"I hate the holidays" Austin groaned as he collapsed back onto his bed. "You're lucky you have somewhere to go. Westwood gets so boring on Holidays"
"It's just two weeks" Aiden reasoned. "I'm sure you'll be glad to have the room to yourself" He chuckled as he finished packing a small bag. He decided not to mention that he, in fact, was not lucky. Holidays were the most dreadful part of the year... Thanksgiving was tolerable for one reason and one reason alone; Sebastian stayed in Oregon.
Sebastian had a strong dislike for Thanksgiving with his family so he avoided Ohio like the plague. Christmas, on the other hand, he was indecisive about. He had liked it when he and Aiden first started dating... He liked their first Christmas together and everything had run smoothly. Then the next year he hated it and trashed the house. Aiden had spent the rest of his break cleaning up the glass, fixing furniture, and making excuses.
"I would be glad if every guy I'd consider in my league didn't actually have a family" Austin scoffed. "And I asked Markos if I could just go with him but apparently his aunt is pretty particular... Can I just go with you?"
"You'd lose your mind" Aiden snorted. "Not to mention, my house is trashed since only Xander's been living there" Austin groaned and buried his face into a pillow. Aiden let out a shaky sigh and grabbed his bags, not bothering to say goodbye. He headed outside of his room and his heart ached as he saw Beau patiently waiting.
"Hey" A small, yet fake smile reached the small boy's lips and Aiden found a lump forming in his throat. He knew it was for the best. Not only because of what Beau was going through but because Aiden couldn't truly be happy in any relationship until he could get Sebastian to leave him alone. "Are you sure you don't want to just spend Christmas with my family? You seemed kind of... Miserable when you got back last Holiday" Beau mumbled as he awkwardly rocked back onto his heels.
"Yeah, I'll be alright" Aiden lied. "Come on, we'll miss the bus" He hummed. He had considered going to Beau's. He had considered hiding from Sebastian as if that would solve anything... But it wasn't that simple. He'd have to face him sooner or later.
The two boys called their goodbyes and climbed on to their bus to the airport. Beau's fingers nervously messed with the strings of an old, worn, dark blue hoodie that looked just a size too big. Aiden didn't recognize it but decided it was best not to ask questions.
"Sup, bitches" Sage loudly announced as she hopped into the seat in front of them. Aiden internally groaned at the sight of the girl alone. Sage and Aiden had had a... Complicated relationship ever since they were kids. It started with them being forced to be playmates since their grandmothers were good friends. They hated the existence of the other for literally no reason what so over and spent their elementary and middle school years torturing one another.
Then Freshmen year rolled around. Aiden got involved with Sebastian and although he and Sage hung with the same crowd, they managed to avoid one another. Then things ended with Sebastian and about two years later he started dating Olive. Olive who was one of Sage's best friends... So you could only imagine how difficult it was for Sage and Aiden to remain civil with one another. For those reasons, Aiden harassed Sage about her sleeping with someone nearly twice her age, and Sage harassed Aiden for... Well... Everything.
"No" Aiden deadpanned. He couldn't help feeling a little bit excited when he heard Beau's sweet laugh. Sage rolled her eyes and reached over to mess with Aiden's hair as she used to when they were kids.
"Your hair's getting long" She blindly commented. "Are you going to go through another mid-life crisis and chop it off again or grow it out?" Beau
"Mid-life crisis?" Beau asked giving Aiden a long and confused look.
"Oops... Didn't tell your little boyfriend?" Sage teased. "By the way, hey Beau. I missed that pretty face"
"He's not my-" Aiden paused and took a deep breath. "Okay, first off I'm considering it. Second, mid-life? Seriously?"
"I had an ongoing bet with Olive that you'd either be in prison or dead before you were thirty" Sage shrugged. Aiden rolled his eyes and rested his head back against the seat.
"Words cannot describe how much you infuriate me" Aiden groaned.
"To be fair, Olive's bet was twenty. I was being generous" Sage chuckled. Aiden sighed and closed his eyes hoping for a long and peaceful drive to the airport. He still had a strong dislike for planes but had grown somewhat used to them since starting school at Westwood. There was a long drive to the airport due to the crowded streets and when they got there Aiden waited at Beau's gate with him since his flight left almost an hour before Aiden's and Sage's.
"If you change your mind..." Beau quietly mumbled as he finished writing out his number across the back of Aiden's hand. Aiden bit back a laugh and resisted the urge to reach out and play with Beau's hair or brush his cheek... So instead he just pulled the boy into a quick hug.
"Have a good flight, alright?" Beau hesitated before nodding. They called their goodbyes and awkwardly parted ways. It was weird to leave the room without kissing Beau's forehead or holding him a few seconds longer. It always felt like words were dancing on the tip of his tongue but he never knew what to say.
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Beau hesitated as he stood just a few feet from the cemetery. He knew the way to Lukas's family grave sight by heart. He used to visit Lukas's mother every year on her birthday with him... It was weird. Without Lukas, a place that was once so familiar felt foreign... Almost like he wasn't even in the same place.
His fingers awkwardly tugged at the hoodie strings of Lukas's old hoodie. By now, any clothes that Beau had brought with him to Westwood that once belonged to Lukas no longer smelt of stale mint and morning rain. If he was desperate enough he could trick himself into thinking he smelt Lukas's cologne or he could still feel his warmth. But it was all just another lie he told himself.
Beau clenched onto the strings as he forced himself down the familiar dirt path. He passed family grave sights with last names he had memorized. Last names of people that had gone to school with him. People whose families had lived there for generations... People who now hated him.
His throat tightened and his footsteps stopped as soon as he spotted a familiar tombstone. It was only fourteen years old but a layer of dirt had built upon it. A gorgeous angel was carved alongside a name written a delicate cursive; Mary Edwards. Beau bit down on his bottom lip and kept his gaze low as he forced himself forward.
That was when he saw it. A granite slab with Lukas's name engraved in identical cursive. There was a photo underneath of Lukas... Beau had been with him when it was taken. He had gone camping with Lukas and his dad next to a river. Large boulders sat along the river's edge and Lukas had climbed after Beau despite being terrified of heights...
His beautiful blonde boy was sitting on top of one of the boulders with a dazzling smile on his lips. His pretty pale eyes shimmered in the sunlight and his messy and untamed blonde hair fell over his forehead. He wore a baggy flannel and jeans like he always did... He looked happy.
Beau hesitated before sitting down and resting his head against the cool granite. His heart ached as he closed his watering eyes and ran his fingers along the wet grass. His bottom lip quivered and he took a shaky breath as he tried to picture Lukas. He tried to smell the stale mint that always seemed to linger on him. He tried to hear his gentle voice talking about nothing and everything all at once...
When he lost Lukas it wasn't just a boyfriend... It wasn't just another friend he knew from high school. Lukas was his everything. He was his other half and his twin flame. Beau had never been away from Lukas for longer than the few weeks he went to camp in the Summer. He had been attached at the boy's hip since they were four. They signed up for the same classes, played the same sports, volunteered at the same programs, and spent all of their spare time and nights together. His life was Lukas... Being without him was like being without a part of himself.
"What the hell are you doing here?" A deep and familiar voice scoffed. Beau remained unbothered and didn't even spare a glance. He knew who was standing behind him, he knew everyone in his town.
"If you plan on trying to beat me up or harass me on our friend's grave, you have some serious issues" Beau forced out the words. There was silence for a few moments before Jacob sat a few feet from Beau. Beau finally looked over at the dark-haired boy. Jacob had been a good friend of his and Lukas's throughout high school and middle school. They played football together, ate lunch together, and had most of their classes together.
"You know... I always knew you two were close but I never thought y'all were fags" If Jacob hadn't called Beau a slur, he might have sounded sympathetic. Beau rolled his eyes and tried to avoid fidgeting with his hoodie strings again.
"Yeah, well the world is full of surprises" Beau deadpanned.
"Yeah... I always thought Patrick was the gay one" Jacob lightly joked. He awkwardly cleared his throat when he realized Beau hadn't found it funny. "I can't believe I'm friends with a pyromaniac... It's a bit surprising from you of all people"
"I'm not a pyromaniac... That's just what Mr. Edwards has been telling people to cover up why I did it" Beau muttered. He tried not to think about the cold-hearted man. The man who had abused and manipulated his wife and son to suicide. The man who used what Lukas loved most in the world to manipulate him; God and religion.
"I didn't know you even got angry... Much less angry enough to burn down a barn" Jacob sighed. Beau watched the boy's lightly tanned fingers run through the cold grass. He knew Jacob meant well... He was just ignorant and blind like everyone else in his town. He didn't know any better...
"Yeah, well if you were there you would have been angry too"
"You could have been a bit more rational-"
"I watched my boyfriend get carried away in a body bag, Jacob. I was pretty fucking angry" Beau suddenly snapped. There was another long silence before Jacob brought his gaze to the floor and the two fell into a long silence.
"I was angry too" He finally mumbled. "You weren't the only one who loved him... Like that" Beau froze and his gaze shot up to the scruffy messy-haired boy he had known since kindergarten. Jacob's face was flushed as he stared down at the grass, twirling a blade around his finger.
"I'm sorry" Beau sighed. "It gets better... It's a lot better in Washington" Jacob gave a light nose laugh of disbelief so Beau kept going. "I'm openly gay at the asylum and haven't been beat up or harassed once... Can you imagine if I'd stayed here?"
"I don't get to leave, Beau. I have responsibilities" Jacob quietly reminded him. The dark-haired boy sighed before standing up and lightly ruffling Beau's hair with a sad smile. "I know I don't act like it, but it was nice to see you... Call me if you need anything?"
"Yeah... The same goes for you" Beau didn't necessarily agree with what Jacob said about things. He didn't agree with the discriminatory things that left his mouth... But the least he could do was be someone Jacob could be real with. Someone that wouldn't judge him and so he could learn to be himself and free...
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"Bottoms up" Edward hummed as he laid out another row of shots in front of his friends. "You too, Aiden. You're our only hope to beat Roman" Aiden sighed and reluctantly grabbed one of the five glasses waiting on the table. He wasn't sure this was a good idea... He was stupid and irrational with he was drunk but he was also stressing out with the possibility that Sebastian would come home for Christmas.
He brought the glass to his lips and threw his head back, feeling the burning liquid run down his throat. He wrinkled his nose slightly before setting down the glass. Gray was happily clinging to Roman's arm with their face buried in their boyfriend's neck. Their hair was no longer silver but instead was dyed a beautiful lilac color.
"Gray, are you playing?" Roman asked as he placed a quick kiss on one of their round cheeks. Gray sighed and took one of the shots, easily handling it better than anyone else there. The taste never bothered Gray, but they were also very small compared to Roman and had a lower tolerance. Freddie broke out coughing beside Aiden making him roll his eyes. Freddie couldn't handle alcohol to save his life... The same went for Edward.
Seven shots in and an hour later and Freddie was slurring his words, Edward was dancing to Rihanna, and Roman was politely listening as Gray happily listed off their favorite comics in order and went into detail on the storylines. Aiden rested his head back against the couch. He hadn't taken more than one shot and was almost completely sober. He hated it. He had tried listening to Gray or watching Edward but nothing felt right... He couldn't tell if he wanted to down another three shots to feel something or if he wanted to go home and contemplate the meaning of life.
"Wait... I thought he was dead?" Roman asked as his eyebrows furrowed together.
"No, he died in that reality. When Wanda restored their old reality it brought Pietro back but he lost his powers" Gray's slurred voice explained. Aiden gave a light nose laugh as he thought over Gray's comic-book collection. The kid was sweet and shy at first but if you could get them to talk about comics you'd be there for hours. His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he quickly took it out before his heart dropped.
Sebastian: Come over
Aiden's throat tightened and he quickly typed out a reply.
Can't. Driving to Tennessee
"Edward... Do you have anything?" Aiden blindly asked. His chest felt tight and he could already feel himself beginning to panic. What if Sebastian saw through his lie? What if Sebastian got angry? What if Sebastian found out about Beau?
"Always" Edward chuckled. He disappeared for a moment before coming back with a small orange bottle. Aiden's throat burned as Edward tossed the rattling bottle toward him. He read over the label instantly recognizing the medication; Fentanyl. He'd only take one or two... He only needed a bit of relief. It wasn't a big deal. He'd be fine. He felt sick as he poured three tablets in his hand, staring down at them.
He wanted to stop worrying. He wanted to relax and forget about everything... He glanced around at his friends, all wasted and guilty of their own poisons. Even sweet little Gray who was against smoking but would also sell his soul for acid. They were all fine... They were all alive and happy... A few small pills wouldn't hurt... So despite his head screaming at him to stop, he grabbed a glass of water and popped the three pills into his mouth.
Sorry Beau
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Markos mindlessly walked through his dad's office, admiring anything he kept in a small display case. Priceless artifacts and paintings decorated the room and Markos found himself lost for a moment. He remembered when things were so simple... Sometimes he missed those times but he remembered how lonely they were too...
Every morning he'd get up at six, spend way too long on his appearance but never feeling fully satisfied. He'd eat a healthy breakfast planned out by a dietitian to keep him just barely hovering over the underweight line. Before his transition, his appearance had meant everything to everyone else. Afterward, it meant everything to him and him alone...
Then he'd go to a small school filled with kids in his social class. He'd put on a show, captivate his audience and keep their adoration. He'd smile and laugh like he was happy... Like he belonged there, but he never did. He didn't have any real friends. Maybe one or two at some point but they never did last long... The only long-term friend he had was a sweet trans girl he had taken out shopping when she first transitioned. Markos had always been as Austin put it, "A queer icon" even before his transition so there was no way in hell he was going to let Auna go through things alone.
Auna had been absolutely incredible to him. They got along well, Markos taught her how to do makeup, she taught Markos how to play piano, it all worked out. But then things got personal and intimate, both physically and emotionally... One day she started opening up to Markos about how she felt and how she had come to realize she was trans. That was when Markos's entire world collapsed.
Markos had been irrational. Markos had lashed out and completely tarnished their relationship out of his own insecurities. Auna had tried to comfort him, to help him as he had helped her but Markos just couldn't listen. He didn't want to accept the fact that he was a boy. That he was Markos Ariti... It took him a few months to come out and in those months he had been nothing short of cruel toward Auna. Maybe it was out of fear that she'd say something... But it was more likely out of jealousy. Jealousy for her being comfortable with herself. For her being out and open about it. For her being able to be herself.
He regretted it. He really did... It still hurt to think about all of the things he had done and said to her... She never deserved it. She deserved his love and affection, not his anger and jealousy. Even after Markos came out and went into hiding. When Rhea disappeared from the world and Markos emerged not many questioned it... But Auna knew. She always knew how to recognize her first love. And she told him too... She'd found him in his dad's club and congratulated him before leaving his life for good.
That was when Markos's life became less of an endless string of auctions, charity balls, art galleries, and theatre. He spent less time romanticizing the world around him and more time collapsing in on himself at parties and people. He left behind Rhea who was sweet, popular, and smart. And he discovered Markos who was all of those things and more. He was happy with himself... He loved himself for the first time ever... But he had given up any chance at friendship or companionship along the way. Until he found Westwood.
Westwood which was at first his personal hell had quickly become a safe haven. A place where he could make connections with people that saw him as more than another rich boy... A place where he had met Beau who he loved like a brother. A place where he had met Austin who made him more comfortable expressing his feminine side. A place where he had met his complete opposite, Jayce, who had accepted him. Who didn't treat him much different than before other than the fact that the two had grown closer. He was finally happy... He wasn't as lonely or lost in a sea of people.
Markos headed toward the door giving an elegant golden painting of a snake one last look before he left. He headed down the hall and into his bathroom where a wide mirror waited for him. He leaned closer to his reflection, inspecting himself. His eyes observed every imperfection like always... But this time, for every part of himself he hated there was something he loved. For the first time in a long time, he was admiring himself. He felt pretty... He felt good. He felt like he belonged in this body... A body he wouldn't trade for the world.
Question of the chapter: How many animals do you own? I have three dogs, a cat, and a turtle!