighting my feelings for you but no matter how hard I try, they're still there. That kiss, it... wasn't a mistake. I like you. No, fuck that. I love you. I really do."
My heart was a paroxysm of fluttering mess and desire now. These were words I've longed to hear from him a long time now. This absolute gorge that infected me with a heartthrob since the very first day we met was right in front of me using I, love and you in the same sentence. I wanted to be a helpless mush at his feet right then but I would be a fool to jump right in his muscular arms.
Once a player, always a player. I should never think he could change for me, right? Not to mention this was the same method he used on Suzan. He turned down her feelings for him only to crawl back because of a bet but in my case, because his girlfriend dumped him again.
"No." I blurted before I could fully comprehend my thoughts and the pain of rejection was evident on his face.
"No?" he breathed.
"Chris, I won't jump into your arms for being your second choice. You only say you love me because Anna left you. I like you, okay? I really like you but I'm not going to be your second option. A queen should never be anybody's pawn."
you just had to steal Cookie's line. Subbie rolled her eyes but smiled proudly and gently sipped on her tea.
Thαnks fσr the vσtєs, cσmmєnts αnd suppσrt.
It's time to stan your favorite, y'all. Apparently, both girls turned down our lover boy.
Chriscy or Chrisan... or is it Chrose? (:
Adios.
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