Cassiopeia Nott
Two days into avoiding Harry and I fear I have already failed.
Mostly because he is walking towards my charms desk right now, not looking very pleased.
I hurried to collect my things and flee the classroom before he had the chance to sit down. All my friends had already left and students were filing out of the room like it was on fire. I shoved my last book in my bag and quickly got up, but alas, I didn't quite make it.
I ran right into Harry, sending my bag to the floor. I almost fell with it before Harry grabbed my arms to steady me. "Hi, Cass." He greeted.
I couldn't exactly tell the emotions behind his words. Angry, sad, confused, I don't know. Maybe a mix? "Hi, Harry."
"How are you?" He asked as he bent down to gather my bag. This is too casual. We have not once has a casual conversation in our time together. How does he already bloody know?
He stood back up and handed me my bag. As much as I wanted to push past him and run for the hills, I stood in place. "Fine."
"You are terrible at this."
"At what?"
"Well, I assume you're trying to get out of a conversation with me considering you are shrinking into yourself the way I do when Mcgonagall wants to talk about my classes."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"Am not."
"Are so."
I straightened my posture, letting our a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding in. I crossed my arms to my chest. "I'm not. I've just had a hard day."
His expectant expression dropped into a genuine concern. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"Yes, actually." You could pull me into a long hug and make everything and everyone just leave us alone forever. But I only said that in my head. "You could move. You're blocking the door."
I turned to go around him but he stepped in front of me. "I really don't mean to worsen your day, but I have a sneaking suspicion you're avoiding me because we talk everyday and you haven't so much as glanced in my direction in two."
I stayed quiet.
"And I don't think you want to." He continued carefully. How does he know me so well already? This, this entire interaction that leads me to believe he cares about me when he may have nothing more than a silly crush is the reason I'm avoiding him. I can't help but think back to how he seemed worried when I said I had a hard day. Would he really say anything if he didn't care?
I'm just so confused. So confused about how I feel for him. So confused about how he feels for me. So confused about what I want him to feel for me. So confused about how my friends and family want me to feel for him. Just confused.
"Cass?" A kind of sadness lacing his tone.
"Yes?"
"Are-" He started before I cut him off, unable to bear another minute of looking at the slight hurt in his eyes. "I really should go. Lots to do."
And without another word, I pushed past him to exit the classroom and hurried to get lost in the crowd.
~
Am I a terrible person?
No, seriously.
I mean, I have to be considering I could see the hurt in Harry's eyes and still walked away from him with no further explanation. I regret it now, but will I in a few months when this thing between us is over? Thats what I want, right?
No, but it's whats best.
I was pulled from my thoughts by Athena nudging my arm. I turned to see she had a glass of clear liquid in her hand and she was offering it to me. She, Theo, and I are currently sitting on the edge of the astronomy tower looking out at the sunset.
I took the glass and downed it. The sharp tangy drink flooded down my throat. I couldn't help but scrunch my nose at the poor taste. Athena laughed at my reaction. "It's Blaise's recipe," She explained. "Which means it tastes like ass but gets you drunk fast."
"And is that rhyme his as well?"
"Naturally." Theo answered from beside me.
"Speak of the devil." Athena started with a forced laugh. "Blaise has been all over you for weeks and yet you still try to steal my dear Ginevra from me?" She put a hand on Theo's shoulder. "Come on, Theo. Give her up."
"Blaise is lovely but-wait." He turned to her with wild eyes. "How'd you know her real name was Ginevra?"
"Because I hung out with her yesterday." Athena's lips curved into a prideful grin. "Have you been able to get her alone, Theo?"
"No and I hate you."
She hummed in response before pouring another shot of Blaise's retched mixture. The door to the astronomy tower was pushed open to reveal an exhausted looking Draco. Wordlessly, he sat down beside us and took the drink from Athena's hand. She opened her mouth to protest before he cut her off. "I need this more than you do right now."
"Why? What's wrong?" I asked.
He and Theo exchanged glances. Something is up with those two. They've been acting weird lately. Sort of suspicious. Suspicious of what? I'm not sure, but I'll find out sooner or later.
"Hey, hey, hey." Theo said after a moment. "This is no time for feelings." He poured himself another shot of the mixture. Judging by his scent, he has had more than a few shots already. "This is a time for forgetting feelings." He slurred.
I do have a lot of feelings I'd like to forget. I took the mixture from him to pour myself some. "Enough said. I'm in."
"Why?" Athena asked. "You haven't talked to me about any feelings lately."
I feel as if I'm working against myself sometimes. Thats the only reasonable explanation for why I say the things I do and put myself in situations where I have to lie to my friends. "Oh, just qudditch stress." I lied.
"Gross." She took my face in her hands and examined over it. "Be careful. You don't want to get stress lines on your pretty face from something as ridiculous as qudditch." She dropped her hands. "You look good for now."
"Thank you, Doctor Lestrange."
"Of course." She downed her drink before asking, "So, what's everyone been up to today?"
"I helped Astoria study." Draco answered, a small smile forming on his lips as he thought back to their time. Athena and I both oooed. This is good. Draco and Astoria would be good together and Astoria basically deserves it after pining over him for the last four years.
Theo didn't seem as happy as Athena and I. In fact, he looked mad. He slammed his drink down and clumsily stood up. "Damn you, Malfoy!"
He threw a weak punch at Draco who dodged it. "What!?" Draco exclaimed as he got up to back away from my drunk brother. "What did I do?!"
Theo charged at him again, but not before Athena could grab his arm. Theo let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a yell. He dropped to his knees a looked up to the sky. "I hate men!"
"Theo, what in god's name is the matter with you?" I asked. He looked to me and laughed before once again, turning to Draco. He raised his arm to point it at him. "You, Draco, are a somewhat good man."
Draco looked just as confused as I. "Thank you?" He responded, it coming out more like a question than a statement.
"And somewhat good men are better that normal men." Theo turned back to me. "Cassie, do you know why men are terrible, terrible creatures?"
"I'd answer but I have a feeling you're going to tell me anyways."
"They are terrible because they cheat and they lie and they are undeserving of you. Do you know what will happen if you and dragon boy continue to grow apart? You will date another man, and he will be not good. Somewhat good man Draco will get with Astoria and I will have to watch my sister be degraded and tossed around because men are not good." He sighed, finishing his drunken monologue "Am I making any sense."
"No." We all answered at the same time.
"Fine!" He exclaimed as he raised his arms in some kind of defense. "Draco and Cassie good. Draco and other women bad. Cassie and other man bad." He dropped his head into Athena's lap to look up at her. "Hi, Athena." He cooed.
"Hi, Theo." She said with a light smile. "Do you need to go to bed?"
"Do not talk down to me. I can handle my liquor."
"Can you?" Draco asked as he sat back down to look at the mess that is my twin.
I brushed off my lap and stood up. "I'll take him back to the dorms."
"Cassie! Do not touch me!" Theo protested. He threw his arms up in the air to fight off some invisible monster. Athena tried to grab his arms but he only ended up flailing them around even more
Draco beckoned for me to come closer to him. "Maybe you should get the wagon." He whispered so that Theo couldn't hear. In he and Theo's dorm, they have a wagon just big enough to haul drunk Theo around. It sounds stupid, but it's proven to be quite useful.
I nodded in agreement. He carefully slipped me the key, so that Theo couldn't see, and I slipped out the door. The sun had finished sinking behind the mountains, leaving only the moonlight to light the darkening corridors.
I let my hand drag along the wall as I walked down the stairs, through the hall, pass the kitchens, and through another hall. I didn't pass a soul on my walk down. Everyone's been turning in for the night earlier than they used to due to the looming threat of you-know-who. Despite there being no way he could get into the castle, everyone takes extra precaution.
The shuffling of footsteps drew my attention towards the end of the hall. The footsteps stopped when I turned to see who it was, there was no one there. Weird.
I turned back to continue down the hall, and the footsteps picked up again. I quickened my pace to get away from whatever was coming up closer behind me. An arm reached out from behind to grab mine. I whirled around and slapped the figure right in the face.
I assume my aim was correct because I felt a rough fabric and the outline of someone's jaw. A cloak dropped to the ground to reveal Harry, who was now rubbing the spot I had slapped him.
My hands flew straight to my mouth when I had realized what I did. "Oh my god. I'm so so sorry. Are you alright?" I removed my hand from my mouth to cup the side of his face and examine over the growing red mark.
"Oh, yeah, brilliant. If you didn't know, I just got slapped in the face." He responded sourly.
I dropped my hand. "Well, I wouldn't have done that had you not been sneaking up on me." A pause. "Why, exactly, are you sneaking up on me? And what is that?" I nodded my head to the now visible blanket on the floor.
"Invisibility cloak. My dad gave it to me."
"Right." I nodded, though I was still confused. "And why are you using it to sneak up on me?"
"Well, considering how you ran for the hills this morning, I assumed it was the only way to get you to stay in a conversation with me for more than two sentences." I opened my mouth to respond before he raised a finger to quiet me. "And before you can object, I now know you're avoiding me and I would really like to know why." I opened my mouth again to tell him to shove off before he continued on. "And you can avoid me. That's fine. But I at least have a right to know why."
"Can I talk now or are you going to cut me off again?"
"You can talk."
I crossed my arms. "I am not avoiding you."
"Then what are you doing?"
I bit my lip, trying to think of something to say. Of course I'm avoiding him. Why does he need a verbal confirmation of it? And why does he need to know why? I would want to know why. I guess he deserves some type of explanation.
And then I couldn't tell if it was the small amount of alcohol in my system or the begging look in his eyes, but I finally opened up, saying much more than I probably should have. "Fine, I'm avoiding you because I think I've begun to fall for you in a way I promised myself I would never fall for you and now I'm scared my feelings won't be returned in the way I want them to be and that just by saying this all I'm making a huge fool of myself." I exclaimed all in one breath.
Harry stared at me for a moment before he let out a short laugh. "You're scared that your feelings won't be returned?" He repeated before running a hand through his hair and laughing again. "Cass, in the short time I've known you you've taken over my entire head. I can't go a second without thinking of you and every moment I'm not with you has become torture." He smiled. "How can you not understand that I'd walk the entire earth a million times over with a smile if it would make you happy?"
I was stunned into silence by his words. God, how have I been so blind? Too busy worrying about if he felt the same when this whole time, he's been trying to show me that he does. I feel like an idiot for wasting so much time and from this point on, I'm not going to waste another second.
I threw my arms around his neck to place a long kiss on his lips. He placed a hand on the small of my back and another on the back of my neck to pull me in closer. If we were in a movie, there would be music playing and fireworks blowing up in the sky.
When we finally tore apart, he had the widest grin on his face. "So, do I have to continue to worry about breaking rule number 7?"
I laughed. Only he could crack a joke after pouring his heart out despite the fear of rejection. "No, you don't have to worry about breaking rule number 7 anymore."
"And do I get to have the honor of being able to call you mine?"
"Yes." My smile faded a bit as I realized the reality of the situation we are still in. "But Harry, it still has to be a secret. If Theo finds out-"
"He won't. I promise." A promise he may not be able to keep.
"And you're ok with keeping it a secret?" I don't want to force him to have to lie to his friends. I know he loves them like family.
"For you? Yes, did you not get the part where I said I'd do anything for you?"
"No. I think you should remind me." I grinned. He matched my expression before pulling me in for another long kiss that sent butterflies flurrying through my stomach. We've kissed before, obviously, but these ones were different. These ones meant so much more than the others. The ones are the kind you replay in your head over and over and never get tired of.
When we pulled away, he was still smiling down at me. I pretended to think for a moment before nodding. "Oh, yeah. I think I got that part now."
"Good. You promise you're not going to back out on me?"
"I promise. Now," I pulled out of his arms. "I have to go get a wagon for my brother."
"What?"
I waved it off. "He's drunk. This is a weekly thing."
I turned to leave before Harry grabbed my hand and spun me back around to place a final kiss on my lips. I couldn't help but smile when we broke apart. "Sorry. Just couldn't let you leave without that. I've been waiting a whole month for this, you know?"
"I know now. Goodnight, Harry."
"Goodnight, Cass."
And then I did turn to leave. I looked back to see Harry had picked up the invisibility cloak and disappeared again. I'll have to ask him more about that later.
I practically skipped the rest of the way to the common room. I made a detour to the girls dorms to grab some muggle pills that would help Theo's hangover in the morning. As I walked down the damp dungeon hall, I couldn't wipe the smile off my face for even a second. Not after what just happened. Not while I can still feel Harry's hand on my back and his lips on mine. I feel invincible. Like nothing in the world could bring me down.
Except maybe one thing.
I opened the door to my dorm to see Astoria.
Standing over my night stand,
Harry and I's list of rules in her hand.
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(2990 Words - Published March 22, 2021)
Sorry posting is so slow lol. I was putting off this part because I wasn't sure how to write the avoiding part of it.
Also, STOP SPOILING HER IN THE COMMENTS.
Some people reading Addictive haven't read Her and are planning on it so when you spoil in the comments, it's giving away the plot. Please don't. Someone DM'd me about it earlier today. I can't go through every comment. Please, please stop.