First part of a double update beauties ;) ENJOY!!
It's been a week since I bumped into Harry outside my Dad's office.
I still don't know why he was there, and I didn't get the chance to ask him. Before I could say anything, Rosie picked up the phone and by the time I'd finished explaining things to her, Harry was gone.
It was weird to see him there, but I guess he has work here, it's not unrealistic to see him here, and although it was 3am I didn't really think much of it.
Not seeing him for a week was weird. He texted me and told me he didn't need me for the other shoots, and that he only needed a few shots from the other models anyway. That wasn't usual. I knew I wasn't going to be in every shot he took. Harry had a lot of me already anyway. I cannot wait to see the pictures.
There was talk of them being put on a billboard on a few streets and tube stations throughout London, and I am telling you, if that happens, I will shit my pants.
It still feels too good to be true, like I'm living in some sort of dream.
I am so thankful to Harry, but he also confuses the fuck out of me. And I can't figure out what to do or how I feel about it. It's uncomfortable.
This past week has been harder than usual, Dad's breakdown was different to the others, there was less anger, and more vulnerability. I don't know if that's a step in the right direction, but I knew this was always going to be a slow process.
He was having some sort of anxiety attack, and it had been happening for around 3 years now. The first year without Mum he was in denial, his brain didn't let him process exactly what happened, and then one day it just hit him, and they started.
The first day I found him in his office, I broke down. I didn't know what to do, and it was so painful seeing him in so much pain. He didn't know what was happening to him either and it took us both time to come to terms with it, that it's something that will keep happening until he decides to face everything himself.
I find it weird sometimes, consciously knowing that the denial he had for the first year is what I'm still going through. My Mum was the most important person and kept the family as close as it was. At least I can thank her for that now as I don't know what me and Dad would've done now if she didn't help establish that close-knit relationship for us.
I know I'm in denial, that's what's different to the usual signs of denial in these stages of grief. I have a weird coping mechanism when it comes to my emotions. I ignore them. I push them to the back of my mind and focus on other things and distract myself.
I know that one day I will have to come to terms with the loss of my Mum, but I'm just not ready for that yet, and for now I'm fine with helping my Dad and letting the denial manage my own grief for the time being.
That night, I took him to the hotel he has become so fond of, after Rosie booked the room for the next few days. I put him in the back of the car, and I got the car to take him there and followed on my motorcycle.
I took him up to his room and made sure I had the spare room key, in case he needed me to come and see him again. I made sure he showered, and I got him into bed, before driving back to his office to pick up clothes and toiletries for him. I let myself back in the room and placed down the bags.
My Dad was sleeping, good. I could hear his light snores echoing through the room. He never sleeps, it's like he's scared of waking up and facing the reality. Like every new day is a new challenge, or another reminder of what he's lost. Whoever said time heals pain, was talking fucking bullshit. If anything, I think things hurt more with time, as you realise just how miserable your life is without them, you feel guilty as you lose certain memories and details that were once so clear in your mind. Sometimes I sit and feel so guilty because I can't remember what my Mum's voice sounds like or I can't remember what her hugs felt like. Over time, everything just feels worse.
I checked on him every few days since I left the hotel that night, he seemed okay. He was back in his office after a day or two. It doesn't matter, I knew he'd leave the hotel as soon as he could.
I took him out to lunch a few times, we went on a few walks together on our favourite streets. Walking round London is one of our favourite things to do. It was comforting for us. He was trying to convince me he felt better and lighter, but I knew he was lying. He feels guilty for keeping me with him, he feels like a burden, but he is my priority as much as he hates it.
Today was the first day he was starting to come out of it. I was in the agency today, going to see my Dad. The pictures of me from all the shoots were coming through, and Harry was coming in later to see if we approved of them and which ones we thought would be best for the promo and possible billboards.
My Dad had told me about the billboards when we were on our walk and I freaked out. It's honestly insane. My face all over London, like how do you ever get used to that?
I was going into my Dad's office and he was going to tell me whether he has managed to make it happen or not. I was shit scared. Obviously, it's no big deal if he managed to get it or not, as I never had it in the first place, but I would be fucking gutted after it was dangled right in front of me and then taken away.
I step into my Dad's office, and it's looking like a different room after last week. It seems like two different places to me, depending on what mood he's in.
He's on the phone, but he gestures for me to come in and sit down on one of the sofas to the right of his desk.
"Yeah Martin, I completely understand" He nods submissively. "Yeah...okay mate, yeah, see you tomorrow, okay, bye."
He sighs to himself as he puts the phone down. Martin and my Dad have been best friends for years, both opening their own managements together, but in different fields. Martin has been Louis' manager for almost as long as I've been signed to my Dad's agency. Louis and Martin have a complicated relationship, it's an awkward dynamic that they somehow manage to work through My Dad convinces me to try and keep the peace between the two of them.
Little does he know, me and Louis are calling Martin every name under the sun when we're alone. Fucking wanker.
My Dad moves over to the sofa, sitting on the one opposite me and smiles apprehensively.
He's smiling proudly, and he's definitely smug about something.
"You've got it" He straight away gets to the point.
"You what?" I scream.
"Yeah, I was having trouble at first, they didn't think the pictures were promotable content for the city, but I emailed Mr. Styles and he sent them over some extra pictures that he'd kept as he was editing them himself or something, and they accepted them straight away. No question."
"He did what?" I ask in disbelief.
"Seems he cares as much about the promo as you do, Pumpkin."
He is fucking insane. I can't believe he did this. He did it.
"What pictures did he send them that changed their mind?" I asked my dad.
"Beats me," he smiles "something good, they changed their mind straight away. He's going to show us them when he comes later."
"Anyway, let's have a look at the pictures I've got already, before he gets here, you can tell me your favourites." He changes the subject, his smile from ear to ear. I know what he's thinking. That Mum would be so proud of me.
We swipe through the pictures on my Dad's iPad, and I am in awe. Harry is so talented. These pictures are just...beautiful. Is this how he sees me?
The clothes look stunning, and with the aesthetic that he has enhanced for each picture, and how it completely reflects the clothes I am wearing, I am lost for words.
I am sorry for ever slagging off his shitty little camera. If it makes me look like this, I might have to buy one myself.
I make a mental note to apologise to him about it, although I know he probably doesn't even care.
There is literally not a single picture me and my Dad do not approve of, he could use any of them and I would be over the moon.
It isn't much longer before we here a knock at the door and my Dad shouts for them to come in.
It's Harry, of course.
He's wearing a what looks like a silk bomber jacket/varsity jacket type thing that has white sleeves, but a black body, and it has what looks like palm leaves and a bird being chased by a tiger on the front. That is definitely Gucci, Mr. Styles.
He walks in with a confident stride, and that same smoulder that I was first met with just over a week ago. He has an iced black coffee and his phone in one hand, and his laptop under his other arm.
"Morning Mr. Melburn" He says politely to my Dad, "Bryoni" he nods to me.
"Good morning Mr. Styles, take a seat next to Bryoni for me."
He hums and nods in approval and places his things down on the coffee table between the two sofas.
"So," My father starts, "I hear you have some new pictures to show us."
"Yes, me and Bryoni took some other extra photos on our first shoot day, in clothes that were less bold, that stand out from the rest of the collection. I didn't really pay them much attention until you said the company said the current photos were too bold and weren't 'billboard material', so I quickly put together these posters I thought might be more appropriate."
That is the most I've ever heard him say. No wonder my Dad likes him so much, he's very well spoken and polite. His Mum did well with him.
"Sounds good," my Dad says to him, "let's see them."
He opens his laptop and clicks a few buttons before angling the screen so both me and my Dad can see.
I am speechless.
There's two of them that he's made, both so beautiful. The clothes are simplistic, sure, but it makes you want to know what else is in the line. What else he's done.
This picture is going to be all over London.
This is fucking insane.
"Harry..." I start, lost for words, "these pictures, they're..."
"They're beautiful Pumpkin." My Dad finishes for me.
I turn to grin at him.
"Thank you, Harry. And I'm sorry for calling your camera a piece of shit, when that's clearly not the case"
He shrugs it off silently and tries to hide his smirk from me. I notice it.
"Mr. Styles..." My Dad starts but is cut off by Harry.
"Just call me Harry" He corrects, a small tight-lipped smile.
"Very well, Harry, we are having a celebratory dinner at Bryoni's favourite restaurant tonight, I would like you to attend. I will get my assistant to email you the details."
"Of course, Sir, I would love to attend." He avoids eye contact with me as he stands to leave, gathering all of his things and easily holding them in one hand.
"I'm glad you like the photos Bryoni, I know I do." He looks directly into my eyes, slightly leaning over to tell me.
I smile and nod as he turns to leave, pretending like that had no effect on me, when really, I feel weak at the knees, and I'm sitting down.
He leaves the room and closes the door very gently. The silence he left the room in is almost deafening for a few seconds, before my Dad breaks it.
"He's really something else, isn't he?"
"Yeah..." I exhale, he doesn't even know the half of it.
~~~~~~~
I finish doing my makeup and stand up to look at my outfit. I'm going bold tonight, I'm probably going to get drunk to celebrate and I'm definitely over-dressed, but I can't find it in me to care.
I'm wearing a tiny black bralette, with detailing and some black vinyl leather pants with lots of zips. I added a thick gold bangle to match my usual gold chain necklaces, and plenty of gold hoop earrings in my ears. My hair falls into its natural curled state and I've taken half of it up into a top knot bun, high on my head. I've paired my outfit with my much-loved Docs, and I plan on throwing on a cropped and ripped white denim jacket before I leave.
I go to take my usual selfie, and I'm loving this outfit today. I love wearing black.
My Dad had asked me the day before where my favourite restaurant was, it was only when he invited Harry to a celebratory dinner I realised why.
It was that bistro me and Harry went to just over a week ago, which I had recently found out was called 'Donna's'. I'm so fucking excited to go again, the food and wine was unreal.
Meredith and Louis were getting ready next door, and Louis had invited Zayn too. I missed that fucker, I haven't seen him in months, but he's been touring, doing the lights for shows of some new upcoming band or something, so I was excited to see him again. I'm pretty sure M's brother Liam was coming too. I didn't really care who brought who, I was too proud of myself and Harry. I didn't even care. I wonder if my Dad said Harry could bring someone too.
Rosie was coming too, she deserves a celebration, she works just as hard as me, if not harder. I don't tell her often enough, but I really fucking appreciate her.
Lou shouts me to say the car is here, and that Zayn is downstairs.
I grab my jacket and walk out of my room.
Lou and M spot me and start whistling at me as I slip my arms into my jacket.
"Fuck B!!! Someone's going full out!!" Louis practically shouts at me and Meredith is giggling at him holding onto his arm.
"I've got every reason to celebrate, now let's go, I want get drunk." I say to them, itching to leave.
Louis kisses Meredith longingly, knowing this is the last one they will be able to share until they are back within these walls later tonight.
After their long kiss Lou grabs her jaw and pulls her in for a quick chaste kiss, smiling as he pulls away.
"Love you" she whispers against his lips.
"More than you know." He finishes.
Ew. Love.
He walks over to me and grabs my hand, leading us out of the door, Meredith behind us and the nightguard pacing to catch up with us.
We walk out of the elevator into the lobby and it's then that we see Zayn, leaning back against the wall pressing loads of buttons on his phone, he's probably still obsessed with that damn Harry Potter game.
He hears the noises of the elevator and looks up, his face immediately breaking out into the huge smile I've missed so dearly.
"Lou!" He shouts first, both of them grinning so hard its infectious.
Louis grasps his hand and pulls him into what they call their 'bro-hug'.
They're slapping each other's backs for a few minutes before they even register that we're still stood here, me and M smiling at each other at how obvious it is how much they've missed each other. Ever since Zayn did the lights for one of Louis' first shows at the O2 a few years ago, they have been inseparable, they even lived together before I introduced Lou to Meredith.
Zayn pulls away from Louis and runs straight up to me, lifting me up into a hug and spinning me round.
"I fucking missed you bestie." He whispers into my ear as places me down on the floor, placing a quick peck on my cheek, making me blush. I've missed his easy-going affection.
He walks over to Meredith, rubbing his hand on the top of her head, messing her hair up and to wind her up like he always does.
"I would kiss you, you sexy bitch, but Lou would probably smack me, and I look too pretty to be smacked tonight." Zayn says to her.
Meredith wraps her arms around his waist and brings him in for a hug and he chuckles to himself, Louis sternly watching exactly where his hands go on her body.
Zayn and Louis may be best friends, but Louis is extremely possessive over Meredith, it's hot to watch him get like that, to be honest.
"Right dickheads, we're going to be late so let's get going." Louis says as he clears his throat, clearly bothered by the elongated contact between M and Z.
Louis grabs my hand and pulls me out towards the door, and Zayn is sniggering to himself as he leads Meredith out of the door by placing his hand on the small of her back.
We step into the car Lou called for us, while Meredith is checking her phone.
"Liam is meeting us there" she says, texting him back.
"Fuck, the whole squad's getting back together." Zayn exclaims, laughing to himself. He does that, finds his own jokes funnier than anyone else.
"Are you high Z?" Louis asks as he rolls his eyes, leaning into me while I take a picture of us to post.
"Maybe I smoked something before I got here..." He says slyly.
We all stop to turn and smirk at him.
"What?!" He shouts defensively. "You know how funny I am when I'm weed high, and we're celebrating."
I cackle loudly as Meredith snickers to herself. I've missed him.
"You're a proper dickhead mate." Louis says as he shakes his head, we all know he loves Zayn really and probably finds this fucking hilarious.
"Yeahhhh," Zayn laughs at him as he wiggles his eyebrows playfully, "I know I am."
~~~~~~
A/N
Hey besties.
I originally planned this to be one whole chapter, but I didn't realise how much I wanted to happen lol.
Hope you enjoy lol these were fun to write.
Welcome Z to Marigold!!!
And as I'm typing this I've just hit 700 reads, WHICH IS FUCKING INSANE.
Thank you so much for all the crazy support, keep commenting and letting me know what you think,
I love you very much <3