A/N: I'm attempting to balance chapters with "action" against the chapters that are more exploration of feelings/relationship development. We'll continue to fill in missing scenes around canon episodes.
And of course, it wouldn't be Trek with the subplots! The next few chapters are going to focus a bit on Data/Geordi friendship and Tasha/Worf friendship.
The Starfleet Regulation mentioned in this is an actual canon regulation known as the "Interspecies Protocol." Crazy , eh?
Thank you so much for your support as we continue this story! If you enjoy my work, feel free to like and follow @TheTartanTart on Twitter and Facebook.
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"We'll maintain our heading for the time being. Starfleet has ordered us to transport a group of colonists to the Strnad system. The Captain will have more information about our next mission tomorrow," Commander Riker stated as he explained their latest orders from Starfleet.
The senior officers of the Enterprise, sans Captain Picard, were seated around the long table in the Observation Lounge. Commander Riker had been in command of the Enterprise since the previous night.
"How is the Captain?" Geordi asked.
It was a question that had weighed heavily on the minds of the crew.
"He will resume command tomorrow," Commander Riker explained.
"I've scheduled a short session with all of you today," Counsellor Troi stated. "I think it is important that each of you have the opportunity to discuss what happened yesterday. You'll find your time on your schedule."
The encounter with the Entity had left its mark on all of them. For both Tasha and Captain Picard, the mark had been both physical and mental.
Data checked his PADD as he had not yet seen a scheduled appointment. But in fairness, he had not checked his PADD since the night before at 22:40.
Although his typical routine involved memorising the entirety of the Enterprise schedule first thing in the morning, Data had been otherwise preoccupied this morning.
He caught Tasha's eyes briefly. She knew exactly what he'd been thinking about.
"Counsellor, when is my appointment?" Data asked as he scanned through his PADD.
Commander Riker and Deanna exchanged a glance.
"I'm sorry. I didn't schedule one for you, Data," Deanna said.
She couldn't explain it, but she was picking up on a crestfallen feeling coming from Data.
"Would you like to talk today, Data?" Deanna asked.
"Yes please, Counsellor," Data replied.
Deanna smiled.
"Of course, Data. I'll put you on the schedule for today," Deanna said.
"Thank you, Counsellor," Data responded as his eyes lit up.
"And I'll see you for your follow up exam at 09:00 hours," Doctor Crusher said to Tasha.
"Lieutenant Yar, why don't you go now and get it out of the way? I'll keep Ensign Tuttle at Tactical until your return," Riker suggested.
Tasha nodded and followed Doctor Crusher to Sickbay.
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"Tasha? Tasha?" Doctor Crusher prompted.
Tasha snapped out of her thoughts and back to the present. She didn't realise she had drifted off.
"Sorry, what was the question?" Tasha asked.
"I said maybe I should have kept you last night for observation," Doctor Crusher replied.
She ran her medical tricorder over Tasha's head again and examined the readings.
"Are you having trouble concentrating? You had a small concussion, but I'm wondering if there was more trauma from the Entity than we initially realised," Beverly said.
She glanced at the screen where her scanners were reading Tasha's brain activity.
"Based on what happened yesterday, I'd say this distraction was mental. Which is not uncommon, given what occurred. But these readings don't indicate any kind of negative emotional response. You seem very relaxed, content," Doctor Crusher said she observed the readings.
"I'm fine, Doc," Tasha assured her.
"Alright then, let's start the exam. I'll ask you some routine questions and then I'd like to discuss a few other things," Beverly stated as she grabbed her PADD.
Tasha nodded in acknowledgement.
"Have you sustained any recent injuries, illnesses, or pain since your last exam?" Beverly asked her.
"Well, I got thrown into a wall by an energy Entity. And I happened to be on top of the transporter console when it exploded," Tasha said with a grin.
Beverly smiled at her.
"At least you haven't lost your sense of humour. In the last twenty-four hours have you consumed any food or drink?" Beverly asked as she continued down the Starfleet standard questionnaire.
Tasha paused. Doctor Crusher had advised her against drinking anything following her injuries – but then Data had turned up next to her with a bottle of real whiskey.
"Since the last time I was here? Ugh – I had some whiskey last night. Just a few glasses," Tasha said as she noticed the look of disapproval from Beverly.
"Anything this morning?" Beverly asked her.
"Yeah, some yogurt and tea," Tasha replied.
"Tasha, may I ask why you drank last night?" Doctor Crusher said as she looked at her friend with concern.
Tasha shook her head.
"It's not what you think. It wasn't because of what happened yesterday. I felt great last night, more relaxed than I have in ages," Tasha explained.
"It was against my better judgement that I let you go last night. That said, I haven't seen you this at ease in a long time," Beverly said as she noted Tasha's file with readings.
"It was a relaxing evening. I am just glad the business with the Antican and Selay delegations is finished," Tasha replied.
It was partially true. The relief of having both delegations off the ship had felt like a huge weight had been lifted from Tasha's shoulders. And speaking of shoulders, Data's hands rubbing the knots out of them had played a big part in easing the tension of the last few days.
She'd woken up that morning feeling better than she had in ages – delighted, rested, and quite comfortable in Data's bed. It wasn't just the bed though, it was the arms, the feeling of being wanted, his artificial breath on the back of her neck, and the hands.
His damn hands. Momentarily, she allowed her mind to wander.
"Tasha? Hello?" Doctor Crusher said, pulling her back to reality.
"I am so sorry," Tasha said as she realised she hadn't been paying attention.
"Must have been some evening," Beverly teased.
"It was," Tasha replied in a dreamy voice that was most unlike her.
"Any changes in your hearing or vision in the last 30 days?" Beverly asked her.
"No," Tasha answered.
"Have you engaged in sexual activity in the last 24 hours and if so when?" Beverly asked her.
"About three hours ago before the briefing," Tasha answered honestly before adding, "And last night."
If she was fazed by the comment, Doctor Crusher did not indicate as such. She simply noted the information and moved on to the next part of their exam.
"Well, that's as good of a spot as any to move into why I scheduled this exam. You are no doubt aware of Starfleet protocol on intimate relationships," Beverly said.
Tasha started to respond but Doctor Crusher put her hand out.
"Ah – it's OK. It's the most commonly broken regulation. I only bring it up because as your doctor I'm required to," Beverly explained.
"Doctor, I don't know what you think is going on, but I can assure you that it's not what it seems," Tasha said.
"Tasha, all Starfleet personnel are supposed to obtain authorisation from their commanding officer in addition to clearance from their medical officer before initiating an intimate relationship with an alien species," Beverly explained.
"But Doctor, I haven't-" Tasha didn't finish the sentence.
"I know about Data," Beverly said in a low voice as she put her hand on Tasha's shoulder. "It's ok. You don't have to feel embarrassed."
Tasha felt a flash of anger.
"I'm not embarrassed," she replied emphatically, meeting Doctor Crusher's eyes. "I don't see any reason why I would feel embarrassment. He's a great person and a highly decorated Starfleet officer."
"I apologise, Tasha. I didn't mean to imply that you were embarrassed about your partner. I meant that sometimes people feel embarrassed about speaking with their Doctor about sex," Beverly explained.
Tasha breathed deeply and paused before continuing.
"Sorry, doc. Thank you. He felt bad after his medical questionnaire. He suspected you'd piece it together," Tasha added.
"Well, I must admit that was certainly the first clue. I stopped by your quarters last night to check on you and when you didn't answer I was worried something had happened. So, I asked the computer for your location. When I learned you were in Commander Data's quarters, I didn't want to disturb you," Beverly answered.
There was a moment of silence. Tasha knew sooner or later something like that was bound to happen. The Enterprise was a big ship, but for the senior officers it wasn't big enough. The line between their personal and professional lives was murky. It was impossible to keep relationships a secret for long.
"I'm not embarrassed. Besides, Captain Picard is already aware," Tasha explained.
"Then why haven't you come to me?" Beverly questioned.
"Data's not an alien," Tasha shrugged.
"He's not a human," Beverly countered.
Tasha cocked her head to the side as if she were struggling to find the right words.
"He's got a pulse, Beverly. He breathes. He feels," Tasha said brightly as her eyes lit up. "When he moves you can feel the muscle under his skin. Yes, it's made of tripolymer rather than tissue, but it serves the same function."
"Commander Data is a machine. A marvellous, amazing lifeform. But he's still a machine," Beverly replied.
"We're all machines, Doctor," Tasha said in response.
"I'm not judging you, Tasha. I think Data is a very sweet person and I'm happy for you. But, as your doctor, I need to be sure that this is safe for both you and Mr Data," Beverly explained.
She noted that Tasha didn't look convinced.
"Would you feel more comfortable if we spoke in my office?" Doctor Crusher asked.
"I'm not embarrassed," Tasha reasserted.
"I don't mean to be indelicate, but-" Beverly paused.
She didn't want to offend Tasha, but she also didn't want to dance around the issue. As a physician, having uncomfortable conversations was a part of the job. Summoning her professional courage, Beverly decided to be frank.
"You're sexually active with the only sentient android in the universe, Tasha. You're swapping fluids with someone that is not a human. Does he even have saliva? Seminal fluid? If so, how do you know if they're safe?" Doctor Crusher asked.
"Yes, he does. And it's perfectly safe," Tasha replied.
"But you can't know that until we determine it is," Doctor Crusher insisted.
"No, I can," Tasha said as she stared at Doctor Crusher.
Tasha explained to Doctor Crusher that when she first learned that she would be responsible for the security of the Enterprise, she set about understanding each of the crew. This included studying all available information on Lieutenant Commander Data.
When she had first read his files, she recognised his potential. Not only was he a highly intelligent officer his physical strength and abilities meant he could be a great aid, and possible threat, to the Enterprise. Tasha spent hours pouring through his specifications in an effort to understand how he operated and, if necessary, how to detain or deactivate him.
But Tasha also gained a great respect for his abilities as a Starfleet officer. He was one of Starfleet's most highly decorated officers – both the Medal and Legion of Honour, the Star Cross, the Starfleet Commendation for Gallantry, the Decoration for Valour, and the Distinguished Service Order just to name a few. They were awards for courage, service, and duty.
When she had first flipped through his record, she wondered how it was possible that he had no command of his own.
But aside from the big picture aspect of the Lieutenant Commander, she had studied every inch of his physical construction. She knew he had an inorganic water-based fluid that consisted of mineral salts and proteins that served to help lubricate some of his internal systems and acted as a medium for ion exchange in conjunction with his automated decontamination programming.
"So, you see he has inorganic but entirely harmless biofluids," Tasha explained.
Doctor Crusher stood agape.
She wasn't mad at Tasha. She was disappointed in herself. When Beverly had first taken her assignment aboard the Enterprise, she had been informed by the previous medical officer that Data, as an android, had no need for medical attention.
Although he was occasionally subjected to required routine medical exams, these were always done at the most basic level. Doctor Crusher would scan him and be done with it. Until the other day, she'd largely only ever been able to scan his brain functioning but not much else.
"Tasha, that's fascinating," Beverly admitted. "I had no idea. This information isn't contained in his medical records."
"Exactly, it's in a security file only," Tasha responded.
Tasha paused before continuing.
"When he was first discovered he wasn't always treated as a person, Doctor," Tasha added darkly. "It meant a lot that you offered to do the full exam for him too."
Beverly thought back to Data's discomfort the other day before Tasha had arrived. It made perfect sense. If he'd been treated poorly by medical or science officers in the past, then it would only track that he would feel uncomfortable in a similar setting. Memories of bad doctors could haunt patients for life.
"Well, in that case I am glad he will be speaking with Counsellor Troi later," Beverly said.
"I'll add too, that he has own sexual history aside from me. I'm hardly the first person, Doctor and you won't find that in his Starfleet records," Tasha stated much to Beverly's surprise.
Doctor Crusher unhooked the scanners that had been reading her brainwaves and sat down on the bed across from Tasha.
"I have to ask then, Tasha, it's been almost six months since your last contraceptive injection expired," Beverly said.
"There's no possibility of that, Doctor. But as it's expired, I suppose we should get it taken care of. Better safe than sorry," Tasha stated.
One of the first things Tasha had been thankful for after joining Starfleet was the availability and ease of accessing contraceptives. They were rare on Turkana and at 15 Tasha had been thankful to escape without a child.
She wasn't opposed to having children.
Someday.
A long, long time from now.
Tasha had served the role of parent at an early age. Her younger sister, Ishara, had been more than a handful. Raising a child on a Turkana would be enough to scare anyone out of parenthood.
And raising a child like Ishara on Turkana had been a nightmare.
For many years, the thought of parenthood had been a frightening one. However, during her relationship with Alfie, the idea had slipped back into her mind.
She was now comfortable with the thought that perhaps someday a family may be in the cards. But she also recognised that would have a long Starfleet career ahead of her first. Tasha wanted a career. In part because she enjoyed her role as Chief Security officer and the challenge it presented. At the same time, she felt a duty to serve the organisation that had rescued her (and so many others).
After her injection was done, Doctor Crusher had released Tasha for duty on the condition that she report anything strange or unusual should it arise. She made a mental note to speak with Captain Picard about releasing Data's full physical specifications so she could review them and add them to his medical logs.
It was clear there was a lot she didn't know about her android crewmate. Furthermore, if he were suddenly experiencing sensations like taste it was possible there could be medical information that would prove valuable in the future.
"And Tasha, I'm really happy for you," Beverly said as she caught her on the way out of sick bay.
Tasha beamed.
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Deanna was seated in her office reviewing her notes on the situation with the Entity when her door chimed. Hopping up from her favourite chair, she went to the door to greet her next appointment.
"Come in, Captain," she said as she guided Captain Picard inside.
"Thank you, Counsellor," he replied.
She could sense he already had his walls up.
Professional to a tee, he wasn't about to drop his formal Captain act despite the unease that weighed heavily on his mind. Deanna understood Captain Picard well. He was a man that projected leadership and pragmatism at every turn.
"Would you care for some tea?" Deanna asked as she indicated to the replicator.
"No thank you, Counsellor. I would like to get this over with," Picard stated.
Deanna had anticipated this response.
"Of course. Where would you like to start?" Deanna said as she slipped into her favourite chair.
"I think it is rather straightforward. I was overtaken by an alien entity for which I feel a range of sentiments. Guilt, for one, due to the position I put all of you and the harm that I caused to four of my crewmembers. I am embarrassed that I allowed myself to be tempted by the Entity's offer," Picard sighed. "And I suppose I'm a bit lucky. I was fortunate you were able to sense my plea for help."
Deanna nodded in understanding but did not respond. She wanted him to continue. In her time serving with the Captain, she had found his monologues to be a quite insightful tool into understanding his personality.
"Now while I know that the alien influence means I was unable to control what happened, I will never fully reconcile with myself what I have done. But I am ready to return to my duties and I understand this situation will weigh on my mind for some time to come," Picard went on.
"I think that you've thought a lot about this in the last 12 hours and I appreciate your honesty," Deanna said.
"But..." Picard prompted as he recognised the tell-tale sign that Deanna was about to probe deeper.
"But I sense something else in there too," Deanna explained.
"As I said, I am feeling many things about what happened, Counsellor," Picard said.
"And it is important that we identify all of those different emotions so that we can process them," Deanna said.
"I assure you that I am fine, Counsellor," Picard said.
"Captain, I am sensing anger from you," Deanna shared.
She had hoped he would identify that on his own. Since he hadn't, she decided a prompt was necessary.
"I suppose I am angry for allowing myself to be tempted by this Entity," Picard responded as he contemplated her words.
"I think that is part of what you are feeling but I don't think that is the source of your anger," she said as she tried to separate the various feelings that were emanating from his mind.
Picard didn't respond immediately. He turned his gaze downward as he allowed himself to explore his feelings. Deanna was right, there was anger suppressed deep within him.
It was something he'd kept locked away in the deepest recesses of his soul.
He sighed and turned his gaze back to the Counsellor.
"You are correct, Counsellor. But I fear we do not have the luxury of time to address that issue today," Picard said, attempting to explain the situation.
"We still have forty-seven minutes," Deanna reminded him.
"I fear that this could take a lifetime, Counsellor," Picard said in an effort to redirect the conversation.
"I'm not letting you off the hook on this one, Captain," Deanna pressed.
She had sensed this feeling from him many times before. But in the last twelve hours it was as if the feeling had been amplified by the encounter with the entity. During her time as Counsellor, she had worked to chip away at the Captain's defences. Now, she decided it was the right time to press the attack.
"This incident with the Entity has brought this to the surface. What is it, Captain?" Deanna said gently.
She could feel a duality within him. Part of the Captain longed to disclose whatever it was causing this anger. He wanted relief. Another part of him was hesitant and afraid. In addition, she could pick up that the Captain also felt a little curious about what the consequences of disclosure would be.
"For a number of reasons, what I am feeling is best left unsaid," Picard said.
She didn't respond. She could sense he was on the cusp of opening up.
"As you know, I have never married or had children of my own. In many ways, the crew are my family, and a Captain is a father-like figure. I have a responsibility to my crew, and I care very much about all of you. My actions put every one of you in jeopardy. Beyond that, I hurt people that I care about," Picard said.
He looked away briefly to collect his thoughts.
Captain Picard felt horrible for the position in which he'd placed his crew. Commander Riker had been forced to make an awful choice of leaving him behind. It was a First Officer's duty – but Captain Picard couldn't help but feel guilty for putting Riker in that position. The weight of that choice would remain on Riker's soul forever.
He could have killed Tasha.
A part of him would never forgive himself for what he'd done.
Although she should have waited for backup, he knew she sprung into action because of their longstanding friendship. In some ways, he regarded her as not just a daughter but a protégé. She had great potential and reminded him of a certain young Jean-Luc Picard in many ways.
But mostly he felt anger because of the situation with Beverly.
Jean-Luc adored everything about that woman. There was no one else capable of causing the same level of fascination and frustration in him. They had danced around their mutual attraction for years – unable to get close yet unable to let go.
It wasn't just the regulations of their respective roles that kept them apart. It was the politics of Starfleet. There was also Wesley to consider.
And there had always been the memory of Jack hanging between them, an unspoken barrier.
"This encounter has been a stark reminder that I have been unable to tell those I love just how deeply I care," Picard said simply.
Deanna listened intently.
"And I am afraid, Counsellor," Picard said, "that is where we will have to leave it for today."
Deanna made a face of disapproval.
"We have thirty-six minutes left, Captain," she said, reminding him of the time.
"Then what would you like to talk about aside from this subject?" Picard asked.
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Deanna's door chimed and she realised it was time for her next session.
"Oh? So soon," Picard said with a small smile.
As a compromise, they'd agreed to meditate for the remaining time of his session.
"Thank you, Counsellor," Picard said in earnest as he made his way for the door.
Deanna nodded in response and wished him well. She sincerely hoped the remainder of his day would be restful.
As the door slid open, Picard found himself face to face with Data.
"It is good to see you, Captain," Data said in his typical genial manner. "I hope you are well."
"Thank you, Data," the Captain said with a short nod.
"Are you recovered from the incident?" Data asked.
"I am well, thank you," Picard replied in a short, but polite manner.
He wanted to be alone at the moment. It was so rare that he took time off. However, he knew that Data was genuinely interested in his well-being, so he decided to indulge the android with more than just quick brush off.
"I will be taking some time for myself today," Picard explained. "But I do look forward to seeing you tomorrow evening for chess."
"Of course, Sir. Although, I must admit that I have yet to complete my reading of Bleak House but would be willing to discuss the first thirty-nine chapters," Data said.
"You are capable of analysing thousands of words per minute, Mr Data. Have you not enjoyed the selection?" Picard asked out of concern.
Data was capable of reading complete books in a matter of minutes. He'd never known Data to not finish a book they were scheduled to discuss.
"The selection is fine, Sir," Data assured him.
It took Data 0.24 seconds to determine his explanation was not sufficient to satisfy the Captain's inquiry.
"Lieutenant Yar is reading the book to me," Data explained. "I have found that in having someone narrate I am able to better grasp the nuances of human speech and behaviour."
Captain Picard smiled.
"That's fascinating, Data," he replied, and he meant it. "I look forward to our meeting tomorrow."
"As do I, Sir," Data said with his customary nod before entering Deanna's office for his session.
Although counselling was a service offered to all Starfleet officers and their families, Data had never before partaken in it. However, in his relationship with Tasha, he had learned how much counselling had benefited her and felt that it would be a good move for his own personal development.
"Hello, Data," Counsellor Troi said as she greeted him and indicated that he should take a seat across from her.
"Hello, Counsellor Troi," Data said as he sat down.
"Since this is your first session, I'd like to cover some basics before we begin," Counsellor Troi explained. "We have one hour to talk. If at any point you feel uncomfortable, please say so. You do not have to reveal any information you do not wish to share but please know that everything said in these sessions is confidential. Furthermore, you may end the session early at any point if you feel that is necessary."
"I understand, thank you," Data replied in acknowledgement of the process.
"So, I'd like to start by asking you what prompted you to seek counselling? Has anything changed recently?" Deanna questioned.
Although this was a routine question for a first counselling session, Deanna had also sensed a change in Data. For the last few weeks, she had been struck by emotions coming off him from time to time. It wasn't the same frequency as humans. And it wasn't all the time.
But there were moments that Data had a distinct, strong emotional output.
"Thirty-nine days ago, I began to experience what I can only describe as a change in my neural net. I seem to possess an emotional awareness that I have been previously incapable of experiencing. In that time, I have come to experience additional, new sensations including an understanding of taste and a desire to shut down or rest at times," Data explained.
"You have wanted to experience emotion for a long time, yes?" Counsellor Troi asked.
Although she was unsure how it was possible, she was sensing that Data felt conflicted.
"Yes, Counsellor. However, I believe I am experiencing both excitement and fear simultaneously. While I am intrigued by this newfound emotional awareness, the knowledge that I am unable to explain its origin has left me uncomfortable," Data said in an effort to explain his confusion.
"Do you think this is some undiscovered part of your programming?" Deanna asked.
"I am unsure. Lieutenant La Forge and I have attempted to ascertain if there is a programming malfunction or previously unknown routine that would explain this change. Thus far, we have found nothing to indicate this is part of my programming," Data stated.
"Of course. I can see how that would feel unsettling," Deanna replied.
"Lieutenant La Forge has suggested that I 'lean into it.' I have made numerous attempts to do so," Data informed her.
"That sounds like a good plan, Data," Deanna smiled.
"Thank you, Counsellor," he responded.
Deanna watched as his face suddenly changed. His brow furrowed and his mouth fell.
"However, I am concerned that having so little emotional experience could result in my actions causing frustration or harm," Data said.
Deanna contemplated his statement and chose her next words carefully.
"Have these new feelings included any desire to do so? To cause harm?" Deanna asked.
"No, Counsellor," Data said as his eyes grew wide.
To Deanna's relief, Data seemed shocked at the question. She sensed his response was genuine.
"Then why are you afraid?" Deanna questioned.
"When I first began to experience this change the response nearly overwhelmed my neural net and caused significant frustration to someone who is special to me," Data said as he recounted the days following the polywater incident.
Counsellor Troi suspected he was talking about Tasha and that it may be important to explore that.
"Data, I would like to remind you that anything you say here is confidential. Can we talk about your relationship with your friend? Or, if you aren't comfortable naming them, that's alright too. But I think exploring this would be healthy," Deanna reassured him.
Data smiled shyly.
"I believe you are correct, Counsellor. I have begun a romantic relationship with Lieutenant Yar," Data said.
Deanna nodded.
"In addition to my concerns about causing negative emotions in others, I have a confession to make. I assured both Lieutenant Yar and Captain Picard that I would be capable of separating my duty to Starfleet from my feelings for Tasha. However, I have now allowed those feelings to supersede my duty to Starfleet on three occasions," Data admitted.
Deanna shifted in her chair. Data's smile had faded. His features carried worry. Deanna was well aware that Starfleet Regulation 1138 was often a policy where command looked the other way. But that understanding resided on the foundation that duty and romance could be separated.
"Tell me what happened," Deanna prompted.
"On three occasions, I have failed to follow protocol because my thinking process has been disrupted by these emotions. In two instances, I was compelled to take actions that were against regulations and dangerous. In one instance I failed to follow standard procedure because, well, I believe you would call it 'not thinking clearly'," Data said.
Deanna glanced at the time on her PADD. They still had another forty-two minutes left in their session.
It was evident that Data was afraid.
Furthermore, she had a responsibility as Counsellor to assess and report if his behaviour could become dangerous.
"Data, you mentioned the word dangerous. I need to know what happened," Deanna stated.
"The first instance was during the polywater incident. I allowed my feelings to delay my response to a direct order from the Captain. Then during our incident with the energy force that caused a ship wide life support failure I chose to attempt a manual override to restart the life support systems in Lieutenant Yar's quarters. This required I interface with the computer directly," Data said. "In doing so I exposed my positronic brain to the unknown energy entity. The third incident occurred when I failed to notify Sickbay that I was inbound with Lieutenant Yar after she lost consciousness in the Observation Lounge."
"I think we forget about the polywater incident Data. Everyone was affected in their own way. As for taking Tasha to sick bay, although it is standard protocol - it happens Data. It is only human to forget something like that in the moment," Deanna explained. "But I'd like to talk more about the interface. You took a great risk that day."
Deanna recalled he had emerged on the Bridge with a burned connection wire dangling from his exposed circuitry. It had been highly unusual to see Data in such a state.
She thought back to his explanation that day on the Bridge.
It is fortunate the energy surge caused the cable to sever at this point of connection. Had it reached my positronic brain at its full capacity, I am unsure what may have happened.
"Tell me about what you were thinking when you made that choice. What were you feeling in the moment?" Deanna asked.
Data began to explain that after the emergency life support system went offline, he theorised ways to reboot the system. Had he been alone, he could have overridden the safety protocols and made his way to an engineering console to work on the problem. However, Data immediately considered this a non-feasible option.
"Although I do not require the life support atmospheric conditions to survive, humans do. Opening the door would have resulted in Lieutenant Yar's death," Data said.
He went on to explain how he realised he would be able to interface with the computer and reboot the system for the four cabins connected on that portal. Data also explained how it would be a significant risk to himself and possibly the ship.
"I calculated the point of no return, the moment at which I would need to act or wait. I chose to act, and that choice could have exposed myself and the Enterprise to great risk," Data said.
"But what were you feeling Data?" Deanna pressed.
"There were many feelings. My systems were nearly overloaded with sensations," Data said as he struggled to put words to what had happened on that day.
Deanna could see the rate of his artificial breathing had increased and she could sense confusion coming from Data. She decided to attempt an exercise she had successfully employed with others to help sort out the various emotions.
"Data, I'd like to try something. It may help you sort through what happened. And it could help ground your feelings when you do experience these new highly emotional states," she suggested.
He nodded in agreement.
"Close your eyes and think back to that moment," Deanna said as she guided him. "Data, you have the unique ability to observe more than most of us. I want you to describe for me what those receptors were reading in that moment. What do you see, Data? What can you touch and smell?"
"There is a gentle hum that emanates from the ship's life support system. The sound has stopped. I find this silence disturbing," Data described.
"That's very good, Data. Keep going," Deanna encouraged.
"It is cold. I can both feel the drop in temperature in my bioplast and I can see that when Tasha exhales the temperature has reached the point that the condensation is visible," Data went on.
"Can you smell anything Data?" Deanna asked.
"Yes. There is mint from the tea on the table and lavender from Tasha's shampoo," Data said as he thought back.
"What can you feel Data?" Deanna urged.
"Her hand is cold. The carbon monoxide has reached a point that she is confused and nearly unconscious. I know I should not, but I feel obligated to confess my feelings should the interface be unsuccessful, or should the entity damage me in some way. Regardless, I have to attempt the interface." Data recounted in a determined voice.
"Why do you have to?" Deanna asked.
"My neural net is overwhelmed by the thought of emptiness. I have to attempt this because I would rather face the risk of becoming non-functioning than consider the possibility of existence without Tasha," Data said softly.
Suddenly his eyes shot open.
"Is this greed?" Data asked alarmed.
"No, Data," Deanna said with a smile. "I think it's love."
"I am incapable of love," Data replied.
"How can you be certain?" Counsellor Troi asked.
Data paused, suddenly he felt very unsure of himself.
"You said yourself you are beginning to experience emotion," Deanna reminded him. "And love isn't just an emotion. Love can be affection, commitment, care, physical or spiritual intimacy, passion, respect, and much more."
Data considered her words. After a moment he nodded slowly.
"Yet, my actions still put myself and thus the Enterprise at risk," Data concluded.
"How so?" Deanna inquired.
"Had I been rendered non-functioning I would be unable to perform my duties to Starfleet. My capabilities make me the only officer that does not require rest. I am able to withstand atmospheric conditions that would kill many Federation species. Furthermore, my physical makeup and strength have proven to be of value on numerous away missions," Data explained.
"Just because you have those skills, doesn't mean they are the property of Starfleet," Deanna said.
She could sense that he felt beholden to his duty regardless of his identity as an individual.
"Captain Picard relies on my ability to remain unclouded by emotion. While these feelings are a personal achievement, they are a failure of my duty," Data said with a hint of sadness.
"Why should you matter less than Starfleet? My skills as an empath are valuable to Starfleet but that doesn't mean who I am as a person should matter any less than my duty," Deanna said poignantly. "Many Starfleet officers have made choices of personal sacrifice to save fellow crew members even though the loss of their skills is a loss to Starfleet."
She could see he was still struggling to grasp the concept. What she couldn't see is that the first few months of Data's activation had left him conditioned to see himself in that way. It had taken time for Data to advocate for his own personhood.
"I think it will take time for me to understand that distinction, Counsellor. My internal chronometer indicates we are nearing the end of our session. You have given me a great deal to think about for our next appointment," Data said.
-----------
Three days later, Worf was on his way to holodeck 3 following his shift. Tasha had invited Worf to join her for a workout where they could both blow off some steam. The two friends had an arrangement – Worf was teaching Tasha Mok'bara and Tasha was teaching Worf how to box.
Worf stepped onto the turbolift where Commander Riker and Data were on their way to a meeting with the Captain. Commander Riker took note of Worf's wrist wraps and gloves.
Riker's curiosity was piqued.
"Off to the holodeck?" Riker asked.
"Yes, Commander," Worf replied.
"What's with the gear? I've seen your workouts, Worf, and I seem to recall you like them with the safety protocols off," Riker commented.
"I am sparring with Lieutenant Yar this evening," Worf said.
"Can I come?" Riker replied eagerly. "It's been ages since I've stepped into a ring."
"I believe that would be acceptable. But we will not 'go easy' on you," Worf warned as he stepped off the lift.
"I'll change into something more appropriate and join you shortly," Riker said as he indicated to his uniform.
After the doors closed Commander Riker looked at Data with a grin. After a moment, Data realised Riker was smiling at him.
"Yes, Commander?" Data inquired as he turned his head to look at Commander Riker.
"Well, if my girlfriend was boxing with Klingons, I might be a little concerned about her safety," Riker said.
"Lieutenant Yar is not my 'girlfriend.' And in any case, she is an accomplished pugilist and highly skilled in several martial arts disciplines. She is more than capable of holding her own against a larger sparring opponent." Data replied in his typical, analytical voice.
"I'm sorry, Mr Data. My remark was inappropriate. And you're right. She is an adept athlete," Riker apologised.
"It is quite alright, Sir," Data said before adding under his breath in a most un-Data like fashion. "She does not like the term."
Riker nodded in understanding as he tried to keep from grinning.
"If I may ask, what do you call yourselves then?" Riker asked.
"We call ourselves by our rank when on duty and our names when off duty," Data answered.
Riker shook his head. It was evident he didn't understand the question.
"No, Data. How do you label your relationship?" Riker asked.
"I am unsure. We do not label it," Data replied suddenly feeling unsure of himself.
It wasn't just Data's android nature that piqued his curiosity.
Since their poker night, Commander Riker had been curious about the relationship between the two.
Data was an enigma. Highly intelligent, but with a tendency to babble. He was curious about the world around him. He was scientific. When he wasn't rebuilding a warp core with Geordi, he was in the Arboretum studying plants.
He was eccentric, a walking encyclopaedia with a strange taste in music and art. He struggled to understand even basic humour. Social interactions were difficult for Data.
Tasha was energetic, sarcastic, and passionate. She was a warrior. She relied on her gut instinct and observational experience. Tasha liked poker and adventure. She was disciplined. And when she wasn't climbing or sparring, she was getting lost in a horror novel.
Although she lived for action, Commander Riker had also come to know Tasha was nurturing and perceptive. She had an uncanny natural ability for conflict resolution and (next to Counsellor Troi) she was the go-to officer for making contact with peoples that had suffered trauma or when they encountered children. Simultaneously the fiercest yet most encouraging among them.
Somehow Pinocchio had managed to woo Artemis.
Riker did acknowledge there were similarities. They were both by-the-book officers with a deep admiration for Starfleet. In many ways, Starfleet had offered both of them their first real home. Both had entered Starfleet at a young age. Beyond that, both were decorated officers with a passion for duty.
Perhaps it wasn't as strange as he'd initially thought that they'd gotten together. Commander Riker had a number of good friends that served on the USS Crazy Horse. When he had first joined the Enterprise, he'd written them to ask for information on Lieutenant Yar to get to know her better.
They'd been eager to share that she was a fine officer and a good friend. But they'd also warned Riker she was coming out of the loss of her partner Lieutenant Alfie O'Connor who had died on a rescue mission.
Commander Riker was overjoyed that Data and Tasha seemed to have found happiness with one another.
"That's OK. Sometimes it's hard to label a relationship. It's perfectly normal, Data, especially when a person's been through losing their fiancé it can take time to feel comfortable again labelling a new relationship," Riker said.
"Fiancé?" Data said as his head cocked to the side.
Commander Riker could see Data's eyes were flitting back and forth as he processed the word.
"Fiancé. Betrothed. Intended. A man who is engaged to be married. From the ancient French to promise or betroth. Engaged. What do you know of this Commander Riker?" Data asked as he turned to Riker.
Riker was taken aback. He would have assumed Tasha had shared that information with Data.
"I have some friends that served with Lieutenant Yar on the Crazy Horse," Riker explained. "She had been engaged to a Lieutenant that died on an away mission."
A beat passed.
"Data, I'm sorry I assumed you were aware of that. If that wasn't something she had shared, I shouldn't have mentioned it," Riker said.
"It is quite alright, Commander," Data replied.
-----------
Worf had reached the holodeck. He commanded the arch to open.
There was a standard boxing ring in the middle of the holodeck and some equipment around the edge but Tasha was nowhere in sight.
"Lieutenant Yar?" Worf said.
There was no response.
It was unlike Lieutenant Yar to be late for something. In addition, someone engaged the holodeck to initiate the program. There had been no communication to security in the last twenty minutes so Worf reasoned it was unlikely she had been called away.
Walking to the backside of the ring he found Tasha on the ground. He was immediately on guard. He had turned in his phaser at the end of his shift, so he wasn't armed.
Kneeling down he took a quick glance at his sparring partner. She didn't appear to be injured.
"Lieutenant Yar," he said quietly.
There was still no response.
Worf reached out and touched her shoulder.
As Tasha jolted awake, she smacked Worf in the face.
"It is only me," Worf said through gritted teeth.
"Oh gods, Worf. I'm so sorry," Tasha said as she covered her mouth.
"Are you alright?" Worf said as he rubbed the tip of his nose where her fist had made contact.
"Yes. I must have dozed off," Tasha admitted as she stood and helped Worf up.
"Are you ill?" Worf inquired.
"No, not at all," Tasha said, shaking her head as she began to stretch.
"Are you sleeping poorly? Due to the Entity perhaps?" Worf asked as they began to limber up.
Tasha shook her head as she pulled her leg back to stretch her quad.
"You have been unusually tired the last few days," Worf commented.
"I've been working on a project. It's a surprise for Data," Tasha explained. "Geordi's helping me develop a new holodeck program."
She went on to explain that they were working to develop a Sherlock Holmes holodeck program for Data. For her plan to be a success, Tasha had to do her research. That research involved reading the Holmes stories and doing additional research on late 19th century London.
Tasha wanted the program to be immersive and provide a genuine mystery for Data to solve. She knew he would appreciate the challenge. However, she also knew she and Geordi would have to put in a lot of work to provide a real challenge to Data.
Data's Android nature meant that it was hard for Tasha to sneak in her research without him noticing. Though he now found pleasure in resting, he did not often rest nor did he do so at the same level as humans.
Tasha enjoyed falling asleep and waking up with him so he'd made an effort to try and make it happen as often as they could. However, she had learned he would often get up after an hour or so and work through the night before returning to bed.
His abilities meant he had extra responsibilities. And those extra responsibilities meant pulling additional work hours, often through the night, in order to accomplish them.
And there were still the nights he had night watch – every three days to be precise.
"I've found it is incredibly hard to sneak in a surprise when your man never needs to sleep," Tasha sighed.
"I could assist you," Worf offered.
"Really?" Tasha asked as she climbed into the rink and pulled on her gloves.
"There's nothing like reading Holmes in its original Klingon," Worf said as he adjusted his own gloves.
Tasha cocked her head at him and Worf smiled.
"Uh-huh," Tasha laughed as she threw a soft punch at his arm.
Worf glanced down at his arm and then looked back up at Tasha.
"You have injured my feelings," Worf replied seriously before being unable to contain himself from letting out a deep laugh.
-----------
"What happened to you?" Deanna asked as she approached Commander Riker, Worf, and Tasha who were seated around a table in Ten Forward.
Commander Riker was cradling a large coolant pack on his right eye.
"Just a little holodeck training," Commander Riker said as he took a sip of his synthesised Manhattan.
"We were sparring," Worf explained.
"Perhaps next time you will think twice before sparring with Worf," Deanna laughed.
Worf and Commander Riker looked at Tasha.
"Again, I'm very sorry Commander," Tasha said with a smirk.
"Well, I won't forget your left hook next time we jump in the ring," Riker said as he raised his glass to Tasha.
-----------
After an hour, Tasha decided she needed a shower. It was nearly 22:00 and Data would be wrapping up his work in Engineering soon. She headed for her quarters and was eager to hop into a hot shower.
"Computer, how about some music. Something relaxing," Tasha said as she kicked off her boots and set her combadge on the built-in shelf.
Stepping into the lavvy she turned on the tap as steam began to fill the room. She grabbed a soft, clean towel from the closet next to the shower and set it on the rack next to the shower.
She hissed slightly as she touched the side of her face where Worf had gotten her during their sparring match. Running her finger along the side of her jawline, she could see there was a slight bruise starting to form.
She must have been more tired than she realised because it wasn't often Worf got in a hit on her. He was big, but she was fast.
Stepping into the shower she felt relief as the hot water poured over her aching shoulders. There was a reason she kept her workouts with Worf limited to twice a week.
As he was fond of reminding her – she wasn't a Klingon.
Closing her eyes, she soaked in the refreshing feel of the hot water and her lavender soap.
She heard the door to her quarters slide open. She'd left the door that led into her main room open – she liked the steam rolling into her quarters. In a strange way, it reminded her of the humid air on Turkana.
After a moment she heard footsteps outside of the shower and Data's shadow in the obscured glass. He stepped in behind her and began to rub her shoulders.
"Thank you," she said as she turned to face him.
"You have been fatigued the last seventy-two hours," he said.
She smiled up at him. It was true and, at the moment, she could feel it in every one of her muscles.
"Were you injured during your sparring match?" Data said in a concerned voice as he noticed the bruise forming on the side of her jawline.
"You should see the other guy," she joked in response.
Data cocked his head at her.
"It's a phrase," she explained.
"Ah! I see," he said with a small nod.
She reached up to tuck an errant strand of hair behind his ear. He never ceased to astonish her. He couldn't rust. He wouldn't drown. He was perfectly capable of submerging himself in water for extended periods of time without damage to his circuitry. Just as human skin did, his own bioplast protected his internal systems.
She noticed that he was deep in thought, staring off into nothing.
"What's on your mind, Data?" she asked.
He looked down and met her gaze.
"I had my first counselling session today. It has left me with a great deal to consider," he explained.
"That's great," Tasha said as she ran her hands up his arms and let them rest on his shoulders.
"There are many things I would like to discuss at future sessions," he said.
"I'm glad to hear you will be going back," Tasha smiled.
She meant it.
She had been thrilled when Data first brought up the concept of seeing Counsellor Troi. She had an inkling it would be a good thing for his emotional development - and for working through some of the things he'd told her about his early years in Starfleet.
Data stepped out to allow her to wash her hair. Although her quarters were better than most, the shower wasn't quite as large as the shower in Data's quarters. And as much as she liked the intimacy of having Data join her, it just wasn't practical for washing her hair.
Knowing he only had a few moments, Data dried off quickly and grabbed his PADD. He pulled up all available information on crew deaths aboard the USS Crazy Horse from the last five years. He cross-referenced rank and deaths that occurred on away missions specifically during Tasha's tenure.
It took Data 2.93 seconds to find the name he had sought.
Alfie O'Connor. Lieutenant. Medical Officer. Born on the Vega colony.
Less than two years out of the academy, he was dead at 25.
The fragility of life fascinated Data.
He thought back to Commander Riker's earlier statement and agreed it would be best for Tasha to tell him about her relationship if and when she was ready.
After all, there were a great many things he had not told Tasha about his life or his past friendships and sexual relationships.
However, he would file this information away and begin the study of human behaviour after the loss of a romantic partner. He surmised it would give him a greater understanding of Tasha and the reluctance she had to identify their relationship with a formal label.
He heard the tap shut off and Tasha stepped out a moment later and towelled her hair.
"May I ask you a question?" Data said as she made her way over to her bedroom to grab her dressing gown.
"Yeah," she replied with a yawn.
"What are we?" he asked bluntly.
Tasha tied the waist of her dressing gown and plopped down next to him on the sofa.
"Well, you're Lt Commander Data, third in command of the Enterprise, and one of only fourteen Starfleet officers to ever be awarded the Legion of Honour," Tasha answered.
She lay her head on his shoulder.
"And I'm your Chief Security Officer, Commander. I'm also the one who happens to be smitten with you," she went on playfully. "And right now, I think it's time for bed."
"Do you love me?" he asked.
Tasha sat up and turned around.
"Where is this coming from?" Tasha questioned as she took note of his face.
Data opened his mouth to respond but then shook his head.
"That's a pretty loaded question, Data," Tasha said slowly.
"I have always thought myself incapable of love," Data explained. "But after speaking with Counsellor Troi I suspect that I may have been misguided in that assumption. She advised that love is more than just an emotional response."
Tasha didn't reply verbally. She took his hand in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture.
"It is affection, intimacy, passion, respect, and commitment," he went on, lingering on the word 'commitment.'
Tasha swallowed hard. She wasn't sure where he was headed.
"I think I am capable of love. And I think I love you, Tasha," Data said as he met her eyes.
Tasha leaned forward and rested her forehead against his. Data wrapped his arms around her, and they stayed like that for a moment.
"And I understand if you are not able to say it back," Data said as he ran his hand up her spine.
Tasha's breath hitched.
She hadn't been expecting this.
In fact, as much as she hoped to one day hear those words, a little part of her had always feared they would never be words that would leave his lips.
She found herself caught off guard.
"You are very special to me, Data," she replied, flipping his own words back at him. "And there are many languages of love."