Louis was taught from an early age to be calm and certain. He was required to be decisive with every word that he uttered, every action that he took, and he could never forget the deep wound that all those callous and relentless lessons had buried within his heart, the strain that had been felt with each painful tug at his heartstrings. He resented the scrutiny that shadowed him like a plague as he grappled with countless rules and information that he had to adhere to and understand if he was to properly run the Howard duchy in the country of Wysteria. He remembered the pang of sadness that had struck him like a knife when he witnessed with his own widened eyes how stiff and restricted an art such as dancing was, how sharp and judgemental the words of heartless nobles could be, how doing something that he had poured all his effort into flawlessly disappointed and angered many who wanted to see him humiliated and broken down. No matter how calm, unaffected and controlled his gaze was, no matter many times he was certain, perfection – including utter certainty at all circumstances – was doubtlessly impossible, even if the most selfish and demanding of the nobility elected to ignore that as they sank deeper within their own hypocrisy.
Thankfully, not every single person in the royal palace was self-centred, deceitful or relentless like nearly everyone else that Louis had the misfortune of crossing paths with. And one such person was inevitably, and doubtlessly, none other than the King's advisor and Royal Chamberlain:
Giles Christophe.
Despite his thorough meticulousness around people he had just met, Louis had never had an issue with Giles, even back when they first met years ago. Despite not being cold, rigid or distant on the outside, Giles was easily one of the most level-headed people Louis knew, able to control his own emotions in a way that seemed near effortless. Shrewd, decisive and fair, he was the princess' primary tutor as well as the one who had offered for Louis to be her dance instructor and tutor in fine arts, which the younger blond had accepted without hesitation fully aware that Giles knew what he was doing. Louis observed that while he and Giles had their share of similarities, which mainly revolved around their calm composures and practised mannerisms, their differences were also vividly evident on a daily basis. For one, Giles' charisma was interconnected with his charming smiles, warm approachability and witty jokes, whereas Louis was more distinguished for his sculpted features, flawless conduct and refined elegance. While maintaining consistent professionalism, Giles was a much more welcoming and reassuring presence than Louis, like water in contrast to ice. Louis truly found it rather strange yet comforting how Giles, as well as Leo, could remain outwardly warm and amicable even though he was constantly surrounded by nobles who wished for nothing more than him slipping up and being humiliated for the sake of self-satisfaction and curing boredom.
Deep down, however... the fact actually wrenched Louis's heart, for Giles was able to do the one thing that Louis wished he could have done for himself throughout being surrounded by cold-hearted nobility: save his own self from shutting down his feelings and turning into an emotionless doll in the eyes of everyone else. To feel something besides this loneliness that I have to hide away behind what they call a gaze made of ice... He was unsure if he could ever fulfil that wish completely, to ever feel what it meant to have a heart that was not lonely at all ever again. Sometimes he was unsure if he felt anything at all besides that cold loneliness from the time morning was brought to light until it faded into dusk. What he did not realize, however, was that there were certain people more than close enough to see the emotions that were hidden behind the layers of frozen ice and practised elegance, the warmth that the cruel nobles thought they had extinguished all those years ago.
Giles was one of those people. Those hidden emotions that even Louis himself did not fully fathom were actually one of the main reasons why Giles respected the younger duke so much – not only as a person of high social standing, but also as a friend and human being. With a wry smile, being one of the only people who understood Louis to that extent, Giles secretly wished that those same emotions could move Louis in the heart gradually.
The truth was, after all, besides Louis' expertise, there was a legitimate reason why Giles had entrusted him with teaching and looking after the princess.
No matter how many times I come here, this is still one of my few favourite places in the palace.
Taking a step closer to the fountain, Louis listened to the cascading of water droplets as beams of sunlight quietly pooled in the near silence, countless flowers gathered in silent bloom amid a sanctuary that only existed to him if not a single other soul was around.
It is one of the only places where I do not have to worry so much about being a duke, but rather... Louis hid a sad smile, the child who has been afraid and never actually asked for any of this...
His white flower bookmark, gifted by the orphanage, was tucked in the inner pocket of his navy blue jacket, being one of the only remaining things that connected him back to his former life that he could never return to. Standing alone in the palace garden, Louis gazed down at the baby blue clematis, violets, scarlet roses, yellow daffodils and multifarious flowers that spread their petals in countless more clusters in a place that was not nearly as kind or giving as their colours gave it a semblance of. Because you are small, no matter how beautiful you are, they will never deem you to be enough.
Louis could never count how many members of the nobility, regardless if from Wysteria, Stein or any other country, did not spare a single fleeting glance upon these flowers that may not seem to be anything to them but were a calming piece of paradise to people who did not believe that superficial qualities or grandiose events were all there was to life, to people like Louis. If feelings are flowers, then those nobles are the light that has turned away from those flowers and close its eyes... as the petals fade away. Crouching down in a single graceful sweep, Louis felt the ends of his blue jacket spread across the soft blades of grass as he reached forward and caressed the tender petals of a white daisy that was not quite the same but similar enough to the flower in his pressed bookmark. I do not want flowers or petals to fade and disappear.
Almost regretfully letting go, Louis stood back up and lowered his eyes, sadness swelling inside his heart like flowers dissolving in clear water.
The wish upon the white flower... How it has led to this... I'm not sure I can ever understand.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Duke Louis Howard! You must have plenty of time to kill if you're standing idly by here of all places!"
Sid.
Swivelling around, Louis narrowed his eyes at Sid, mild vexation overshadowing his heart as the dark-haired information dealer strode towards him with a haughty smirk. His dark blue eyes glinted with that exact same smirk as his coat swayed behind him, taunting Louis without the need for words. "I could say the same for you. What are you doing here?"
"You know, the usual errands." Sid waved off the question with nonchalance slipping from his tongue. Nonchalance: something that Sid had plenty of and Louis almost never touched. "Giles asked for more info, so here I am in all my glory." His lips curved into a sly grin. "Boy do you look pleased to see me, huh, Louis?"
"I meant, here in this garden." Louis' voice was quiet but crisp, well aware that Sid was trying to mess with his head like he always did. "However, you do not have to answer, because I'm leaving."
There went the serenity of the garden.
"I came early, so I overheard Giles talking with His Majesty," Sid called out as Louis began walking away. "About you." Louis stopped briefly, but decided to keep walking. "You heard me. He reported to the king that things were going smoothly according to plan. Said that there was no need to worry so much since you and the princess were getting along just fine."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Louis questioned, his voice a note sharper as he turned to face Sid, who was already smirking at his face. "And for all I know, you could simply be lying to entertain yourself with my reactions. It would not be the first time."
"Hey, I'm not going to fib about palace business of all things," Sid countered, not at all fazed by Louis' words. "At the end of the day, it's up to you if you believe me, but have you ever wondered why Giles wants you to be close to the princess? Selecting you to be his dance instructor? Asking if you wanted to accompany her to all those meetings and lend your assistance? Well, all I can say is congratulations to you, Duke Louis Howard, as Giles..."
Sid's smirk curved even more, gleeful to the point that it was almost sinister.
"Giles chose her as the princess based on how compatible he thought she would be with you."
Louis' heart froze at those words. "Looks like the orphan's going to be crowned prince, then king. What a feat that is!" His eyes slowly widening, Louis stared at Sid, who was watching him with an expectant smirk, hoping in his heart that of all the things that Sid lied to him about, this was one of them. However, even as cunning, outrageous and utterly ridiculous Sid could be, deep inside of him, Louis knew that there was no way Sid would lie about something like this to intentionally mess with both him and Giles, even if the way he relayed the message left much to be desired. However, if Sid was telling the truth, then this entire time, Giles had planned for Louis to be crowned Prince Consort. It meant that from the very moment he selected who would become the princess elect, Giles had placed Louis at the very centre of a grand scheme, which, if gone according to plan, would put Louis in a position of even higher power than he already was, all while Louis had no idea about it, all while yet again... Louis did not ask for any part in it. Louis had known that he was the most favoured candidate for Prince Consort, but to discover that Giles had created this scheme that he had no idea about was...
Forcing himself to not finish the thought, Louis turned his back on Sid and headed back into the palace corridors, not caring where he ended up as he lowered his eyes and did his best to hide the trembling of his own heart. He could understand where Giles was coming from; he honestly could. And he knew that if anyone else were in his position, they would feel honoured to be thought so highly by none other than the King's advisor. However...
It is not the first time that I have been pulled into a grand plan that I never had any intention of being a part of, moved around and observed like a puppet. Maybe I should not be surprised, and yet...
Deep pain wrenched his heart like a knife.
I did not believe that you would do the same to me... Giles.
...
"Sir Alyn?"
Giles set his parchment onto his desk, his expression inquisitive.
"Is something the matter? You do not usually come at this hour."
"Normally I would just mind my own business," Alyn stated with a slight frown, crossing the room as soon as the door to Giles' private office was shut, "but during a round of patrol, I heard something that I think you ought to know."
"What is it?" Giles asked, raising an eyebrow.
Alyn's frown deepened, as though he was remembering something that was to his distaste. "Did you choose the princess based on how you thought she would get on with Louis?"
Giles' eyes widened at the unexpected question. Furrowing his eyebrows, he calmly met Alyn's crimson eyes and folded his arms, his voice equally-calm. "Where exactly did you hear this from?"
"Sid." The name of the notorious information dealer made an ominous feeling coil around his heart like a serpentine. "I was doing my round in the palace garden when I heard Sid taunting Louis as per usual. Except that instead of his typical goading, he said that you chose the princess based on how compatible she would be with Louis." Giles narrowed his eyes. "Said it was why you wanted him to be close to the princess, including all those lessons and meetings."
Alyn shook his head.
"The reason I'm standing here now is not because of what I feel about this, but because of what Louis feels. I don't know what he's going to do the next time you see him, but I think that you ought to know beforehand that after Sid said all that to his face, Louis left without saying anything. And we both know that the normal Louis would have shot back at Sid of all people." His gruff voice turned a bit softer. "I think that you really need to set things straight with Louis, Giles."
Giles noted that Alyn was not only concerned about him, but also Louis. Just like his twin brother Leo, Alyn was friends with Louis and did not quite approve of the way Sid goaded and taunted Louis, even if only for 'harmless fun' as Sid implied. Crossing his arms, Giles lowered his eyes towards the parchment again, completely aware that Alyn was right. When he visited the King's chambers to report to him the princess' progress, which included her relationships with the potential candidates for Prince Consort, Giles had not thought in the slightest that anyone would eavesdrop. His meeting with Sid was indeed scheduled directly after his meeting with the King, but he had not expected the information dealer to come across the conversation and have the audacity to leak it to someone who should not have known about it. There was a valid reason why Giles never disclosed his criterion for determining the princess elect, after all. Alyn left to return to his patrol station after Giles thanked him for notifying him of the matter, and the Royal Chamberlain heaved out a quiet sigh as he contemplated when and how he could clarify this with Louis. If Sid only told Louis, there should be no issue about this information leaking to others as Duke Howard is professional in regards to palace-related matters. However, if I understand Alyn's recounting of Louis' reactions correctly...
Giles faced the door, deep concern thickening around his heart like fog.
Given how vague Sid's words were-
A violent pang struck his head like a blunt sword, cutting him off short as his eyes slowly dilated.
Clutching his right temple, Giles leaned forward as he gritted his teeth, mentally cursing his own body for acting up at a time like this as he strained to regain his composure. His work was far from finished. He had to sort out the invitations that the princess had received from various nobles, readjust her schedule, and look through a number of important documents related to the palace. Taking in a slow inhalation, Giles began formulating a plan to have a private conversation with Louis, aware that the both of them were scheduled to attend a meeting alongside the princess to discuss their alliance with Stein. Doing his best to ignore the coughs threatening to clog up his own throat, Giles decided that he would request some of Louis' time once the meeting was over to have their much-needed conversation thanks to Sid.
The fact that Louis was not the kind of person to simply ignore or disregard him when he was upset was sincerely reassuring, especially since this was a significant matter. Not only that, but he was unsure his head could handle it if he were to raise his voice at this rate. At the throbbing of his chest, Giles smiled bitterly as he shifted his attention back to the parchment in hand and read through the lines, willing his body to at least last until the end of the day.
...
It was clear that Giles knew that Louis knew the moment their eyes met in the corridor.
They exchanged their usual greetings, but as Louis maintained a calm demeanour, he could feel his own heart clench upon the realization as to who exactly these two people with him were. He was about to attend a meeting with the man who had chosen the princess based on how compatible she was deemed to be with Louis, and the princess herself. The thought that even fate itself was scheming against him at a time like this constrained his heart like the chains that he had not even noticed had been there in the first place. Despite his personal feelings towards the situation, however, Louis nodded and responded as politely as he usually did when Giles greeted him by title and with a meaningful smile, although they did not converse as much as they normally did. Thankfully the princess did not seem to notice the underlying tension between the duke and the royal advisor, smiling cheerfully as she chatted with the both of them while waiting for the meeting to begin.
"While a greater proportion of the nobility has come to accept our growing diplomatic relations with Stein, there is still quite a number who are still at unrest and hold certain distrust towards our neighbour," Giles noted with a slight frown, crossing his arms as several bureaucrats glanced in their direction and murmured amongst themselves. "Our most recent example is how some conspired to frame Stein for an attack in Wysteria."
"However, we are presenting given facts, so unless the other parties are not willing to listen to reason, this meeting should go smoothly," Louis remarked calmly. He turned to the princess, and his gaze softened. "If anything happens, Giles and I will support you. You understand that, right?"
"Of course," the princess answered without hesitation, her smile warm. "Thank you, both of you!"
Louis gave her a small smile as Giles smiled with satisfaction at the princess' confidence. As much as Louis had tried to deny it at the beginning, he had actually grown fond of the princess ever since their first encounter in the palace garden. Despite being new to the life of a royal, she was assiduous towards every task in hand, graciously accepting her faults and gradually improving no matter how much pain and suffering she had endured in the hands of the cold and callous nobles that craved to witness her downfall. Louis had been terrified that as a commoner-turned-princess, she would suffer the exact same way he had when he was still a child, but regardless of anything and everything, she persevered and grew to be a princess worthy of the trust and respect of her people, and Louis could not help but admire her strength and earnestness towards all of it. When Giles offered him the task of teaching the princess everything that she needed to know about subjects like art and etiquette, Louis had believed that the Chamberlain chose him based on his expertise in those fields. He most certainly did not think that the motive of her growing closer to him so that he would be crowned Prince Consort existed in this situation. While a part of him genuinely wished that Sid did not reveal even a shred of it to him, Louis could already feel his own heart clouding over in a cold haze, the picture before his eyes changing as the truth smudged it with a different perspective, a different story.
Maybe he was being foolish for being this affected on the inside. However, if he was to be completely honest, he was unsure as to what to feel. As long as he served as the duke of Howard, he was a puppet of his 'adoptive' parents, even from their graves. So why does it affect me this much knowing that I am a puppet yet again, in yet another master plan?
He was unsure he wanted to know anymore.
Throughout the meeting, both Louis and Giles stayed by the princess' side, intervening whenever any of the bureaucrats were disrespectful or disruptive, presenting clear arguments that supported the princess' factual statements and respectful opinions. Giles was well-prepared as always, clearly deserving his position as the princess' main tutor and advisor, having memorized critical facts from documents and previous events correlating with Stein, including King Byron himself. However, as the princess spoke, Louis turned and noticed that Giles' left hand was trembling ever so slightly. That was when he began to notice that while Giles was definitely prepared with the required information in hand, he had simply allowed the princess and Louis to handle most of the talking, passing them the necessary documents without so much as a single statement. Giles? When a hot-tempered bureaucrat snapped at the princess, Louis swiftly intervened with a calm but sharp warning, not just for the princess, but also so that Giles did not need to exert himself more than he already was. Glancing at Giles, Louis observed as the Chamberlain gave him a subtle nod while maintaining a calm face, quietly thanking him.
Despite how calm Giles' expression was, however, Louis' concerns had shifted.
That was why as soon as the meeting was over, after the princess thanked them and left for a history lesson with Leo, Louis quietly requested for Giles to come with him and led him to a more-secluded area in the palace corridor, away from the meeting hall. "Giles, are you alright?"
"I am fine, Your Grace," Giles answered, although he was clearly leaning against the wall with one hand, still remaining calm. "I am aware that you saw a moment of weakness from me during the meeting, but you need not be concerned of my well-being." The last sentence made Louis' heart clench tightly. "Besides, we both know that there is a pressing matter that requires honest clarification. Therefore, let us continue this in my office-"
Giles was sharply interrupted by a violent cough, and Louis' eyes widened.
"Giles!"
"It's nothing..." Giles insisted, covering his mouth, even as he doubled over, his shoulders trembling. He shook his head as Louis placed a hand on his shoulder. "You have other matters... to worry over... not me-" Giles coughed again, clenching his teeth. "Duke Howard-"
"Alyn!" Louis yelled out to the captain of the royal guard who just emerged from the entrance of another corridor. Alyn spun around and his scarlet eyes dilated when he saw Giles and Louis. "Alyn, get the palace doctor! I'm taking Giles back to his room."
"Got it, Louis!"
Alyn immediately turned on his heels and darted towards the direction he came from as Louis wrapped Giles' arm around his shoulder and began guiding him in the opposite direction. As Louis whispered for Giles to stay strong, some of the bureaucrats that had been lounging nearby stared at them as they walked past, murmuring without so much as offering a helping hand as rumours and gossip sprung like thorns from a flower bush. Keeping his eyes on a pallid Giles, Louis felt his heart falter in his chest as the Chamberlain slumped against Louis, no longer able to retain the strong exterior he had used to hide his pain. It did not take long for his amber eyes to slip to a silent close, the last thing reaching his ears being Louis' pained whisper.
The doctor believed that Giles had a high fever, most likely caused by overexertion. Giles was known to be a stubborn workaholic, which Alyn remarked with a heavy sigh after the doctor had left the both of them alone with the bedridden Chamberlain. Due to the abrupt twist in circumstances, Louis was assigned the responsibility of taking Giles' place in advising and assisting the princess for the upcoming gala with help from Leo, who had also shaken his head with a worried face upon seeing that his old friend had driven himself to the ground.
"Looks like fate just loves you, Louis." Louis stopped walking at the sound of that familiar, mocking voice. Narrowing his eyes, Louis turned and was unsurprised to find Sid leaning casually against the wall, his lips curled into an incessant smirk. "The guy who selected the princess for you ain't conscious and thanks to that, you are spending more time with Her Royal Highness herself."
"Rather than taunt me, you should make yourself useful to the princess by searching for vital information," Louis simply stated, his voice calm but cold as his eyes locked with Sid's. "If you will excuse me, I do not have time to waste."
"Paying a visit to the Royal Chamberlain's room again?" Sid questioned, his voice oozing with mockery as he fell into pace next to Louis who was not at all in the mood to listen to Sid of all people. "Heard that you've visited the dear matchmaker at least twice now. Let me guess. Can't wait for him to wake up so that you can barrage him with the questions of that heart of yours, Louis?"
"If you think that I am that apathetic as a person," Louis stated, whirling around to meet Sid's eyes directly, "that I want Giles to wake up just so that he can answer my questions, then you do not know me at all. Giles is unwell, Sid, and if you think that I do not care, you could not have been more wrong."
His heart frosted over even as it clenched tightly in his chest, his voice quiet but cold.
"If you do pay him a visit, you had better not cause any more problems than you already have."
Without waiting for a response, Louis strode past Sid and disappeared down the corridor, refusing to beguile his childhood acquaintance even more than he already was by simply existing. As he observed Louis walk away, however, Sid's arrogant smirk shifted into a more genuine expression, his dark blue eyes taking a lighter hue. He just basically admitted that he cares and yet I don't think he even gets it.
Shaking his head in mild amusement, Sid strode into another corridor, inwardly pleased by his own results.
Looks like you might not have shut down as much as I thought you did, huh, Louis?
The next morning, Louis visited Giles' office upon the latter's request from the prior day. Upon regaining consciousness, Giles had apologized for troubling Louis and the younger male had shaken his head in reassurance, saying that it was fine. Aware that Louis would not allow him to push himself, Giles had told him to meet him the following day, saying that they needed to talk despite Louis insisting that Giles needed to rest. However, when Giles firmly questioned whether Louis would rather have the conversation that same day or the next, Louis shook his head and relented, deciding that Giles would not be able to concentrate on himself if their problem was still hovering over them both. Therefore, while Giles remained seated upright on his bed, most of his lower body covered by his lilac quilt, Louis sat on a wooden chair next to the bed, two cups and a teapot of chamomile tea on the bedside table with a glass of warm water, the both of them alone in the pure silence of the bedroom that served as Giles' office.
"Once again," Giles let out a soft sigh, "I apologize for the inconvenience that I have caused you, Duke Howard. Bearing witness to such an unbecoming state of mine-" Giles grimaced and coughed softly "-could not have been a pleasant experience."
"You do not have to apologize, Giles," Louis assured him, slowly shaking his head as he passed Giles the glass of water. "It was not an inconvenience, and I am glad that you are recovering. I truly am." He examined Giles' face, noting that his face was still paler than usual. "I sincerely think you should rest, Giles. We can talk about what we need to when you are feeling better."
"No," Giles refused, shaking his head as he returned the glass to Louis. "My illness has postponed this conversation a day too long. And you know me, Duke Howard; I am not likely to be able to fully repose should this matter remain unsettled." He offered a wry smile. "Therefore, let us start from the very beginning."
His amber eyes turned serious.
"Now. What exactly did Sid tell you?"
"Sid told me that he overheard you speaking with the King," Louis answered, his voice quiet and calm as he looked directly into Giles' eyes. "That you told the King that your plan was advancing the way you wanted and that the princess and I were getting along."
Louis' voice turned a bit quieter.
"He said that you chose her based on how compatible you believed she would be with me."
"That is exactly what Sir Alyn told me the other day," Giles mused, frowning slightly as he crossed his arms. "He said that he overheard Sid speaking to you in the palace garden. That was how I came to know that Sid had divulged to you something that should not have been known to him in the first place."
"Does it mean that it's true?" Louis asked quietly, although he knew the answer already.
Giles nodded. "It is."
Louis nodded briefly, his calm expression concealing the pain beating within his own heart. Observing Louis' reaction, Giles released a soft sigh and continued.
"It was not my intention to make you feel used, Duke Howard." Giles' voice was softer, careful even, and the quiet words brought an icy chill slipping down Louis' spine. "Due to Sid's verbal proclamations, I am partly aware of your difficult upbringing, and it is safe to say that this issue has brought back unpleasant memories for you. I need you to understand that it was not at all my intention. Moreover, the reason Alyn notified me of this matter is because he is worried about you, and I would be lying if I did not feel the same." Giles' expression was almost regretful as his amber eyes softened. "We would not be having this conversation if all I think of you is a key piece of a plan and not a human being."
"You chose her for me," Louis said, lowering his eyes. "The moment you chose the princess elect of Wysteria, I became a part of a plan that you wanted to see realized. Another thing that I find unsettling, Giles, is that if you chose her based on how you thought she would connect with me, then it means that... you did not truly believe in her and her true worth when you selected her. The criteria were never disclosed, so based on how the situation appears to be, everyone would assume that you chose her for what you saw in her, for what you yourself believed, not for someone else. If you chose her so that I would eventually be crowned..."
His voice felt almost vulnerable as pain laced his words.
"If she ever finds out, it'll make her feel like more of a puppet... than me."
"This is the exact reason why no one, let alone you or the princess, should ever have known," Giles remarked, folding his arms, although there was regret evident in his voice. "I can honestly understand your perspective of these circumstances, Duke Howard, and I cannot entirely refute it. However..."
Giles narrowed his eyes slightly, even though pain glimmered in those amber eyes.
"I still believe that I made the right decision, and I believe that it is time I tell you why."
Leaning back against the pillows that Louis had propped up for him, Giles looked directly into Louis' eyes.
"Why do you think that I wish for you to be Prince Elect?"
"From my understanding, candidates for the position of Prince Elect need to have a kind of royal standing," Louis began slowly, carefully filtering through the possibilities in his mind. "Based on the fact that I am a duke, I meet that requirement." Giles nodded once, listening. "But that is not the only requirement. The Prince Elect needs to understand and be able to handle royal responsibilities, including looking after an entire country, and have expertise in a variety of fields such as history, strategic planning, and time management. Not only that, but the Prince Elect needs to be approved by the people. And in regards to that matter..."
Louis let out a soft breath that almost felt like a resignation.
"I know that I am the most favoured candidate. From everything that I have said, I can understand why you would want me to be the Prince Elect, regardless how I feel towards this."
"Duke Howard..."
Giles began, releasing another sigh as he shook his head.
"You are right, but at the same time, wrong." Louis gave him a confused look. "Those are part of the reasons why you are the prime candidate for the position, but none of those reasons are the main reason why I believed – and still believe – that you are the most suitable candidate to be crowned Prince Elect. If all that mattered in the selection were royal standings, popularity or expertise, there would be plenty more candidates to choose from. However, the main reason why you are my prime choice..."
His lips, for the first time today, curved into a gentle smile.
"... is because of who you are, Duke Howard."
Louis' heart froze into ice, only to be thawed out by a loud thrum, those vague yet unexpected words resonating like a bell. Slowly releasing a careful exhalation, Louis repeated the words so quietly it was almost as though they were delicate like glass. "Because... of who I am?"
"A heartless man, no matter of what social standing, is unworthy of ruling over a country," Giles asserted firmly, a serious gaze in his amber eyes. "You cannot rule over anything, let alone a country, if your heart has no room for anyone other than yourself. You know as much as I do that the majority of nobility are as callous as they are prejudiced and deceitful towards others, even to those of equal social standing, for they often forget to take a proper look at themselves and their flaws in the mirror. However, even with your position as a duke, you are a true, unwavering exception amongst nobility and palace staff alike. You are neither arrogant nor condescending. Nor are you inconsiderate or egotistical. As a matter of fact, for all the time I have known you personally... you have always been the complete opposite."
Exhaling a soft sigh, Giles straightened his shoulders as he spoke.
"Blunt as you may be, you are one of the sincerest and most honest people that I know. Would I be right if I were to say that you took on the role of teaching the princess because you wished to protect her from the moment she was chosen? And that it is also why you considered her feelings in regards to my selection methods?" Giles' smile curved even more when Louis did not make a single protest. "Precisely. That is exactly why I entrusted you with the princess and her well-being. Above your expertise and eloquence, Duke Louis Howard, you are much kinder and selfless than you give yourself credit for. Anyone close to you can tell simply by being with you. Your heart is the main reason why I believe that you are the perfect candidate for Prince Consort. That is why while I do realize that my methods were, to an extent, damaging..."
His amber eyes were warm with sincerity, just like his soft voice.
"I chose the princess based on how compatible I believed she would be with a kind-hearted, genuine and selfless young man. And looking at the both of you as well as how she has flourished like a flower in full bloom, I do not regret my decision, regardless how flawed the method was."
"Giles..."
Louis averted his gaze, his voice quiet as his heart trembled with deep emotion. To be sincerely told that he was seen as a human being and his own person, that his heart was what mattered the most... It brought both pain and warmth squeezing at his heart tightly as he slowly relinquished a long breath that he had barely realized he had been holding. Raising his head to face Giles again, Louis felt his heart squeeze again as his voice slipped out both calm and soft. "I didn't know you felt that way. I'm so sorry, Giles."
"No." Giles shook his head, giving Louis a rueful smile. "I'm sorry. The fact remains that I did place you in a compromising position without your knowledge. I mean this apology as much as I meant every word that I have just spoken to you. I never wished to make you, or the princess, feel like a puppet forced into a scheme." Guilt stained his amber eyes. "I hope that you can forgive me."
"It is fine, Giles," Louis assured Giles, carefully pouring tea into the Chamberlain's teacup. "Since everything is clear now, you should rest. You still have a fever and I know that you pushed yourself so that you could have this conversation with me." His expression eased into a small but sincere smile as he held out the teacup and its saucer to Giles. "Leo, Alyn and I will look after the princess and take care of her lessons in your stead. So please do not worry and do rest so that you can recover soon."
"I will," Giles agreed, giving Louis a genuine smile of his own as he accepted the teacup. "Speaking of that, the princess has a dance lesson scheduled with you in fifteen minutes, correct?" Glancing at the grandfather clock, Louis nodded. "So we will talk again another time. I am grateful that we have a clearer understanding of each other now."
"So do I, Giles," Louis answered, smiling slightly as he stood up from the chair. "Thank you."
"Thank you as well. But there is one more thing."
Giles stopped Louis just as he was turning towards the door. Louis turned to Giles again as the older male faced him.
"After I am well enough, do you suppose that we can have tea together outside of royal obligations," Giles' expression was warmer than he had ever seen it, "Louis?"
"Louis."
Louis' eyes widened with pure surprise as his heart fell with a heavy thud in his chest, unsure how long it had been since the last time the Royal Chamberlain called him by only his first name instead of with his title added at the front or the usual "Duke Howard". Smiling softly, Louis nodded without hesitation. "Of course, Giles. I will be sure to bring some of your favourite sweets as well."
Chuckling warmly, Giles gave a firm nod in return.
"It's our promise."
They gave each other one last sincere smile before Louis opened the door and exited the bedroom, his heart much lighter than it was prior to this meeting. Along with my white flower bookmark and the wish that I have made upon it, one of the only things from my life in the orphanage that I managed to keep... is my name: Louis.
Even after the door closed and separated him and Giles, Louis could feel the slight smile tugging at his lips and his heartstrings, soothing him with gentle feelings that he was grateful that he could still feel and touch.
The main reason I was hurt, and the reason that I am smiling now, is that I wanted you to see me as a person, not a mere part of a plan to realize or a man of high social standing. As much as I rarely use the word... you are a friend to me, Giles. And as someone that I care about...
Louis glanced at the door one more time before heading in the direction of the ballroom, his heart warm like the sunlight illumining the palace garden, including the white flower from his bookmark that was said to only grow there.
I am glad that you see me for me... as Louis.
On the other side of the wall, Giles released a sigh of relief that he had refrained from unveiling when Louis was still present in the room. The thought that Sid listening in on a conversation had been what led up to the both of them to bear their true feelings like this was rather baffling in itself, although Giles was sure to give Sid a clear reprimand for the act. Sipping the chamomile tea that Louis had requested to be brewed for him, Giles closed his eyes with a slight smile, his purple hair falling over his back as he leaned forward a little more. The reason that Giles had persisted in convincing Louis to have their private meeting this morning was not at all because the Royal Chamberlain was worried about Louis informing anyone else about the truth as to how the princess was chosen – Giles knew that Louis was much too careful and considerate to do so. Neither was it because Giles was viewing this matter from a business perspective, with Louis being a prominent duke in Wysteria.
The reason why was that Giles did not wish for Louis to believe that he was the same as countless amongst the nobility – seeing the blond as nothing more than a vessel or a tool. When they had their honest conversation, Giles and Louis were not merely talking as Royal Chamberlain and Duke of Howard, or as just mutual acquaintances of the princess. Even though the conversation did include the royal system and its flaws, the two of them were talking as Giles and Louis, as people, who despite their royal standings, were human beings and friends that understood and considered the concept of the human heart. Giles did not wish for Louis, who had always been true to his honest kindness and selfless devotion to others as an ally and friend, to perceive him as yet another person who was coercing him to do something against his own will, to view Giles as a reflection of a past that he never wished to relive.
It is unlike either of us to have our personal feelings seep into our work.
As irony filled his heart, Giles chuckled, the sound as quiet as it was earnest.
It would not be wrong to say that the both of us have changed, would it, Louis?