It was New Years Eve, and I couldnt seem to think about anything but how much I missed everyone. I was sitting in my room, staring at the pages of a book, but not reading.
"You havent turned the page in a good minute." A smooth voice said, making me jump. I looked to the door to see Loki, leaning against the doorframe. I flipped the page and he smiled. He walked to me and stood, staring down at me. "Something's on your mind." I closed the book and glanced down.
"How can it only be three years? It feels like it's been a hundred." I asked, quietly. He sighed, quietly.
"You cant keep doing this. I know you miss them, but, wallowing has never done any good." His words stung. I looked up, hurt. "Sorry, that was harsh." He said, staring to the floor. "I just...I hate seeing you so distraught."
"How can you expect me to act like nothing happened?" He looked back up, eyes sad.
"That's not what I'm saying."
"Then, what are you saying?" I felt a tinge of anger.
"I'm saying that you cant spend all this time, sitting alone, locking yourself up, and mourning." I set the book down next to me, with an angry thud.
"Then what am I supposed to do, Loki? Walk around as if everything is fine?" I spat, sitting forward.
"Yes!" He said, throwing his hands up. "Yes, because that's what you have to do." He looked at me, an unreadable expression across his face. "We are going to bring them back, but we cant if you're always shut away." Anger and fear boilied inside me, mixing into a dangerous emotion.
"And what if we can't?!?!" I shouted, standing up from my chair. "What if we cant get them back, huh? What then?" I asked, voice sad and fearful.
"Then we accept it." The words burned like an inferno.
"How can you say that?" I whispered, looking away. "How can you care so little?"
"Oh, You think I dont care?" He asked, hurt.
"You act like you dont. You act like nothing is wrong, like nothing happened." I looked to him, anger in my eyes. "And you expect me to do the same." I could feel hot tears forming in my eyes. "They were my family, and you expect me to just, walk away from it all."
"How could possibly you be so close to them? You've known them for no less than a month." He asked , looking into my eyes. I stood, digging my nails into my palm, to keep myself from crying, or screaming.
"I never got a family!" I said, a bit too loud. "They were the closest thing I had to one." I dropped my head down, and a tear fell, hitting the carpet. "And I watched as half of them turned to dust."
"I went through the same thing as you, Y/N, I was there, too." Loki said, with a hint of anger.
"Then why do you act like you weren't?!?" I whipped up to face him. "Tell me, because I have to know how you are so okay." My hands were shaking. "Why? why do you never show any emotion? Why do you shut me out, why do you shut everyone out? Why do you act like you dont care?"
"BECAUSE IT HURTS TOO MUCH!!" He roared, face twisted in anger. I jumped at his reaction. "It-it hurts too much..." he said, sinking down to the ground and leaning against a chair. He looked at me and his face changed from sharp and angry, to soft and sympathetic. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shout." I knelt next to him, immediately regretting everything I had said.
"Hey, dont be sorry. I was pushing it." I said, softly. He looked down, distraught. "I shouldn't have been so hard on you." I pulled him to me, in a tight embrace. "Shit, I hate fighting." We let go, looking at each other. "I'm sorry for thinking you didn't care. I know that you do."
"We are going to get them back, I know we are." Loki said, brushing a hand down my cheek. He smiled as he gazed into my eyes. "But, for now, we have to be strong."
"I dont know how to be..." I looked down, distraught.
"You are the reason I am staying strong." He tilted my chin to face him. "Let me be your reason."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Owies ma heart
Saw this and thought it was funny lmao