The door to the cafe was opened and Saint waited anxiously. His smile faltered when an unknown man stepped into his cafe. He took the man's order and proceeded to make some iced coffee for the man. The man paid for the coffee and left. Saint stared at the clock and he had another hour before he would close his cafe. It had been 2 weeks since Saint last saw Zee. He missed the man. He was embarrassed to admit that he missed him. Maybe he had hurt his feelings, or maybe he no longer cared. The door opened again but this time there were 2 office ladies. Saint smiled and greeted them. They took their seats and Saint's part time waiter took their order.
Saint carefully limped towards the juicer. The two ladies ordered some juice. Saint chopped some fruits and used the juicer. In the meantime, he took out a slice of cheesecake and put it on a plate. He grabbed a matcha flavoured cupcake and he immediately remembered how Zee abhorred the flavour. He put the cupcake on another plate and signalled for his waiter to serve the ladies with their cakes first. A few minutes later, the juices ordered by the ladies were ready. Saint put the two glasses of orange and guava juice on a tray. His waiter took the tray away and served them.
The cafe were half full. That was usual after office hour as people were rushing to head home. Saint hissed when he accidentally turned and his foot hit the counter. He made Simon angry again 2 days before. He forgot to cook the dish he requested because he was so busy at the cafe and when he went up to check on him for lunch; Simon pushed him so hard that he fell in the kitchen. He accidentally twisted his ankle during the fall. He was just glad that he was not cooking or there was anything hot in the kitchen. If not, things could get worse. Saint stared down at his ankle. The swollen had lessened but the pain was still there. He sighed and thought of Zee. He wondered where he could be. He was so focused on his ankle and thinking about Zee that he did not notice that a customer was standing in front of him.
"Are you going to stare at your ankle all day?" A voice brought Saint back to reality.
Saint slowly raised his head and a smile instantaneously formed on his face.
"Hi." Saint whispered. He could not believe how happy he was seeing Zee in front him.
"Hi... You okay?" Zee asked and Saint nodded.
"Have a seat." Saint said and Zee took a seat closest to where he was standing.
"What would you like today?" He asked Zee.
"You." Zee whispered so that only Saint could hear what he said.
Saint was a little bit shocked by Zee's sudden brazenness.
"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said that..." Zee murmured but he smiled looking at Saint blushing.
"It's... It's alright..." Saint replied.
"May I have my usual and the same muffin from the other day if you have them." Zee said.
"As a matter of fact... We do." Saint smiled at him.
"You left before you had them." He added and he instantly regretted what he said as it reminded of what that had transpired. Simon choking him and Simon slapping him.
"Saint... Are you alright?" Zee asked him and he slowly nodded.
"You look... Pale. Are you sure?" He questioned him.
"I'm... I'm good." Saint reassured him.
Saint stood there. He was nervous as Zee would see that he was limping but there was nothing he could do. He had to walk to the coffee station that was about a few meters away.
"Be right back." Saint said and carefully made his way to the coffee station.
He could feel Zee's eyes on him. He tried his might not to be affected by it but it was easier said then done. His hands were trembling because he did not want to see Zee's reaction seeing him limping like that. Saint took longer to prepare Zee's coffee because he spilled a few things while preparing it. He was glad that he could serve Zee his favourite coffee when he finally was able to pour it into a mug. He braved himself and slowly turned around. Saint stopped at his tracks. Zee's eyes were filled a myriad of emotions. There was pity. There was pain. There was anger. There was regret. Saint neared Zee at the counter. He put the coffee in front him and Zee thanked him.
"You're welcome. Enjoy." Saint said to him.
"Oh... The muffin." He said and he limped towards the display panels where they kept the muffins.
He took a pair of thongs and took one muffin. He then put it on a saucer. He limped back to where Zee was sitting and served him his muffin.
"Thank you Saint." Zee's voice was grave.
"Did you fall again?" He asked Saint.
"Yes. I... I fell in the kitchen." Saint told the man knowing that Zee was totally aware of his lies.
"Do you have any other injuries?" Zee questioned him.
"I... I..."
"It's okay Saint... Just take care of yourself. I am always here for you... Only you." Zee told Saint.
"You don't have to do that Mr Panich." Saint implored him.
"I don't have to but I still want too." Zee stubbornly smiled at the other man.
Zee sipped his coffee and hummed appreciatively. It was perfect.
"I missed your coffee Saint." Zee smiled.
"Where have you been?"
"Why... Miss me?" Zee grinned and he liked the fact that Saint was lost for words.
"I was in The Philippines and then to Australia for work. I just came home 2 days ago." He shared.
"Australia has one of the best coffee shops cultures out there." Saint pointed.
"They do but they don't have baristas like you." Zee pointed.
"Mr Panich... What are you doing?"
"I am wooing you until you fall for me..." Zee smiled.
"I have Simon."
"Then I will be the bad third person... I will make you fall for me." Zee answered.
"You can't..."
"Why not?"
"I am in a relationship. I can't..."
"I know that Saint... I am not forcing you to do anything but as I said... I will woo you... I will make you miss me... I will wait until that day comes."
"You don't know what you're doing."
"You're right... I don't... I've never wooed anyone before." Zee grinned.
Saint had never encountered or seen this side of Zee. It was unnerving yet it made his heart a flutter. He unconsciously licked his lips not knowing what to do.
"Rest assured Saint... I want to be your friend... Your protector... Your guardian angel... Nothing more." Zee said before taking a bite of the muffin.
"Nothing? Mr Panich..." Saint could not continue with his sentence.
"Saint... This is scrumptious! May I have 4 of them to go? I'm going to see my mother after this." Zee said stopping Saint from talking.
"Oh yeah.... For you." Zee put two fridge magnets and two keychains on the counter.
Saint looked down at the 4 souvenirs for him. He smiled and he took them. He studied them with such childish awe that made Zee laughed. Seeing Saint like made Zee's 2 weeks agony being away gone just like that. 2 weeks being away from Bangkok was hard when he had no idea how Saint was doing. He feared for Saint's safety every waking hour. He was forcing himself to look all calm and happy but deep inside he would like to beat that Simon guy to pulp. Saint was limping. He was FUCKING limping! Zee in actuality was livid with what he saw when he first saw him walking. Yet, seeing the man grinning happily with such simple cheap trinkets in his hands lessened that anger for the time being.
"Thank you." Saint held them as if they were the most precious things in the world to him.
"You are welcome." Zee replied.
Then, Zee could see fear and dread crept into Saint's eyes. The trinkets suddenly became something terrifying to him. Zee pretended to sip his coffe but he could see how Saint's demeanour changed. He was terrified. He became uncertain. He looked as if he was trying to solve the mystery of the world.
"Saint..."
"Yes...?"
"Don't forget my Mom's muffins." Zee tried distracting him from the utter terror that the man was feeling.
Like an automaton, Saint limped towards the display counter and packed the muffins Zee requested. He put them in a box and put the box in front of Zee.
"Thanks... By the way Saint..."
"Why do you look so terrified?" Zee whispered.
"Do you want me to take them back from you?" He felt his heart shattered when he asked that to Saint.
How could fridge magnets and keychains make him that horrified and disconcerted? Zee could never understand but it must be how abusive his relationship had become that even simple things would make Simon hurt him.
"I... I don't know..." Saint looked longingly at the souvenirs in his hands.
"I can keep them for you for the time being if you want." Zee assured him. His heart bled for the beautiful man with the tender soul.
"I like them... I think... I think I can keep them with me here..." Saint looked around and placed the fridge magnets on the fridge he had there.
Saint turned to Zee and smiled.
"They are perfect here." Saint beamed.
"They are." Zee nodded.
"The keychains?" He asked Saint.
Something flickered in Saint's eyes.
"Do you want me to keep them for you?" Zee opened his palm.
"Yes please." Saint whispered. He looked utterly broken-hearted.
"I still have the one you gave." Saint said while showing Zee the keychain from Australia that he gave to him months before.
"They are safe with me." Zee kept the keychains in his pocket and continued to sip his coffee and ate his muffin.
***********************************************************
"Where to Mr Panich?" Zee's chauffeur asked him as he got into the car.
"I need to see my mother." Zee answered.
The car left Saint's Cafe and headed downtown. Zee wanted to yell and curse and destroy things. He wanted to cry for Saint. His hand took our the keychains and Zee knew that Saint loved them. The longing on his face when he gave them back to Zee.
"Stupid fucking keychains. STUPID FUCKING KEYCHAINS!!" Zee growled.
He closed his eyes and rested his head. He was at lost again. He wanted to save Saint but he had no idea how. He needed his mother. His asshole siblings called him Mommy's Boy and when they were young Zee would beat them up when they called him that. Now, he embraced the name. He was his mother's boy. He did not care. He really needed his mother at the moment. Zee studied the keychains again. His eyes began to water. What made Saint fear of keeping two keychains? How could a grown man feel so trapped by his so called boyfriend that he would ask him to keep his keychains safe for him? Zee had read books and talked to experts about Saint and how he could help him. The answers were all the same... Saint must free himself from Simon. Even if Zee could take him away from Simon, Saint would forever love the man whom he saw as his beloved. Zee sometimes contemplated murder when he thought of how Simon was hurting Saint. Nonetheless, his hands are tied.
"At least I can still see you and talk to you..." He whispered.
It was beyond frustrating. Zee was convinced that Simon would hurt him Saint so badly one day that he could lose Saint forever. It had happened numerous times before. Too many victims of abusive relationships did not see how detrimental their relationships were until it was too late. He did not want that to happen to Saint. He would die first if that were to happen. He even asked Joss to help him from the legal point of view. Again, Saint could lie to them and when that happened; things could get worse for Saint. Zee was aware of how loyal Saint was towards Simon. His devotion towards Simon seemed mind boggling but as his mother had said before; Saint was in an abusive relationship and to him it was logical and acceptable.
"Mr Panich, we are here."
Zee did not even realise that they had arrived at his mother's club. It was quite busy even though it was a weekday. He got out and walked towards the entrance. The security team managing the front immediately allowed him to enter the club. Even before he got closer, he could hear the loud from music coming from the inside. Sometimes Zee found it amusing how their parents could actually get together. One was an heir while the other was a daughter of a strip club owner. They simply fell in love, got married, had Zee and his 2 brothers, divorced and became really good friends. Now his mother ran a few clubs including this one where she resided. You could see strippers and drag queens performing depending on which nights you were visiting.
"Zee!" A tall statuesque drag queen named Cleopatra waved her hand at him.
"Hey Cleo!" Zee said and hugged her.
"How are you?" He asked her.
"Fabulous as always!" She smiled.
"You okay?" She asked Zee.
"No..." Zee answered.
"I'm sorry to hear that... Wanna grab some drinks? I'm not performing tonight."
"Maybe next time Cleo... Thanks..." Zee declined.
"I'm searching for Mom... Do you know where she is?" He asked her.
"Evangeline?" Cleo craned her long neck looking around the busy club.
"The last time I saw her... She was at the bar." She shared.
"Maybe she's still there."
"Thanks Cleo."
"You take care Honey."
Zee slowly made his way through the crowd and even from far he could see his mother. The most colourful flamboyant looking woman surrounded by drag queens and of course sexy looking males. Zee was about to get close when as if by is instinct, his mother turned towards him. She smiled and slowly her smile faded. She left her entourage and held Zee's face.
"Zee... Who broke your heart?" Evangeline wrapped her arms around her son.
"Can we talk?"
"Sure Zee... Let's head home." She murmured and kissed her son's temple.
The mother and son got into a private elevator and went to the level where her home was.
"I have some muffins for you."
"Thank you... Would you like some milk?" She asked him and he nodded.
"You go ahead and I'll bring you you milk."
Zee left the muffins on the kitchen counter and turned on some music. He then sat on his mother's couches and waited for her. He smiled when she came with a tray with the muffins, his milk and her camomile tea. She sat next to him and he immediately put his head on his mother's lap. He sighed out loud and closed his eyes. The calm and comfort that he could only experience when he was with his mother.
Evangeline studied her distraught son. He was the oldest from the 3 boisterous boys she had. He had the softest heart. She sipped her camomile tea and waited. She knew that he would eventually open up about what was bothering him. Evangeline knew it was something to do with Saint. The boy had fallen in love with the wrong man at a very wrong time. She pitied her son but there was nothing she could do other than listen to him and give him advice.
"Mom..."
"Yes Honey?"
"Your beads and embroideries are hurting my face." Zee complained and she laughed.
"I'm so sorry... But they are custom made Hermes... Just so you know... Your face should feel privileged." She shared and she could see her son smiling.
She waited again. Sipped some tea. Tasted the muffin. Kissed his temple and waited again. Zee slowly pushed himself up and put his head on his mother's shoulder.
"I'm hurting Mom... I don't know how to help him."
"He is limping... What did the man do until Saint is limping?"
"He is terrified to even take fucking keychains... Keychains!"
"How could you hurt someone you love? How could you make them bleed? I don't understand Mom..."
Evangeline simply listened to Zee. She knew that her child needed to rant.
"What... What about Saint?"
"How could Saint be so FUCKING MORONIC to stay with him??!!"
"He is SO SO BLOODY STUPID!!!"
"I don't understand why he loves him even when he hurt him so much like that...." Zee cried.
"I love him Mom... I would protect him... I would take his place if I could... But... He doesn't love me... He loves him..."
"I don't know how to protect him Mom..."
"What if he really hurt Saint and... And...."
"My God... You're so FUCKING STUPID!!"
Evangeline could feel how devastated her son was. She knew that he was silently crying on her shoulder. She would give him the solutions if she could but she could only listen to her child crying for a man whom he was so much in love with. Evangeline knew that it was futile to ask Zee to stop going to the cafe or stop caring for Saint. It was equally futile to ask Saint leaving the man whom he cared and loved for so long. Evangeline had learned from a very long time ago that the heart wanted the heart wanted. Nothing could change what the heart desired.
"It's not easy for Saint to leave him Zee..." Evangeline whispered.
"His beliefs are twisted because they are still in a relationship... They have been in a relationship... For so long..." She continued.
"There are so many reasons that Saint might think are rational to him." She added.
"I would cherish him Mom... I would protect him... I don't know what to do..." Zee cried.
"I know Zee..."
"I love him... Only him..."
****************************************************************
Saint put the trays of muffins into the oven and walked out of the kitchen. It was still very early in the morning. He turned to the fridge and smiled. The two fridge magnets were there. They made him happy. Zee had not come back after he had given him the souvenirs. Saint was no longer surprised by his growing feelings. He acknowledged that he the man if he did not come to his cafe. Immediately guilt gnawed him. He had Simon. He should not be thinking about another man other than Simon. He was in a relationship with Simon. He should be loyal to Simon. Saint dragged his eyes away from the fridge magnets and decided to start sweeping the floor. He walked back into the kitchen and got him the broom and dustpan. When he got back out of the kitchen, he was surprised to see Jeremy standing in front of the counter.
"Hi Jeremy. What brought you here?"
"Simon told me that you're seeing someone. Is that true?" Jeremy immediately accused Saint.
"What? No... I'm not seeing anyone!"
"You know he needs you Saint! He only needs you."
"I'm not seeing anyone Jeremy... Your brother is... Your brother..."
"Then why was he ranting to me telling me that you're seeing someone and that you're leaving him?"
"He must misunderstand something..." Saint reasoned.
"I'm tired of coming down here sorting things out between you two..." Jeremy muttered.
"I'm sorry... But we're fine... Why would I leave him Jeremy? I love him." Saint explained.
"Maybe he saw something? Don't get too friendly with your customers! You're too fucking friendly with people!" Jeremy growled.
"I... I won't..." Saint whispered.
At that moment, the door to the cafe opened and Zee walked in.
"Morning!" Zee greeted and he slowly realised that something was off.
Saint looked scared and there was a man in the cafe with him.
"Mor... Morning Mr Panich."
"Can't you read? The cafe is closed!" The unknown man barked.
"Jeremy... Please..."
"He should know how to fucking read." Jeremy responded.
"I'm going up to see Simon."
"He's still sleeping... Don't... Don't..."
"Shut up Saint." Jeremy muttered and left the cafe.
Zee could see how pale Saint looked.
"Saint... Would you like to sit down? Who's that?"
"You should leave... Please Zee... You must leave." Saint held Zee's hands in a deathly grip.
Zee was taken aback as it was the first time Saint called him by his name.
"Saint... Calm down."
"Leave now Zee... He'll know you're here and he won't like that." Saint pushed Zee towards the entrance.
"Saint...."
"Do you care about me?" Saint questioned him.
"You know I do..."
"Then leave... Don't come back Zee... Never come back..." Saint begged and tears fell from his eyes.
"Saint... Please..."
"LEAVE ZEE!" Saint shoved Zee away from him.
"Saint... Please don't push me away..."
"I have to! He knows... HE KNOWS!"
"I can't leave you Saint. He'll hurt you!" Zee begged.
"If you stay... He WILL hurt me even more Zee..." Saint fell to his knees and cried.
"Saint..." Zee knelt in front of Saint and held his shoulders.
"Please Zee... Leave now... He knows... He knows... That..." Saint stared at Zee.
"That what Saint?"
"That I... That I..." Saint slowly raised his hand and touched Zee's face.
More tears fell. Saint gave Zee the most wretched smile.
"Leave Zee... Never come back..."
"I can't Saint... I love you. I love you more than anything." Zee whispered and tears spilled from his eyes.
"Let me save you... Follow me now... Leave this place with me." He begged.
"Simon needs me..."
"You know that he doesn't need you! He doesn't deserve you!" Zee yelled.
"Thank you for making me happy... Even for a short time..." Saint murmured.
"Saint... No... Don't say that..."
"You have wooed me..."
"Saint..."
"I will miss you."
"Don't say that Saint!"
"You have... You have to leave me..." Saint cried.
"I can't leave you like this... Who's going to protect you?" Zee asked him.
"I will protect myself..." Saint whispered.
"Saint... My car is just outside. Leave with me.... I can save you!"
"No Zee! I can't leave Simon!" Saint stubbornly told Zee.
"Saint..."
"I will call the cops if your don't leave." Saint threatened.
"Saint!"
"LEAVE NOW!!!"
"Saint please... I beg you..."
"Leave Mr Panich... After this... I don't know you and you don't know me." Saint asserted.
"Saint..." Zee wiped the tears falling from Saint's eyes.
"Please leave... If you ever cared... If you ever loved me..." Saint's body shook from his sadness.
"Le... Leave me... Don't ever come back... Please Zee... Please..." He whispered.
"Saint..."
"LEAVE NOW!!!!" Saint pushed himself up and held Zee's arm.
"Go Zee... GO NOW!!" He dragged Zee towards the door.
"Saint... Pleaseeeeee...." Zee pleaded.
"Please don't do this." He implored.
Saint continued to dragged Zee towards the door.
"It's for the best Zee... Please believe me."
"I can't leave you Saint..."
"You have to leave... If you want him to stop hurting me... You must leave." Saint whispered sorrowfully.
"Please Zee... Please..." He begged while holding Zee's face.
"I love you Saint..."
"I know Zee... I'm sorry for hurting you..." Saint was in agony.
"I'm so sorry that he hurt you... Forgive me Saint." Zee cried.
"Forgive me." He whispered.
"You made me happy Zee... Only you... But I can't leave Simon... He only has me." Saint pushed Zee outside the cafe.
Saint then stepped back into the cafe. They stared at each other. Both were overwhelmed by what was happening. Saint then slowly closed and locked locked the door. Zee continued to look at Saint through the glass panel. Saint smiled with tears streaming down his face. Zee could see Saint saying thank you again and again.
"Saint... Open the door... Please..." Zee begged.
"Saint!!" He banged on the glass panel.
Saint shook his head and continued to stare at Zee. He then slowly turned around and walked into the cafe.
"Saint! SAINT!!" Zee called him but the beautiful forlorn man continued to walk without a backward glance.
Zee felt empty. He felt as if he had just lost everything.
"Saint..." He whispered.
"Forgive me..."