Heads up! This is one long chapter
⚠️TW- Use of alcohol and drugs by minors.⚠️
You see the thing is that sometimes we put on a mask in-front of the world, it helps us blend in more and makes us believe that we aren't something unusual. But sometimes we leave that mask on for way too long and it ends up becoming like a second skin to us. We start to find so fort in the idea of this perfect personality that we show to people, that we start to think that maybe just maybe this version of me is better than the other.
I did something similar, now trust me, I wasn't the perfect person and I didn't have the perfect image. The reason I put on this mask was because it, in some way gave me a sense of security, my real self, the one without any added filter was someone who couldn't be accepted. The things I had been through made me believe that I couldn't be my authentic self.
So I put on the mask of a not caring, rude girl who hit people when she was angry, who curses a lot and doesn't give a shit about feelings. And that was what the world had only ever seen from me, they had never seen the person who was behind that mask, there was only one person who saw that; Eren. And as much as he tried to support me, you could see how even he disapproved of the person I was.
But he isn't here anymore, he can't see what's going on right now, so I don't have to hide and now that my own brothers don't care, I guess there isn't any reason to hide my true self now.
After an hour long shower, and thoroughly washing my hair, I am currently standing in front of my mirror, fog covering it, I wipe my hand through it, to get a clear look of my face. A towel wrapped around my body, my wet hair stuck to my shoulders and the sides of my face. My hands found their way into my hair, combing through it. It was way too long.
Maybe this was decision I should have given more thought to but, instead I pulled out the scissors from one of the drawers, parted my hair from the middle and without a second thought chopped off the hair until it was shoulder length, I honestly didn't care if it was even and neat, but as I looked up, I wasn't too disappointed by how it looked.
My initial plan was to stay in tonight but given recent events maybe I'll go out tonight. Let the world be graced by my presence.
I walked into my closet looking for the best outfit for the occasion, I looked through my whole closet and finally found the prefect one, a black bralette along with a black leather skirt, with thigh high black boots.
I decided on full might club make up, that also included a Smokey eye and a blood rep lip stick. I left my hair open, it was naturally wavy and slightly curly, so it went perfect in the natural way, and topped it all of with a red leather jacket inspired by Cheryl's red serpent jacket.
The bralette was mostly see through on my stomach but still covered the scars, taking one last look in the mirror I smiled. The Bitch is back!
I grabbed my phone, and money, putting it in the pocket of my jacket I made my way down the stairs. I knew they would all be downstairs, it was almost time for dinner and to be honest I wanted them to see this me. The real, unapologetic, unfiltered and kinda slutty me. And I wanted to see them loose their shit over it.
My heels made a clicking sound on the hardwood floor and soon all of those assholes rushed to the hall and to say they were shocked would be an understatement.
"What the hell is this?" Alex screamed waving his hands around in front of me. I looked down at myself innocently and then back up at him. "My outfit. I'm going tonight." "Wait, what? Where?"
I just shrugged and started walking towards the front door, "I don't know, I'll see on my way. Also I'm taking one of the cars." This time it was Xavier who exclaimed "wait you haven't even told us where you were going and since when do you know how to drive?" I picked out the keys for the Lamborghini, and turned back.
"I'm a 16 year old, of course I know how to drive." I said in the same calm and casual voice as before. All of my brothers kept looking at me like I had grown another head, then suddenly Luca scoffed an amused expression on his face. "Oh god, this is just too much. What? Are going through some midlife crisis? Some wannabe douche bag broke your heart, that's why you cut of the hair, you know you might think you're trying to be some rebellious teenager but this all just so basic."
Now you see I could handle this either one of two ways, I could either tell him straight up how wrong he was or I could humiliate him, and call him out for the shit he has pulled up till now. Now I think you already know what I decided on.
"Why so glum Luca. I for one thought you'd be happy so see me finally embrace my slutty, bitchy side. I mean it's finally out in the open right?" With an overly enthusiastic smile on my face. His expression immediately changed, even the whole atmosphere of the room changed to an extremely uncomfortable one.
I saw form the corner of my eye, that Marco was about to say something but before he could I turned on my heel, walking towards the front door, "Later Assholes!" Making sure to flip them off as I slammed the door shut behind me.
Finally in the garage I pulled the car out and started my journey. I was going to some pretty well known night club here in California. It was mostly in the underworld and not many normal people came by, I had asked Grayson about it and he said all I had to do was show my I'd and they'd let me in.
But before I got that place I had to make a quick stop at a local store, I was finally letting loose and going back to my old self, and for that I needed a little warm up. Parking my car, I got out, I could sense the eyes if the passerbys on me but completely ignored them.
Inside the store, there were only 2-3 people shopping, and the store employee looked like he was regretting every life decision he ever made. I walked in, quietly scanning through the isles as I came to my destination I checked to see if the coast was clear and then put a pack of cigarettes in my jacket pocket. They had one of those puffed up bar code stickers on them which from experience were very easy to remove I did the same with the lighter.
I came back to the front of the store and stared at the candy bars they had in the front for a few seconds and eventually just shrugged to myself, to avoid any suspicion and walked out of there Scot free.
When my car was finally on the road, I opened the packet pulling out a stick and placing it between my lips bring the lighter up to it, I inhaled a long drag after it lit up, closing my eyes for a second when the feeling of slight relaxation hit me. It had been too long since I had done this. My left hand remained outside the window, bringing back in every now and then to take a drag, steering with my right hand.
By the time åΩzBy the time I reached the club I had finished more than half of the pack, stepping out of the car, I tossed the keys to the valley. The club wasn't too fancy from the outside, so as to keep unwanted attention away, because it was place where a lot of rich underage kids came, and it had a lot of drugs going around.
Now, the 'normal' Kate would be as far away from this place as she could but the real one is in love with this scene. Going around the side I came to the entrance, a neon sign in the front and a big bodyguard in the front, he must have been twice my size.
I made my way over to him, as he looked at me his expression turned to amused, and I knew he was about to make some disgusting misogynistic remark so before he could say anything, I moved my jacket from my let shoulder to show him the tattoo.
His face paled and he opened the door, apologising continuously. The place was in full swing already, this felt like a real club and not like the one back in London. There was no classic music or business deals instead we had, hard cocktails flowing around, rich kids dancing their night away on the dance floor and drugs secretly being exchanged between said kids; money in exchange of a small baggy that helped them get away from all their troubles for at least one night.
I took a seat at the bar, "So, what'll it be?" the bar tender came over asking for my order, not in the least bit shocked over my age. "well, it's going to be a long night so, let's start with a whiskey sour and two shots of vodka." That took him by surprise. Now I'll admit these are some pretty hard drinks and maybe I should maybe be easing myself in but I need it tonight.
Suddenly I felt arms snake around my waist, and I quickly turned to see a man, probably around the age of 20-25. He looked kinda scrawny and didn't look to threatening. "Hey babygirl, you having fun?" the smart thing to do would be to ignore him but the drunk me decided to entertain this guy.
"Well first, I'm not your babygirl and second, yes I am having fun." The drunken smile on my face. "Okay, how about I help you have even more fun?" "You seriously don't think I'm going to bang you right?" a giggle escaping my mouth.
"Oh, I know, and I not talking about that." "Then what?" he put his hand in his pocket and pulls out something dangling it in front of my face, I immediately recognised the blue and pink pills inside. I had previous experience with these.
I honestly thought I won't ever be even seeing them but here I was, being offered some of these and I was totally about to accept. "I want these." I whined like a little kid, moving to take them from his hand but he moved back. "Ah ah ah. Not so fast sweetheart, I'm going to need something in return as well."
"Fine. How much for 4?" I huffed "300." I pulled the money from my jacket pocket. Handing him the bills, I took the bag from him. The guy parted without another word while I swallowed the 4 in one go. I knew they would take some time to kick in so I went back to dancing, after a while I could feel the effects of the ecstasy kicking in.
The neon becoming a little blurred and I overall felt amazing I had been dancing, my body swaying to the music. When I suddenly felt a tug on my arm, and turned to see someone I wasn't expecting would be here.
We both just stared at each other, until the grey eyed boy pulled me out of the club.
Ace's POV
* PUNCH * * PUNCH * * PUNCH * I finally came back from the tied up guy, to catch my breath. "You ready tell us who your boss is now?" I asked in my most threatening voice. I had been going at this guy for hours but he just wasn't giving up any information.
The bastard just laughed again, wincing at the end as it hurt. "Loyalty before death, you bitch. You wont understand." He croaked out. I smirked at this; he was delirious from the blood loss to realize he had just given up his boss's well-known motto. Fucking Russians.
I looked back to my second in command; Victor who also happens to be my cousin, and best friend I trust that guy with my life. My uncle Samuel used to be my second in command but after he died his son took his place.
"Get rid of him, I got what I need." Starting to walk out of the basement. "Where are you going?" Victor asked as he prepared his gun. "I am exhausted, so probably the club." And with that I was out and in my room. After a quick shower, I changed into simple black jeans, a grey t-shirt along with a black leather jacket. And made my way to my car.
Pulling up, I threw the keys to the valley, and walked inside. I frequented this club whenever I needed to relax from the shitty day I had, it was either here or the art studio. Inside was the same as always, sweaty, drunk and high people dancing, horny teenagers making out in the corners and people getting shit faced at the bar.
I had just gotten a whiskey sour to start of my night, when my eyes floated to the dance floor, and catching a glimpse of a certain brown haired girl. I did a double take, not being able to believe what I had just seen. That can't be her right?
I immediately ran up from the bar stool, my drink totally forgotten. Even in my frenzied state, I was still entranced by the girl. She was dancing with such ease, her body flowing to the music in such a natural way, even though the clothes on her were a surprise given her usual attire, but these for some odd reason felt more natural on her. Like- as wrong as this whole situation was- she was finally herself.
I grabbed her forearm from behind her to turn her around, even in the dim light club,I could practically smell that she was drunk,I just pulled her out of the club. To be honest I didn't really think what I was going to say.
Once outside I leaned on the wall as she stood in front of me. "Hey, Grey eyes!" She yelled out in greeting.
"What are you doing here?" Not thinking a place like this would be her scene. She only smirked "I could ask you the same thing you know? Oh, come on let's go back I love this song!!" This was very different than her normal attitude, I don't think I have ever seen her this chippy about anything.
It was then I noticed, the clenching of the teeth, and thin layer of sweat on her body, the over excitedness. She was high on X. I moved closer to her, holding her head in my hands to examine her properly. I could have sweared I heard her breathing hitch, normally I would have a cocky smirk on my face, but currently I was a little to preoccupied.
Her dilated pupils kept staring at me as I examined her face. Then out of no where, Kate's lips were on mine in hard and bruising kiss, I stumbled back from shock, my back hitting the wall. Kate's hand went up my neck to my hair tugging at it slightly while me hands instinctively went to her waist.
I could taste the whiskey and cigarettes on her tongue, I kept on trying to fight it, trying to tell myself that she was drunk and would not remember any of this but the way her lips moved and how her hands roamed over the front of my body, I found myself slipping. Kissing back trying to keep up with her.
I hadn't even had a full drink and I was already feeling this fuzzy feeling in my mind, but I was brought back to my senses when I felt her hand go up my shirt, that's when I pulled away from her. Both of us stared at each other, catching our breath. "Why'd you pull away?" She whispered, her voice a little hoarse and husky.
"You're drunk." "So, what does that have to with this?" "I'm not doing this with you when you aren't even going to remember it 24 hours later. Come on let's get you home." She immediately pulled back stumbling a little "Uh uh. I am not going back to those fucking assholes, dill holes, fucking bitches...." she trailed of murmuring curses at her brothers.
"Okay, how about I take you to my house, huh? You can sleep there." A knowing smirk on her face. "Your house? I liked the sound of that." Kate gripped the collar of my jacket, pulling me down to kiss me again, but I grabbed her hands in my own and backed up.
Finally after a whole lot of protest I got Kate in the car, and started driving back to the mansion. She had passed out within a few minutes of the ride. Reaching back home, I carried her up to my bedroom bridal style, I was met with a very confused Victor in the hallway, to whom I simply shrugged and whispered to be quite.
As I set her down Kate woke up. "Hey, what's happening?" Her voice suddenly giddy, and her eyes fully open. "Nothing, you're just going to bed." I said taking of her boots. "But I don't wanna." Kate whined like a little kid. I sighed, "Can you please just do this for me?" She made a face deep in thought which I thought was extremely cute. "Okay!" She replied way to perkily.
I went into my closet brining back a grey hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. Tossing them to her, "Hey, you should change into these, they're a lot more comfortable." I turned around to let her change in peace. "Done." I turned to see her in the hoodie and the seat pants were rolled up at the hem to fit her more properly. I pushed her back to lay down and pulling the blanket over her head.
I turned to go sleep in the guest room, when a hand clasped around my wrist, turning to see her staring at me. "Can you stay? I don't wanna be alone." I sighed "Kate...." "please!" She persisted. I simply nodded. Going back to the bathroom to change first and coming back in a pair of sweats and a loose t shirt. I was about to get into bed when Kate stopped me.
"Wait. Take of your shirt." I was utterly shocked. "What?" "Oh, come on, do you really sleep with a shirt." She stated like it was universal fact. I took of my shirt, and this time as soon as I got on the mattress, the girl literally climbed over me, straddling my waist her hands going around my wrists pulling them over my head as she kissed me.
Damn it! Why is it so hard to resist her? It still baffles me how she affects me so much, it's like when I'm around her I can't really give anyone else my attention. She doesn't even have to so anything to be intriguing.
I knew I had to stop this before I went any further. "Kate" I mumbled between the kisses. He mouth moving from my own down to my and jaw then neck, biting and sucking on various spots. "Kate" I whispered, my voice faltering as she sucked on a particular spot. She gave a small 'mhm' before going back. "You need to stop." Finally pulling my hands away from her and putting them to her waist trying to slightly push her back.
And at that she suddenly pulled away staring intently at me "You don't want me?" It was easy to sense the pure vulnerability in her voice, it killed to hear her voice like that. "No, no I just don't want to do anything when you're drunk."
Kate closed her eyes, exhaling and rested her head on mine. Both our eyes closed until I felt a drop on my cheek, and opened my eyes to see her silently crying. I sat up, my right arm around her waist keeping her safe while my left went up to her cheek wiping away her tears, "hey, hey. What is it?"
Shaking people her head "what is it about me?" I look at her questionably "what is it about me that no one wants me? What part of me is so undesirable that people don't want me?" Tears were now streaming down her face, my heart breaking at the site.
"Hey, Kate listen to me okay, there isn't anything about you that's undesirable. I don't know what happened and why you are dressed up like this but trust me no matter how you present yourself you are still very desirable."
She was silent for a second, before looking at me hesitantly "What if, what if this is the real me?" "What do you mean? If this is the real you then what were you in the past two weeks."
Kate looked at her hands, taking a deep breath, "Me pretending to be someone I'm not. Ace, I have been through some shit, that a girl should not go through. And after that, I just.... I just couldn't be myself."
"Why?"
Finally looking back at me, the tears had stopped but you could still the sad expression "When people see me they, think I'm crazy for liking the things that I like and acting the way that I do. Because apparently if someone has gone through what I have gone through even the thought of alcohol and drugs and dressing up like this should be repulsive. And I guess that is kind of true for most people but... I don't know this had always felt like me and for some reason my past doesn't really make me want to change that. Am I crazy to still want to be like this?"
"No of course not. Look I don't know what happened in your past. But all I know is that this is your life and your body. So screw society and screw what people think, you can be whoever they hell you want and they don't have any right to change that."
Kate was silent for a minute scanning my face as if looking for any sign of a lie. I knew she wouldn't remember most of what happened tonight, and maybe I'll have to repeat what I just said tomorrow but when I saw her smile slightly at my words I knew that had gotten the reassurance she was looking for.
Kate leaned over and kissed me softly, this time I didn't think or try to pull away, I knew that this wasn't a kiss driven by list or drugs, and this wasn't going to lead up to anything. It was simply a kiss of reassurance.
And out of all that had happened tonight's this was the one thing I hoped so desperately that she would remember.
"Thank you" Kate whispered after pulling away. "Anytime, darling." Her smile only grew at that, making me feel warm inside.
We both laid down, her curling up to my side, and just like that both of us fell into a deep slumber.
(Kate's new aesthetic board!)
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So a new chapter finally out!!
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