Oscar Wilde was the one who said 'hearts are made to be broken', 'that's why there's sorrow into the world'. Sian wasn't sure how that felt before, sadly, however, now he does. The feeling of deep distress caused by his disappointment and misfortune, which he was forced to suffer in alone.
Open up, tell someone.
Tell them what. That's he's madly in love with his two best friends. That he will probably die alone. That he has to suffer as the only single one for eternity. That at night he sits and wishes he will wake up in a alternate universe, where his friends weren't, where it was him, his parents, and a whole other life.
Maybe he was being dramatic.
Maybe he should just get over it.
"Sian, breakfast!" His father shouted, making him groan loudly. This morning he was pulled out of bed by his dad, and forced to take a shower, while his father laid out his clothes for the day. He was clearly tired, exhausted even, but they didn't care. It was his choice to stay out all night, and he had to reap the consequences. He liked that that's how they were, respectful of his decisions, but didn't allow him to get away from them. They were the perfect parents, stern and tough, but loving and joyful. Smiling to himself, he practically bounced into the kitchen, making his father jump. "What's got you so excited?" A toothy grin followed, and Sian couldn't help but engulf him in a hug. When he sat and thought about it, he didn't think his parents truly knew how much he loved them.
"Just love you, mama." Kun smiled and returned the hug, rubbing his sons back gently. "I love you too, baby."
"What about your other old man?" Hansol questioned, standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "I sorta love you, I guess." Sian laughed, being pulled into a quick, tighter hug by his dad. "He's definitely your son, kid."
"It's almost as if we made him."
Would he get this? Playful mornings with his family, a son or a daughter joking with him, a partner (maybe multiple) laughing along with him. He hated that you couldn't tell the future. That you didn't have any idea what awaited you in the future, you just had to sit and wait. Wait for something you may love, you may hate. Maybe even wait for the day to come where you realise you never did anything with your life, and you lay still on your death bed, surrounded by loneliness, regretting everything. If he could know, and he was told that he would be happy, he'd be contempt. If he was told he'd move into a detached house with two specific boys, where they'd sleep and eat, watch their children grow, play fetch with their dog in the garden, snuggle up with their cat in rainy days. He wanted to know if he'd be happy. He wanted to know if they'd be there.
What if they weren't?
Sian has only ever wanted them to be happy. Together or not. He just wanted to see them smile. But he didn't ever want to apart from it. He'd fight tooth and nail if it meant he could watch each of their eyes light up and sparkle. If it meant just leaving them to it, being the cool uncle who teaches their kids curses and gives them their first sips of alcohol, then he'd do that.
"Hey bud, you know we talked to Yukhei and Jungwoo, right?"
Sian froze, nodding shakily as he ate his breakfast, his parents each sighing. "They told us everything." At least he didn't have to tell them, he had assumed they'd talked, knowing they would of waited up to reprimand him and demand to know where he was last night if they didn't. He can't imagine how they were feeling, do they thought he was stupid or pathetic for running away. Did they speak to sushi directly? He knows he came to their apartment, so they probably did, unless the younger boy chickened out. "We understand why you got upset, it must of hurt a lot baby." Kun smiled sympathetically, reaching to ruffle his sons hair. "It was, I guess, but there's no point in dw-"
"Shut up. You have every right to feel how you feel. If you said that to him I'm sure he'd react the same."
He was angry. Sad. Frustrated. Irritated.
"I-It just slipped so easily out of his mouth, like he a-always thought like that, you know?" They nodded along, Hansol opening his mouth to reply. "That's awful baby, but we also need to talk about the skipping school part."
Kun smacked his husband. "That can wait till he feels a tiny bit better. We're always here baby, I vowed since the day you were born that I'd protect you from any harm, including your own friends spouting nonsense. Hell, your dad has vowed to put his life on the line for everyone he's ever felt strongly for." The ex-mafia member nodded, smirking slightly at the memories of his near death experiences. Weird man.
"Now the skipping school. If I have to hear from Yukhei again that you left I'll be taking your phone off you. Sian, you could of called us, you could of told us. Like mama said, we are always here." Sian nodded, happy tears forming in his eyes. He was glad that his parents supported him, no matter what, and respected his emotions. He was one to wear his heart in his sleeve.
Knock, knock.
"Oh shit, uh, Sian. I kinda maybe told Justin to come and pick you up and walk with you to school."
✰ ∵ ∴ ∵ ∴ 😪 ∴ ∵ ∴ ∵ ✰
He takes back any good thing he said about his mama. Kun was an evil man. Shoving his sons packed lunch into his arms, and forcing Sian's heavy backpack onto his back, he pushed him outside into the hallway. It was awkward, no, what's worse then awkward? The aura surrounding them was uncomforting, and the puffiness around little sushi's eyes just made him want to engulf the young boy into his arms and say he was perfectly fine. That he did nothing wrong. But he was sure his own puffiness was worse, crying more then the average person does anyway. It was silent, the noises around them almost overwhelming because of the lack of comforting words from Justin. The boy next to him wasn't making the first move to talk, and there was no chance in hell he was.
Approaching the crossing they caught each other's eyes, and both smiled painfully at one another. While waiting, little sushi's arms swayed and legs shook, causing him to bounce forward every so often. The light for the cars was still green, and a blue bmw flew it's way down the road. Making a rash judgement, Sian pulled Justin almost roughly to move out of the way of the car, it being inches from taking off his arm. "Oh my god! Sian that was so scary!" He weeped, holding onto his arm tightly. "You need to aware." Sian smiled softly, mind quickly collecting itself and dropping it. "You spoke to me, thank god." He heard Justin mutter the last part, and heard a deep cough echo out as they finally crossed the road.
"Sian, you know I'm sorry, right? I didn't mean any of it." His voice started loud and clear, yet faded into an unsure tone. "I know, I read all your messages."
"I also know sorry doesn't really mean anything, I just don't know what else to say."
"There isn't anything else to say, it just might be a bit awkward to start with, that's okay. Friends fight, sushi."
"But we don't!" It was true. They don't. Sometimes they disagree, but they've never fought. Shi Yi and Sian fought, argued, fists have been thrown at some points, but never with Justin. Maybe that was bad. Maybe they should argue more often to try and have a more balanced relationship. "First time for everything." Sian mumbled, attempting to see past the still stiff aura. Justin was clearly attempting to from a new sentence to attempt and break it, and the elder of the two inwardly begged for him to hurry up.
"It wouldn't be ew to date you at all!" Was eventually squeaked out, and a hand was smashed against his mouth after. Sian's eyes widened, not tub king he'd reference that exact statement. "How would you know?"
"I guess, maybe, I've-ugh!"
"I've thought about it before, okay." Sian laughed at that, seeing a redness grow up Justin's face. He thought about dating him? He pictured holding hands with him, snuggling with him, hugging him, kissing him. How he'd miss him if he wasn't there. How he'd spam him with 'I miss you's' when Sian was visiting China. How he'd giggle and compliment him, pecking soft kisses to various parts of his face.
LITTLE SUSHI HAD IMAGINED DATING HIM.
Inside he was practically crying, wanting to jump and scream in happiness, express everyone emotion outwardly. He would of being doing backflips if he could. But instead he went to the next best thing.
"Aw, baby sushi pictured dating me? And it wasn't gross? So honoured!" He cheered out, acting as if his little dance wasn't serious, mocking excitement. "Shut up." Justin muttered, hitting him gently.
"Was it cute? Did we kiss? Oh my, did you think of me like that?"
"Ew, Sian!"
•| ⊱✿⊰ |•
so this chapter was kinda rushed and it was pretty hard to write, not the best with make ups. but i hope you liked it. anyway i did make sian a cliche crybaby, whosep easily upset so bare that in mind!
also not proofread so please point out any spelling or punctuation errors!
idk what else to say, so have these pictures.