Here's a short update for you guys.. Hope you enjoy. Sorry sa mabagal na update. Super busy po kasi. :)) vote.. And comment po kayo. :))
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"What are the things that hold you back from doing what you really want in life?".
This question keeps repeatedly ringing in my head for a second or two.
"Fears po siguro Tito boy".
Yes, I was being interviewed by the great Boy Abunda. Then he nodded and ask me why.
"Fears of being judged, fears of rejection", I paused and sigh. "and siguro po yung takot ko na Baka pag ginagawa ko to, ganyan, Baka mawala yung Kung anong meron ako ngayon", I smiled at him.
"But then, you keep your hopes high, you take the risks and auditioned in miss saigon! And now you're here, after 5?? 6 years?.. wow! Ang layo na ng narating ng isang Rachelle Ann go!" he said it with so much pride.
Oo, nagbalik na ako ng pilipinas, after I recieved the phone call from oz, I decided to arranged our papers. Sakto naman sa pagkaayos ng mga papers namin ni Yzian, ay ang pagkaayos na din ng kalagayan niya. Pinayagan narin siya ng mga doktor niya na Sumakay sa eroplano kasama ko pabalik sa pilipinas.
I smiled back. "Yung chance ko lang po kasi na makasama sa saigon.. Ang laking bagay na po sa akin yun eh.. Kung baga.. Wow.. Andito na ako..eto na yun..so ang gaan sa pakiramdam."
Then he ask me questions again. "Diba after mong mag saigon, you got the role of Eponine? Then the role of elphaba in wicked diba? So ano yung pakiramdam na you were really the next lea salonga because you also recieved prestigous awards that she once recieved and some would say na natapatan mo na siya?"
" ha?" I laughed. "hindi naman po siguro sa natapatan, siguro i just did my best on every performances. and Super.. Super lutang lang po Tito boy.. West end opened so much doors for me.. Sobrang gaan.. Yung feeling po na.. Ah I do belong here.."
Then he continued. "Shin, you guested on Ellen and ophra diba?'' I nooded. "Ano yung feeling na kilala ka na sa buong mundo na yung song mo na kinomposed mo eh alam na yata ng lahat ng Tao worldwide?!"
Before, I auditioned to sing to a revived version of a Disney princess character. But unfortunately, I failed. I questioned why? Is all my trainings not yet enough for the role? I get frustrated because that time I was still carrying Yzian and no one is there to be with me. Not even the father, well, I don't care now. But still, my faith doesn't down me. I got a call back. And the producer wants me to sing the official sound tract of a new Disney movie. And luckyly, it became a hit. A blockbuster hit. It is viewed over hundred countries and translated on 54 languages even the song I sang. And it reached the gross more than the disney's frozen. And this made me famous in states. I need to leave Yzian with her nanny with only weeks old because I need to earn money for her operation and for the both of us to live. And it brokes my heart into pieces knowing that I have to leave my sick child to a nanny because no one is there for us to do all of it. Until tanya came. Bumalik ulit siya sa london noon after ng contract niya sa New York and stayed with me ng Malaman niya lahat ng nangyari sa akin.
"Tito boy sobrang saya ako po na yung sinulat ko at kinanta ko eh maririnig ko sa Kung saan saan kinakanta..nakakaproud lang..and I've guested on two of the best know shows today diba. so nakakatuwa"
"Last question shin, bakit ka bumalik pa sa pilipinas knowing that you're a bigger star abroad than on this country?". This question, got me teary eyed.
"Kasi po Tito boy, with all the success that iam having now, may malaking parte parin sa buhay ko na wala pa.. Na kailangan ko pang mahanap.. And malaki narin yung pagkukulang ko sa pamilya ko. Marami ng events sa buhay nila na wala ako. Even yung closeness namin sa isat isa feeling ko wala na rin." holds my hand, look straight in my eyes and ask me a follow up question.
"May pinagsisisihan ba ang isang rachelle ann go?" This time I break down and cried.
"Marami Tito boy" hes still holding my hand.
"Siguro yun pong sana Hindi ako nagtiwala ng tuluyan sa isang Tao.." He handed me tissue paper and I wiped my tears.
"Sa lahat lahat na ng na abot mo ngayon, ano..sino yung nagpapalakas, nagpapatibay sayo?"
"Yung anak ko Tito boy." Ngumiti ako sa kanya ngunit nagpapadya nanaman ang mga Luha na pumatAk.
"May anak ka? Nag-ampon ka?" Sunod-sunod niyang tanong.
"No Tito boy, she's my biological daughter." I smiled at him. " she's three years old and she has a severe condition" tumulo na ang mga Luha ko.
"Tito boy siya yung Lakas ko. Siya yung buhay ko. Kaya kong I give up lahat para sa kanya.. I paused and wiped my tears.
.
.
Tito boy kaya kong iaalay yung buhay ko para sa kanya para lang mapahaba yung buhay niya. I closed my eyes as my tears can't stop from flowing, maybe because we're talking about my daughters life. Kapag anak ko na ang pinag-uusapan, Hindi ko maiwasang Hindi umiiyak.
.
.
"Because at her very young age.. Tito boy, may taning na ang buhay niya" he hugged me tight and there I cried for god knows how many minutes.
"Shin bat pa kayo umuwi? London might give the best medical assistance to your daughter
Ng mahimasmasan na
"You are so strong woman" I smiled. "Kung May dasal ka ngayon.. Ano yun?"
"Sana wag niyang pabayaan yung anak ko."
"Yun lang. And sana sa pagbalik kong Ito, sana mapatawad ako ng pamilya ko."
"Thank u for trusting me on this shin, iam very very proud of you! Welcome back to the philippines!! And I will pray for your daughter" he gave me the boquet of flower.
"Salamat din po ng sobra sobra". The interview has been wrapped then I immediately headed to the hospital.