Ailbhe tried her best to get some work done but it wasn't likely, not after the day she had. She had been alone for the day in the office, glad of the peace and quiet at first but after a while it just led to her mind starting to wander, starting to spin and unravel as she couldn't get all of the thoughts to form a coherent thread or make sense. It was a scramble of Michael and Gina and their plotting, to the plan to kill Mosley and McCavern, the return of Maggie Brennan into her life and then just as swiftly, the exit. She was exhausted by the time she saw daylight fading through the windows and not because she had exerted herself in the slightest. It felt like days ago since she got out of bed that morning, so much had happened.
She gave up, knowing that she wasn't getting anything substantial done anymore, leaving the office to get some air and knowing where she wanted to go. Artillery Square was quiet, warm light spilling from the windows and the quiet murmur of households around her felt quite foreign to Ailbhe. She wasn't used to a quiet or calm home. She missed the flat, it had been a kind of haven for her and Finn. Somewhere quiet and somewhere that was just their's. But someone else needed it more now.
Knocking on the door, Ailbhe waited a moment, not sure why tonight would be any different but the door pulled open much to her surprise.
It was Isiah, his peaky hat in hand and pulling his coat on as if he was just leaving.
"Jade, you've got someone to see you" He called over his shoulder, knowing Jade had been isolating herself away for weeks but that she missed her friend. And so, he winked at Ailbhe and didn't give Jade a chance to say no.
He stepped past Ailbhe, heading back to the yard to let Liam go home to get some dinner before watching Barney for the night. With Charlie having an injured leg he couldn't be relied on to chase after Barney if they had another incident like this morning. Liam had told Curly to go to bed, not to stay up looking after Barney. He knew that Curly was easily scared in the dark so Liam took his shift.
Ailbhe was strangely nervous to see her best friend. The last time she'd seen her was Bonnie's funeral and before that was the night, she and Aberama Gold had come to Tommy's house, Johnny Dogs in their possession. She had been a very different woman that night, the usual cool and calm Jade was gone, replaced by a woman whose very heart had been ripped out and broken.
Ailbhe sighed in relief when she saw her. She looked well. Jade had always been beautiful and although she had no makeup on, she looked pretty as always.
"Jade!" Ailbhe sighed, glad when she saw her friend approaching her and almost even smiling like she used to.
She felt her eyes mist up when Jade wrapped her arms around her friend and held on tightly. Her perfume still smelt the same and made Ailbhe smile.
"Ailbhe, it's so good to see you" She sighed, squeezing her friend tightly when Ailbhe felt something against her abdomen.
"Oh, sorry" Jade apologised, a smile on her lips as she stood back from Ailbhe and looking down at her stomach.
There was definitely a baby in there. Ailbhe realised that had been the feeling against her own stomach. The baby was kicking.
"He gets a bit energetic after I've eaten" She explained, running her hand down over the swell covered by her dress with a look of utter love on her face.
Ailbhe felt a swell in her chest, of love and pride and a mix of other emotions too. Jade was having a baby. It seemed crazy. Ailbhe had known for months now but it was still bizarre to see Jade, cradling a baby bump.
"Wow" Ailbhe gasped, reaching a hand out cautiously but Jade nodded and smiled. She was so pretty when she smiled. Ailbhe had worried Jade's smiling days were behind her. But she'd get there. Her little baby was enough reason to smile sometimes.
With her hand on Jade's tummy, guided a little to the left that was when Ailbhe felt it. A little kick, then another.
"That's incredible, Jade" Ailbhe acknowledged, feeling the repetitive and rhythmic kicks.
"He's fast on his feet anyway, just like his father" Jade replied, a sad smile on her lips and her eyes misty for a moment, but only a moment as she stopped it right away.
"How are you?" Ailbhe asked, led over to the armchairs by the fire where she sat down beside Jade who needed a bit of help but managed it.
Jade took a minute, looking into the flames and shrugging.
"I'm okay... I'm... good days and bad days, Alv..." She replied, nodding her head and glad of it when Ailbhe reached out and gripped her hand.
"I miss him so much sometimes it... it aches" She whispered, holding her hand over her chest and looking as though she was going to cry but her hand slid down, over her bump and resting there.
"But I have him" she looked down at her belly and back up at Ailbhe "And I know he loved me, loved us... I'm okay" She whispered, convincing herself that if she said it enough times, maybe eventually she'd start to believe it.
"I'm so sorry I never answered the door to you, Alv... I just... I just couldn't face anyone" She apologised, squeezing Ailbhe's hand but Ailbhe shook her head, shushing her.
Ailbhe didn't take it personally. She only worried for Jade and for Bonnie's baby. She knew that seeing something like that, experiencing something like that did something inexplicable to you. And you had to get through it whatever way you could.
"Aberama told me about your dream..." She told her, her hand running absent-mindedly over her swelling bump.
Aberama had taken Jade in, accepted her as his daughter and whether Bonnie was still alive was irrelevant to how much Aberama cared for her. Bonnie had loved Jade with every beat of his heart and Aberama had made her his daughter. He was a man of his word and a man who valued family so even before he heard that Jade was pregnant, that his son would have a son, he had been visiting her, sending her some money or even some of Bonnie's things when he found things she might like. It meant the world to her.
Ailbhe looked up at Jade's golden eyes and saw the excitement.
"About the four magpies..." Ailbhe smiled back, remembering the dream that she had in the days after Bonnie's murder.
"It's a boy" Jade whispered, so comforted that she even smiled properly.
Like Bonnie had sent her a little boy to look after her, to remind her of him and be there while he couldn't. Bonnie was a man of honour, of his word and even dead he was looking out for her. Even if something so small, it was comfort enough for Jade when comfort and light were in such short supply.
"How are you?" She asked, wanting to talk about something else for once.
She was so bored of Isiah's usual conversation which almost always included a dozen questions about how she felt, what she felt like and whether she was eating or sleeping.
"Tired" Ailbhe admitted, smiling slightly as she shrugged. It had been a long few weeks and an even longer day somehow.
Jade could see it in her friend's eyes, in her slumped shoulders and pale skin. She was exhausted. And she needed rest. She told Ailbhe to go home and get some proper rest, that she could call again some other night and she promised to open the door this time.
Ailbhe found herself at the betting shop door on Watery Lane, not wanting to go into her own bed alone. She just wanted to see Finn, remind herself that there were good parts of their life. She couldn't get Mickey out of her head, the blood and the crying, Michael's threats and tempting about New York, Barney and the plan that seemed more and more doomed every time she thought of it. Her head felt practically heavy at the thought of it all.
She let herself in through the betting shop door and had hoped to go straight up to bed where she hoped to find Finn but the lights were still on in the office so she headed towards the door marked with Finn's name.
It used to be John's office, marked with gold lettering. But Finn had taken off John's name and mounted it on the wall inside under a photo of his brother. Having the name on the door felt too much pressure whereas John watching over him felt a little better. Ailbhe found it a little creepy sometimes, especially when Finn was lifting her up onto the desk and she felt like John was practically watching.
Ailbhe had scolded John and Esme countless times for having sex in the offices but Ailbhe was guilty of it herself now more times than she could count.
Finn was sitting at the desk, his head down. Pen in one hand, cigarette in the other. He looked deep in thought and conflicted, his frown looking like a permanent fixture. But Ailbhe knew it wasn't.
He looked up when he saw movement at the door and was glad to see her. He had been thinking about her as always and was relieved to see she looked okay. Mickey had been shot dead in front of her and she stood before him just looking tired and yet utterly perfect.
She didn't wait for an invitation, closing the distance between him and taking the hand he stretched out to her and pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her. The deep exhale and how she nestled in against him made Finn feel his heart swelling in his chest.
"You alright?" He checked, knowing how rare it was for Ailbhe to be so quiet and dejected. She just looked utterly exhausted.
She nodded against him, her face nestled in the crook of the neck inhaling the smell of smoke and whiskey and cologne that made up Finn's scent.
He rubbed his hand up and down her back, feeling her start to loosen up. He could practically see the cogs turning in her head when she came in first. Her head seemed to be at capacity and Finn knew that he could help her the way she helped him every day without even realising it. If that was what they did for each other, that would be enough every day.
"Michael wants us to go with him, Alv" Finn broke the silence, feeling her tense in his arms at his words.
"He's drawing the lines... making sure we all pick sides" She stated, seeing what Michael was doing today.
He was getting ready, pushing divides between the family and wanting a split, wanting people on his side when they started to fight. But that was Michael's real plan, to not have a fight at all. He wanted Tommy to be left aside, to be told by the others that it was better with Michael in charge, that it was time for Tommy to retire and give up, to let someone else take over. Michael knew if it came down to a real fight, he didn't stand a chance.
Michael wanted Polly, and therefore Aberama. He wanted Finn since he thought Finn could be easy to sway since he was sick of being treated like a kid. Finn wouldn't go anywhere without Ailbhe and if Finn got Ailbhe to turn on Tommy then maybe Liam and Niall would start switching sides too. If Liam's wish got granted and Ada became his wife, that would only leave Arthur and Tommy offside. Arthur was weak-minded in Michael's eyes and if he saw Niall changing sides, Ailbhe changing sides, Polly and Finn and Ailbhe standing against him, he might start to doubt.
If Michael could get everyone to think that it was in Tommy's best interest, then slowly but surely, he could knock the house of cards of trust that Thomas Shelby had built.
"If it comes down to it, Polly is going to have to choose, Finn" Ailbhe whispered back, not wanting to think about it but she couldn't stop it.
If Polly chose to side with Michael if she actively went against their family would Tommy have to be on opposite sides to her? Would Tommy kill Michael? Would he kill Aberama? Would he kill Finn if he chose to take Michael's side? Ailbhe knew that Tommy could never look Finn in the eyes and kill him but was he beyond ordering a hit on his brother?
Finn knew that Ailbhe wouldn't either. Tommy represented something to Ailbhe, something Finn would never understand nor would he ever understand their bond. How Tommy could practically read her mind or how Ailbhe seemed to be someone he couldn't bear losing.
"Hey" He whispered, nudging her and bringing her face to his so they were looking each other in the eyes.
"Fuck everyone else, it's just me and you" He whispered, quoting her from dozens of times through their lives together.
She smiled tiredly. If only it could be just them.
"You proposing to me again, Finn boy?" She whispered back, the hint of a spark in her eyes as she started to relax.
"Shut up" He laughed quietly before pressing his lips to hers, softly and slowly.
He pulled back for a second, looking back at her tired eyes and feeling himself sigh, all the tension and angst gathered from the day seemed to be melting from the way she stroked the back of his neck and the weight of her across him.
"Would now be a good time to tell you that I really fucking love you?" He asked her, glad to see a shadow of a smile crossing her lips.
"Yes," she replied, the hint of a smile on her lip as she tightened her arms around him.
The sound of a slamming door and footsteps made the pair break apart. Looking towards the door, Finn grabbed his gun as Ailbhe jumped off his lap and got pushed back behind him in a protective manner that was both sweet and yet unnecessary since Ailbhe had pulled her gun from her purse too.
But it was Polly who practically stumbled in the doorway, seeing Ailbhe and Finn standing across from her with guns raised.
"Oh look" She practically slurred, her eyelids heavy and Ailbhe could smell the whiskey from where she stood "It's love's young dream Finn and Ailbhe"
Ailbhe wasn't sure what to make of it. She'd seen Polly drunk many times, she'd been drunk with Polly even more times but Polly never got like this when she drank. She seemed so dark and thoughtful, dark clouds over her head.
"Pol, are you alright?" Ailbhe asked, dropping her gun onto the table beside Finn's and stepping towards her, seeing how she swayed on her feet.
Polly scoffed, laughing dryly as if it was the most ridiculous question she'd ever heard. Of course, it was one of them. How could she possibly be alright while her family drew lines in the sand against each other and in their line of work betrayal meant exile or a bullet in the head. Michael had already been sent into exile once before, would Tommy be so kind as to grant them this mercy a second time?
"Have you seen it, Ailbhe?" Polly asked her, dark eyes staring at her.
"Seen what?" She asked, not sure she wanted to know the answer.
Polly smiled coldly, seeming almost twisted in that moment. That was the Polly Gray that everyone said was a witch, said was dangerous.
"One magpie. A black cat. Two graves and only one coffin" She whispered, holding up one finger and it swaying in front of her.
A traitor. A death. A sorrow. Something bad, a dark omen. But dreams weren't always right, they couldn't always be right.
"Polly, you need to lie down" Finn piped up, going to his aunt's side and trying to take the bottle from her hand.
Gift or no gift, anyone who had drank as much as her in one sitting would start to think they were hearing voices and see things.
"You're a good boy, Finn" She sighed, tapping his cheek with an open palm "John was a good boy... so were you once."
Polly looked away from him, to the picture on the wall and her eyes lose their anger, leaking sadness from the corners catching on her dark mascara.
"And now John's dead and you're blackening your hands every day"
The words hung in the air around them. Ailbhe wasn't sure what to make of them. Polly was drunk but sometimes people made a lot of sense when they were drunk.
Just as Finn got the bottle out of Polly's hand and started to guide her away from the office door, the door slammed again but Ailbhe just knew it was Tommy from the sound of his footsteps.
He came around the door of the office, knowing they'd be in Finn's office from the lights and Ailbhe's presence. When he saw them, he froze. He pulled off his gloves, taking the seat around the table near them. It seemed like any other meeting they'd had and yet darker as if more depended on this than anything else.
"Arthur wanted to know whose side I was on" Polly exclaimed to Tommy, sitting down in the seat opposite him.
"There will be a war and one of you will die. But which one I cannot tell" She stated, her eyes focusing on Tommy who she had raised since just a boy, who now seemed to be sitting oceans away from her.
Ailbhe's heart beat faster in her chest. If Polly had seen this, had seen that one of them would die then she was most likely right. But she had not said that one would kill the other.
Tommy just nodded, knowing that wasn't the first time Polly had visions of his death and with any luck it wouldn't be the last. He lived a mortal existence in spite of it all and one day, he knew that he would come across the man he could not defeat and be killed.
"He's gonna do it anyway" Tommy shrugged, knowing that Michael didn't have anything in his heart stopping him except for Polly.
Polly just nodded; she knew it too. She had seen it, the look in Michael's eyes all those years ago that marked a moment where Henry Johnson died, and Michael Gray became someone new. Someone they'd all wish they hadn't created. Like a monster of his own making, Tommy blamed himself.
"You should know that if anyone takes his side, Aberama included I will kill him" Tommy said, so flatly that it didn't even sound emotive.
Tommy looked up at Ailbhe and Finn, his eyes catching on theirs for a moment as if to say that the same promise extended to them.
"What about me?" Polly asked, trying to see some hint of Tommy still left but he had pulled on his mask and hid away behind that blank and cold stare he usually kept for enemies.
"I'll do what I have to do, Pol" Tommy warned her but Ailbhe couldn't imagine that Tommy would ever be able to kill Polly, even exile her.
He couldn't. Not after everything. Polly surely could never turn her back on them. Polly had raised them. She had been the one praying for them every night while they were in France. She had been the one who fed them and clothed them. She had been the one who sat up all night when Finn had smallpox. She had been more a mother to them than anyone else.
Polly stood up, more steady on her feet now as she gripped an envelope in her hands.
"Soon, you will have a stage to stand on, millions of people will listen to you and you will run the country like you run this family..."
She sighed, slow and drawling on her words, the bottle back in her hands.
She put the bottle down on the table, turning towards Finn and Ailbhe. She patted Finn's cheek lightly again but turned to Ailbhe and took her chin between her thumb and forefinger, her dark eyes unsettling Ailbhe despite having spent her whole life comforting and nurturing that girl.
"He put a noose around your neck and shackles on your hands five years ago... and you never took them off, sweetheart."
Polly sighed, as if not even saying it to Ailbhe but to herself as she looked at the girl with nothing but pity. Letting go, she stepped away and back towards Tommy.
At Polly's words Ailbhe's felt a tightness in her throat. Polly had never looked at her like that. Did she really think that Tommy would be the ruin of her? Had Polly seen something that Ailbhe hadn't, something about Ailbhe's fate? Maybe Michael was right? Maybe she was losing her mind enough to reach for a rope like her mother had, hoping it would pull her up to heaven.
Finn watched her, her eyes still and unblinking as she looked ahead at nothing in particular. She frightened her brothers when she looked like this and for the first time ever, Finn felt it too. Sometimes they looked at her and found it hard to recognise her.
"Hey" Finn whispered, reaching out to put his hand on her back, to hold her hand, to try get her to look at him, anything.
Once his hand touched her back, she was sure he felt the anxiety that practically had taken shape around her, morphing into a cloud and thick fog above her.
Looking at her and directing his eyes pointedly at the door, Ailbhe nodded. They left Polly and Tommy, hoping they could figure things out and leave the fight for another day. They weren't sure what would become of Tommy without Polly. It was like wondering what would come of Ailbhe without Finn but they had no intention of finding out.
Finn took Ailbhe's hand as he unlocked the door into the old Shelby house, having no intention of letting her go back home tonight no matter what their brothers said. It was likely that Liam was sitting down in Charlie's yard watching Barney and Niall was in his flat above one of his pubs.
She stood by the window, almost unnerving him with her deep thinking and furrowed brow.
Pulling off his jacket and shirt, he slid the braces off his shoulders and grabbed a drink, making her one too.
"Would you go to New York... if I wasn't here, if we weren't... if we weren't me and you?" She asked out of the blue, turning to face him as he passed her a drink.
He looked thoughtful for a moment, looking out the window at the dark and wet night around Small Heath while taking a sip. He looked back at her to answer, seeing in the moonlight that her eyes were tired and yet still her pupils dilated when she looked at him.
"I don't know, Alv" He shrugged, honestly not knowing.
The answer clearly didn't agree with her, her brow furrowing as she tried to avoid his eyes as she took a sip. She was disappointed. Did Finn really have that little faith in Tommy? Could he live with himself if he left behind the family that had done everything in their power to make sure one day, he had something to be handed, as their brother?
But without Ailbhe, Finn would be a very different person indeed.
"I don't know because I can't imagine a life or a fucking version of me that doesn't have you in it" He added, admitting the truth and the whole truth.
She felt a smile tugging at her lips. For someone who claimed to not be the best with words, he really had a way of making her heart beat that little bit faster.
Stretching up on her toes she kissed him, just for a moment before feeling his arms tighten around her and pull her in against him.
"Once McCavern and Mosley are dead, Tommy will deal with Michael" Finn promised, more for himself than anyone else Ailbhe thought.
"Michael doesn't know what he's talking about, you're going to stay here with me and we're going to be fine"
He said it so certainly like just by saying it out loud he would be holding her to this promise despite not having been the one to make it.
She wanted to stay with Finn, forever if she could but the little voice in her head, egged on by Michael's taunts were starting to make her doubt everything. Her feelings for Finn couldn't be changed, that was one thing she knew would never change but everything else, everything else seemed to get more and more complicated leaving her only certainty threatened.