Elijah's POV:
I was currently in a session at my school. I was playing the drums and piano for this girl's song for her class project. We been working together for a while, so everything has been pretty much running pretty smooth. It's a longer process than I imagined, for this project as well.
It's why I said it was pretty much running smooth and not completely. There was always another tweak she wanted in the instrumental; every time, I think I got the perfect take. Pass that it was a smooth process. Plus she is cool peoples, I understand she just being a perfectionist too. Which is completely understandable as an artist.
Just this was like the 7th time we met up for this. It was just becoming tedious at this point. I guess the good part is, I would be getting extra credit for all my classes for doing this. Thankfully, because I probably would've told home girl I'm good by the second or third session.
"Hey, yo Shyana how's that sounding today?" I questioned walking out of the booth.
"I think pretty good this time, I have absolutely no complaints." She said smiling as she was nodding her head.
"What you think Brayan?" I asked our engineer, who was also Shyana's twin brother.
"I think it's fire to be honest, but I'm going to run to the bathroom. So, when I come back we can listen to the rough draft of the mix." He said before he got up from the console and walked out the room.
"I'm gonna need you on some of my personal projects, for sure." Shyana said as she sat down and looked directly at me.
"Yeah, for sure. Most definitely we got to work outside of this." I would most definitely work with her she was a great vocalist and songwriter. So, it was highly in my interest, since I was taking some songwriting courses too.
"So, what's your rate?" She questioned crossing her leg over the other.
"We can talk about that around when the day comes." It was what I was going with now, since to be honest I didn't really have a set rate. But shoot she didn't need to know that.
"Okay, cool. In a few weeks I'm going to be recording at this studio nearby that my brother interns at. You should come through and we could just vibe." She said as she got from her seat and walked towards me.
"Hell yeah, I'm for that. Just text me a few days early the day and time."
"Okay, so random question. Zamya's your girlfriend, I see ya'll around the school a lot and outside a lot?" She questioned with a smirk on her face.
"Nah, she my people's. We just friends and we pretty much together all the time because we're next door neighbors. We live across from one another. Why you ask?" Although, I wish Zamya and I were more then friends. I respected her boundaries, so I was going to be honest about it. Plus it was a common misconception around this college. Everyone thought we were dating. Although 9/10, Keyana and Rayona was usually around as well. So I don't know how they just pinned pointed us together and they were almost, always around too.
Shoot, maybe they could tell that I liked her. Maybe, they could sense it in our vibe together or the way I looked at her. I knew I be looking at her in someway because of Rayona and Keyana calling me out on it. Me staring her was unintentional, so I don't want to seem like a creep saying this.
"Okay, okay." She said stepping a little closer to me.
"Yeah, so where's your brother at he's been gone for a minute?" I questioned getting kind of anxious. I told Zamya to meet here after her last class and it's getting close to that time. Plus, I was tired, I just wanted to go home at this point. We been here for like 2 hours in this session. A 2 hour session wasn't long but I've been at this school since 7 in the morning. Now it was going on 7 at night.
"I don't know, he probably got a phone call." She shrugged getting closer.
"So, you single then?" She questioned with one eyebrow raised.
"Yeah, currently I am." I laughed out.
"Okay."She said nodding her head and getting closer to me. Causing me step back a little from her. She was a beautiful girl no doubt about it, but that just wasn't on my mind. Was I crazy for turning her down? Was I being faithful to something that probably would never happen?
"Why you backing up?" She questioned as a smirk made its way on her face.
"I don't know." I could hear my heart beating faster, as if I was nervous. I don't know if I was never or something else.
"Mmhm, okay." She said getting closer again. Now, I was backed in a corner by the booth's door.
"So, where's yours brother, maybe...."She cut me off kissing me. Somehow, I was surprised it happened even though I knew it was coming.
As she kissed me I didn't pull away. I just stared out the window and that's when I noticed Zamya looking in trying to find us. She had a look of shock on her face. Before her face sadden and she walked away.
At this moment I didn't know what to do. Was I suppose to chase after her and say it's not what it looks like. As if I was cheating on her? As much as I wanted to go after her I didn't know what to say if I did end up chasing after her. At most she probably would act like she didn't see anything.
"Woah," I laughed off nervously, as I pushed Shyana away finally.
"You like?" She smiled. Honestly, I couldn't even tell if I liked it or not because my mind was elsewhere.
"Look you're a beautiful girl and all Shyana, but I barely know you like that for you to just be kissing me. I'm not mad at you or anything, just a fast move. I would've rather we got to know each other better first."I honestly didn't have any interest in Shyana like that but, I wanted to let her down easy.
"I understand, I'm sorry for just coming onto you like that. I'm not sure what came over me, but I like you. So I saw a chance and I thought you would want it too. Seemed like you were flirting with me. Guess in reality you were just being nice and down to Earth; but I took it as more." She said sincerely as her cheeks turned red in embarrassment.
"Don't report me or nothing." She laughed, trying to clear the air.
"No, nothing like that. Yeah, its just my tone too as well. It be happening without even thinking about it." I chuckled.
"You still want to work together?" She questioned forcing a smile on her.
"Yeah, no doubt."
"Aye, sorry I took so long was talking to Mr. Ryanson about something. Bumped into him after I came out the bathroom."
"It's fine man."
**
"Hey, Rayona your cousin home? She had left school without me and she wouldn't pick up my calls." I asked her as she opened up her front door and I walked in.
"Naw, she text me like an hour ago and said she was going over Keyana's place to work on something. I told her I would meet up with her later, because a girl needed to rest for a few minutes." She said as she closed the door behind me.
"That's weird because I was suppose to take her home. Plus she was planning to listen to this song I played on." When I said that she just narrowed her eyes at me.
"What you do?" She questioned putting her hands over her chest and crossing them.
"I wouldn't say I did anything but she saw Shyana, kissing me in the studio and she just walked off." I said frowning up my face.
"You kissed Shyana?" She screeched, hitting my arm.
"Ouch! No, she kissed me by basically backing
me into a corner. She kissed me by surprised and when I looked up I saw Zamya looking at us." I said rubbing my arm.
"I knew that girl liked you way more than she be saying." She said rolling her eyes; referring to Zamya.
"I knew it." I mumbled.
"Obviously, this why I don't know why she playing hard to get. I will admit don't bring it up to her just let her say how she feels on her own time. Because all she's going to do is try her best to deny it didn't bother her." She said in a matter fact tone.
"Understandable, I figured the same. What's you think is holding her back with her feelings?" At this point I was curious to know. Or maybe it was the fact that situation just made her realize she's been lying to even herself. I wasn't sure to be honest.
"For starters she never had a boyfriend before, so you know that. Two, this whole thing where she wants to know someone for a year at least before dating them. She thinks if you start off in a relationship then you hide things. My cousin watched too many Lifetime movies. There's a list of various things why she is the way she is. Another thing is just how sheltered she was. So much is new to her and still is as well." She said taking a seat on the couch.
"So, basically she's having mixed emotions and don't know which side of the ways she feeling the need to lean more towards?" I feel like I was interpreting that the right way. By what Rayona was saying, that had to be it.
"Pretty much, she never really had this chance of feelings as an adult. Sure she had crushes in high school, but Zamya also doesn't want to date just to date as well. Her goal is to date to marry, so you know thinking about it her behavior makes sense, now." She was right it did, sure she liked me. But she wasn't in a place where she was sure or not if she wanted more than to date me one day. Which I completely understood and I respect that.
"So, I get it when she's ready she'll be ready." I had so much going on in my life as well so I understood. I also knew I was quick to set everything aside for her. For the most part I wouldn't let anyone else that wasn't important to her or me get in the way of that. Zamya is of importance to me. So, I couldn't deny that at all.
Shoot, we been knowing each other for like almost 7 months now. So, I could patiently wait for another 5-6 months.
"Pretty much all you can do." She said shrugging.
"Okay, okay. Any who, what's ya'll got planned for her birthday?" I had something up my sleeve that I wanted to help her with.
"Shoot, I don't know. Shoot my auntie and uncle probably come out here to see her and do something. You got any ideas?"
"Maybe, but I want to do something that shows I'm serious about her. You know so she won't have mixed emotions towards my intentions. I'm not trying to buy her love or anything, just show her you know ain't no worry with me." I was being honest with this. I truly was, I just wanted to showcase my intentions were good towards her. I mean to be honest it's probably my fault too, because I never actually verbally told her how I felt. I mostly just hinted around. I always felt like every time was a bad time to bring it up. So that's another reason why she probably had mixed emotions.
It's almost like I held myself back, because I didn't want to mess up either. I didn't want to pour out none of my feelings in a bad way. You know where things would be awkward between us.
"I mean you've told her how you felt before to her face haven't you. You don't need to do all that." She laughed.
"Actually, I just went with you telling me you told her I like her. I never actually found the perfect time to tell her. We never been alone long enough or if we were my mind was elsewhere. I just never had the perfect chance I feel or the courage to do so. I'll be honest with myself on that. Usually, I'm never that way with a girl. But with her I fear the rejection." That's my first time really saying all this out loud.
"Oh, oh wow. I was sure you did. Can't believe you only confined in me with the way you feel and Keyana I know. Well, whatever you got planned I'll help you on. Come on cousin in law." She laughed.
"Alright, cool. Thank you Rayona, because I'm going to need your advice on everything."
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Chapter 6: Of The Degree of Mixed Emotions
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