I couldn't look at her, I couldn't face her. I thought the night terrors and kidnapping was the worst it but this. This was unbearable. Not a year into our marriage and I've already ruined it.
I came into her peaceful quiet and inflicted unspeakable kinds of pain, just because... I'm not even sure. Was it because I couldn't bare the thought of Alex getting everything I wanted? Or maybe I am sadistic? Or maybe I couldn't bare the thought of being alone?
At this moment, there was nothing I wanted more than to go back in time and stop myself from entering her house, stop myself from falling for her, stop myself from impregnating her.
To think, how happy she would be if I didn't cross her path.
Before all this happened I remembered Matt telling me how her mood swings started around 20 weeks into her pregnancy and how they were usually attached to her cravings. Her cravings were far stranger than her sweet tooth.
I, slowly, opened the door to our room. She usually woke up at dawn but I knew she needed the rest. Why must she be so beautiful? Even as she sleeps?
Every part of me wanted to stroke her face but I was more scared of her having another attack. I set down the packet of Doritos and the strawberry jelly. I haven't really seen when she's conscious but according to everyone, even Tyson, she had been out of it.
9 years ago
I couldn't believe my father was dragging me around like a child but he never asked for anything, so I agreed. "Where are we going and why couldn't I follow you in my car?"
"I told you we are going to meet a friend of mine and I thought we could use this time to talk."
''You already forced me to live with you. Must I tag alone like a child, incapable of looking after themselves?''
''You know that was a court order and like I said, you are meeting a friend.''
I sighed, it wasn't his fault, I know. However ever since he lied to me about mom, I've had this hard time trusting him. And he and my mother were doing what they had to do as my parents but I can't help but think if I just got to say goodbye, I wouldn't have done the stupid shit I did. Deep down I know it's my fault and it didn't matter if things happened differently because I'm just messed up.
My foolishness could have gotten my father killed, the least I could do was this. I got a text from Patrick.
P- It was nice seeing you again. Down to hang anytime
I could feel a smile creep onto my face. Patrick was my ex-boyfriend. We broke up about 3 years ago but we remained good friends, though we were considered to be a bit flirtatious.
"How have you been lately?"
"Dad, I'm good. I'm not drinking, partying or whoring around. Not since Dubai 2 months ago. Sorry, you have to an embarrassment like me as a son."
He groaned, "you are my son and I love you. I know you feel guilty but I don't want you wasting your life. I do understand why you would rather avoid making any meaningful connections but if you continue like this you are going to end harming yourself. I've lost your mother, I can't- I can't lose you too."
I didn't know what to say. He was all I had left. I needed to be strong for him.
"We here." we in the middle of a working-class neighbourhood. I wondered what kind of friend we were meeting.
My father knocked on the doorbell and a 40 something black woman opened the door. Her smile was big and warm and just by looking at her, I could tell she was a caring woman, "Good evening, Mrs Vanvet."
"Please it's melissa. Come in. Mi casa su casa." She had a beautiful home. Not just because of its aesthetic but the memories it held. It swamped you.
"This is my son I was talking about, Tyler." I shook her hand before my father and I took our coats off.
"This is my daughter, Natasha, but I think you've already met." I didn't know how I didn't notice her but she was beautiful. She was tall and a lot lighter than her mother. Her hair was flowing down allowing my eyes to trace all her curls. She had this innocent look but in her eyes, I could she was naughty.
"Mr Grant, it's a pleasure to see you again." I assumed the friend my father spoke of was Melissa but now I think the friend was the girl.
"The pleasure is all mine. Please call me Paul. This is my son, Tyler." Our eyes finally locked and everything shifted. She wasn't just this insanely hot girl I wanted to screw, she was a woman I wanted to know.
I gave her a dashing smile, which I could tell she loved, "Good evening, Natasha."
"Good evening." She was my saving grace.
I walked out of our room and the foyer where Tyson and James were playing an intense game of hide and seek with Gretchen. However, as soon as he saw me he came running over.
I grunted as I lifted him up, ''Woah there, flash, you're growing way too fast. Soon I won't be able to do this anymore.''
He giggled, ''I am already too old for you to pick me up, but I do enjoy resting my feet.'' The statement made everyone laugh.
''Daddy, is mommy okay?''
The laughter, once so loud, dissipated and smiles disappeared. "Mom has been through a lot and you know she's pregnant so it's really taking a toll on her."
''What can I do for her?''
''Just show her how much you love her." he nodded sadly, "hey, flash, go get dressed. You're going to help me with my work today." He hopped off my hip and ran up the stairs.