Day 1:
Lucifer woke up feeling numb. Everything that happened yesterday just left him empty, as if a black hole was punched right into his heart sucking every bit of his soul. He quite well remembered the feeling it happened the last time, about a thousand years ago, when he lay beside the sulphur lake in Hell, when his body was melted from the burn of Fall and when he couldn't do anything except to wheeze against the excruciating pain overtaking his body and soul, but mind - his mind was numb. The numbness of abandonment; what so wrong had he done that his family completely disowned him? How cruel was he that none of his siblings even came to help him while he was literally melting in the Hell fire? The numbness covered him like a blanket for a few centuries. And then, then he squeezed his heart too hard to bleed those feelings out, until nothing but stony anger remained. Hell needed the anger. Hell had no place for weakness. And with that the numbness left and the Devil rose.
But now?
He is crippled from all the walls down and the feelings were far too empty as if the hole was sucking them too.
Lucifer swayed on both sides as he headed towards the bathroom, the misplaced breakdown the last night leaving him completely exhausted. He cleaned himself, wore a three piece suit, styled his hair, put on a smiling facade - that he knew he could do very well. Maybe it was another one of the Devil's charms. Or maybe it was his own desire - just to be happy. But thanks to his fate and a certain dear old dad, that was the thing he could never be.
His happiness was too ephemeral. And so he taught himself to be happy, even if he was not. Not really.
He could be absolutely devastated and yet nobody would give a damn about him, if he just could keep up his ruse of his charming facade. Chloe was the only person who could probably take a hint of the turmoil going on inside him behind the happy mask, but now he had broken her too.
Maybe he was broken. Maybe he was the broken bane who destroyed everything he touched. Earlier there was a part in the back of his mind which used to retaliate to this particular notion. But now?
Now he didn't have the strength to debate that. Not everyone could be wrong? Maze, Daniel, Chloe - they all couldn't be wrong. Maybe he was evil.
Maybe by only existing he had done the biggest evil.
The numbness increased tenfold.
Without a standing thought, He wrote the resignation letter and headed to the precinct. For the last time.
He arrived there one hour early to Chloe's shift. It was too soon for her to relive the horror she faced again. And he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to look at the hatred on her face. If anything of him was stil working, he was sure it would break too if he saw her again.
He just couldn't take it anymore.
Lucifer descended the stairs and paused to look at the precinct for the final time, he gaped at Chloe's empty desk like it was the only thing in the world that mattered.. It was.. Not the desk, but Chloe. The sudden sharp pain in his heart escaped as a whimper from his throat.
It hurt, it really hurt. He didn't know how to stop it. The heat behind his eyes were going up to the extent of itching and he rubbed the heel of his palms in his eyes. They came out wet.
Pathetic.
Lucifer panned his eyes to scan the others, the officers he adored so much - Cacuzza tasting the savory muffins, Joan doing her normal paperwork, McMillan jumping up and down with his duty - he was always like that! And with that, His eyes moved to the Lab. Lucifer saw the chirpy scientist examining something behind the blinds.Miss Lopez was always a hardworker. He won't admit, but he really would miss all of them. Even Dan. Most of all the Detective.
It was as if Daniel wore a bell for an ill timed interruption, he walked up from his desk towards Lucifer.
"Why are you here man? " Dan scowled, his tone harder than necessary and without a concrete thought Lucifer could feel the wince his body did. Dan's mouth pressed into a thin line of grimace and he forged on "Look, Chloe doesn't want to work with you anymore.. Even I and Ella don't want to see you! So just get the hell out of here.. "
It felt like a physical blow square on his face, sending him tumbling back. No. Why was he reacting like this? It wasn't something new, was it? It was a theme of his life and he should just get used to that, right? Yet.. And yet..
"What, no funny quip to that? I think you have understand yourself that you are a wrecking ball Lucifer, everything you touch you ruin Man! Didn't even spare Chloe! Real classy man" Daniel hissed the last words like a venom and whatever answer Lucifer had on his tongue died there.
Silence stretched as both of them got lost in their own bubble of thought - Lucifer weighing the truth and Dan stunned with his own words.
Lucifer just kept staring at the floor, almost punching a hole on it with the intensity of his gaze. Dan was right, he knew that. He was a poison, a very toxic one and he deserved to be alone. Emotional intimacy was not his thing and he knew better than to damn anyone to a life where he was a part..
The numbness enveloped him again, increasing Manifold. He kept mummed for a minute and then shoved Dan without acknowledging and walked towards the Lieutenant's office.What could he possibly say? The words have struck him like physical blows knocking him out of his facade. But he won't fuss, he won't give Daniel the satisfaction. He refused to give into that urge of pain and rage...As soon as he handed the letter, he didn't stay for a minute.
Day 2:
Lucifer woke up emptier.
Almost out of an irrational instinction He checked his new phone for any messages, or calls. Maybe Chloe had changed her mind?
But all he got was the nothingness screaming at his face,laughing at his naivety.
What was he expecting? Mostly, why was he expecting?
He spent his rest of the day in Lux, drinking. Tons of it.
Day 3:
He threw an orgy. He needed to feel something. Anything! Maybe sex would do the work? Make him feel things?
Bodies. Kisses.. Nothing
Drugs. Alcohol. No feelings.
More bodies. More Sex.. Nada
More drugs, more alcohol and more sex..
No feelings.
Just a dull ache of emptiness and an irritating heart ache.
Day 4:
He cancelled his session with Linda. Orgies were a bad idea.. He thought passion would be a way to ignite his numbness into something more crystallised. He was wrong.
He contemplated with whatever they desired, he was surrounded by a heap of beautiful bodies rubbing onto him giving him some kind of pleasure, yet he felt empty. Like a machine running on autopilot. He didn't come that night.
Much much later, when his thoughts became coherent enough for a judgement, a new wave of shame washed through him. His own deed felt like a betrayal.
The idea of any other person rather than her made him nauseous.
Maybe being alone, would help him provide clarity? Besides, he was alone.
So he installed a lock in his elevator. He would meet no one. No one else. Not even Maze. He stacked his bar with excessive and unnecessary alcohol bottles and ding, the outer world was cut out..
Day 5:
Lucifer laughed.
An ugly laugh.
The absurdity of the idea that he was apparently needed, made him laugh which soon turned into a half hearted stifled sob.
Ella and Linda were calling him.
He should answer then. He knew he should. They might be worried , another laugh gurgled down his throat. But he just didn't want to. He couldn't bring himself to care about why they were calling him or why was he needed. He was too lazy to step out of his own bubble of drugs and alcohol. He was floating and he didn't want to come down yet.
He didn't want to answer them. So he disconnected the Phone.
Day 6:
His bar went empty followed by his personal stash of drugs.
Day 7:
He thought of making an appearance in Lux, obviously he was not in shape - red rimmed eyes, unshaved and unkempt stubble, disheveled hair and nothing but a robe.. But whatever. Who cared? He came down and walked at the balcony of Lux having a good look at the club. Business was blooming. Good. He went up. And the same process repeated.
He was too high to care.
Day 8:
A lazy thought of cleaning up the mess of his penthouse passed through Lucifer's mind, but he didn't. He was not good, he hadn't eaten anything for almost four days and he felt weak. He hadn't slept for a week. Hunger and fatigue gnawing him,but it was better. Better than the emptiness he was always surrounded by.
Maybe after a few more days, he could go back to the life he led.. Darker and pleasant days..
Maybe.
***********
"Holy Mother of shit! " Ella gasped as she pulled back from the microscope. It had been a week and new cases were dropping so fast that she didn't have time pop her head up from examining and re-examining. Just how she was, Ella kept the feathers with herself so that she could examine them later. It wasn't like every day the LAPD found a big, ass feather in the middle of the crime scene. The more she thought about it, the more jarring it became. Why would there be feathers in a Sinnerman network?
She was actually about to examine them a week ago, but with the new lieutenant coming, Charlotte's death, and new cases coming in, it slipped out of her mind. But today, she was all feathery. (Pun intended)
"What's up? " Dan asked her from behind as he entered the lab..
The scientist quickly turned around, excitement bubbling in her stomach.
"Oh. My. Gosh! You won't believe what I got! " She waited for the guy's reaction and when he threw a questioning look, she forged on "Dan, I am examining the bloody feathers we found at the crime scene.. "
"And? "
"And they were not bird's! " She chirped "Bird's Karyotype carries a higher Deploid number, and the chromosomes are eighty, but these feathers, their DNA is not similar to any species, the chromosome number here is higher than any other spicies! It's 1320!"
"What? That's ummm.. Impossible! "
"I know right! A feather this big! Not a bird's feather and also the highest chromosomal count! This is going to blast the forensic panel! Maybe Pierce being the Sinnerman was trading these feathers? I mean they can be pretty expensive. "
"Trading bloody feathers? "
"Oh yeah, the blood.. The blood is also really very unique, it doesn't match any human or animal blood type. Just like the murder weapon, the metal used to weild the knife is unavailable on the earth at least.. Weird because I have seen Maze with that thing so many times! "
"Maybe it's an antique and only Maze and Lucifer had it? "
"Makes some sense though. Whatever Metal was used to make the weapon is not available now. So yeah, it can be an antique... "
"But it still doesn't make sense! It's like we are looking at a misplaced puzzle without the whole knowledge. " Dan scowled. "And honestly, ever since.. Charlotte nothing makes sense either.. " The guy sighed and his face scrunched into a painful expression.
Ella felt like she was going to break soon. Charlotte was a good friend and she didn't deserve this. Was that what God's justice looked like? She felt bad for Dan too. They just found each other and Charlotte was taken. It was like the Destiny was always against his happiness.
Ella mouthed a 'Sorry',what else could she do? And then an idea hit her, "what about Lucifer? "
"Hmm? "
"No, I mean he was there fighting Pierce right? He should know about the feathers! I know he is a method actor and all, but I am sure he will tell us. Besides Chloe was not even there when Pierce was stabbed.." She spoke on untill a heavy realization dawned upon her, "speaking of, where is Lucifer? It's been like a week, I didn't see him. What happened did he take a vacay or what? I tried calling him a few times this week, but he is not answering at all.. I am worried about him. "
Ella knew it wasn't like Lucifer to be not present for an entire week.. Something was wrong and her suspicion only increased when she saw Dan hesitating.
"Umm... You.. Don't.. You don't know? " Dan asked.
"Know what? "
"Lucifer will not work with us anymore. "
Wait... What?
That was shocking. It didn't make any sense! Why would all of a sudden Lucifer stop working with the LAPD? The dude loved his job! Did something happen between Chloe and Lucifer? It felt like she was the only one missing out on a vital information which everyone else seemed to know.
"What?!why? " She wondered
"Chloe doesn't want to work with him, anymore and also he gave his resignation letter already, a week ago. "
Ella's stomach flipped over the new information. It wasn't until the cogs of her mind completely turned that she spoke anything. And when she did,
"A WEEK AGO! AND HE DIDN'T EVEN MEET ME! but why did he do so? I mean Chloe and Lucifer they are a package and suddenly everything fell apart? "
The fact that Chloe would not want to work with Lucifer! As much as she rolled her eyes, or scold him, she used to love working with Lucifer! Hell she rejected Pierce for Lucifer!? Ella very much thought that they were a thing! Then why would all these happen suddenly? It was like the beautiful sand castle they made was falling apart, their lives were falling apart.
She couldn't let that happen.
She needed to talk to Lucifer, to figure out what ever the hell was going on! How could he leave his Miss Lopez without informing?!?
"Well, I think it's for the best. At least nobody else have to die because of him.. " Dan's words were not at all assuring in fact all it did was increase Ella's agitation.
"Dan! Charlotte was not Lucifer's fault, neither was Pierce! You can't just blame him for anything and everything! " Ella said, with a firmness. She knew Daniel was suffering, but that was no reason to treat with Lucifer the way he did. Maybe it was time for him to seek help.
"You know what, you go and worship your Lucifer! That guy is a wrecking ball and now Chloe realised that too well. I am happy. The freak deserves what he got! " Dan scrambled out of the lab in Long, clumsy strides; clearly in an attempt to control his boiling rage..
Ella sighed. Dan was wrong. Lucifer didn't deserve to be the scape goat in every situation. Even with Lucifer being the jolly, buzzy kinda guy, she knew he had family troubles, an abandonment issue and a heavy past. Even with all of this, he was standing high and he was him.. He was a good man. She knew Dan was blaming him to lessen his own pain, but that was unhealthy. Both for him and for Lucifer.
*********
Chloe forced her mind to shove that red, grotesque image of a certain devil and focus on her paperwork. Since the last week, she had done enough research on the Devil on "Google" And in the "Bible" To know that he indeed was evil - master of Manipulation, king of Lies and The Dark Lord.. So she did the obvious. She fired Lucifer. She deleted his number, blocked and blacklisted him and changed her phone. Surely he wouldn't spy on her right? Could he do that? Had he done that!?
She forbade Trixie to even mention his name in the house. Trixie was although baffled on this recent development about Lucifer, but eventually she complied half heartedly.
For the rest of the week Chloe threw herself to work. It was difficult to place everything on her mind, and sometimes she did miss Lucifer. She would definitely never admit that. She missed his usual banters,innuendos, the morning coffee, his 'Morning Detective!' ,his smile, his childlike pout, his everything!
But then everytime she thought about her partner,the grim memory of the day at the loft came floating to her mind and she would close that particular door mentally. She didnt need to think about him. She didn't need him. And she definitely didn't need the Devil.
Were they different though? Was all of this a lie? Did he manipulate her in feeling that way towards him? Lucifer was kind of a guy, who never took anything seriously. If it would have been any other person, Chloe would have hated him. But when it came to Lucifer, she just couldn't! She loved him because of his childishness, his immaturity, his utter mad way of doing things!
Were all of her feelings towards him a manipulation?
The more she thought about it, more her heart screamed a No. 'What if this was true? Lucifer would never hurt me. He cares for me.. He would never.. '
But her brain had other words. 'He is the Devil! He is Evil! '.. The more she thought of about their partnership, the more she shuddered. Working with the Devil for three years and treating him like a child! What was even thinking?! How did Lucifer feel about all of these things?
"You are the oldest most young person I have ever met! And coming from an immortal that is something! "
Lucifer told her, in their early days of partnership.. And Chloe just rolled her eyes.
Deep down she knew, that Lucifer was good. But what if there was a 'if'? What if it was all fake?
'If he is good, why is he the devil? Why did he kill Pierce? And why did he smile like?! '
The sudden buzzing of her phone made her almost jump off her chair.. She had been on edge all the time an irrational fear enveloping her, choking the life out of her.
She shakily saw the name on the contact list. 'Please let this not be Lucifer, not Lucifer! Please'
The name on the contact took some of her tension away, she relaxed a bit.
Linda.
"Hey Linda. " She answered, trying to keep her voice as normal as possible..
"Hi Chloe, Sorry to disturb you, but have you heard from Lucifer? "
Chloe stiffened.. Why was everyone asking her about Lucifer!? She didn't want to know where he was. And she didn't want to keep any contact with him. "Ummm.. No. "
"It's really strange Chloe. He didn't show up in two sessions, and didn't even inform me to cancel it! It's not like Lucifer at all. I am calling him, but he won't pick up my calls. Now it's just getting disconnected or something, he won't answer my texts. I am worried Chloe. Do you know anything about him? "
A part of her felt worry gnawing at her soul
Linda was right, it was not like Lucifer. Was he alright? Almost forcefully, she pushed it away at the smallest corner of her mind.
"I don't know Linda, where he is. "
"Okay, but is everything alright? You are sounding... Tensed. Did something happen? Do you want to talk about it? " Linda was a therapist and of course she noticed the uneasiness in Chloe's voice.. It wasn't like she was doing her best in keeping her voice from wavering.
"Nope.. Everything fine. Really. No worries. Linda I am kind of busy, got to go. Bye. " She said a bit too quickly . Not caring about any courtesies, Chloe hanged up the phone abruptly. She was worried about him though.
Why did it have to be so complicated ?
She lamented.
*******
Linda was feeling restless.. Something had definitely happened. She was not only Lucifer's therapist, but also his friend. And she knew Lucifer all too well, she knew that if anything would have happened it would have probably made Lucifer regressive or self destructive. Maybe both...
She called Chloe, because she hoped Chloe would know something about Lucifer, but the coldness with which she answered Linda's questions, made her feel uneasy. It was as if she didn't care and that was definitely not like Chloe. Everything seemed wrong.
Linda had to meet Lucifer. She waited until her break and then she drove to Lux.
Lux was blooming, overflowing with people, drunk people mostly. A very good day for the business, Linda thought. But Lucifer was no where to be found. Linda pushed past the crowd, to check whether he was there or not, she checked the dance floor, she checked the piano, but No trace of Lucifer. Lucifer would normally make an appearance at the peak times, like today.. But why was he not there?
This couldn't be good.
The concern increased manifolds.. She hurried past the crowd towards the bar where she spotted Patrick easily.
"Hey Patrick. " She said. Patrick gave her an easy smile before offering a glass of Martini. It was Linda's preference. Thanks to Lucifer, she got free drinks whenever she was in Lux. Linda took a sip of the Martini before talking more. "Uh.. Where is Lucifer? I haven't seen him in a while. "
"Oh, Boss is in the penthouse. He didn't make an appearance today, Dr Martin" Patrick informed while serving the other customers. Linda took in his words.
"And what about the rest of the week? " She asked.
"No.He didn't come down in this whole week. He has cancelled all his appointments and meetings for the Lux expansion though. I am handling the business side. " He said proudly.
That was definitely not a good sign. He was recoiling for some reason. Regressing even. "Can I go up to the Penthouse and talk to him? " Linda asked
"I am sorry Dr Martin, but Boss ordered not allow any visitors. He even locked his elevator. "
"He what? " Now Linda was too worried. Lucifer could be very distressed, but he would never prevent anyone from visiting his penthouse. He would never lock the elevator. Had he cut off from the rest of the world? Was he even okay?
This felt catastrophic to her.
"Yes. He installed a pass code for his elevator. "
"Umm, Patrick, can you go up? "
"Of course" He beamed " I am the only one who can. "
Okay, at least he was allowing one person. That counted as something.
"Can you go up to him and ask whether he would talk to me? He is not answering my calls. " Linda requested.
Patrick nodded and disappeared into the crowd while she waited.
Whatever had happened had shaken both Lucifer and Chloe very badly. And the only thing she could imagine to be this bad was....
Realization dawned upon her like a bucket of water. How could she be so dense? Linda was now joining pieces, Chloe's uneasiness, Lucifer's recoiling...
Chloe knew!
And maybe she didn't react ideally.
If that was the case, then Linda should have reached out to both of them. She should have-
Patrick's return pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Sorry, Dr Martin. He said that he didn't want to talk to you. He has asked you to enjoy yourself, have drinks and you can also order an Uber from my phone for a free ride back. "
"It's okay Patrick I am good. Thank you anyways.. " Linda said curtly. And she left Lux with another load of concern. Lucifer stopped talking. That was worrying. She wished Amenadiel was here, at least he would be able to talk to Lucifer.
Linda felt scared.
.
Lucifer and Chloe, both of them were living in their own hell.