Noor glanced at Rajveer, as his lips moved closure to her, ready to wrap her in his warmth. She moved her attention to his eyes, they were closed and in submission. Rajveer leaned furthermore to closed the distance, that's when she couldn't handle it anymore and she leaned away from him.
"I have to go" Noor insisted without meeting his eyes. The sun was already setting and she knew if Arjun returned home before her, she would be in a problem. However, that was not the only reason for her to reject Rajveer's kisses. "I need to reach home before Arjun."
"I understand" Rajveer picked her petite hand delicately and kissed it, "Are you still afraid of him?" Rajveer asked with a small grin. Noor was too occupied with her thoughts to pay notice at it.
"No, but I don't want him to know this sooner. He is already very stressed out these days," she explained. "I don't want to burden him anymore."
"You still care for him." He paused, picking on the discomfort she was feeling. "It will take less than half an hour to reach home," Rajveer said stiffly. " We can spend some more time in each others company. but if you want to go, I am not stopping you."
Noor didn't miss the disappointment in Rajveer's voice. The way his eyes were set on her, she could feel the anger oozing out of them. It gave her an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.
From the time Noor started dating Rajveer, she found her long lost happiness in him. He listened to her conversation very keenly, he paid attention to her every small detail. She felt comfortable with him. He was thoughtful of his action and made her feel like a human. Noor knew she was walking on thin ice and anything could go wrong leading to drastic consequences but the absence of happiness for so long in her life made her greedy to think about anything else. She craved to receive love as much as she could. 'She has all her future to think about the consequences of her actions.' that is what she explained to herself in the lonely and silent nights. And that helped her from being eaten by the guilt.
"I was thinking to quickly have something to bite on our way before I drop you. I know you won't have anything until Arjun's eats." he offered, but Noor acted as if she didn't hear him. She was lost in the world of guilt and pleasure, asking herself several times what she is doing is right or not?
"Can't we just head home for today?" she replied staring at the distance, her eyes following the road.
"Okay, as you wish." Rajveer nodded and started the engine. He noticed how silence Noor has turned today. He wanted to ask but he kept it for some other day.
Noor took a deep breath and put on the seat belt, she felt glad for some reason to return home. Her life had been hard and rather lonely in Hooda's villa but still, for an unknown reason, she felt that man and that house as home. No matter how much she denied it, she loved Arjun and subconsciously was stuck with him forever. Maybe that is the reason, why she didn't give Rajveer any chance to touch her beyond hand-kissing. She just didn't felt too right and too wrong at the same time whenever Rajveer wanted to kiss her. The dilemma infuriated her and she closed her eyes breathing in frustration.
The road was empty and the few cars that passed were speeding, eager to get home and meet their family. Noor silently sat in the car where Rajveer smoothly drives her home. Once they reached, he waited for her to speak something but she remained unmoved.
"Noor, we reached home."
Noor broke free from her thoughts and looked around, she didn't realize when they reached home. "o..okay." she nodded with a small smile.
"Noor.." Rajveer moved a bit to engulf her in a hug, but she opened her side of the door and stepped out of it. She knew she was hurting him and she felt bad for him, but she was just not ready for it.
"Bye.." she waved her hand through the window. Rajveer nodded and smiled.
Noor remembered how Arjun blamed her for being disloyal when she never thought about anyone but him. She stepped inside the huge empty villa, walking through the sad passage that taunted her, every sculpture in the room glared at her for her betrayal.
She was lonely back, but now she felt more empty than before. The silence in the room sliced her soul. Her sins were eating her and she felt helpless to think that way. She didn't know when she drips off to sleep.
"Slept Wifey!" she groggily opened her eyes only to find herself surrounded with flowers.
"Arjun?" and he smiled, a genuine loving smile.
***
More days passed by, and Arjun became puzzled for Noor, earlier he was plain rude and abusive to her. But these days, he became sweet and caring someday and rude and monster some days. It was not his abusive behaviour that pushed her to depression, it was his good side that he began to show made her slip into guilt. She didn't know when he would react how? and that always made her feel on edge.
He began gifting her flowers and jewellery more often now. The slow change made her worried about his intention. Involuntarily her heart began to fall for it, she felt an urge to hold on to his this pleasant side. His action began developing hopes in her and she decided to end up her relationship with rajveer, until last night when once again he broke hell loose.
It was late in the evening when she was waiting for his return. He came but with two women. He used them in the room that belonged to Noor. He gave her the night that was Noor's. She cursed herself for keeping any hopes on him. He would never change. As the minute began to pass and the house began to echo with the women moan. Noor desperately held on to alcohol for support. To this point, the bitterness of the alcohol didn't even bother her much. For the first time, she felt good to lose control over herself. When the giggling of those women became unbearable for her, she took the keys to the car and walked out of this hell. Her feet were dancing on the straight road, and vision became blurry. Before she would understand her actions, she was already standing before a door.
****
Noor rested her elbow on the pillow and rubbed her fingers into her forehead. The pounding in her head was bad enough before, but now she felt as though it were about to explode. Light whacked her eyesight and she blinked several times to adjust to the brightness in the room. As soon as the brightness dims in the room, she saw Rajveer, shirtless lying on the bed on his stomach. Her eyes ran down to her own body, she gasped on seeing herself wrapped only with the blanket. Her hands quickly ran to her neck, It was then she realized that the life she thought she had has crumbled down. Her finger touched the space on her neck and then eyed the table where her mangalsutra was.
Noor couldn't believe what has happened. The most precious ornament she ever had, now has become worthless beads of black stone for her. Her marital life with Arjun was over. She finally found someone who cherishes her, love her and Listened to everything she said. She found a relationship finally that brought happiness to her bland life. She smiled as she looked at Rajveer. She felt grateful towards him. He never pushed her into something, never pressurized her for physical intimacy and never judge her for her choices whether he agreed or not. She felt grateful for her life for giving her new reasons to smile.
Her thoughts broke with the vibration of her phone. She looked around for it and checked the screen. It read Arjun. The atmosphere turned thick for her, she felt suffocated to breathe. A wave of guilt and fear wrapped her, she brought her hand to her chest to calm herself. Her fingers shivered to touch the green icon to answer the call, all the time her eyes twitched from the screen to Rajveer who is sleeping peacefully beside her.
Beads of sweats formed on her forehead as she forced herself to touch the button. Just then the phone got snapped out of her grip and the ring died. She looked up to meet Rajveer's concerned eyes. She immediately threw her arms around him and began wetting his bare body with her tears. "It's okay, It's okay." He cooed in her ears while running his hand in her hair.
The phone rang a few times more and with each ring, she clutched Rajveer's arm tighter to the point of leaving her nails mark on his skin. A small message notification ring soon echoed the room. Noor leaned away from Rajveer, while her hands tried to reach for her phone. She was sure that the message was from her husband.
"Are you still scared of your husband?" Rajveer stopped her.
She looked at him for few seconds before she moved her eyes back to the cell phone. She stretched her hand and picked it up. Sliding over to the message, she opened it to read.
Noor felt Rajveer's presence and soon his hands locked around her waist. He rested his face in the nape of her neck and she leaned a bit to him. All those negative feelings disappeared at the moment, she felt more courageous at the moment.
"What is he saying?"
"He wants me home in 2 hours." She replied, ignoring the part where Arjun mentioned a surprise waiting for her and apologized for slapping her this morning. She flinched as she remembered one of those nights with Arjun in that hell. He was speaking something gibberish and wanted to make love to her in that state. When she opposed he forced himself on her. Her eyes teared up as she remembered how much she suffered in the hands of his, ever since she married him. In the morning when he woke up, he acted lovey-dovey and offered her to drop her at her family's place. Noor knew he did it every time, he crossed a new line and acted like a monster. His sorry were as fake as their base of this marriage.
"Hmm... You want to leave?" She turned her head slightly to look at rajveer.
"I have to."
The sadness in her voice made Rajveer peck her shoulder gently. "I love you."
Rajveer waited for her reply but that never came. Ever since they started dating, Rajveer noticed the change of expression on her face whenever he said he loves her, as if her whole conscience fought a battle inside her. She remained calm on the outside however, her whole inner self panicked.
"I love you." He repeated, reading her expression.
She looked at her hands and closed her eyes. She felt guilty every time Rajveer confessed his love for her. She may lie to others, but deep inside she was still Mrs Hooda, and no matter how much she tried to break free from this name, she knew she still has feelings for her husband. These three words were not a symbol of love anymore for her, it was more like a weapon, these men used to bruise her. she didn't love him, but she was happy with Rajveer on the other hands she still loved Arjun but there was no happiness between them. What an irony!
****
Zoya stared at the long road before her, then slowly moved her eyes to Aditya. With their hand locked in a web, she noticed how his thumb was caressing her skin gently. She had no clue where they were heading, and to be honest she didn't care it either. She leaned slightly to rest her head on his shoulder when Aditya felt her movement, he moved closer to her with his hand instantly finding its way in her hair. He smiled at the texture of her hair, the warmth of her skin soothed his heart.
It's been more than hours they were still on wheels, unable to find a reason to continue driving, he decided to press the brakes and the sudden halting of the car, made Zoya jolt up from slumber and she looked around trying to figure her surrounding. But as soon as she looked at Aditya, her fear faded away, replacing with a better feeling, a Home!
Aditya glanced at Zoya for a brief second before he peeled off her hands and stepped out of the car. Zoya remained seated, confused at his action. She noticed they had stopped at some unknown road. At first, she thought there was some problem with the car, but when she saw Aditya standing right in front of the car, with his back facing him and his hand brushing his hair, she knew something was going through her man.
"Aditya?" She covered the distance and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to gain his attention.
"Do you?" He paused squeezing his eyes, "You know, I have everything. It is everything that someone might see only in their dreams. My parents gave me everything before asking for it, So I never felt the need for asking anything from anyone, not even from god. Never felt hunger, never felt insecurities, never felt afraid. But since I met you, for the first time in my life, I am feeling fear, Fear of losing you, 'what will happen next?' fear of this question. I am afraid of fate decisions, I am afraid of ours destiny. I am scared of myself, Zoya."
His honest words brought tears to Zoya's eyes. She smiled through tears and locked her eyes with his. "Does that makes me ineligible for you in your eyes?"
"You are scared that we might not be together in future?" her question made him flinch and a trail of tears dripped on his cheeks.
Zoya wiped his tears with her palm and held his face gently in her hand. He leaned a bit to her touch.
"Aren't you afraid for us?" he asked.
"What's the point in being scared, when we know it is going to happen one day no matter what we do?" She looked calm to him, but she was shivering at the very thought. One thing that her profession taught her well. To hide her emotions!
"No, I won't let it happen. Zoya, trust me! I will do everything to keep us together." He quickly held her hands and promised.
"How long will you continue to fight against fate? We have destined Aditya, it's our destiny to not be together. I don't want you to fight against anything. I want you to live a good life."
"Without you?" Aditya immediately stopped her.
"Now, where will I go away from you?" she asked with a beaming smile. Her eyes holding his, with love and affection.
"I will always be around you, wherever you go."- in memories
"Zoya, there is only one way for it. Let's get married."
Her eyes shot open and all her emotions washed over her conscience for a brief moment. For an instant, she almost gave in to her desire and wanted to scream a loud yes to him, but as soon as her past surfaced her logical mind, her smile faded away with a frown.
"How will that happen? and where will we go after marrying you?"
"To my house." he happily answered but then the face of his father and mother appeared before him and the smile turned into a blank canvas.
"You cannot take me there, right?" she crossed her arms and smiled.
"Then I will take you far away from here." He took her hands in his, " Zoya, let's run away from here. Somewhere far away, where we could live together."
"Do you really think such place does exist in this world, Aditya?" She paused, " Is there a place where anyone cannot identify Aditya Harshwardhan Hooda, a son of a famous businessman, a son of a well-known politician. Is there really a place where I can hide Aditya, where people won't recognize me, a famous prostitute? If someday, someone identified your identity, you will be called my pimp and not my husband. this is how we woman who lives in dark are fated with."
"ZOYA" he roared unable to hear her piercing words.
"Don't you want to be with me? is this what you are trying to say?" he asked.
"I want you Aditya, but not at the expense of your life," she replied with shimmering tears.
"Then you tell me what should I do?"
"Make memories and embrace ourselves, we cannot change destiny but when that day comes, we would have enough memories to live our life with it."
"How are you so strong Zoya?" His voice quivered at the end
"I am because of you. Your presence gives me land to stand on and a sky to fall freely without fear."
She wrapped her hands around his torso, while she leaned a bit to see his face.
"Always remember this Aditya, I will be somewhere in the crowd with my eyes always on you. "
"Where?"
"Here." she tapped his heart delicately and left a kiss on it.
The worries and fear remained in their heart, but the only thing that changed that night was the courage to face them. They silently promised each other holding their hands together under the star shower to not let any emotion ruin this courage that holds them together. They would cherish each other and be the strength, filling every second of their life with each other memories. So that when that day comes, they would survive...Not live!