11th March 2021
Thank you for the kindness you bestowed in the comment section of the last chapter! May Allah, the Most Merciful, reward all of you who read my works while trying to find a path that takes you to Him, and may He ease for you your tasks. Here's another update, hope you enjoy it in sha Allah :)
"Worship none but Allah; be kind to parents, relatives, orphans and the needy; speak kindly to people."
[Surah Baqarah]
Chapter 27:
The Grand Reveal
Ahmed's eyes darted to his bedroom door, and he was just about to respond to the knock when an infuriated Afreen, not awaiting a reply, barged in.
"Ever heard of manners?" Ahmed questioned, eyeing his twin.
"Nope," she shrugged innocently. "Never saw it in my twin brother, so never imbibed it," she bickered.
"What do you want, Afreen?" He questioned, not in the mood to quarrel.
"What is this that I'm hearing?" She demanded.
"How will I know what you've been hearing? Sometimes one can tend to hear voices that don't even exist, so how am I supposed to know the sounds reaching your ears?" Ahmed riled her up further.
Taking in an angry breath, Afreen held on to the last string of patience left in her. "I was speaking to Tam on the phone a while back and she asked me about my opinion on the proposal no one bothered to tell me about. Why did this reach me through an international call when the one who announced this lives under the same roof as me?"
Ahmed looked at Afreen, amused, and said, "Nice, I see you've become smarter with your words."
"Ahmed," she screamed, and grinning, her brother held his hands in surrender.
"Aaf," he stated, "The only reason I didn't tell you about this is that I thought mum would eventually let you know."
Still mad at him, she informed, "I asked mum the same thing and she said she thought you must have already spoken to me about it."
Ahmed shrugged, asking her to let it go. "It's a misunderstanding, then. But the fact of the matter is the news has reached you. So what's your take on this?"
Glaring at him, she replied, "I refuse to share my view with you because you weren't polite enough to come and deliver it to me."
Suddenly, there was a shift in Ahmed's mood, and while he was being jovial a moment ago, his expressions turned solemn now. "It doesn't matter, Afreen. Because let's admit it, whether one of us likes a proposal or not holds little importance in this house unless it also agrees with Mamma's taste. So I think, although it was unintentional, it's good that you found out about Hilal after I discussed it with Mamma and she agreed to speak to Abbu about it. If she wasn't willing to go ahead, then asking for your opinion on this would anyway be pointless."
Afreen, who had felt anxious when she first found out about the proposal, felt herself go numb with what her twin just said.
"Ahmed," she started, in a softer tone this time as she walked ahead to occupy the rocking chair by the window. "This is your toxic trait. You don't address matters that need to, pile it all within yourself, and then burst out at the most random of moments."
Ahmed looked away, clenching his jaw.
"You're becoming bitter towards Mamma, and sooner or later, it will begin to show in your words and actions."
Unwilling to discuss anything related to his life, Ahmed diverted the topic and said, "Forget about me, Afreen. You tell me how you feel about Hilal's proposal."
"No Ahmed, before we get there, you listen to me," Afreen redirected his diversion. "I think you need to talk to Mamma, probably tell her how you liked Rufaida, and the only reason you couldn't make your move was because you feared backlash from her. And by the time you mustered the courage to, you believed the assumption that she's about to get married and now you're left hurting. You say you've closed the chapter but the wound is still fresh and your thoughts are making you go crazy. Just talk to Mamma, Ahmed, I think you need to vent it out and address this matter instead of accumulating it so much within that it becomes a mountain in front of you, blocking you from reaching your blessings."
"Ridiculous," Ahmed laughed, as if what his twin just proposed was a hilarious joke.
"Ahmed," Afreen sighed, "Life can't be lived nursing a broken heart. You got to do something to fix it."
"Afreen," Ahmed reminded, "Finally you've received a proposal that is promising and worth the wait, I'm positive about it, and at this juncture, you cannot expect me to shift everyone's energy to something pointless. This house has waited for years to see you get your happiness, and now when we're finally walking towards it, you certainly cannot expect me to ruin it, not for something that's not mine to begin with."
"Ahmed," Afreen pleaded, "My happiness will never be complete seeing you unhappy."
"Is this supposed to be a secretive approval to Hilal's proposal?" Ahmed grinned, shifting out from his sullen mood.
Afreen bit her lip, a smile making its way to her lips. How she wished Tam or her favourite cousin, Anabya, was here, she couldn't wait to have a girl talk with them. There were so many things playing on her mind that she couldn't discuss with Ahmed, he just wouldn't get it.
"I wanted to ask you," Afreen initiated, "Was it Hilal who actually proposed this, what exactly did he tell you?"
"Of course it was him," Ahmed confirmed. "I never saw it coming."
"Me too," Afreen agreed. She had known him through Ahmed, but such an idea had never crossed her mind.
"He said, he was driving back home but changed his mind and made his way to Zaika to meet me. He's already spoken to his family, and they're all looking forward to this, they just need our approval to initiate things. How do you feel about it, Aaf?"
"But why me..." Afreen trailed off, still in a state of shock regarding this. She did not underestimate her worth, and she knew she had accumulated enough lessons from the past to become a decent wife if marriage was written for her the second time. She was aware that life wasn't supposed to be perfect and while she had her set of shortcomings, she also admitted that Allah had nurtured in her characteristics that may be an answer to some man's prayers. But as confident as she was, she still couldn't wrap her mind around the idea that Hilal, by choice, wanted to marry her. As narrow-minded as it may sound, the fact that he had never been married before while Afreen was a divorcee still stood its ground, and it made her wonder why would he choose to be with her when he had so many options available.
As if understanding his sister's train of thoughts, Ahmed comforted, "Why not you, Aaf? Trust me, Hilal is like a brother to me, and while I do think we can't find you someone better than him, he's going to be the one more blessed if Allah has written you for him. Of course, you're super annoying, but you bake some amazing cakes and give pretty good advice if need be, so I guess you could say he's fortunate."
Afreen's eyes glazed over at Ahmed's words, her soul thanking him for the reassurance she needed so desperately. What Ahmed said was subtle yet so soothing, and it was what Afreen needed to know at the moment. That just because Hilal was an amazing human, his goodness didn't outweigh hers, she was amazing in her own way and her past needed to be left where it belonged. She could carry the lessons she learned from everything she went through, but that did not mean she also had to bear the trauma lifelong.
The siblings sat in silence after that, and a sudden idea struck Afreen. She had always believed in intuition. While there were times when she had mistaken its interpretation, these days she was going through a process where her gut feelings hit just right. It may have seemed like she was more eager to see Ahmed and Rufaida together than both of them wanted it for themselves, but that thought didn't deter her motive. Something about the theory that Ahmed believed didn't sit right with her and she needed closure on this. And because Ahmed wasn't going to, she decided his intentions didn't have to stop her too.
Acting on impulse, she plucked out her phone from a jeans pocket and dialed a number she wasn't expecting.
The person on the other end answered it on the third ring and Afreen put it on loudspeaker.
"Assalamu alaikum, Afreen," Rufaida greeted, her tone soft, while Ahmed jerked his head towards his twin, wide-eyed.
"You've lost it," he whispered, almost getting a heart attack as he realized Afreen had the guts to call Rufaida in spite of him demanding her to drop the matter forever.
"End the call," he mouthed, shooting up from where he was resting on his bed, and as he began to grab the phone from her, Afreen held out her hand, her index finger firmly asking him to stay away.
Ahmed glared at her as she responded, "Wa alaikum as salam, Rufaida. How have you been?"
"Alhamdulilah, I've been good, Afreen. How about you?" She questioned cordially.
"Alhamdulilah," she responded. "Sorry if you weren't expecting my call, Rufaida. I was speaking to Jamie regarding a cake order I placed with her for my friend who graduated as a Doctor, and in between that she told me it was your farewell today, so thought I'd call and check up on you."
"Yeah," Rufaida breathed, "Three months went by quite fast."
Ahmed sat by the foot of his bed, his arms crossed against his chest, as he looked at Afreen pointedly while he waited for her to finish the call so he could lecture her on how he didn't appreciate her move.
"So what have you planned next? And hey, Rufaida, you promised me to invite me to your wedding once the dates were finalized, did you forget me already?" Afreen vigilantly broached the topic of interest, ignoring the stink eye her brother gave her all the while.
There was a pause on the other end until Rufaida declared the statement that would change her fate.
"I..." She started, picking her words cautiously. "The previous proposal didn't work out, Afreen. Mum and Nani are looking into others, so I guess you'll have to wait for the invite until they find the right person for me."
A smile broke out on Afreen's features and she looked at Ahmed, who gazed at her, absolutely shocked.
Fist pumping the air while she graced her brother with an I-told-you smile, Afreen tried to make her tone sympathetic, as she said, "Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know about that. I pray you find the person who probably is desperately looking for a path to reach you too."
A forced chuckle was the only response Afreen received to her prayer as Rufaida said, "In sha Allah, I'll meet you some time, Afreen."
"In sha Allah," Afreen agreed, and exchanging pleasantries, she hung up.
"So..." Afreen trailed off, eyeing her brother as he sat in stunned silence.
Ahmed looked as if he had forgotten how to string words together to form a coherent sentence. He seemed puzzled and stunned, but his eyes sparkled with hope, as if he was just given the news of the arrival of a long-awaited guest.
"She is not getting married?" He asked, stressing every word, unable to believe what was just projected to him.
"She is not getting married," Afreen emphasized and Ahmed released a breath he didn't know he had been holding in for so long. He had spent his nights forcing his mind to accept this theory but now when he was offered an alternate reality where he didn't have to pressurize his heart into believing what it didn't want to accept, a weight was lifted off his shoulders. The journey was still daunting and the destination still looked far, but at the moment he wanted to focus on the glad tidings that God had sent to him. He knew he was still in the depths of the storm, but the shore suddenly felt near and that's all that Ahmed wanted to focus on.
The schemes and plans could all wait, for today he was going to enjoy the peace that he was bestowed with after spending several weeks being in pieces.
***
A couple of nights later, the walls of the Siddique household that had turned grey witnessing the agony of its only daughter were painted a vibrant shade of red. Raiyyan and Tammara were back from their trip, the family had discussed Hilal's proposal, they had prayed their Istikhara and earlier that day, Ahmed had called Hilal to let him know he was finally allowed to escalate things.
Everyone's thoughts were invested on this new subject of concern, and Ahmed didn't know how to put across his story to his mother. He was waiting for the right time to break this to her, but it didn't look like he could bring this up with Zainab anytime soon.
But as he sat there on a chaise lounge, what Ahmed didn't realize was that sometimes life didn't want you to wait for the right time, instead, you were expected to bring the time that would set things right, by Allah's permission.
"Ahmed, I have shown you a total of eight proposals so far, and you're here telling me you didn't like even one?" Zainab asked, exhausted by her son's behavior.
Afreen, who was scrolling through art supplies on an online store, looked up, her eyes twinkling with interest.
Ahmed put down the newspaper he was reading after coming home from work a while ago, and reminded, "I told you I'm looking for a few characteristics in my future wife, and you didn't show me any girls who matched them, Mamma."
Heaving a tired sigh, Zainab replied, "The kind of girl you're looking for is very rare, Ahmed. Such girls existed in our times, but not now. Let go of a few characteristics, beta, so many of your friends are getting married, don't you want to settle down too?"
"Mamma I never said I don't want to get married, just find me the right girl. I don't plan to compromise when it comes to deen. I don't claim to be very pious, may Allah forgive me, but if this journey to Jannah is made of hundred steps and I'm on the twentieth step, then I want to marry someone who too is there so we can walk together to reach our destination. I want to get married to someone who's on the same page as me. I don't think I'm asking for too much."
"Ahmed," Zainab said sternly, trying to get her son to comprehend. "Why don't you understand that it's difficult to find the girl you want in the proposals I'm looking at."
"Then why don't you expand your territory? Looks or financial status does not fall under my priorities. As long as the person I'm marrying appeals to me, I'm okay with marrying someone who does not fit all these materialistic criteria. So why don't you let go of them too, Mamma," Ahmed started, swimming in dangerous waters.
"Ahmed," Zainab warned, her tone reminding him that he was crossing a boundary he wasn't meant to.
Afreen, who had been sitting on a dining chair as a mute spectator all along, pitched in this time. "Mamma, I think Ahmed's right. If you're only going to look in your circle, perhaps you may not find the kind of person Ahmed wishes to marry. Besides, if he himself is not particular about the criteria that you have for his wife, I guess we can let it go."
"Nonsense," Zainab dismissed. "Ahmed is one of the most eligible bachelors in town, so many people have their eyes on him, I'm not settling for anything but the best for him."
"But what if the best you want for me does not match the best I want for myself? You're looking for someone in whom I can see my entire world, but this dunya is temporary, and I'd rather marry the one in whom I can see my Aakhirah," Ahmed put forth.
Zainab gazed at her son and his unusual behaviour and asked, "Is there someone you like?"
"What makes you ask me this, Mamma?" Ahmed questioned in his defense.
"Certainly you wouldn't be arguing with me over someone who doesn't exist. Who is it?" She enquired.
Ahmed looked into his mother's eyes and then turned away, beads of sweat shining on his forehead.
"Rufaida," he finally proclaimed, still not looking at her.
"Rufaida who?" Zainab demanded, her blood pressure rising.
Ahmed gazed at Afreen, and taking it as her cue, she explained, "Mamma, Ahmed is talking about Rufaida, Asma Aunty's daughter..."
Zainab raised her eyebrows, as if trying to place this girl her children were trying to explain to her, and when she finally realized who she was, she turned to face Ahmed, aghast.
"Are you in your senses, Ahmed?" She reprimanded, not believing her ears. "Do you even know what you're talking about?"
"She is nothing like them, Mamma," Ahmed justified.
Zainab wore a look of horror as her youngest son announced his preference, gazing at him as if she waited for the moment he'd grin and tell her it was yet another one of his pranks he pulled in his teenage years. However, when a couple of minutes passed and Ahmed's expressions conveyed his seriousness on the matter, Zainab found herself being swept under tides she didn't see coming her way.
"Where did you meet her and when did all of this start?" She asked, dreading the answer.
"I met her at Zaika," Ahmed answered truthfully. "Neil had hired her as the Nutritionist for our new project. She stayed there for three months and while we barely interacted, the few times I saw her, I realized she fit into the image I had for a future wife. She's exceptionally kind and soft-spoken, Mamma, and has nothing to do with what Afreen had to go through. Afreen also found out that she and her mother don't even live in the same house anymore, they have a place of their own. I didn't intend to like her Mamma, but it just happened. I know our class doesn't match, we come from different backgrounds and we share a horrible past with their family, but despite knowing all of this, I still seem to be drawn towards her," he admitted, feeling his hands turn cold as his mother carefully listened to his confession.
"I don't care how kind you think she is, Ahmed," Zainab finally stated. "And of course you'd feel drawn towards her, this is what girls who come from such families want, to act so innocent that guys like you trip for them. I'm not stumbling into this trap, Ahmed, and don't you dare fall into it too."
Afreen was right with what she had warned him about a couple of days back, that one of his traits was to pile it all in so much that even he couldn't handle it after a point. The image that Zainab projected of Rufaida infuriated Ahmed to the extent that try as he might, he couldn't control what followed next. He knew the Qur'an commanded exceptional treatment to one's parents, his knowledge of Islam reminded him that the Prophet, may peace be upon him, advised us to not get angry, but this was one of those moments he would regret as he acted without thinking.
"You do not get to say that about someone you don't even know, Mamma," Ahmed debated. "Whether you approve of this or not is a different subject, but judging her is not right. She doesn't even know my feelings for her, I don't even know if she likes me back. You must not taint her image just because you don't agree with what I think of her."
"And you get to argue with your mother who raised you for a girl you met sometime back?" Zainab spat.
"This is exactly why I was quiet all this while, I knew you'd react this way. Nothing matters to you, Mamma. My emotions, my feelings, nothing matters here. You'll travel the entire world to find me a wife of your choice but you won't get me the one girl I've begun to like. Over here, it's all about what will society think, oh she doesn't meet our class, she doesn't come from a reputable family and the list is endless. Why can't you see that her heart is chaste, she's on the right path that Islam promotes and is the girl who ticks off my list? I'm the one who has to spend the rest of my life with her, and if I'm okay with her then what's the problem? You can find me the most beautiful girl but what happens fifty years later when we're all old and wrinkly? You can find me a girl who comes from a rich family but what happens when tables turn and that family goes under financial crisis? I do not care about what people will say as long as my choices are Islamically acceptable."
Zainab glared at Ahmed, and reminded, "I can't believe you'd be so cruel to throw Afreen's past on her face and bring back those bitter memories at a point in life when she's mostly going to be treading a new path. How selfish can you be to not value any of our emotions and only think about your feelings? What makes you think I will take your proposal and step into their house? I don't think you can even see such delusional dreams, let alone speak of them in reality."
"Mamma, whatever happened with me is over," Afreen spoke on behalf of her brother. "Even when I was in that house, Rufaida was my ally, I confided in her on days when I felt the most lost. She was the only one who knew I was leaving that house and she supported me always. She and Asma Aunty too were trapped there, she doesn't have a father and they were tortured in that house. But they are a different entity now, they've moved out and are living life on their terms. They are absolutely amazing people, and this is coming from someone who has seen them so closely. I have no problem with Ahmed's choice, in fact, I am for it, I know Rufaida and I think the two will make a good pair."
"Keep quiet, Afreen," Zainab snapped, holding her head in between her hands as if she almost couldn't believe the mess these twins were landing her and themselves into. "Fine, I'll believe you and agree that she must be very nice, but I don't care, because Ahmed cannot marry her. I don't think you fully understand what you're implying, Ahmed, what you're asking for is impossible. You cannot imagine me stepping into their house, forget attempting to start a relationship with them. Ridiculous, I can't believe you're reopening this chapter after all these years. Do you not remember the tonnes of pain we had to endure due to them? What you speak of is ludicrous, and if I didn't know better, I'd book an appointment with a psychiatrist for you. What you're hinting at cannot and will not happen. Get over your feelings for her, you have no choice, Ahmed. Tell your heart to forget her. I want this matter closed now and for all, your father better not get a hint of this. Bury this and forget you ever discussed this with me."
Looking at his mother with wounded eyes, Ahmed mocked, "You think my heart is a battery-operated toy whose remote is in your hands, Mamma?"
"Ahmed," Zainab snarled, "You don't get to speak to me in this tone."
"And you get to do this to me?" He rebelled. "Fine, I'll drop this matter, but know that I won't settle for just anyone. I'll marry the girl of your choice only if you find me someone better than her. I'm not giving up on what I want when Allah has shown me that it's achievable. But I'm also not going to fight you on this, Mamma, I give my word that I'll only marry the girl you approve of. I have seen what happens to a marriage that does not have parents' blessings, and I wouldn't want to ruin my life because of it. I rest my case in Allah's Hands."
And with that Ahmed marched to his room, even ignoring Fariha when she called out to him, skipping steps as he raced on the flight of stairs to find refuge.
He was mad, he was hurt and if he could peak at his heart, he would find pieces sharp enough to slice the hands of anyone who tried to fix it.