It's Amanda who convinces Niall to go with the men. She takes his hand and leads him across the room to them where he looks down at the floor and holds his bunny beneath his chin and sniffs.
"I'm gonna be brave," he whispers, eyes flicking up to the two men who're supposedly his parents. He doesn't know what to believe. Everything is muddled and mixed up and a complete mess, and he wishes he could just wake up on his Dad's lap in their living room and for this to be all a dream but — it's not. It's real and he just wants to keep crying until his Daddy comes to get him.
It's the darker man who makes the first move. He crouches down in front of him and smiles, eyes watery but kind, reaching out tentatively to place a hand just beneath his shoulder and the top of his arm. Niall wants to flinch or yell, 'cause his Daddy always tells him the rules when he takes him out to the corner shop or lets him play outside or takes home to work with him — if a stranger touches him, he has to yell or run.
Except these men, Zayn and Harry, they're not strangers. Not really. He sees them and he knows that he's seen them before, maybe just in dreams or maybe in real life, but he knows. He just doesn't remember. All he remembers is his Dad and their house and Ms Jennifer and Bunny.
The thought of going out there now, with these people who aren't strangers but aren't his parents either, it frightens him. Going anywhere without his Dad is against the rules and it isn't safe, and now he's got to break that rule and that means he isn't gonna be safe.
His heart is racing inside of him and his shoulders are still hitching with the remnants of sobs as he peers across at Zayn.
"It's okay to be scared," the man assured him quietly again, thumb rubbing back and forth over his arm. "You don't have to be brave, just...just trust us. We love you, Niall, and we want to take care of you and keep you safe. You're safe with us, alright?"
Niall wants to believe the words so badly, but he knows that they can't be true.
"You're not safe when I'm not around," his Dad's voice echoes in his mind.
He just chews his lip and nods, sniffling as he looks back down at the ground. Amanda lets go of his hand and leads them out into the hallway and then towards the front doors.
It had been dark last night, when he'd been brought here. He'd been curled up in the back of a police car with a thick blue blanket wrapped around his shoulders and his face buried into Bunny, sobbing — he hadn't taken the time to look out of the window or take in any of his new surroundings.
So when the front doors open and everything is bright and loud, a crowded car park before a busy main road filled with queues of cars and beeping horns, he flinches and falls back, not following the two men, the officer and the social worker out of the building.
The tallest man with the curly hair and gentle face, Harry, is the first to notice. He glances over his shoulder then his features soften and he turns around, walking back towards Niall and holding a hand out to him hesitantly. Niall glances at the offering and then up to the man, chest heaving as he tries to suck in a breath through a throat that feels like it's closing up.
"It's okay," Harry whispers; the man that is supposedly his true father looking so honest that Niall almost believes him.
He swallows down his fear and turns his gaze back to the outstretched hand offered to him before reaching up with his own smaller one and wrapping his fingers around the man's palm. Harry smiles and his eyes look all shiny like he might start to cry again, which makes Niall's stomach go all twisty.
"It's okay," the man repeats quietly, and then he slowly leads Niall out of the entrance, into the winterish sunlight that shines on the icy concrete beneath their feet and reflects off the windshields of the parked cars.
Niall squints under the brightness of it all, Bunny tucked close beneath his free arm, he tucks his face into the fur of his head.
Zayn stands on his other side, glancing down at him. "Okay?" He asks softly.
"Loud," he mumbles, because where he lives with his Daddy, it's never so noisy. It's always quiet and calm and peaceful, they barely ever see anybody when they go to the shops, or even to the place where his Dad works.
Harry's thumb brushes over the back of his hand softly. "It is pretty busy today, huh? It'll be quieter once we get in the car," he tells him.
Niall says nothing, just pushes his face further into Bunny's fur and stays silent even as Amanda kneels down in front of him, offering a soft smile.
"I'm not coming with you to the house, Niall, but I'll be by tomorrow to check in," she says softly, and he chews his lip and stares at the woman. She reaches out and rests on open hand on his chest. "You're going to be fine, sweetheart. You've got this."
He sniffles, because he doesn't want to have this. He wants to have his Dad and his home and — and all the other things he lost last night when the police came and took him away.
He blinks at the woman and then lifts his head a little to speak. "Y-you'll get me and take me to my Dad, when — when you find him?" He asks quietly, shoulders slumping when Amanda gives him that sad look that grown ups always get when they have to say no to something.
She shakes her head and moves her hand away from him, using it to tuck her hair behind her ear instead. "We've been over this, haven't we?" He gives a dismal nod, vision blurring with tears as he sniffles. "And you know the answer, don't you?"
Bottom lip wobbling, Niall's eyes fill to the brim and eventually spill over, tears rolling down his cheeks once more. "But — but he does love me, he does. He'll come get me by himself even if you don't let him."
Amanda just sighs and shakes her head again. "Niall, I think you know that isn't how it works. Your Dad and Papa, your real parents, they're taking you home now and you're going to live with them. And I'll be there tomorrow to have a good talk about a bit of everything, okay?"
Niall stares at her for a moment more before ignoring the question and burying his face into Bunny again, shoulders shaking with barely suppressed sobs.
He hears Amanda stand up and speak quietly to the two men before Harry is gently tugging his hand again and they're walking across the car park. He looks up only when they stop in front of a large silver car, much shinier and newer than the one that his Daddy drives around. When the door opens, it's smooth instead of creaky, and in the back there's a strange blue seat with cartoon fishes all over it on top of the actual seat.
"Louis' a little mad on Finding Nemo at the minute. We'll buy you your own booster seat but for now, you can take his," Harry says gently, crouching down in front of him again and smiling at him. "You all set to climb on in, honey?"
Niall looks at the seat and then back to the man, nibbling his bottom lip and nodding. He slips his hand out of Harry's and climbs up into the car, settling into the strange seat and wiggling around until he's comfy. Harry leans across him to pull the seatbelt over his chest and waist and he leans back and watches, drying his eyes on Bunny's head and cuddling the stuffy close.
Once the belt clicks into place, Harry steps back and just stares at him for a moment. Niall stares back, waiting for the man to say or do something, but he just gets that strange look in his eyes again and tears up, quickly ducking his head and closing the door softly, climbing up into the front passenger seat next to Zayn.
Niall pulls his legs up onto the seat in front of him and stares at the back of the men, watching as Zayn turns on the engine and frowning a little when it doesn't splutter or take several minutes to get it up and running. Both of them turn to look at him with gentle eyes and soft smiles.
"You comfy back there, honey?" Harry asks quietly.
Niall just nods.
Zayn nods back. "Sure you don't want your Dad to sit with you? Some company?"
He shrugs. He wants his real Dad to come sit with him, but he doesn't say that because he doesn't want them to cry again.
Harry smiles. "I'll come join you," he says, seemingly having composed himself from whatever came over him a second ago. Niall doesn't say anything still as he watches the man climb out of the front seat and then walk around the car to climb into the seat behind Zayn's, buckling himself in and then tilting his body inwards toward Niall.
"Alright," Zayn breathes from the front, adjusting the rear view mirror so that he can see Niall and smiling at him in the reflection. "Lets get going, shall we?" He reverses out of the parking space and Niall cranes his neck around to watch out of the back window as they leave the large station building behind and pull out into the traffic of the main road.
He turns back in his seat and fiddles with Bunny's ears, sitting the stuffy on his knees and tilting his head to look at him, wondering if his Dad took anything from home when he left to make him think of Niall. He hopes so, because he knows the man is missing Niall just as much as Niall misses him, he has to be.
"Louis and Liam are at Uncle Cal's after school until later in the evening," Harry says softly from beside him, and Niall's head snaps up at the sudden conversation, turning to look at the man and lifting a hand to wipe away the tears that have stilled on his cheeks from earlier. "Your brothers," the man clarifies.
Niall just gives a tiny nod. He doesn't have brothers. Daddy always says that Niall is all he needs and that's how it is. He's always wanted brothers or sisters though, because he does get lonely a lot when his Dad's at work and Ms Jennifer leaves and it's just him in the house until Dad comes home. He's never bored when his Dad's there.
"They're not coming home until later this evening," Harry carries on, peering at him almost hopefully. "So it's just gonna be the three of us until then, plenty of time to get you settled in and comfortable, see if we've got any of Liam's old clothes that'll fit you or maybe some of Louis' things since he's only a couple years younger than you."
Niall glances down at his pyjamas and shrugs. "I like my Star Wars trousers. I got lotsa Star Wars stuff at home, we — we can just go get it while I'm stayin' with you for a bit," he says, looking up at the man with wide eyes.
Harry hesitates, then shakes his head. "I don't think we can, just yet. I think an officer might be dropping off your things later on in the week, but until then, we've got plenty of stuff that we can bundle you up in," he tacks on, forcing cheerfulness.
Niall's shoulders slump and his chest aches pitifully with the longing to just go home, where everything is familiar and secure. His thumb finds his way to his mouth and he pulls Bunny close to his chest again.
Zayn speaks up from the front then, because Harry stays quiet and looks sad again. "Hey, bud, I was a bit of a Star Wars fan myself back when I was a kid. I've got the original three on DVD at home," he tells him, smiling at him in the mirror again as they traipse slowly through the traffic.
That lifts his spirits a little. He loves watching movies at home, especially when his Dad's there, but even when he's by himself they're enjoyable. He moves his thumb out of his mouth and wipes it on Bunny's fur. "Star Wars is only my forth favourite. My first favourite is Iron Man, and then Spider-Man and Avengers."
Zayn lets out a soft laugh at that, nodding. "I figured you were a Marvel fan when I saw the socks," he says, and Niall glances down at his Iron Man clad feet and then smiles, sniffling back his tears and nodding.
"Uh-huh."
"What else do you like?" Harry asks quietly, turning in further towards him.
Niall shrugs and strokes the top of Bunny's head. "I like animals. I — we went to a petting zoo once and that was the best day in my whole entire life," he states, then pauses to think. He shrugs his shoulder right up to his ears after a second. "I guess I like colourin' and stuff. And playing with my toys. And playin' in the garden when it's sunny...me and Daddy do puzzles together sometimes, and he reads to me lots."
Niall watches as the men exchange glances at the mention of his Dad, chewing his lip nervously and waiting for the correction. But Harry just forces a smile and nods.
"You always liked colouring when you were really little. You were heavy handed back then though, always pressed the nibs in on all the felt tips," he murmurs fondly, shaking his head. "Your favourite bed time story was Jack and the Beanstalk. Do you remember that?"
He pauses again and then shakes his head. He really doesn't. "I watched a movie of it but I don't 'member a book..."
"Do you have many friends, Ni?" Zayn asks from the front, and Niall smiles, nodding quickly.
"Uh-huh! I got Ms Jennifer," he says, then frowns in confusion when Zayn looks sad.
"I mean...other little boys or girls, buddy. You know, kids your own age?"
"Oh," he breathes, before shaking his head. "I — I played with the little girl from next door in the garden before, but Daddy got mad — not, not really mad, he — he was just — it's 'cause she was a stranger and that's against the rules," he says.
"Rules?" Harry asks softly, glancing at Zayn before looking back to him with furrowed brows. "What were the rules?"
Niall shrugs, looking down at Bunny as he plays with his ears. "No talkin' to strangers, no going anywhere without Daddy, and only answer the door when he does the special knock," he falters at that, looking up nervously. "That's why I didn't answer the door last night, 'cause the police people were bangin' on the door extra loud, and that's not the special knock, and that means danger."
Harry looks at him for a long time then, before he glances away and nods. "It's...it's good not to speak to strangers and...and not to answer the door if you don't know who's there. But it's good to do things with other people. Like go to school and make friends, play outside with other kids your own age. You know, Louis, your little brother, he's six. I'm sure he'd like you to join in with a few of his games. And Liam, he'll probably want to teach you how to play football in the garden. Have you ever played football?"
Niall shakes his head, chewing his lip nervously. "Football's bad. Daddy says people get hurt, he doesn't even let me watch it on the TV."
"It's not all bad. We wouldn't let Li play it if we thought he'd get hurt."
Niall just keeps chewing his lip, glancing out of the window and gasping when they finally get out of the traffic and drive through the city. He's never seen so many people, walking all bundled up in coats and scarves, carrying filled shopping bags, flooding in and out of colourful stores. He sits up on his knees and keeps Bunny tucked under his arm, clutching at the base of the closed window and watching through the glass with wide eyes as a man walking five big dogs walks by. He hasn't seen somebody walk five dogs at the same time before.
"Woah," he breathes, pressing his face up against the glass. He hears Zayn chuckles from the front but doesn't drag his eyes away from outside even as the man speaks.
"It's busy today, huh?" He says, and Niall nods, lifting a hand to dry his cheeks fully.
"Are we in the city?" He asks quietly, eyes flickering across to a lady in a long skirt handing out roses with a bucket full of coins at her feet.
He glances over his shoulder at the two men in time to see them exchange glances. Harry nods, forcing a smile. "Yeah, honey. This is where we live, where you...where you live again now. Haven't you been out here since...?" He trails off and his voice gets all wobbly. Niall blinks at him before slumping back in his seat, shaking his head mutely.
Zayn smiles and looks at his husband with sad eyes before pressing a button on the side of the wheel that causes the window beside Niall to whir down. Immediately, the sounds of outside flood in; loud chatter and car engines and the sound of stomping feet and barking dogs.
Niall's hands fly up to clamp over his ears, eyes widening; he's not used to such noise. "Too loud!" He says, and the window goes back up, a hand gently wrapping around his wrist once it's quiet again.
"Sorry buddy, I thought you might want to hear what was going on — I didn't think," Zayn says quickly, looking hurt.
He moves his hands away from his ears and clings onto Bunny again instead. He doesn't speak for the rest of the journey through the city, simply watching silently as the buildings and masses of people move by. It isn't until they turn into an estate, roads lined with big houses and long gardens where people are out walking pets and mowing their lawns, that he turns his attention back to the inside of the car.
"Nearly there now, bud," Zayn says softly from the front.
He chews his lip nervously, chest feeling all funny and tight again as he gives a tiny nod. He rubs Bunny's head against the end of his nose, breathing in the familiar smell that reminds him of home and his Dad.
Harry, beside him, reaches out and then stops, drawing his hand back into himself - and Niall isn't sure why the man won't let himself touch him.
"How're you feeling, honey? You - you look a little pale," he says in a quiet sort of voice.
He glances up at the man at that, a little surprised that the man sounds like he cares so much. He shrugs, because his stomach feels kinda sick, but he doesn't think he'll actually throw up.
"D'you have a big house?" He asks quietly instead, moving Bunny away from his face hesitantly.
Harry smiles at the question, giving a shrug. "Ah, well, it's big enough. Your - um - your room is still the same as before, but we'll redecorate it. Anything you like, Spider-Man, Star Wars."
Niall chews his lip. "My - my room? On my own?" He whispers.
"Um, yeah, sweetie. Were you thinking you'd be sharing with your brothers?"
He shakes his head. "You," is all he says, as if it's obvious.
Because to him, it is. He's always shared a room with Dad at home; the two of them cuddle up and Daddy reads him a story or tells him about his day, or sometimes he hums to him and rubs his back until he falls to sleep - though that's only usually when he gets sick.
He doesn't ever remember having his own room or his own bed. He isn't sure he likes the idea of it.
Harry looks a little surprised, looking to Zayn in the mirror at the front of the car and then turning back to him. "Well, you - you can sleep in with us if you ever have a bad dream or you can't sleep, but - well, you have your own room with us. All yours, for you to fill with whatever you want."
Niall figures that's supposed to be a good thing, only it doesn't feel very good. It makes his tummy feel twisty again, so he decides he doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
Instead, he turns his head to look out of the window again, frowning as they slow down and begin rolling up into a parking space in front of a garage attached to a big house. His eyes widen when he realised that this is where Harry and Zayn live - where he's supposed to be living too now, but only until his Dad comes to save him.
His thumb finds his way to his mouth as he looks up at the big building - the windows are big and the front door is painted black, and there's are pink and red flowers growing up and around the front porch. In front of the porch, there's a small block of grass, a football and a scooter laying abandoned amidst the greenery.
He figures they must belong to the other boys who live here. His - his brothers apparently.
Except they can't be.
He's all confused and his head is messy, because he only gets the faintest hint of recognition when he looks at Harry and Zayn, and if they're really his parents, then surely he would be able to tell.
He sinks down in his seat shyly when the engine of the car shudders to a stop and both men turn to smile a little nervously at him.
"This is it, Bug," Harry says softly, that nickname making a presence again.
He doesn't mention it this time, he just nods and stays where he is even as both the grown ups in the car undo their own seat belts.
Zayn twists around in the front to peer at him. "You can take your belt off now, buddy," he tells him, and Niall frowns a little.
He's not allowed to take off his own belt, that's what his Daddy always says whenever they have to go out in the car together. He has to sit and wait until Dad does it for him and then lets him out, otherwise he might get hurt.
"M'not allowed," he states, moving his thumb away from his mouth and wiping it dry on Bunny's fur.
The men look at each other weirdly again before Harry moves forwards with hesitant hands and presses the red button on the belt to undo it for him, looking up with a small smile afterwards. "Okay?" He asks.
Niall doesn't know why they keep asking him that. He nods, jumping a little when his door opens up, Zayn standing aside for him to climb out.
He peers down with his bottom lip caught between his teeth. The floor looks a long way down.
When Zayn steps in front of him and holds his arms out, he allows himself to be lifted and then lowered down on his feet to the gravel.
He lets go of Bunny with one hand and reaches up, wrapping his fingers around three of Zayn's tightly, simply blinking up at the man when he looks surprised.
It's one of the rules. He has to hold his Daddy's hand when they're not at home, because something bad might happen otherwise. He - he might get lost, or taken -
Zayn brushes his thumb over his knuckles and it makes him feel a little better about the contact. He allows himself to be lead towards the house, Harry close behind them.
When they get inside, he starts feeling sick again. He's not sure why, it always happens when he gets scared - it's just that, this place isn't his home.
His home is small and cosy, and it smells like his Dad and the stuff he uses to wash their clothes. This place is too big and unfamiliar, and it smells different.
He lets go of Zayn's hand when they're inside, rubbing Bunny's head against his cheek, peering up at the tall walls and the wallpaper that isn't peeling. The floors are wooden and shiny, and there are a few toys scattered around in the hall; cars and teddies.
Harry steps up beside him and smiles. "What do you want to see first? We've got the living room, kitchen, dining room and bathroom down here, and upstairs, there's the -"
"Can I see the swimming pool?" He asks quietly, because he wants to know if it's the same as it is in his dreams.
Harry and Zayn both smile at that, nodding.
"Course, Bug," Zayn says softly.
When they get out into the backgarden, he clutched Zayn's hand again, looking out at the yard. The pool is at the front, before the grass and the plastic slide and swing set.
And it's the same as in his dreams.
In his dreams where he's splashing around with two men and two other little boys, arm bands on and feet kicking water up into the air as he squeals happily.
And it confuses him even more, because if he can remember it here, then that means he's been here before. Lived here before, maybe. With Zayn and Harry and two brothers.
It means maybe they're telling him the truth, and maybe his Daddy - maybe George did take him.
But even if it is the truth, it doesn't change anything. He still loves his Dad. He still wishes he could come back and take him again because - because they love each other and they take care of each other and -
He feels like he's going to start crying again. He looks up at Zayn with watery eyes.
"I wanna g-go home," he whispers, voice wobbling before he lets out another sob.
He turns to Harry with desperation in his eyes, but the man just looks sad as he crouches down in front of him. "Honey...I can't even begin to imagine all that you're going through right now, how confusing and scary this must all be," he whispers. "But this is your home now, it - it always has been. We love you, okay? And we're gonna be here with you through everything from now on."
Niall just shakes his head, his chest tight and stomach twisted. He looks down at the floor and lets his chin hit his chest, sobs rattling through his whole body. He misses his Dad, he wants to be held and tucked in and read to and have his back rubbed until he falls to sleep feeling safe.
Zayn squeezes his hand gently. "How about we put the tour on hold for now, hm? I don't wanna overwhelm you. We can get you settled in the living room, find something to watch, get you something to eat," he says softly.
And he wants that, he wants to curl up and watch cartoons and eat his favourite food, but he wants to do all that with his Dad.
Still, he knows, as much as he hates it, he knows that he can't have that right now. All he can have is Zayn and Harry, and he craves comfort so much that at this moment, he doesn't care where he gets it from.
He keeps ahold of Zayn's hand even when they get back inside this time, still sniffling and hiding his face against Bunny's fur. He only lets go when they get to the living room - a large area with two couches and an armchair, a TV on the wall with consoles on shelves beneath, a toy box in the corner and a fire place in the centre of the biggest wall that has a mantelpiece framing it.
He makes a beeline for one of the armchairs, climbing up onto it and curling into a tight ball with Bunny tucked between his thighs and his chest. He sniffles, avoiding looking at the two men and staring at the photos on the mantelpiece instead.
There are pictures of two boys with Harry and Zayn. A few of the two boys together. The centre photograph, the biggest one, is of three boys. One dark haired and bigger than the other two, and two smaller, both with the same mousy brown coloured hair and blue eyes. The boy in the middle looks a little like him...
He glances at the two men, both of them watching him with sad eyes, their arms around each other's waists.
Harry takes a breath and quickly swipes a hand across his eyes. "Right. Food. Um - what - what sort of thing do you like? I'm guessing beans with cheese isn't your favourite anymore," he whispers.
Niall blinks at that, then shakes his head. "I like beans with cheese. But - but only if the cheese melts, 'cause -"
"Because you like when you can mix it in," Harry finishes with a slight hitch to his voice.
Swallowing, Niall nods. They know so much about him, too much for all of this to be a lie. They - they have photos of him and the pool from his dreams and...
He still wishes he could go home to his Dad. He doesn't understand why this all had to happen to him.
He sniffs and lifts his hand up to his mouth, sucking his thumb and hooking his index finger over the end of his nose. Dad sometimes lets him have a dummy still, but on the TV, none of the other kids have them so he doesn't want one anymore either. He still sucks his thumb though. It makes him feel better.
"I'll, uh, I'll go get that sorted for you then. Papa'll find you something to watch," Harry says softly, and Niall glances up in surprise at 'Papa'.
He just nods, curling up some more on the chair, laying his head on the armrest and bringing Bunny up beneath his chin. He yawns, watching as Zayn flicks through the channels, stopping on a cartoon channel he usually watches with his Dad at home.
"This okay for you, Bug?" Zayn asks quietly.
Niall nods again, tiredness washing over him as he nuzzles his cheek against the armrest and tries to forget about how wrong everything is.
And despite the day that he's had, he's asleep in minutes.
NOTE
i had to split this chapter into two since it would've been over 10k words otherwise. i know not much has happened yet and it's all a little dull but i wanted to show a little of niall's perspective with how confused he must be.
anyway! let me know what you think in the comments.
next chapter will be up on friday.
thanks for reading <3