The ball hits the ground and the crowds erupt. I jump up off the bleachers, throwing my pompoms in the air and hugging Vixxie next to me. We jump about squealing at the Lions win.
It's been neck in neck all night between us and the other team, we were constantly on the edges of our seats, hearts in our mouths. The outcome being the best team obviously won and everyone's happy about it. The field is ablaze with excitement, the players hugging and politely consoling the losing team with a handshake and nod.
Carrie joins us having abandoned the rest of the cheerleaders and we all jump about giggling and squealing. We hear a camera click and see Emily laughing at our expense, her official photographer lanyard swinging from her neck whilst she captures the win, later to be stored in yearbooks and lockers. We pull her into our celebrations, our circle of four teetering with joy and relife before we scurry off to find the boys.
We wait outside the athletics block by Vixxies car waiting for the boys to finish getting showered and changed. They always stink after games, uniform covered in grass stains and the black paint they apply to their faces before games smudged onto their jaws.
The door flys open and a flash of blonde hair dashes towards me, suddenly I'm swept up and thrown into the air, my feet floating through the atmosphere.
"WE ARE VICTORIOUS," Brady shouts throwing me about like a rag doll, I giggle feeling slightly sick.
"Put her down bro Jesus, you'll break one of her limbs." Ethan says looking disturbed, he gently places me back on the floor and I wobble about feeling dizzy... really dizzy. Until an arm secures itself around my waist keeping me from falling over. I look up and find Blaze smirking down at me, his black hair still wet, dripping onto his forehead on top of the tiny scar he's got above his eyebrow. His eyes are a darker shade of blue and twinkle under the low parking lot lights. His skin looks slightly damp but fully flushed still from the game installing a rejuvenated vibe about him. Football does that too him, you can see it when he plays and for hours after.
"We don't want you to fall on your ass again do we?" He mumbles lowly, I let out an embarrassed giggle.
"You're never going to let me forget that are you?" I sigh pushing my head against his arm to hide my hot cheeks.
"Nope." He says, I feel the vibrations of his low voice travel down his arm, through the black ink that sits on top of his muscles and into my spine, tingling the whole way down.
"Well done. You did amazing out there." I smile back up at him with pink cheeks.
"Oh, I know Blondie." He winks and I slap him on the arm, "I'm joking, thank you. I guess it helps having my own personal cheerleader." He smirks.
"Who said I was cheering for you?" I blush, I totally was but-
"It's all over your face!" His finger lands on the end of my nose making me giggle. It's true, every time Blaze had the ball I'd scream that bit louder so he could hear me, when he got into a scuffle or some guy took him down I'd be on my feet with my heart racing like a speeding car praying he hadn't been injured.
We tune back into the group conversation, Carrie going on about the other team and how we 'beat their asses', the boys nodding agreeably as they discuss what's happening tonight. Most of the group have decided to head to a party on the east side of town but Blaze and I already have plans, we're going to see the lights turn on tonight with his sister and his mom.
I feel the butterflies cascading around my stomach, I don't know why I'm so nervous. Who am I kidding, anything with Blaze makes me nervous but I'm excited.
"Are you guys comi-" Rutherford starts to ask us but is interrupted by a gaggle of boys from the opposing team walking noisily out of the athletics block. Most of them glare at us, muttering to each other, still sore they had their asses handed to them but one holds eye contact with me, scowling at me like he's trying to pick me out of a frigging line up. I grimace back into Blaze's body not identifying who this creep is.
"Grove?" He steps away from the team which carry on to the bus, he looks me up and down. There's something familiar about him but I can't quite pick it out..."Jesus Christ, Atlas Grove?" He exclaims scoffing with a surprised smile... then it clicks, the surname on the jersey and that voice.
"Justin?" I question... both shocked and concerned. He nods sighing happily.
"Fuck, how long has it been? You look great... still short but... wow." He blows out a puff of air and runs a hand through his hair. I don't notice the way his eyes rake over me again, Blazes hand moves further around my waist and pulls me not so subtly back into his front. Consequently adding a growl you wouldn't even notice unless you were this close to him, feeling his heart under his think T-shirt. My cheeks pink even more as my skin pebbles from the feeling of his warm abs on my back.
"It's been years..." I say still apprehensive about where this is going. Justin and I went to school together back in Illinois. We'd known each other for a long time, we'd done dance classes together since we were five and then we actually got into the same dance academy so naturally grew closer. We were really good friends and that means no doubt he would know what had happened... everyone in my town did. My mom, my dad, the adoption, everything.
"Yeah! When they uh... took you I tried to call but Madame said I wouldn't be able to talk to you." He looks slightly pained, Madame was there when I'd been ripped away from my home, she had to talk to my social workers being the head of the academy, "Are you still in ca-" I stop the question before it can come out, nobody here knows I was in care nor adopted and I'd rather keep it that way.
"How'd you end up playing football? I thought you were set on being a principal dancer?"
"So did you and now you're a cheerleader." He chuckles, "You wanted to be just like your mom, I remember her coming to all the recitals and shows... Atlas I'm so so-" My heart wrenches in my chest, my past is hidden and buried so far under I forget that other people know what happened, I can't talk about my momma and it's something that should never be bought to the surface around here.
"Hold on... why are you playing for a team down here?" I quickly interject. He looks awkwardly around the group, " Oh sorry... these are my friends... guys this is my friend Justin... we went to school together back in Illinois." The guys all mumble a nice enough greeting, pushing down their gloating for my sake and Justin congratulates them on the game. He congratulates Blaze my sticking out his hand but Blaze, whos still got his arm wound tightly around me, grunts at Justin, looking past him. I look up at him but he makes no attempt to look back, his jaw clenched and eyes narrowed.
"My dad... made me quit. He was embarrassed at having a ballet dancer for a son. Anyway, he moved us down here with part of his company and made me do tryouts. Surprisingly I made the team." He sighs.
"Oh shit, I'm sorry J, that's harsh." I don't really know what else to say feeling this wave of awkwardness, it's been years since I last saw him and with so much history on my part it's like we're two completely different people... and I suppose we evidently are... Justin looks different to start, he's defiantly matured and playing football's really changed his body from scrawny to athletic. Puberty has been kind to him, gracing him with sculpted cheekbones and passionate green eyes. That's probably why I didn't recognise him to begin with, he looks more manly and less like the boy I used to chase down the halls at the dance academy whilst he taunted me by stealing my pointe shoes. "You played great out their though."
"Hey, Atty! Stop fraternising with the enemy." Rutherford shouts making us all laugh.
The sound of a horn being pressed repetitively from the entrance of the parking lot startles us, forcing our vision to his team's bus, the players still glaring at us from the windows.
"Anyway I better go, here..." he pats his jacket pockets before he pulls out a scrunched piece of paper and clicky pen writing down something then thrusting it into my hand, "My number, text me sometime? Maybe we could dance together again?" He says running backwards towards the bus, he looks over his shoulder one last time and throws me a boyish wink. Something I find oddly foreign and disconcerting. I nod back but scrunch up the paper in my hand with no intent on following through. My past needs to stay my past.
After the girls gushed to me about how hot he was we all went separate ways and I got into Blazes car.
We drive in silence to meet his mom and sister in the town centre. He looks on edge, angry even. His knuckles turn white on the steering wheel and he growls at the stoplights when they turn red.
"Are you okay?" I ask timidly not sure what's changed in the past half hour... we were joking about and-
"Peachy." He says through gritted teeth. He was fine after the game until... Justin.
"Was it Justin?" I sit up accusingly... why's he acting like this about frigging Justin? He says nothing, just chews on his gum, "Have I done something wrong?" He looks up at the ceiling and groans quietly, closing his eyes to breath in then opening them again with a softer quality.
"No Blondie you haven't. Sorry, I'm just being an ass again." His eyes look conflicted, "It was just the way he looked at you... and... I don't know." His jaw tenses again and his hands turn a ghostly white in the wheel. He goes back to sulking... is he jealous. No, he couldn't be jealous, why would he be jealous? "Were you guys ever...You know... did you ever..." holy crap he's jealous?!
"We were just friends... past friends. Why?" I smirk feeling a rush of bubbles enter my stomach... Justin made him jealous... around me?
"He just looked at you... and you looked... it was..." He groans clenching his fists, "I was just worried you were uncomfortable... you looked uncomfortable." He glances out of the window as we stop at another light. I almost giggle at this change of attitude, I didn't look uncomfortable, he was the one who looked like he'd rather be on frigging mars than shake his hand! Blaze can have any girl he wants why would he be so funny about me?
"Look." I place my hand on top of one of his on the wheel and pull the ball of scrunched up paper from my pocket. "Justin is my past and my past for a reason. You guys are my future... I guess." I blush, it's been a long time since I'd felt this happy with people. Blaze gives me a lopsided smile which makes my insides melt. We sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments, Blazes body relaxing back into his seat.
"What happened in Illinois Butterfly?" His gaze intensifies with concern and interest, I quickly remove my hand from his and look down at my lap taken by surprise. My head battles with itself, those very simple words ricocheting off my muscle memory. I want to tell him but I just can't. "It's okay... you don't have to." He looks disappointed but understanding, taking my hand and giving it a small squeeze. I want to tell him everything to show him he's my friend and that I trust him but the words make me want to throw up so I say instead-
"Like I said my past is my past for a reason... It was just a bit of a difficult time before I moved here... it affected my dancing." I smile sadly. He nods but doesn't push me to say any more... like a real friend.
Atlas' face as the lights turned on will forever be engrained in my mind, her flushed cheeks in the cold winters night and her twinkly eyes under the lampost lights. She looks so beautiful. Her blonde hair curtains around the soft contours of her face and her bright smile makes me feel warm. The pink tip of her nose makes me smile as it snuggles into the corner of her jacket.
She's got Gemma on her back chatting away as we walk back down the street towards Ruby's Diner for dinner.
Mom has her arm linked through mine and we're walking just in front of the girls, it's rare she gets evenings off from work so I cherish them when she does. I've always been a mommy's boy... something you'd only know if you really knew me. The respect I have for her is larger than any respect I've shown anything else, she's the one woman in my life I'll always be able to trust because we've been to hell and back, surviving with only a few burns.
"I like her." My mom says her hot breath misting in the air.
"Who?"
"Atlas!" She exclaims her eyebrows pinching like I'm dumb, "I'm not going to lie honey I was worried when you first bough her around... especially with your track record of 'project partners'." She bites on her lip, I don't get angry, she's right. Up until I met Atlas all my project partners had been renamed as fuck buddies and we never got any work done. My mom hates that my bedroom door has become a revolving lobby door. "But she's lovely. A lovely girl Blaze." She smirks with an ulterior motive behind her eyes.
"Jeez, mom we're just friends." I sigh, looking behind at her giggling away with Gemma, her blonde locks flowing delicately in the crisp breeze and her sapphire eyes glassy from the cold but deep with warmth.
"Oh don't give me that bullshit!" She pinches my arm with a suggestive smile, " You're calmer around her, much happier. She brings back this Blaze I haven't seen in you since we moved here." She looks back with me at Atlas, love flowing in her facial expressions, "It's okay to show your feeling Blazey. I know you've been hurt and your trust has been shattered but she won't do that to you."
"How'd you know?" I sigh, my om knows everything, she can read me like a fucking book. Ugh, why am I even talking about this with her! It's irrelevant.
"Because she looks at you the same way... and her eyes... she's had her trust broken too.. you can see it."
"You should get a job as a sodding shrink," I grumble at the shit she's spewing out... but then I think about the way she flinches and her nervousness, the fact she had no friends before us... it would make sense, wouldn't it?
"She'll hate me anyway when she finds out who I really am anyway. She's too innocent and nice mom." I bite back feeling a rush of anger and guilt flood my cold body.
"Who you are is a good boy Blaze. A boy who was misled and got lost." She looks at me with pity which makes me cringe. I bought this upon myself! " A girl as kind as her won't be around forever, my love."She smiles at me sympathetically. I ignore it and look back to where Atlas is now limping slightly, still holding Gemma on her back. This supposed 'dance injury' held out through her cheer routine but even from their field, I could tell she wasn't giving it her all. She was telling me in the car it's still not completely healed but she wouldn't look me in the eye. My mom's looking directly at her ankle too, nurse eyes riddled with concern.
"Gem why don't you walk with mommy for a bit?" I say hoping she'll get off Atlas' back to alleviate some of the weight strain.
"Yeah, I want to hear about your ballet lesson today!" Mom helps me out noticing the pain she's trying to hide. Gem jumps off her back and runs over to her, "Are you alright Atlas love?" She dips her comforting voice.
She smiles but a tinge of pain tints the edge of her face, "Oh I'm fine it's just a dance injury, I think I've just overdone it a bit today."
"Come here." I gesture and stand in front of her," Hold on to my shoulders." I feel her dainty hands graze my shoulders lightly before I grab her thighs and lift her up onto my back, she lets out a little squeal and wraps her arms tighter around my neck, her perfume surrounds me and I can feel her hot breath on the back of my neck, "You good up there?" I can think of many compromising things to do involve her legs around my waist as she squeals but I push them away... these pants not leaving much room for any accidents.
"Yeah... thanks." She rests her chin on my shoulder and we walk along in silence, "It's weird seeing the pavement from so high up."
I chuckle, "That's such a strange thing to say."
We finally reach the Diner and when we walk in the smell of burgers hits me along with the same amount of heat from the grills warming my cold fingers.
The diners pretty busy but that's to be expected at this time of night. Waitresses scurry from table to table holding trays full of food and drinks. Gemma runs over to one of the only free booths, us following close behind her. Once she's wriggled in next to mom I carefully drop Atlas onto the worn-out leather seat, she thanks me and scoots around the seat so I can fit in.
"Do you want me to take a look at that ankle? I'm a nurse." My mom asks Atlas once we've ordered a few burgers and drinks. Her face pales and her eyes widen.
"Honestly, it's fine. It's just a stupid sprain, it was getting better but I think I'm just a bit tired after the game." My mom doesn't push anymore but her eyes linger on Atlas- she doesn't believe her either but decides to ask about something else. I think we've both gathered its not just some 'dance injury'.
"So what are you doing for thanksgiving Atlas?" My mom says placing her coke on the table with a small thud.
She shuffles about slightly and looks down at her feet, "Oh nothing special, we just have lunch with my family." She smiles but it's very distant, lacking emotion of any kind. "What about you? Do you guys do anything special?" She quickly changes the subject sucking from her straw.
"Oh not really, my parents usually come down from New York, spend the week here." She nods and they digress into a conversation about celebrations. I stare at her side profile, she sometimes turns to give me a small smile but I can't get over how beautiful she looks. It'll actually be weird not seeing her over thanksgiving considering we spend almost every day together now. I think about what my mom said earlier but it would be wrong to bring her into my world and I know she's still holding back on something too.
Before her I only talked to Brady, I hated going to school and the hype from the football games died out as soon as I'd gotten changed, when I was plunged into nights of crippling loneliness. Nights that ended up with me getting into trouble or being filled with meaningless sex. However with her, I have a wider friend group, I've opened up more, I enjoy going to school just so I can see her and be around her energy and even after my games her positive energy carries me through until the next game. And when we're not together she sends me texts- just little texts that go back and forth all night.
With Atlas Grove, the world is brighter.
Hey guys! In case any of you missed my post, I've gone back to school this week so I'm starting an update schedule to balance my school work and writing! I'll be updating every Tuesday and Friday! I hope that's okay for everyone, I'm going to try my hardest to keep up and I'll be sure to let you know if a chapters going to be late!
I've got Easter holidays in a few weeks so expect more updates then! :))
I really hope you enjoyed the chapter! I'm so excited for you guys to see what's coming! I've also updated my playlist with a few songs that inspired the next couple chapters ;))
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