A/N--
SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE! Had christmas, new year and my birthday which just equals a WHOLE lot of family time.
I hope you all had a wonderful christmas and new year and please can I ask you all to fan, comment and vote?
Please?
<3
Chapter 18
I groan as blinding light interrupts my sleep, a peaceful dream of being at home with my family. The weird thing is I wasn't living there. I was visiting. And I wasn't the only one visiting, I was with Logan.
I don't know what it means right now and I don't want to know. The episode that happened last night has made me feel pretty ashamed of myself. I can't believe I gave into him so easily!
Ho, a part of me whispers. I tell it to shut up and tell myself that at least I didn't let him go all the way. How far he wants to go.... I shudder at the thought. I don't even know him, not a bit.
Maybe if I get to know him a little bit better I will become more accepting to the idea of being a Werewolf's mate and what it entails, I conclude. I know that Logan will have to mate with me soon no questions asked. It's a Werewolf thing. Also, I don't think this heat will be extinguished successfully each time it comes back and he has to help me with it. I'm sure that's not the way it works with mating normally.
I would rather get to know him just a little bit and give myself up as willingly as I can than be sexually devoured by a monster without any consent at all from me and be miserable for the rest of my life. I know that I will never be able to escape this Werewolf infested city from their controlling Alpha.
I don't want to think about it as giving up as such, just compromising. Giving myself a bit longer to get my head around all this...bullshit. Argh!
I have no choice and that infuriates me the most.
Clambering out of the bed - one I don't remember falling asleep in - I shuffle to the bathroom, it seems like Logan is somewhere else. And I am really grateful for being left alone, it brings a sense of relief that I can shower by myself.
I hate being treated like a child. I know he cares, in his own Werewolfy way, but it's suffocating.
After showering - and the normal morning routine - I dry my long golden brown hair thoroughly with a fluffy white towel then I dress myself in white cotton shorts and a flowy navy blue top with lace.
Padding barefoot down the hallway that is still scarce of photographs or anything sentimental. I sigh in bliss at not having the annoyance of the heat plaguing my body and thoughts 24/7, I can relax now. But for how long? I don't think this will last that long.
Walking into the living room I see Logan in the kitchen by the cooker. The smell of toast and omelets assaulting my senses. I hear him sniff then he looks up to me with a crooked grin on his face.
His wearing no top giving me a perfect view of him, watching his muscles tense I reminded of them being wrapped around me intimately no that long ago. Yes, sadly, I remember everything from last night. I remember how close I was to getting on my knees to beg for that release, a break from the heat.
Embarrassed I avert my eyes from his and bite down on my lower lip, an unstoppable blush decorating my cheeks. God, he must think I'm all for this mating thing now, I don't want to give up fully just yet.
I take a deep breath to prep myself and look up to see Logan still staring at me with that crooked grin, but now his eyes are filled with unfathomable lust, adoration....and love? Oh no. Shit, he must think I love him now or something.
He moves his pointer finger in 'a-come-here' motion to me, my first reaction is to resist. But without even knowing it my legs start moving until I end up right in front of him. With his manly scent invading my senses I realise how close I am to him. Oh great!
My eyes trail over his eight pack, god I may not like him but I sure can appreciate a nice body. His deep chuckle brings my eyes back up to look into his. His crooked grin is now replaced with a smirk. A smirk? A fucking smirk! I know why he's smirking, the asshole, as he can see me checking him (yes i checked him out) and because of what happened last night. Humph!
He's never going to let me live this down, is he?
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After having breakfast, and yes I had to share a plate and sit on his lap despite my protests. I could hardly concentrate on eating with all that muscle pressed against me.
Now, we are sitting on the sofa. Me between his parted legs and his arms constricted around me, his thumb underneath my top rubbing my stomach, and my back once again pressed against his chest. He flicks through channels by the remote in his other hand.
"Logan....", I trail off after breathing his name not sure how to start my questioning. I've decided to go through with my plan now, though I refuse to admit I have been defeated, this is a compromise.
"Mmm?", is his answer accompanied by a nuzzling to my neck.
"I was thinking....you know that I don't want to...go all the way yet", I pause as his arms tighten, choosing my next words carefully. "I just don't feel like I know you enough to go that far, maybe if you answered some of my questions... I just want to talk, catch up with all that has been happening emotionally...and mentally. It all has been going so fast and far lately."
I mumble "besides it's not like I'm going to be with anyone else the rest of my life". Begrudgingly even I have to admit this is true, he will never let me go... And I will never be able to run from an Alpha male in a world controlled by Werewolves. Even I have to come to terms with it now, this is my life now.
Whether I like it or not.
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For the past...I don't know how many hours now, but I know that it has been long enough for my stomach to be hurting from hunger, me and Logan have been talking. Really talking.
I've learnt so much about him. Apparently his favourite colour is now light blue, and I say now as he has told me so much about him.
We're still in the same position as I wait for him to respond to my proposition. After I said that we were going to be together for the rest of our lives, surely he would answer my questions? I thought werewolves like to get to know their mates?
As I still wait for him to say something...anything he suddenly turns me around. He pauses to look into my eyes then he clashes his lips on mine in a hungry passion, I make a sound of protest from this unexpected intrusion of personal space, my eyes still wide open in shock. I said I wanted to talk! Not swap spit!
Logan moves back and runs his hands over my hair repeatedly to end all the touching with cupping my face. His dark eyes have seem to light up like a city, like someone just told him he won the lottery. He pecks my lips and says breathlessly, like he can't believe it, " I've been waiting for you to say this for the past few days."
"Oh...so is a good thing I want to talk?", I question him, still confused by his reaction.
"Of course Ve. I want us to know everything about each other." I just smile uneasily at him. Surely not everything? I mean I can't possibly tell him about my awkward first kiss when I was 7, I dread to think of what he'll think when I tell him that is the same person who took my virginity. Reece. God! I forgot all about him, I should really call him. Looking at Logan I decide I should do it when he is not in hearing distance. Yeah, I think that would be safer.
No one wants Reece to be torn to parts by a jealous, possessive Alpha werewolf. Definitely not me.
"Ermm....so, what is your favourite colour?", I ask him, thinking of the first question everyone seems to when getting to know someone.
He leans forward to brush his nose against mine and kiss the top of my cheek, near my right eye. "My new favourite colour is light blue, the colour of your eyes my Angel. I Love looking into your eyes to watch all the hues of blue swirl together. Especially when your aroused, they change to the colour of the Mediterranean sea, like they did last night.... And right now."
I blink and look away from him clearing my throat uncomfortably, I wasn't aroused...was I? He must be playing with me, I shouldn't be turned on by his naked chest being that close to me and him breathing down my neck and nibbling on my earlobe. Yep, so not aroused.
This is how the rest of our evening went on, me and him asking questions back and forth. And me being uncomfortable any time he looked straight into my eyes, afraid what he'll see there. I've learnt that the reason why I haven't even been introduced to his parents yet is that they are right now on a 'round the world which will be ending in two weeks. Apparently they can't wait to meet their only son's mate.
That's right he has no siblings, and he made a joke about how his mom said that she will want a lot of grandchildren so we better get cracking. Yeah...cringe. I'm just about getting to know the guy, I don't want to be pregnant. Another reason I'm holding off the mating .
Right now I'm standing in the kitchen cooking dinner as he watches my every move. I can't catch a break, it's not like I'm going to burn myself on purpose. I feel arms slide around my waist and he kisses my mark as I stand over the stove. His front pressed to my back.
He sighs and says, "Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen."
I stiffen as I become uncomfortable with being mentioned about me being pregnant twice in one day. Also that saying is very sexist.
"Logan, I'm not pregnant", I mumble wanting to point out the obvious, the obvious that I'm happy about.
"Yes but you will soon be, and you will look beautiful baring my children."
My eyes pop out of my head. Soon!
What is that suppose to mean?