(I know it has been a long ass time since I last posted but yeah. Here is the scene that i wanted to write so have it)
Severus had left early the next morning, leaving me to sleep peacefully in his bed. It came to a surprise when he wasn't beside me.
I urgently sat up and searched the room for him, panicking silently as I attempted to keep my composure.
A knock sounded on the door and I quickly opened it, hoping to see Severus.
It was not, in fact, whom I was praying that it would be.
"Ah, y/n..... had a fun evening, I see." Professor Dumbledore stated, rushing into the room. "You're actually who I wanted to speak to. Would you like me to bear the truth straight out or shall I butter you up first?" He asked.
I ruffled my brows with confusion as I ran my hand along the end of my shirt. "Um.... I suppose you should just tell me."
The headmaster smiled widely. "Marvelous. Getting straight to the point. I love it-"
"Can you just tell me, sir?" I cut him off. He stared at me for a moment.
"You're not going to like this...."
I inhaled sharply and ran a hand over my face before I forced a smile onto my face. "Sir. If you will?"
"Right. How do I put this..... okay so you're sleeping with your professor, which I know, most of the school assumes, and severus regrets. Well now I've been forced into a position where either I get fired and replaced or I break you two up.... Your potions master was more than happy to go with the latter.... Um..... yeah. Thats pretty much all I have to s-"
I turned around before he got the chance to finish.
"Y/n?" He called after me.
I fought back tears as I quickly gathered my things from the previous evening and pushed past him, leaving the potions professor's quarters.
I didn't know what I was going to do, but I went to where I assumed Professor Snape was and pushed the door open.
Not surprisingly, he sat with his head down and his fingers curled around a quill. When the door busted open, his eyes immediately lifted to whomever had force throught it.
I visibly saw Professor Snape's eyes widen as I approached him. "You're a fucking asshole, you know that." I said quietly as I stared into his eyes.
He stood up and set his quill down before he approached me. "He told you, didn-"
"Yeah, of course he fucking told me."
Severus sighed and reached toward me, pressing his hand on my shoulder. "Darling-"
I pulled away from him. "Dont touch me... don't even look at me. I came here to ask you why but I don't think I even want to know anymore...."
Severus glanced up from the floor and tried to make eye contact with me once again. "Sweetheart-"
I turned around, rushing back into the halls as I finally let the tears go.
The rain pelted down, raindrops the size of bullets. The streams had overflowed from the excessive water adding to the creeks. The black lake bounced as each drop landed upon the surface. The water turned the gardens to muddy messes, making the flow it followed turn a mucky brown.
Fred and George had refused to wake up and so I decided to go for a stroll outside just for the hell of it. It couldn't hurt me any, could it?
Well, even if it did, I still wanted to go walking out in the rain because fuck the patriarchy.
My feet carried me outside. "Shit I forgot- nevermind. I don't need an umbrella." I shrugged once I had left the castle. Who needed an umbrella? Pshhhh. Not me apparently.
I glanced up at the sky as it cried violently down onto the earth. Damn. Need a tissue? I thought. (You don't have to laugh at that, but that was funny)
I shook my head, clearing my throat slightly before I decided to walk down the path that was drenched with water. There was no escaping the rain, so why avoid it?
It would have been a rather peaceful walk if I hadn't seen the dark figure approaching me. That wasn't terrifying at all. A random figure approaches you with no one around? Psssh. I see that everyday. Obviously.
"Ms. Y/L/N? Is that you?" Called the unmistakable voice from a distance.
"Erm....no?" I yelled back, panicking silently inside of my head as the figure began to approach at a much quicker rate than before.
"Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit." I muttered as I turned around, trying to hide my face as I frantically looked around for a place to hide.
Too late.
"What on earth are you doing out here in this weather?" Professor Snape asked, his hand landing upon my shoulder. It was cold. Like usual.
Despite the frigid rain and the Potion Master's freezing hand upon my shoulder, I felt a kind of warmth envelop me. It was a strange contrast between the three tempatures.
I lifted my gaze from the floor to find his hand waving in front of my face. "Are you there still?" He asked.
"Huh? What?" I responded, looking around. "Hmm?"
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he looked down at me. "Why are you outside....with a thin coat.... and umbrellaless?"
I raised my eyebrows. "Oh! So we care about one another again? Cool. Cool."
The smile that once rested upon his face disappeared in a matter of seconds when the words left my mouth. "I deserve that." He muttered loud enough for me to hear.
I hadn't intended for the words to just spew out like that. In fact, I preferred that they were well thought rather than thought on impulse.
The rain above my head stopped as I witnessed a black umbrella land above me. "This might stop some of the cold.... you're freezing, darling. Why don't I escort you back inside?"
His hand moved from my shoulder to my cheek. I grabbed his hand and removed it from my face, placing his hand on his own chest before I retracted my own. He looked at me with confusion. I sighed and turned around, walking away from him back into the rain. He closed the contraption and tossed it aside as he grabbed my hand and turned me around once more. "I'm sorry. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? I'm sorry." He said loudly. A small sigh escaped his mouth, "I'm sorry! Okay?! I'm. Sorry."
I took a few steps away from him and turned around once more, walking down the drenched path with annoyance. I heard his footsteps behind me and sighed, stopping my own feet. "Stop following me."
"Why?"
"Because, I don't want a person like you in my presence right now. I just wanted to go for a happy walk but even you ruined that." He took a few steps ahead of me, turning around so he could see me.
Professor Snape stood in the rain, his eyes looking between my own as he frantically searched my face for any expression. "So what now? What am I supposed to do Severus? Just forgive you for using me? What are you so afraid of-"
"I think I'm in love with you!" He yelled out, cutting me off. "What am I so afraid of? Everything, y/n! I'm afraid of everything! I'm falling for my student. And I hardly even know you. I can't do this! I can't be your friend, I can't be your lover, hell....I'm even having a hard time being your professor. I don't know how to feel when I'm around you. My heart flutters, my stomach fills with butterflies, my thoughts fill with you. I'm a mess when I'm without you. The only thing I think about is you and how much you affect me. I think I love you! Okay?! And if you say, 'hey go away' I will. I don't know what we are. But what I want us to be can't happen."
I stood, shocked, to say the least. My mind was blank. I had absolutely no idea what to do or say. He looked at me with anticipation as he waited for me to respond. "Please say something."
My eyes drifted to his own, my mouth dry. "I don't know what you want me to say. That I love you back? That I have feelings for you? That I am just going to forgive you? I can't do that! Thats not how this works Severus. I- I'm sorry. I can't do this with you right now-" I stopped when he grabbed my hand. Water was trailing down his face, though I wasn't sure if it was tears or rain.
"Please don't leave me. Please? No one has ever stuck with me this long before. When I look at you... I can sense it. There's something that makes me feel...loved. I..I look at you.... and... please don't go away. Please?"
I inhaled sharply. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you. I don't think I have ever cried so many times than I have when I am ignored...no...abandoned by you..."
"I know- I am sorry. I can't stop doing that because I don't know how to admit things, and that hurt a beautiful, amazing, wonderful person such as yourself. I am so so so sorry, y/n. But here I am now."
I looked at his face as my throat went dry. "And that is really lovely, but now you're just like them. You're just apologizing for something that you aren't admitting."
His gaze trailed up to my own as he frantically searched my face. "I know." He responded hoarsely. "I am very sorry. And if you want to walk away, that's okay. I don't want to be alone. I can't help but push people out of my life when I get too attached. But here I am. I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl.... asking her to love him."
(If you get that reference, bestie i love you)