ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
── hi so ummm this
is probably rly trashy
but i wanted to get smt
out & writer's block has
not been a vibe AT ALL
so please bear w the likely
mediocre writing i promise
i'll get better someday <3
title is based off: you are
in love by taylor swift! fking
underrated bOP it's amazing
gonna drop the link above
in case yall wanna listen :) ──
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
"𝐋𝐈𝐙! 𝐋𝐈𝐙! 𝐎𝐇 𝐌𝐘 God!"
Liz looked up tiredly, snapping out of her gaze as Ariana waved the script dramatically in front of her face, rolling her eyes fondly at her best friend's dazed expression. It was their first day on set for their second job together, their first ever television show. Liz and Ariana were in their shared dressing room, Liz spacing out as she usually did, much to Ariana's annoyance.
"S-sorry, did you say something?" Liz spluttered lamely as Ariana shook her head, suppressing a smile as she used the script to swat the other girl's forearm. "I was just..."
"Spacing, I know," Ariana finished for her, smiling warmly at her friend, "I know you well enough to know when something's preying on your mind. What is it?"
Liz froze, unsure what to say. Truth be told, it wasn't something that was on her mind but someone. The day she and Ariana had auditioned for Victorious, she remembered meeting a boy. Avan, yes, that was his name. The pair had gone for a chemistry screening after she'd made a good impression on the directors, who then told her about her character's love interest, played by the suave Canadian boy she couldn't get off her mind.
Sure, the two hadn't spoke since then and she'd done chemistry screenings with plenty of other potential people throughout the casting process, she didn't even know if he'd clinched the role. Secretly, for some strange reason, she hoped he did. She hadn't mentioned him to anyone else, never said his name aloud but when she was left with free time, her mind almost always instantly drifted off to him.
He had those chocolate brown eyes that softened when she dared to meet him directly in the eye, they radiated warmth and just felt like home, which was a peculiar thing to say about a stranger she'd met only once. He smiled so warmly at her when she first walked into the casting room to meet him, she wondered if he greeted every stranger with such a pleasant smile. If he did, it must be a nice feeling for anyone who happened to glance his way while walking down the street; to have someone, a complete stranger, smile at you so sweetly.
"You're doing it again!" Ariana groaned in exasperation, causing Liz to snap out of her trance once more as she smiled sheepishly at her friend. "Seriously, what's bugging you? And don't say nothing...because I know you better than that."
"I'm just...I think I need some air," Liz fibbed shyly as Ariana arched an eyebrow, shrugging defeatedly as Liz stood up, walking outside their dressing room. "I just need to be alone for a bit, maybe run my lines on my own," Liz murmured after hearing Ariana's footsteps behind her, grabbing her script off the table as she disappeared out the door, leaving Ariana dumbfounded as she sighed, shaking her head as she wondered what she would do with Liz and her secrecy.
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
Liz wandered the set of Victorious curiously, not having the chance to check out much of the set. She walked up and down the various sets, in a trance of sorts as she imagined what it would be like to call this set her second home. It was so similar and yet so different to what working on Broadway was like, she was thankful that she got to share the experience with Ariana at least.
She'd never been one particularly good with change so having familiar people and things around helped her make the adjustment. Running her fingers gently through her brown hair, her eyes fell on the dyed streaks as she smiled, heart beating out of her chest as she anticipated filming. She'd gotten her hair and make-up done and was now left to wait around till Dan called them all to film.
Curiously, she opened the next closed door she saw after seeing many crew members bustling about, not wanting to get in anyone's way as she stumbled into the set of what was meant to be Hollywood Arts' black box. She smiled to herself, reminded of what it was like to be in her own school's black box before she started acting professionally, remembering how she could spend hours cooped up in the black box and time would fly past without a warning.
She climbed onto the makeshift stage with a small smile on her lips, bringing her knees close to her chest as she rested her chin on her knees, breathing deeply as she closed her eyes for a while, trying to ground herself in reality rather than drift off into wonderland again. She was eerily silent, as was the rest of the room, only able to hear the sound of her own breathing when her head jolted upwards at the sound of footsteps approaching and the door hinges squeaking slightly, revealing a shadowy figure lurking in the doorway.
"Damn...I thought for sure I'd be the only one sneaking away for some peace and quiet."
"Holy shit!" Liz exclaimed in surprise, nearly tumbling off the stage as her eyes fell on the boy lingering in the doorway. "Oh my God...I'm s-so sorry, I really didn't mean to explode at you like that," Liz apologized timidly, feeling so shy all of a sudden as the boy stared at her curiously, daunting brown eyes watching her as she realized just who it was.
"L-Liz...right?" He spoke up hesitantly, waving meekly at her as her lips parted into a smile before she could think twice. "It's A-Avan...from the audition...if you remember me. I mean...you have no reason to but like-"
"Y-yeah," Liz stammered, interrupting him breathlessly as they smiled stupidly at each other, Liz standing up from where she stayed seated as he too walked towards hers, the pair meeting halfway as Liz bit her bottom lip. "I remember you...from the audition, I do," Liz continued, speaking before she could second guess herself as he smiled, happy to have left an impression on the girl who left one on him as well.
"Hi," he whispered softly, lips curling upwards in that signature boyish smile of his as she bit back a smile, nodding her head slightly in his direction. "Guess who's gonna be working together?" He offered with a half-hearted chuckle as she laughed quietly, suppressing a smile as he smirked at her, "come on, Liz...just smile, you know you want to."
"You're not that charming, Avan," Liz teased playfully, rolling her eyes at the boy as he feigned shock, placing his hand on his chest jokingly. "What brings you to seek peace and quiet anyway? If my memory serves, I remember you being quite the chatterbox," Liz joked, teasingly punching his forearm as he shrugged coyly.
"Even a social butterfly likes seeking refuge every now and then," Avan replied smoothly, sitting beside her on the stage as their eyes never left one another, eyes staring intently at one another. Liz swore she could practically see her reflection in those alluring brown eyes of his as she shifted her body to face him, Avan mesmerized by her light eyes. "I never thought I'd see you again."
"Didn't think I could get the role? Real classy," Liz deadpanned as Avan jokingly shoved her, causing the two to collapse in laughter like two elementary school kids on the courtyard.
"Contrary to your belief, I didn't think I'd get the role," Avan corrected cockily, a goofy smirk on his face as she averted her eyes shyly, trying to ignore the lump swelling in her throat. "I knew you were perfect for the role, you're an incredible actor. I was terrified I wouldn't be able to meet the bar you'd set, that they'd find someone better than me to play Beck."
"If it's any consolation, you got the job and no one else did. Plus, if it means anything to you, I thought you were perfect for the role too," Liz admitted timidly as Avan smiled sweetly at her, his eyes watching her so intensely that she forced herself to look up, meeting his eyes boldly as she watched his eyes fall on her lips only for the pair to leap apart when the door flew open.
"Liz! Avan! I see you've met again," Dan called out excitedly as the two, visibly flustered, staggered to their feet, nodding silently as Dan continued to go on about his vision for the show, oblivious to the look they shot each other from opposite sides of the room. Even as the other cast members filed into the room and Ariana dragged Liz away with her as Victoria went over to Avan, their eyes never left each other.
"Liz!" Avan called out before Ariana pulled her out of the set as she smiled weakly at him, using her free hand to wave at him as he grinned at her, eyes never leaving her. It was as though he was too afraid that if his eyes left hers, she'd vanish before his eyes or disappear and he'd never see her again, so even with his breath hitched in his throat, he kept his eyes on her. "Let's hang out later!"
"We should definitely do that," Liz replied as confidently as she could, leaving Avan with a goofy grin on his face that she just happened to miss as Ariana closed the door behind the girls. "What?!" Liz exclaimed, noticing the judgemental look on Ariana's face.
"You are in love," Ariana sing-songed playfully.
"Whatever," Liz scoffed in surprise, "I am not."
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
"Hey, McGillz," he called out huskily, his voice raspy as she rolled her eyes at him, walking out of the lobby and letting the door close behind her as she climbed into his car. "I can tell you're still not a big fan of the nickname," Avan offered with a smirk as she shoved his arm playfully as she climbed into the passenger seat, Avan moving from where he rested against the car's side to climb back inside the driver's seat. "I thought it would have grown on you by now."
"In your dreams, Jogia," Liz retorted dryly, making Avan smirk in amusement.
"Anywhere in particular you'd like to go?" Avan asked as he started up the car, looking over at her, "or are we just gonna pick a random cafe to hit?"
"As long as there's coffee, I'm down," Liz replied with a smile as he nodded adamantly, causing her to beam happily at him as he started down the road, the pair driving in silence with only the hum of the radio filling the air.
Avan's one-time 'let's hang out later' soon became almost a nightly routine for the two actors, who never seemed to be able to leave the other's side. After their first day filming together (it was hard not to become fond of the person you were kissing every other second), the two were almost instantly each other's best friend, with Avan and Liz exchanging texts daily and hanging out together.
Liz snuck out of her shared apartment with Ariana almost every night to see Avan, who would drive over to the two girls' apartment complex to meet her like a lovesick Romeo. Here she was, looking ethereal as ever, like an angel sent straight from heaven, seated just a few feet away from him, her fingers drumming against his dashboard rhythmically. Could this be real? He found himself asking that question every night.
"Coffee at midnight...definitely good for your sleep schedule," Avan taunted, eyes glancing over at the digital clock that showed the time was just about ten past twelve, making Liz lean over to jab him in the ribs playfully.
"You're the one who asked me to come out tonight," Liz retorted sassily, making him chuckle, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as his other hand moved to the buttons of his coat, trying to distract himself by fiddling with the plastic buttons, hoping she wouldn't notice how his hands were starting to tremble.
"You're having fun, don't deny it."
"I never did."
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
"One cup of coffee, black with two sugars," Avan called out, causing Liz to snap out of her daze once more as she kicked open the driver's door to let Avan back in, making him smile as he handed her the drink. "Interesting how they let us slip your coffee order into your character, eh?" Avan commented casually as Liz nodded shyly, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Makes Jade feel more...authentic, I guess...for her to have things she likes," Liz quipped thoughtfully as Avan smiled, acknowledging her input with a nod.
"Anddd plenty of things she doesn't like," Avan added with a chuckle, "boy am I glad you're nowhere near as fussy as her, McGillz...except of course, when it comes to nicknames."
"That's just because you suck at coming up with them," Liz retorted playfully before noticing the way Avan's eyes lingered on the sunroof, "what're you looking at, Jogia?"
"Recline your seat," Avan suggested as Liz did as he told, curious to see what he was referring to as Avan too reclined his seat, sitting up slowly to roll the sunroof of his car back, revealing the sparkling sky, the luminescent starlight drawing her eyes heaven-bound, the midnight starlight singing of the ethereal aspect of the world they lived in, the stars a chorus of melodies, each a perfect note in the jet-black sky.
"Look up, Gillies," he murmured gently as she tilted her head upwards to admire the blanket of stars that seemed to cover the two. The darker the night was, the truly the more the stars stood out. Even with the ever-flashing fluorescent lights that flashed out of the corner of Liz's eyes, she could still make out the gentle, natural twinkling of the stars over her head.
"I could never get sick of this view," Avan piped up absentmindedly, turning over on his side to face her as she felt her cheeks heating up as she sheepishly wondered exactly what view he was referring to. "To think...these stars have seen over centuries...over millennia of beautiful things," Avan added softly as Liz nodded, mesmerized by the view.
"Stars are so insanely...beautiful," Liz whispered in awe, "if only there was a more...eloquent word that was capable of encapsulating their beauty."
"Well, sometimes...there are some things that you just can't verbalize," Avan offered, "you just have to experience them - like stargazing." She fell silent at his words, taking the time to fully absorb the beauty the stars radiated as Avan admired the girl seated beside him, the lights reflecting off the silver necklace Liz wore around her neck as he smiled to himself, wondering if she knew how beautiful she was to him.
As she reached over to grab her coffee that she'd placed in the cup holder in the middle, he seemed to have the same thought as their shoulders brushed momentarily, making both of them leap apart at the sudden contact as they smiled bashfully at each other.
There was no proof in that moment, nothing said but perhaps that was the beauty of it all. To anyone else, it could've just been any normal Saturday but between the two, they knew there was something there. Nothing had to be said but they both knew. They just knew.
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
After they'd downed their coffees, Avan knew it was the time he dreaded the most; having to part ways with the girl he was so drawn to. Avan drove her back to her apartment place in silence, hoping that the eerie silence wouldn't give away the way his heart was practically pounding out of his chest.
Little did Avan know, Liz felt the same way. After the way their shoulders touched for those few fleeting seconds, Liz was mortified to admit but her heart hadn't stopped racing since then. All the words that were left unsaid hung over the two in a deathly silence that in its own way, spoke volumes.
"Thanks for tonight, Av," Liz said softly just as they neared her and Ariana's apartment, "I really enjoyed myself. Thank you for driving out to see me."
"You know...you don't have to thank me every time I do this, Gillies...I don't do this just for the accolades," Avan replied flippantly as she felt the heat rising to her cheeks once more, hoping that darkness was her ally and would cloak her flushing cheeks. "I would do a lot more than just drive a few miles to see you, Liz," Avan whispered quietly, his quiet declaration not going unnoticed by the flustered girl, who could do nothing except smile timidly at him.
"Good night, Avan," Liz murmured under her breath, barely able to speak as her throat had gone dry, about to take her leave when Avan reached out for her, hands gripping her shoulders as she flinched slightly, turning around to face him to find Avan's seatbelt unbuckled as he leaned over the centre, face just inches away from hers. "A-Avan, what're you-"
She was cut off swiftly by the feeling of Avan's soft lips on hers. It wasn't like she'd never felt his lips on hers before, the two did play a couple on screen but this, this was different. Avan no longer needed to hide behind Beck Oliver nor she behind Jade West, this was Avan Jogia acting out of his own will. He wanted to kiss her, he was kissing her.
"I'm s-so sorry," Avan spluttered in shock when he realized that he'd let his emotions overwhelm him, "I really shouldn't have done that."
"It's okay," Liz assured him breathily, her lips curling upwards in a shy smile, "I...I really liked that." Hearing what she said, Avan took that as a sign to lean in once more as Liz's fingers groped for the door handle, closing the door behind her as she settled back down into the passenger's seat, Avan's fingers tangled up in her hair as she kissed him gently.
"D-do you," Avan murmured between kisses, "w-wanna go back to my place?"
"Think you can keep it in your pants that long, Jogia?"
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
The next morning, Liz woke up in an unfamiliar bed, awoken suddenly by the smell of something burning wafting through the air. She pulled the covers off her, noticing how her clothes were discarded messily on the floor as she blushed, eyes wandering around the room as they fell on a bedside picture of Avan and his family, instantly reminding her of the previous night's events as she blushed profusely.
She was still wearing one of his shirts, one that he'd slipped over her just before they went to bed. She stared at her reflection in the full-length mirror Avan had in his bedroom, slightly embarrassed by her messy hair but she still smiled to herself, liking the way Avan's shirt hung loosely off her.
Though last night had certainly blurred the lines for the two who'd never thought the other was romantically interested in them, Liz wouldn't have traded the last night for anything else. It felt so right to be with Avan, it felt like the stars aligned and everything finally made sense for them. It felt just right to be in Avan's arms, have his hands all over her and be able to call his name knowing he would call hers in return.
"Hey, Av? Did you burn something?" Liz called out mid-yawn, stretching her arms over her head as she staggered sleepily into the kitchen to find Avan scampering around like a headless chicken. "Av? Are you alright?" She asked worriedly as Avan turned around, gaze softening when he met her eyes just as he dumped the burnt toast into the trash bin.
"I...uh...I was gonna make you breakfast because you were still sleeping...but I...I might've fucked up," Avan stammered sheepishly as she smiled sweetly at him, walking towards him as she draped her arms around him tiredly, much to Avan's pleasure as he gently snaked his arms around her waist. "Morning, Gillies."
"About last night..." Liz murmured shyly, chin still resting against his upper body as he nodded hesitantly, unsure what was about to happen.
"I...I like you, Liz...a lot," Avan quickly blurted before he could second-guess himself, his simple confession making her blush as she tightened her grip around him, wondering if she could pull him any closer to her. "I don't want...what happened last night to just be some one-time thing. O-of course, that's only if you want it to be more than just a one-time thing. Look, you're amazing and I totally get if you have someone else you've got your eyes on! You're incredible and I-"
"Avan?" Liz interrupted softly as he realized he was rambling, quickly cutting himself off as he bit his lip nervously, "just shut up for a bit, okay?" Without another word, she tiptoed slightly to kiss his lips lovingly as Avan immediately kissed back, pulling her closer to him. "I like you a lot too, I just...it's s-stupid but like...I'm kinda...scared." It felt so right to kiss him, it felt good but she wasn't sure how long it would last.
"I promise...I won't hurt you, Liz."
"D-don't make promises you can't keep," Liz whispered painfully, backing away from him suddenly as he stared at her in confusion, wondering why she'd recoiled. She was reminded of all the times someone would promise her something, she would keep her hopes up only to be crushed in the end. The fears that stayed with her, the ghosts of all the people she once knew haunted her still and as much as she knew it was unfair of her to tie Avan to all of them, she couldn't help it.
"How about this?" Avan offered gently, "take my word for it. I promise that we're going to try to make things work...I'm going to try with my everything. I can promise you that."
Let go, a small voice in her head whispered, let go of your fears and your ghosts. Avan's not going to be like everyone else. He could be but you'll never know if he actually is unless you give him a chance. She lingered a few feet away from him as Avan extended his hand to her, Liz pausing for a few moments before taking a tentative step forward, gently taking Avan's hand in hers.
They said nothing but that was everything that needed to be said. She kept his shirt, he kept his word. It was a single step forward, a small one, yes, but it said just enough.
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚
Liz wasn't the only one who went into their new relationship flooded with insecurities. Every time they happened to argue, Avan wondered if they were worth the strain it caused to their friendship. He cared about her, the idea of losing her in any way terrified him. They fought but they, eventually, always made up with quiet talk and kisses. Every time they threatened to spiral over the edge, Avan couldn't help but fear they would never make it back.
All this ran through his mind as he lay in bed, Liz curled up on his chest fast asleep. He thought about everything that happened between them; their first time, how he was the one to ask her to make things work and here he was, panicking when everything was going just fine. He thought about how nice it felt to walk down the sidewalk with her in the middle of the night with the hoods of their coats up, hiding them from any prying eyes.
He smiled, thinking about the dinner they'd had just hours ago and how she kissed him under the street light, leaving him breathless on the sidewalk. He thought about how Liz basically lived with him, staying over every other night because like she was his safe place, he was hers. It pained him, to say the least, to think about the possibility of losing her. Sure, everything was going perfectly but he was terrified of when his luck would run out.
He sat up slowly, trying his best not to wake the sleeping girl on his chest, gently transferring her head onto his lap instead as he sighed to himself, leaning against the headboard of the bed as he struggled to clear his mind. He shifted awkwardly on the bed, wondering why this was gnawing away at him so badly.
"Baby?" Liz murmured sleepily, Avan snapping out of his trance as he looked down. The dim light seeping through the slight parting in the curtains reflected off Liz's light eyes, making him well-aware of the look of concern she wore as she gazed lovingly at him. "Are you okay?" Liz asked quietly as Avan nodded hesitantly, which Liz knew better than to trust as she sat up slowly, crawling into his lap as she pressed soft, reassuring kisses on his cheek.
"Y-you're..my best friend, you know that, right?" Avan spoke up tentatively as Liz nodded slowly, nuzzling her head up against the crook of his neck. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the weird look on his face, which worried her slightly. "I don't mean it...l-like in a f-friend zone way but like...ugh!" He grunted in frustration when he couldn't put his emotions into words, his shoulders tensing as Liz sat up slowly, snaking her legs around his waist as she started to massage his shoulders.
"I...I know what you mean," Liz replied gently, the tip of her nose touching his as he smiled sheepishly at her.
"You do?"
"I'm in love with you too, Avan."
ཻུ♡ ⋆ ༉‧₊˚