KHUSHI looked up as though compelled to find Arnav's caramel brown eyes staring back at her. 'Arnav?' She took in his dishevelled appearance-- his hair, a little too long curled at his nape, a few days growth of beard on a gaunt face, mud-streaked clothes and shoes. Her heart lurched when she saw that he had lost some weight. Her face contorted with apprehension as realization hit her with full force.
'Arnav! What are you doing here? Don't you know how dangerous it is here right now?'
His face suffused with anger. This girl would never change. 'What are you doing here?' he retorted. 'Are you rehearsing for your movie here in the middle of nowhere?'
She ignored his jibe. 'Look at how this place is Arnav,' She spread her hand toward the destruction meted out by nature. 'You could have been killed.'
'Stop protecting me Khushi!' He strode up to her. 'I have had enough of women manipulating my emotions in the name of love!'
She didn't know if it was the drizzle or Arnav's words that made her shiver. Arnav had discovered his mother's deception. Tears welled up in her eyes when she thought of the shock and pain he must have had to face. She wasn't even there to console him.
'How did you know I was here?'
'It was very simple really,' he said his tone laced with sarcasm. 'First I thought Shyam had kidnapped you. Then the police told me to get out of their face and ruling this out as a domestic dispute. So I decided to take your letter at face value and went looking for you in Mumbai. Even though your friend assured me you were not there, I still searched for two whole days. Finally, I came here – on a hunch.'
'I ...I am sorry Arnav.'
'As much as I wished I had killed him, I am Thankful to Shyam for his blunder which revealed the truth about mom. Why didn't you tell me Khushi?' He demanded.
'I was going to ---'
He didn't let her finish. 'Then you decided to run!'
Khushi's eyes flashed with anger at his tone. 'Look who's talking? You keep running off to the farm house whenever you are upset.'
'Are you trying to tell me that this is an "eye-for-an-eye"?' Arnav took a few steps toward her, his eyes simmering with a barely controlled temper.
She took a few steps back ward. 'Didn't you also want to do something like that when you first met me eight months ago?'
'You let me go on believing a lie!' He lashed out.
'What was I supposed to do? It had been five long years Arnav! I had moved on. I was all set to marry NK ---'
'You had moved on?' He took a step closer to her, backing her into the tree, 'How?' He raised his eyebrow in a familiar manner. 'By holding onto my tattered t-shirt?'
Khushi's flushed. She had forgotten that bag in a hurry. She stood silently thinking of all the memoirs she had collected over the years. It was something she had started as a child of thirteen and hadn't been able to wean herself off, even as a grown woman.
'I would never have let you marry that moron.' He said arrogantly.
Khushi's eyes flashed with anger. 'NK didn't turn up that day,' She reminded him. 'And that was no thanks to you!'
'So what? You think marriage would have stopped me?'
'Of course not!' She shot back. 'You don't believe in the institution.'
'Do you blame me?' He came up to her and held her arms. 'It did nothing for my parents, my sister, Lavanya -- just to name a few. Would only marriage, prove my love for you?'
'What did you say?' she whispered.
'Why do you think I came running from the US to stop your wedding and marry you?'
'You told me you ....wanted me.' Khushi reminded him of their conversation on their wedding night.
'I was scared Khushi! I was afraid you would break my heart. That is why instead of telling you I thought I would show you. Actions speak louder than words they say. I thought I could keep you with me by giving you all the luxury in the world.'
That was why he had bought her all those expensive gifts – the diamond necklace set, the saree, the dishwasher he had bought so she didn't have to wash dishes and then the join account. 'Oh Arnav, I didn't care for any of those gifts,' Khushi said emphatically. 'What mattered to me was the donation you made to the dance school – for my students.
'It was then that I had decided that I'd rather live with you than marry NK. I went to him and came clean with him, hoping he would call off the wedding.'
'But you decided to go ahead when he didn't! ' He said sardonically.
'I was planning to call it off just before you landed up on the wedding day!' She cried. 'I realized I couldn't go through with it Arnav. Not even for my parents' sake. I loved you too much.'
Arnav's eyes filled with tears even as his face remained stoic. With the slightest of quiver on his lips he said. 'You loved me so much that you left me without saying anything and came here to hide out in this Godforsaken place, putting me through hell these past three weeks!'
Khushi's tears, were being washed away by the rain that had begun to get stronger. 'You think I have been in heaven all this time – without you?' she tried to shrug off his hands but his grip was firm. 'Let me go!'
'NEVER!' He pushed her back against bark of the tree, his eyes blazing. 'I am not letting you go this time!' He released his fingers when he heard her wince. He raked a hand through his wet hair. 'I am sorry but I can't let you go,' he said with a catch in his throat. 'If I did --- I don't think I will survive Khushi. I LOVE YOU!'
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
Khushi's heart clamoured joyously as Arnav's words reverberated all around the woods echoing against the hills and valleys around them. Words, she had been longing to hear from the past five years.
'Why Khushi?' He said stepping back a little. 'How long were you going to continue to protect everyone but yourself?'
'I only care about you Arnav,' she said brokenly.
'I don't need protecting Khushi. You do.' He groaned and put out his arm, pulling her unresisting body against him while she clung, clutching his t-shirt. 'You sweet little fool!'
'It's a terrible story isn't it?'
'The most terrible part is how you were made to suffer. You were so young Khushi – too young. If you had only told me!'
'Please understand,' she implored.
'I don't,' his brown eyes bore into hers. 'I can't believe it.'
'I love you, Arnav,' she exclaimed.
'Why you should, baffles me.'
'Anything that hurts you, hurts me.'
'God,' he said resting his chin on the top of her head. 'You didn't write that monstrosity of a letter either.'
'Forget about it,' she begged.
'I can't believe my own mother would do that to me. A mother who claimed to love me. I spent so long hating you because of that letter. You, the other half of me. By far the better half. My only love.'
'But no one knew that Arnav,' she said sadly. 'You said yourself no one understood what we meant to each other – the compulsive, unquenchable love. You mother considered she was doing the right thing.'
'Right for whom?'
He stepped back and kneeled down on the ground. He looked up at her and took her hand in his. 'Will you just allow me to say, sorry?'
'No.' She shook her head.
'Please.'
The break in his voice affected her violently. She pulled him to stand up and put her arms around his lean figure and hugged him as tightly, as fiercely as she could. Arnav felt his pain in his heart ebbing away little by little. He moved his hands all over her back, the need to feel that she was really in his arms foremost in him mind.
'I am sorry for leaving you like that Arnav,' Khushi whispered looking deep into his eyes. 'I didn't know what to do. I realized my mistake when I got here. I had planned to come back. But then the floods came and the roads got closed.'
'What if I had lost you Khushi?' He said his voice heavy with anguish. 'You know I couldn't have lived without –'
'Don't!'
She went on her tip toes, her hand snaking around his neck as she pressed her lips to his with a an ardour that made them both tremble. The drizzle had turned into a down pour but neither cared, lost in each other as the rest of the world ceased to exist.
When Khushi started shivering uncontrollably, he realized that there were drenched to the bone. He picked her up in his arms ready to take her back into the house.
'What the --?' He swore as he saw two girls standing a little distance away.
'Oh that's Lakshmi and Shanti,' Khushi said emphatically. 'Don't you remember them Arnav? There were the two little girls who told us about the significant of this match making tree when we came here ten years ago.' She pointed to the tree they were standing under.
'This is the same frigging tree?' He looked up with disbelief as the girls started giggling again. 'Unbelievable!' He was still shaking his head as he walked toward the house. They had no chance in hell, did they? It was providence.
Just as they entered the house, Arnav shut the door and pulled her back into his arms.
'Arnav I --' He bent his head and captured her lips pulling her flush against himself. As the warm aroused musky scent of his skin assailed her senses, she responded by digging her own fingers into the sensitive area of his back, her senses thrilling as he responded by raising his hand to her hair, threading them through the wet strands, imprisoning her head so that she had to press even closer to him, forcing her to lift her face as the heat of his body transmitted itself to her.
After what seemed like an eternity he lifted his head. 'Now, tell me what you wanted to say.'
'Uh?' She seemed to have lost her train of thought.
'Khushi,' He had been wondering about this since the moment she had kissed him outside.
'Aren't you worried we might be related?'
'What?' She stepped back in horror. 'Hey Mata Rani!' She put a hand to her mouth. 'I thought you knew. Arnav, the woman in the picture was not my mother! She was –'
'Your aunt,' he finished for her. 'Your mother told us everything.'
Khushi hit his chest in mock anger. 'How could you scare me like this?'
He grabbed her hands and pushed her against the wall. 'You know how scared I was when I couldn't find you at first?'
'I am sorry Arnav --' she began.
'Khushi,' he said looking at her with his caramel brown eyes. 'I meant what I said earlier. You can't leave me like that every time there is a problem.'
'I didn't know what to do when Shyam showed me the photograph!' she said defensively.
'Why didn't you come to me?'
'What was I going to say to you Arnav?' she retorted. 'Should I have come up to you and told you "The woman who destroyed your parents' marriage was my mother. I hope you don't mind.' Her tone was laced with acrimony.
'Amma had not told me anything about the past. Buaji always taunted me about my mother. I thought it was true. And the possibility that we could be –' She couldn't finish the sentence. 'I couldn't face you Arnav.'
He pulled into his arms and regaled the drama that had taken place in her absence. 'I wish I had killed that b@#$%&! I can't believe my mother brought this scum into our lives.'
Khushi placed her hand on his cheek gently. 'Don't!' She pleaded. 'You have to find a way to get past that.'
A window banged shut with a loud noise making Khushi jump. She stepped back from him. 'I have to go shut all the windows and light the lamps. The power lines are down.'
Arnav's face lost its colour when he realized how scared Khushi was of darkness. Khushi put her hand on his shoulder and said, 'Lakshmi's family have been very helpful. They came right away and took me to their home that night. After that, they gave me hurricane lamps, a kerosene stove and provisions to make food. They are used to this weather and generally stock up on provisions in case of emergencies. This is one of the safest places in the world. The people here are innocent to the point of being naïve. Don't worry.'
She brought him a towel and told him to clean himself up while she put together something for him to eat. Arnav looked around to see the house for the first time. There was one bedroom, one bathroom and a kitchen. The entire house would probably fit into the living room of the Raizada House. He stepped inside the bathroom to wash himself.
A little later, he stood at the door of the bedroom watching her towelling her wet hair. His heart began to beat erratically as he watched a drop of water, slide down her creamy back. He walked up to her, wrapping his hands around her tummy and pulled her flush against himself even as his lips claimed the delicate skin at the nape of her neck.
Khushi gasped as her back touched the bare skin of his chest. 'Arnav ---' She turned around and stopped abruptly when she saw him standing in just the towel, his hair damp, his muscled body glistening in the glow of the oil lamp. She stepped back and hit the wall in the tiny bedroom. 'You will be ...cold.'
'You too. So, let's get you out of these wet clothes.' He rasped.
'Hurry!' She said, her own eyes reflecting the hunger in his.
His lips fused with hers, hot and starving. She tasted passion, desire. His tongue stroked and cajoled, sending a sizzling jolt right to her core, so she answered him fire for fire.
He peeled the kurti off her body, skimmed his hands up her narrow rib cage, then cupped her breasts. As her breathing grew heavy, Khushi clutched her hands in his hair and dragged his mouth up to hers. He had wanted to go slow but her lips were wild and desperate. He understood that it was what she needed. He let himself go.
He ripped at her bra, making her eyes go wide with shock and arousal. When his hands moulded her this time, they were greedy and rough.
She moaned when his mouth, hot and moist closed over her breast. His tongue caressed, stabbed. He suckled strongly, wanting to devour her, mark her.
He untied the strings of her pyjama bottom and dragged the material down her smooth legs. The panty was no hindrance as he plunged his fingers inside her. As his thumb began to make swift circles around her nub, her nails dug into his shoulders telling him she had reached her peak. The whimper in her throat turned into a cry that was both a shock and joy.
His breath hissed out, as he watched her rise up and topple over the edge. The dazed look in her eyes brought him a dark pleasure.
He threw his towel aside. As he caught her leg, wrapping it around his waist, Khushi came out of her daze and her eyes widened for a brief second. Then she closed her eyes and leaned back, her finger curled in his hair as she pulled him for a kiss.
As Arnav thrust into her slowly, he found her moist entrance more than ready for him. As he filled her to the hilt, she was gasping, her breath coming in little pants of pleasure.
Arnav began to move, in rhythmic movements fast and slow, deep and hard. Her soft little moans emanating from her throat were driving him crazy. Her nails bit into his back, her breath came in gasps and her eyes clouded with heat.
He lifted her to wrap the other leg also around him and drove deeper, his hand biting into her waist.
Khushi forgot where she was. Who she was. There was only the pleasure coursing through her body, as she threw back her head and indulged herself.
Arnav murmured something incoherent, his hand tightening on her, he thrust fiercely into her. Khushi threw back her head, shuddering with pleasure as she body spiralled out of control, wave after wave shaking her. She stifled her cries as she buried her face against his shoulder. She dropped one leg on the floor, unable to hold herself against him.
He thrust one last time and his body crescendoed like a hot volcano. He felt like his body had turned into lead, as if she had drained his very strength. He placed his forehead on her, struggling to regain his ability to breathe.
A little later, Arnav brought her the food she had prepared a little earlier, wearing his track pants riding low on his hips.
'Khushi?' He sat down beside her, gulping when he saw her bare legs stretched out in front of her, the t-shirt riding high on her thighs. His body hardened at the thought of her wearing nothing but his t-shirt. But he stemmed his thoughts. 'How did you find out about your aunt?'
'Uh?' She had been busy staring at the hair on his chest. He had no idea what it did to her.
He repeated his question as he handed the plate to her.
'Oh.....I found her diary hidden away in the trunk here in this room.' She fed him from her plate.
'What did she write in that?'
'Arnav --' She hesitated. 'Aren't you angry? Even if she was not my mother, she is still my aunt.'
'I am angry alright, but not for the reason you think.' He said his jaw tightening with fury. He told her about his mother's role in the whole fiasco. He said, 'I can understand why dad had fallen for Gauri. She was not only beautiful outside but inside as well.'
A tear trickled down Khushi's cheek as she thought of the aunt she never knew. 'She sacrificed her love and life for the man she loved.'
'You have similar sacrificial traits, like your aunt,' he said wiping her tears. Luckily for me, you are not suicidal like her. You are stronger. I guess you take after your father. He had the courage to wait for his love – unlike mine.'
'Don't be too harsh on your dad Arnav,' Khushi said sadly. 'He did come for her. My aunt firmly refused to marry him and sent him away.'
'So what?' He said emphatically. 'Did that mean he should have agreed to marry --'
'Don't!' She put her fingers on his lips. She couldn't for one second think of a scenario that he didn't exist. Luckily for her, he had turned out like her dad. 'All that matters is that we didn't let go of our love. I have been in love with you for so long, so madly. I can't have anything spoiling it now – not the past, not your mother, not Shyam or anyone else. We are going to be together the way it was meant. I am not going to let you hold on to the wretched past. If I can forgive and forget so can you. We have to start afresh Arnav!'
He laughed a little at her passionate response. She looked beautiful, invincible and passionately alive.
He went up to the knapsack he had brought with him and took out her diary. He opened it and took an old letter that was stuck inside the flap of the cover. 'I know how long you have loved me Khushi.'
I was in the middle of my riyaaz with Naniji when I felt like someone had called my name. When I turned around, there he was--- dressed in black denims, dark grey hooded jacket with a dark blue t-shirt inside and grey-yellow sneakers. Those were the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen I my entire life. Eyes, the colour of caramel.
When I took him some tea the next morning, he looked so anguished that I wanted to take him in my arms, but didn't dare. He had just taken off his t-shirt and it made me feel warm all over. I couldn't even talk properly and so I ran away from there.
Though he was trying to ignore me all through the journey, I don't know why I wanted to go on talking to him. The next day, under the matchmaking tree, when I made that silly comment about the song, he laughed. His stern face had totally transformed, making him look like a little innocent boy. I was so happy that I couldn't help joining in his laughter.
The Valley of Flowers was as beautiful as I had imagined it. It had reminded me of the time I had spent with my own Amma and Babuji. I forgot about Buaji and her cruel taunts for those few wondrous moments. Then it began to rain and I had found his caramel eyes looking at me. My heart began to beat a strange rhythm of dhak-dhak when he walked toward me and I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy.
Now he is gone far away from me and I don't feel that good. Yesterday I had a dream about marrying him under the matchmaking tree! Hey Mata Rani! What is wrong with me?
A wild rose colour had mounted her cheeks and she tried to close her face with her hand. She had torn that page from the diary and hid it inside the flap of the cover.
He moved her hands away and looked deep into her eyes. 'When I first saw you in Dehradun I too was overwhelmed by how exquisite you were Khushi. But I told myself that you were just a child. But at the Valley of Flowers, seeing the joy on your face I couldn't help being drawn toward you. I had forgotten all my troubles in that one instant. My heart always knew that you were my salvation. But happiness had eluded me for so long that I failed to recognize it when it was staring right at my face. I pushed you away. Again and again.'
'It wasn't our time yet.' She whispered.
'It's taken me ten long years to find you once again. I assure you that I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you. I love you Khushi. Forever.'
'I love you too Arnav,' She took a deep shuddering breath. 'I am yours – heart, body and soul. Forever.'
With that promise they came together in rapture as the stars twinkled a little more brightly in the night sky.