It's been a year. It's been a wild effing year. I went through all this just to end up sick and agree to have Julian be our don until Ren gets back from whatever the hell she's doing. I can not believe I've gone through hell and back to realize no one will ever want me as their comare. I can't fathom how my grandmothers must have felt when no one wanted them to be comare. It makes me feel unwanted and invisible.
I can say something good came out of everything that's happened in the past year. Youngmin is now out of my life for good. Zachary and I were married some time ago, but now I'm sick. Lucio can't be near me, because it might be contagious. He's already one and getting into trouble. Julian has taken a liking to him and I'm sure if Ren doesn't want to be comare anymore, he's going to wait until Lucio is old enough to take the throne. I like the idea, but I'm not going to let my child take this from me either.
Hey, but at least no one blamed me for what happened to Ren. Dean promised that as long as I didn't mess with Ren again he wouldn't say a thing. I knew he had known I was lying, but I didn't peg him to be so nice. I think it was because Ren still believed I had nothing to do with it. I'm going to let her believe that as long as she lives. Julian even praised me for not being a total loss and helping her out. You know what that makes me?
A disappointment.
Speaking of utter disappointments: Dean killed Tyler. Like killed him with his bare hands. As in got Ren away from him and he went inside the room and beat him to a pulp. There was no funeral for him and it sort of made me glad. I heard from some of the staff that it looked like a bear attacked him. Hearing that alone made me both guilty and relieved. Not only did he get the death he wasn't hoping for, but people who had been hurt by him were compensated.
Devon was killed by Ren's fiancé. His entire force here in Milan were killed and the ones left in America were taken into government custody. Jae got out of this, because Ren knew her. There was no punishment for her betrayal. She did claim a lot of Tyler's assets, but sent the rest to the Italians and the American government. I guess it was her way of compensating for the pain she caused a lot of people and trying to get on her enemies' good sides.
"Now you come back?"
"Can I not visit my sister?"
"You lost that privilege along with coming into the mansion."
"You're not in charge here, Alex. Move or I'll move you."
My brothers were here. After everyone found out about what Alessandre had done, everyone was against him. Except for Julian and the staff. They adored him after Dean gave him all the credit for fighting off Tyler. Most of them have to know what really happened, but it seemed like he was the only one there when everyone began to show up. There's only four people who really know who did it.
And I ain't saying anything.
"Alessandre, I don't think she wants to see you again. After the stunt you pulled with betraying the Italian mafia..."
"She doesn't care. At least she's not the one I betrayed. I'm still her brother whether you like it or not."
The door opened and closed fast. It was as if they wanted to keep enough space in between them. I wasn't mad at Alessandre. Neither was anyone in the mansion. Alex was feeling betrayed and I could understand that. He assumed that since no one liked the Koreans, Aless wouldn't join them either. But people change. Just like my parents. They're with you one minute, then pretend you don't exist the next.
"Are you awake, Tia?" Alessandre asked.
I was tempted to say no and pretend to be asleep, but he hasn't done anything wrong to me.
"Yes." I turned over and smiled at him. "Don't mind Alex. He's just mad you made a decision without him. I told him people change, but he didn't think it would ever happen to you."
"I didn't do it to be different. I did it because I didn't feel like myself anymore. Nonno paid attention to me and all..." Aless sighed. "I felt like handling things for him wasn't what I wanted to do anymore. No one ever attacks his places as much anymore. They either come for help or promise not to cause trouble."
"Shouldn't you like it that calm? I thought you hated people who thought they could do whatever they wanted in Italy."
"I did until they just stopped. The Koreans and French get more people like that, because they don't have the right officers to keep them at bay. It's more exhilarating."
I know what he means. It was fun when I was plotting against people. Now that I'm bedridden and only have enough energy to go to the bathroom alone, nothing's fun anymore. I don't find excitement in seeing Zachary everyday. It was hilarious to play hide and seek with him. I know that sounds childish, but having to find him before he finds me is exhilarating.
"I understand why you did it, Aless." I sighed. "Alex doesn't. You have to sit him down on your own and make him understand. If I have to do it myself, I will."
"I have it, Tia. No worries. I came here to see if you were okay. I haven't seen you for over five months."
"I've been better. Bedridden, but better. I'm not dying or anything."
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A tickle interrupted the sleep I was finally enjoying. I tried not to move, wanting to keep the peace lingering in my mind. It started again. My nose. Then lips. Then chin. I really wanted to smack whatever was bothering me, but given the circumstances, my body ached at the slightest movements. That means a fan of my hand could hurt me.
My eyes fluttered open to find Zachary hovering over me with wide eyes. Like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't have. I forced a smile, silently asking what he wanted. He didn't answer but buried his head in my neck. I thought a scream of pain would escape me, but I felt the comfort in it this time. Nothing hurt.
"I'm going to murder you," I growled.
"How?" he taunted. "You can barely move."
"Are you really doing this to me? I already can't see my own kid and you're messing around."
"Or can you? Do you really think your condition is contagious? God, Cynthia, you are an idiot. Did you ever think I just wanted more alone time with you? Plus...think about how many more babies we could make."
"Stooooop," I whined.
Zach tugged at one of my twists and smiled. "I was kidding. Half-way, but...we've been married for a while now. Don't you think I should get some say in our sex life?"
I swear men don't understand when a woman needs to rest. I've been feeling like crap for nearly three months. Why would you suggest sex to me? Why would he pretend I'd never been in pain? He was a clueless man. Hopeless. Why do I love him?
"Baaaaaabe, as much as I want to, I can't. Didn't you hear what the doctor said?"
"I did, but I don't care. I want to feel loved, too." He pouted. I really wanted to laugh, but he wasn't deserving of one right now. "I've fluffed pillows for you. I've massaged your feet. I've even helped you bathe. What more do you want from me?"
"You really want to know?"
"Duh. That's why I asked."
"I want you to leave me alone. You ruined my sleeping schedule. Go play with Lucio or something."
Zach seemed to think over this command, but pretended he didn't hear me. His head dipped once more to attack my neck. Fine. I admit that I miss Zachary. I miss his touch. I miss feeling like I was the only woman he's ever looked at. Lord knows what he does while I'm holed up in this room. It's not like I wouldn't know. The maids like me enough again to tell me when he's trying to slip up.
I flexed my fingers to test out my diminishing aches. Nothing hurt. There was a little ache in my pinky, but I wouldn't have noticed it if I hadn't flexed the second time. I lifted my arm just out of Zach's sight and dared to smack him across the head. He only growled in response and grabbed my wrist.
"My baby's ready to play today, isn't she?" he asked slyly. "You're not in that much pain anymore."
"No. Zach, don't you dare do it," I warned halfheartedly.
"Oh? What are you gonna do about it?"
"...Try me."
Let's just say that everything didn't go according to plan. But, at least I finally got out of bed without any help. And without any pain piercing my beautiful body. The doctor was happy for me and even suggested I go outside for some fresh air. Best idea all day. Zach took me for a walk in the gardens and even tried to serenade me. Hilarious.
Lucio was waiting for us at the doors when we returned. He almost tripped trying to get to me, but held himself up and stumbled over. I picked him up and planted kisses all over his face. Now it would have been extremely sad if I suddenly got pain in my arms. Dropping him would be horrific and Zach probably wouldn't trust me with him again. Aren't we all glad that didn't happen?
"How's mommy's baby?" I cooed. "Have you been good for daddy?"
"Uh-oh." Lucio smiled.
"Literally the only word he knows," Zach mumbled. "Tried to teach him how to say 'yes' and 'no', but the kid looks at me like I'm dumb."
"Maybe because you are."
"...You just got laid and you want to talk crap? Testing the waters today, aren't you?"
"Oh, my gosh! Just take the child and go play." I shoved Lucio in his arms and walked inside. My maids flanked me and led me back to my room. "What's the deal?"
"Jung Ren has come back with Don Met'yuz. They want to have dinner at the mansion."
I nearly tripped over the carpet trying to comprehend what I'd just heard. Ren is coming back? And she's not alone? She's with the effing Russian mafia don! How was I supposed to prepare for that? When are they supposed to arrive? The universe is against me. No one wants me to be queen. Can't she just give up already? Why's she trying so hard to impress people?
"When will they arrive?" I asked.
"Nine. We have eight hours to get you ready."
Eight hours. I wanted some sleep. Julian said he needed to speak with me. It was better I waited to get dressed. Three hours out of the time I had left wasn't going to make me any less of a presentable woman.
"How about this..." I sat down on my bed. "I will get myself at least an hour and a half of rest. Then I have to speak with my cousin. After that, I'll call you and you can prepare me for anything. Sounds good?"
"The last time you said that, you were late for your own wedding," Zach said walking into the room. "We're not letting history repeat itself. Julian said he'd come your way."
"Now?"
"Of course now. You really think he's going to waste time?"
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"I know for sure he's going to ask about assets and how everything's going. You might not want to hold a grudge tonight. Upsetting Ren is the last thing you want to do in front of her fiancé's father."
"His father?" I squinted at my cousin.
"...Quentin Matthews has a son who happens to be the one you said indirectly proposed to Ren the night of the last mafia party," he said.
"That guy? He's the son of a mafia don?"
Julian nodded and looked me over. What? Is there something on my face? I tilted my head down to see if he really was looking at me and wasn't cockeyed. He only smiled like he knew what I was doing, and stood up. I watched as he made his way to my door.
"Don't forget anything I told you," he warned. "I can't have Russia getting cold feet tonight. Italy depends on them for weapons."
"Of course. I'm not that crazy."
How could I just lie like that? Julian seemed to notice it was a lie, because he opened his mouth to say something more. Before he could, the maids opened the door for him and practically shoved him out. I guess with the don being friendly with them before his crowning, it was okay to act like nothing changed. I like it.
"Okay, miss." One of the maids pulled me into the bathroom. "Bath first. We'll fix up your nails while you relax. Then, it's time to do something with your hair. We took your advice and we'll have a hairdresser come in and do something about it."
"Hey...I'm sorry about that. I should have taught you guys a little something." I sent them all kisses and a quick prayer to God, thanking him for letting me get up today.
"Never mind that, miss. Strip. We haven't much time. Don Russo left you with only two and a half hours to spare."
Two and a half hours? We talked for almost six hours? I hurried into the tub and immediately felt relaxed. The maids worked on my fingernails first. I happened to fall asleep during this and was rudely awakened. They forced me to leave the tub and wrapped me in a fuzzy bathrobe I knew was going to make me fall asleep again.
"Buonasera, signorina. Pronta per essere trasformata nel piatto principale di stasera?" Good evening, Miss. Ready to be turned into the main course for tonight?
"Lo sai."
The maids did an excellent job with getting me prepared for tonight. There was no way Ren was going to outshine me tonight. She already did so much by bringing the Don Matthews. It was my turn to make everyone look at me. It's been too long since I had any other human contact besides my cousins and Zachary. Tonight was going to go on my list as one of the best nights of my life. Maybe something great will happen to me.
My dress was a flowy jade green with random sparkles that caught the light at the right angles. Yeah, you're getting blinded if you're standing in the way. Nonno had a ring that Nonna used to wear. I was given that to join my wedding ring. My hair was pulled up into a loose bun with five or six stubborn curls, showing off my emerald earrings. Of course I was beautiful tonight. No one could compare.
Except for that cagna, Ren.
Her stupid pale yellow was much prettier next to my Jade green. Why? What is up with her and yellow? It looks so good on her! I could see her fiancé wasn't with her this time. It was the cutie from the mafia party. His hair was a little longer and pulled into a ponytail. His arm was around her waist, daring to drop further. I guess he was the backup plan. Did something go wrong with the engagement?
"Ren," I greeted happily. "I almost forgot about you."
"Wouldn't that be a shame?" She grinned and pulled me into a hug. "Where's Zachary? Is he busy again?"
"Of course not. He's on his way. He and my brother were checking out security before you got here."
"Ah, that is an important job."
I could hear the disgust in her voice. Important job? She was looking down on me and Zachary. I'd show her tonight that being me wasn't a bad thing.
Just as we were about to be seated, the door to the dining room opened. Don Matthews walked in with his head held high. I don't know who or what I was expecting, but dang. I was not prepared for the beauty I saw standing there. Zach's father was someone who was beyond the beauty standards. Different from the way I imagined him earlier.
His skin tone wasn't even dark. Anyone could tell he was from Russia. How was it that his son didn't even look like him? No striking blue eyes. No blonde hair. (Which was now a darker blonde and still looked good on him). I would definitely get in trouble for him. Or with him. His eyes traveled through the guests at the table before he walked to his seat.
I watched as his biceps clenched with the constant, almost subtle, movement of his arms. I saw Ren close her eyes for a beat too long. So she thought he was hot too? Huh...That's one point for me. You can't fall in love with your fiancé's father. He pulled out his chair and allowed us all to be seated. Julian looked as if he was going to take control of everything, but sat down with us. He's been overruled in his own home.
Pathetic.
"I'd like to thank Don Russo for inviting me into his home. My sincerest condolences to your family." I melted at the deep, husky sound of his voice. "Your dedushka was a good friend of mine."
"He was one of the best leaders of the Italian mafia," Julian proclaimed. He was seconded by many of his advisors.
"Also...Cynthia." My name rolled off his tongue like it belonged. I couldn't help but think he practiced saying my name. "I've heard many good things about you from him. Are your parents here tonight?"
"Un-unfortunately not," I stuttered. "It's just my husband and I."
"Well, I shall speak to you later. Please, enjoy this dinner your staff so kindly prepared on such short notice."
He took his seat and I praised the gods for my seat placement. As the cousin and closest advisor to the Italian don, I was seated on the right of Don Matthews. Julian was sitting across from me with Ren right next to him. I felt Don Matthews's knee brush my leg. Then his fingers grazed my thigh through the slit in my dress. My eyes widened as he took hold of my knee. I looked at him in fear. No one could know what was going on.
Don Matthews smirked and subtly placed a finger to his lips. For sure I'd keep my mouth shut. It was no one's business what was going on. This was so not the ending I was hoping for.
"Parliamone ancora... dopo, sì?" Don Matthews winked at me and started to eat like this was the most natural thing in the world. "Mia regina."
His queen.
My ears burned with excitement. Ha. Take that, Ren. I'm the don's mistress.
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Everything is done and I'm so happy, but this doesn't feel like a true ending. What happens to Youngmin? What happened to the men Cynthia's mother hurt in the past? Also, what happened to Cynthia's parents? How will Julian rule? Like...
Even though this hasn't been finalized with my co-author, I do believe we'll explain everything in like another book, but not another book. Does that even make sense? Like it will be a book, but not a book at the same time. Anyway, I do hope to see you guys in another book. Be safe and don't do anything we wouldn't do.
💦XÃÑĐŘÍĄ
Also....
I have come to the realization that Comare may not have the meaning I was intending for this book, but it makes perfect sense. Although the word may mean that the woman in this position is the mistress, you have to think about the situation. It can also mean godmother or co-madre. In terms of ruling, the next Comare is the godmother or co-madre of everyone under her rule. Also, if Cynthia were to become the next Comare, she would be the co-madre of her son, Christian. See? Makes plenty of sense.