It's Azalim Istanbul fanfiction; it will be four parts no more, it was inspired by my friend LadyLashana, the story will start for four years after, episode 26 when Cenk get shot, Nedim decides to leave everything and everyone, he vanishes for four years until Ceren find him and go to him. Nedim left when he was 24, and now he is 28; Ceren was 22 when he left, now she is 26 in the story.
"Some things just couldn't be protected from storms. Some things simply needed to be broken off...Once the old thing was broken off, and amazingly beautiful thing could grow in their place."
― Denise Hildreth
"What do you want, Ceren?''Nedim said with knitted eyebrows, Looking at her as she stood ten feet from him, as the wind blew her hair to her eyes, and she removed nervously.
"I want to know why didn't you divorce me? Why are we still married, Nedim?" she was nervous and anxious. He could feel it, but he kept looking at her, then smirked.
"Because I wanted that ", He declared; she gets irritated from his calmness.
"Why do you want that? What is the meaning of our marriage?" she wanted to know the truth, after this long time,' Still why?'
"Why do you even care if there is meaning or not? Aren't you happy with the benefits you get holding my name?" he could see the different emotions go through her that showed to the surface, shocked, saddens, hopeless, anger.
"No, because this is only a marriage on paper that I have been imprisoned with for four years", she yelled angrily, 'How could he be that cold? That calm?'Nedim snorted.
"Imprisoned? Aren't you the one who made sure to stop every attempt to get a divorce, now what changed?" his eyebrow was raised with accession.
"What gets changed? That I got tired of this game, got tired of this lie, of a marriage that doesn't exist, for a husband who hates me" she was on the edge of crying; it had been so long since she cried or showed her weakens but in front of him, her wall always come down and become vulnerable only him, only Nedim...
His face softened and sighed, removed his gloves from his hand and put them in the back pocket of his jeans, walked to her.
"I don't hate you, Ceren. If you want to get a divorce, we will; I will talk to my lawyer to prepare the documents", and he walked past her in the direction of his house, leaving her alone in the grape field looking at his back.
Her tears fell down her cheeks, burning her heart again, like when he left her alone four years ago, seeing him after this long time she thought their meeting would be warmer; however it was cold and grey as the weather today, she had to fly to come to him and two hours in the car to reach to his farm, Ceren wiped her cheeks and followed him to his house.
The farmhouse was big and spacious, a ranch style, stone and wood, oversized windows, a big veranda, and big and beautiful trees surrounding it. The furniture was simple and rustic, but cozy and manly; it had a Nedim touch to it.
"Do you want coffee, tea, or wine?"Nedim asked as she entered, her eyes looking around the place.
"Wine will be good", she mumbled quality; he nodded,
Lightning and thunder racked the place, made her jump; Nedim's eyes were on her immediately; she never liked the sound of thunder; she used to hold onto him for protection.
The memory of that night was still fresh in his mind, there was a thunderstorm, and they were in their room at night at the mansion, he was studying, and Ceren was on the bed trying restlessly to sleep, he saw her turning on the bed nervously when suddenly a loud thunder braked the silence of the night.
Ceren screamed and sat on the bed shivering; he immediately came to her side, holding her shoulder; she clings to him, hugging him, her arms circled his waist like the dare of her life, hiding her head in his chest, his heart pounded in his chest matching hers; however, it was for another reason.
"Please don't leave me alone, don't let me go, I am scared", she cried.
"I won't," and he hugged her back; they lay on the bed still in his arms; she slept peacefully, even holding onto his shirt and her head buried into his chest.
Now he had to fight the urge to take her in his arms, clamming and assuring her that she is safe with him, in any case, that was never gone to happen not now or ever, and it's too late for it anyway, he went and bought two glasses and wine bottle, he knows one glasses went work, he asked to her to sit and handed her the glass.
"Thank you," Ceren said, feeling tired suddenly, not physically, mentally, and emotionally.
"How did you find me?" he asked and glanced at her face. Four years had changed her, had been generous with her. She had grown from an impulsive, angry girl to a confident and attractive woman. Ceren looked unestimated and stylish in her designer clothes and shoes. A real elegant businesswoman from the upper class.
"I was looking for you for a while," he nodded."You left everything," Ceren blurted, looking out of space.
"There was nothing left for me there," he said quietly, looking at his glass.
"Cemre?" Ceren said, gazing at him; Nedim's smirked ironically.
"She never was mine in the first place, and besides, now they are waiting for their firstborn" he took a sip from his wine.
"She loved you" was the hurt in her eyes for Cemre or for her.
"Not as much as she loves Cenk, anyway I made it easy for her to choose" their eyes meet for a brief moment.
"You vanished and didn't give anyone a choice", she whined, wanting to know why he did it.
"It was for the better; in the end, everyone was happy when I was gone," he said bitterly.
"Your uncle wasn't, Cemre wasn't," Ceren said; Nedim lowered his head, smirking.
"I wasn't...." she whispered it; he snapped his head to look at her, the sadness in her eyes said many things that he didn't want to admit, Nedim smirked angrily.
"You should be the happiest one; you didn't need to see the face of your son's killer", and he stood from the sofa.
"I never said you were the killer" she stood angrily, looking at him.
"You didn't need to, I saw it in your eyes" he was giving her his back and couldn't look at her; the guilt was still fresh like it happened yesterday, never gone, just increased with time, he could have been four yours old, running and playing, if not his life cut short before even seeing the light.
She held his arm and turned him to face her, her tears pouring on her cheeks.
"You are COWARD! You left and ran away, LEAVING everything behind", she shouted. He pulled himself from her grip.
" For what reason did you want me to stay? Everyone hated me there. For whom should I stay?" he yelled back.
"For me, for our revenge!!" ' How could he leave her? when they agreed to be together!?'Nedim sighed.
"That revenge that killed your son and it would have killed Cenk, and it would have destroyed us, it would have destroyed you Ceren, .....and look at you now", he snickered.
"What? Look at me, what do I have?" she spits angrily, taking a defensive posture.
"You have everything now; you have a life, a business, a name" Nedim looked her up and down, and Ceren got angrier.
"And you think I am happy?" she said with venom.
"Aren't you happy, Ceren? Didn't you get what went, in the end, the money, the fame,.... sorry the only thing you couldn't get was Cenk" he spits with malice.
"Don't mention that asshole's name on your lips," she snapped; Nedim chuckled while burning inside.
"You still have feelings for him?' there was hurt and pain in his voice.
"No, my feeling died the day my son died," she wiped her eyes; he nodded, looking at the other side, then back at her.
"You didn't answer my question. Aren't you happy, Ceren?" she looked at him with discontent.
"Are you happy, Nedim?" his face dropped, and she smirked, and shook her head sarcastically.
"I think I better go, no use of me staying here anyway", she took her bag from the sofa.
"I don't think you can go anywhere," he said quietly, clamming himself; Ceren looked at him confused.
"There is a storm on the way, it will last for the whole night, the road will be overflowing, it's dangerous to drive, you have to make yourself comfortable here tonight, I will prepare the guest room for you", he said and despaired in the hallway, he didn't give her a chance to replay or say anything, he decided for her like always. She hates this about him.
Her eyes scanned the place; it was spectacular and extraordinary; it had that warm and comfortable feelingًً.
On the wall, there were many pictures of him in the field with some farmers, smiling and laughing, others looked like of some celebrations with farmers and their families, and one picture caught her attention he was standing with a woman, tall, beautiful, and confident even with her simple clothes, her hand was in his waist and him in her back, it looked more intimate than friendly in the way they were near each other, his voice cut her thoughts.
"The room is ready; I kept some changing clothes, ...so you can make yourself more comfortable", she glanced at him for a while; he aged, looked more of a man than the boy she knew, his soft hair was shoulder length and had he short shaggy beard regardless, he looked handsome.
"It's on the right side" she took her bag and went to the room, he was in the living room, when she came to him with an angry face, holding the clothes.
"Whose clothes are these?" Ceren asked; he looked at her, confused.
"It's a woman's clothes, right? ....I am not going to wear any of your mistress clothes if you are going to give me, give me yours", she said and put them back into his hand; Nedim was surprised by her reaction.
"Ok...", he walked to his room, came back with sweatpants and a t-shirt.
"I think it could be in your size", she took it, walking back to the room.
" The dinner will be served after half an hour. Please join me... I will freshen up," he looked at his dusty clothes.
She nodded and went to the room.
Everyone moved in their life, even him; she was the one who was stuck in the past; Ceren looked at her reflections as she washed her face; her eyes were puffy and red.
For four years, her life had changed so much in these four years, for the better. Yes, nevertheless, lonely, after Nedim left for the USA saying that he was going to study, to improve himself, his Uncle was glad. He didn't stop him; he was busy with Cenk recovery after trying to kill himself; as Nedim's wife, she was still allowed to stay but not for long.
Agah and Seinz wanted her out of the Mansion. Before they threw her out, Nedim's lawyer called her and asked to meet; when she met him, she thought that Nedim had issued the divorce papers, to her surprise, he gave her the keys and the deed of the house, that Nedim bought it for her with her name and account number that had deposit money in her name that she allowed doing whatever with it, she was shocked and confused.
When Ceren woke up from her shock, she asked about the divorce; he told her that Nedim didn't mention anything about it. Then Ceren moved to her new house before anyone threw her out and used the money to make a name for herself. She knew money doesn't grow on trees; she opened one of Istanbul's biggest and Prestiges Beauty salons and spas. She has two branches now.
After a year he was gone, Nedim suddenly disappeared into thin air, no one could find him like the earth opened and swallowed him, a year after his despair his lawyer contacted the family, he gave the responsibility to Cenk, and authorization to his lawyer and he still hold the majority of shares making him still number one of the priority.
Ceren's family had abandoned her when they knew that the baby was Cenk's, not Nedim's, It's funny they didn't forgive her, but they forgive Cenk; their own blood was nothing to them!! The only one who has visited her in these four years was her Grandmother.
Ceren focused on her business and social life; she was in every celebrity party and gathering, regardless she was still alone, never dated anyone she was still Nedim's wife as everyone knows, she needed to keep the repatriation for herself and business, in contrary, it didn't stop her from enjoying her admirers' company, despise they were just for dinners, dance, and gifts, she was difficult to get.
What integrated her to look for him five months ago, was her sister's pregnancy announcement, which made her outraged and increased her hatred for her family for outcasting her, for her sister and Cenk's happy life; they all had a perfect life, only her, why? Doesn't she deserve any happiness? Doesn't she have a heart? Doesn't deserve another chance?
That when she decides to cut herself from the past, the first thing she needs is to get a divorce from her so-called Husband.
The richest and most famous of Istanbul, where her customers and her relationships with the wives of the important people in the country, with their help she found Nedim.Ceren was shocked to learn that he was in Turkey in Kemaliye for 3 years, having his own Vineyard, and was a wine producer; it was under another name so no one could know him or find him; she immediately cut a ticket. She came to him to put an end to her connection with Karacay.
As Nedim finished his shower, he changed his clothes, he thought, it was strange to see her after four long years, he wasn't shocked to see her, he felt sooner or later she would look for him, after Cenk and Cemre's pregnancy, it would trigger her, it took her five months to find him, yeah he kept tips on his so-called family.
Then again, what disturbed him was her emotional state, she was a strong woman, he knows that and a survivor, but something inside him wanted to protect her, like when he did four years ago, he knew a soon he was out, Ceren would be out of the house too and if he divorces her, she will get nothing, and will be cut-off, having his name had protected her and helped her with her business.
Nedim was really impressed with what she had achieved, building her own career, knowing she took a Business Management diploma to handle her business; yes, he kept tips on her too.
When Nedim went back to the hall, he saw her sitting on the dining table with the same clothes she came with and an empty plate in front of her; she didn't touch the food.
As he sat at the table, Ceren glanced at him.
"Your housemaid had left saying you just keep the dirty dishes on the sink, and she will clean them in the morning; she doesn't live here?"
"No, she comes at six in the morning and leaves at six in the evening, she has a family, and besides, there is not much work here or people" Ceren nodded, looking at her empty plate.
The silence was uncomfortable. There was so much tension that could be cut with a knife. After four years, they were sitting at the same table, not knowing how to start a conversation, and they are still married!
"Her food is good; please help yourself," Nedim said after a while of this tormented silence.
"Thanks, I will" and took a little bit of the potato casserole dish, but didn't put anything in her mouth; Nedim was watching her.
"Why did you keep this marriage? Because you felt sorry for me? You pity me?" the question surprised him; he took a bite from his food, chewing and swallowing it.
"No, I felt guilty and responsible for you," he said straightly; there was no room to lie, Ceren snorted.
" Guilt and I know why, but responsibility? That's new!" Nedim sighed. He knew she was trying to aggravate him.
"If I didn't, no one would do", Ceren let out a dry laugh. 'What a joke!? He even knew that no one cared about her!'
"So you are the Messiah?! Who helps the corrupted souls?" She was mocking him. This angered him.
"Because no one cared about you, Ceren, no one loved you, they all saw you as the bad person, no one took responsibility for what happened to you, not even Cenk or your mom" Ceren stood from the table looking at him.
"And you saw the good in me? And know what happened to me? You know nothing Nedim" she yelled; Nedim threw the table cloth and stood.
" I knew what Seinz did to you, I know about the video" Ceren face drained, her eyes widened, " I know that you came to Istanbul in the hope of getting married to Cenk when it's actually to marry me, your grandmother tricked you," her eyes moistened, she was dumbfounded that he knew and carried to look for the truth. Nedim was the only one who tried to understand.
"You were used and played like me, but no one stood by you, and someone should have,... and to be honest, you helped with my revenge, so I need to return the favor", Ceren's head snipped, her eyes filled with fire.
"The money and the house was a favor for my baby's death?" she hissed. Nedim's face turned white.
"No, for god sake!! No, Your Baby's death will always be in my neck, the guilt and the shame, I would carry until my grave Ceren," Nedim spoke with hurt and shame.
"You know very well I didn't blame you for it; you had everyone besides you and loved you....why did you really leave Nedim?" she shouted.
"Because I killed my own nephew and was going to kill my brother! Cenk is my big brother Ceren!!" Ceren was shocked but still was angry; she snorted.
" The guilt was for Cenk, not for my baby then? You left when Cenk shot himself, not when my Baby died," the acquisition in her eyes and words, killed him; it opened old winds and added salt, ripping it deep inside of him.
"Don't Ceren, don't. That's not fair" he pleaded to shake his head disapprovingly; she snorted with her tears falling.
"I wish I could believe you" and stormed out to her room; the way she looked at him held anger, hurt and pain bruised him to the core.
Nedim tears fell, this wasn't what he meant, he felt disgusted and guilty and still does, he Knew that Cenk was his brother when Seinz came to him screaming and cursing him, she told him he had killed his own brother, at that moment everything collapsed in front of him, because of his revenge he killed two people, he wasn't better than Seinz, he was like her, Nedim killed his Nephew and Brother.
That's when he decided he needed to leave forever. He was causing damage and destruction; his absence was better for everyone; he wasn't a part of their family; anyway, his existence or absence was the same as it was for years.
When Nedim asked his uncle that he needed to go to study in the USA after Cenk was discharged, his uncle agreed; happily, Nedim felt that was a sign for him to go, and after settling there, he thought about how he could disappear, then he got a letter from his uncle, his mother brother, who lived in the USA, they have learned that he got better. He was in the USA; his uncle wanted to meet him.
When they met, his uncle told him that through the years, they tried to contact him. Still, his Uncle's wife didn't allow them; even his grandma had passed away without seeing him; with this, he met the other half of his family, his mother's family. He learned that his grandfather had a Vineyard that left him with no care; Nedim bought from his uncle, learned farming and working methods, returned to Turkey, and did his business with his grandfather's name.
He found peace and solace in working in the field, a simple. Yet, it was hard work; it gave him that serenity, and made his move from his past and made peace with it, and gave him a real meaning to his life, not the moany and the company, or revenge it healed him from his demands, ...Ceren too needs to heal and move on with her life.
Ceren knew she wasn't fair with what she said and knew he was very sorry and regretful for what happened to her baby, and maybe he was the only one; however, she was ferries and indignantly, want to hurt him, to make him feel worse, want to get back at him for leaving her, wanted a punching bag, and he was the only one available.
A knock on the door made her sit straight on the bed and adjusted the t-shirt on her. The door opened, and Nedim's head appeared; he still looked handsome with a messy beard and longer hair.
"I just wanted to make sure that you are comfortable with your staying here?"Ceren was sitting on the bed, bending her legs beneath her; his T-Shirt was to her thighs; she was pulling it down to cover them. Ceren didn't reply. She just stared at him expressionlessly.
"If you need anything, my room is at the end of the hall, please don't hesitate to ask, please make yourself at your home" he tried to smooth things between them, Ceren didn't reply; her eyes were cold and judging.
"I kept the food in the fridge if you're still hungry, you didn't touch your food at dinner", still with a cold gaze, Nedim felt he wasn't welcomed, and he should excuse himself.
"I think, I should go", he mumbled, finally feeling he had lost another battle with her,
as he closed the door, a loud thunder struck the sky, making Ceren shriek; it was too loud like an explosion; Nedim entered the room again, wanting to make sure she was okay.
"Do you want me to hold you?" he asked hastily, without thinking, just wanted to help. Ceren glanced at him, then turned her head in the opposite direction, Ignoring his question.
Nedim knew she didn't need him or his help; he nodded, and another thunder strike and another one after one; the thunderstorm had started, Ceren could handle the storm inside of her, but mother nature, it was beyond her.
"Yes", Nedim heard her whisper, his gaze landed at her to make sure.
"Yes", She replied again, not looking at him; he didn't need to be told 3rd time; he claimed the bed with her, sat supporting his back to the headboard, Ceren set beside him, his right arm circled around her protectively, she laid her head and hand on his chest, she could hear his loud heartbeats, Nedim was nervous like her.
Ceren lost herself in the simple pleasure of a hug; she had missed that more than she realized. Just huge. Just someone arms around her. a lump rose in her throat. She held it a little tight. Enjoying it 'maybe it was her last time.'
Nedim rubbed her arm with his other hand, soothing and cuddling her more to him, his cheek pressed against the top of her head.
He, too, missed the connection of another human being; having her in his arms and pressed to his chest comforted him, giving him the feeling of peace that he lingered for a long time; he felt her relax. The hold in his T-shirt losing; he glanced down at her; she was sleeping soundly, a smile lighted his face, he still had the same ensures effect on her.
One of the things that made him run; was her; it wasn't just for the baby; it was because he started to have a feeling for her. Somehow, someway it felt so right when it was so wrong, that was dangerous to his heart at that time, but now he didn't have any other place to run to, and he didn't want to.
He kept her in his arms until the morning, feeling grateful and secure. When she woke up in the morning, Nedim had already left for the Vineyard،Ceren didn't have any reason to stay; she left without saying goodbye.
A week later, her lawyer met his; Nedim Lawyer called him, saying she would sign the divorce documents, but had a condition, Ceren wanted to stay with him in his farmhouse for a month. Then she would continue the divorce proceedings.
Nedim smiled and agreed to her condition. Maybe this wasn't the end; after all, perhaps it was the beginning.
Please give your feedback, and I can't guarantee you when the new update will be; I have an exam, and I need to pass it; wish me luck !!
The Farm & the House
1-Nedim's room & Bathroom.
2-the Guest room & Bathe room(Ceren).
Nedim's haircut & Beard.