Epilogue: "You're that "Once in a lifetime dream come true."
"Ate Tam, it's time to make a wish!" Maya exclaimed as she pulled me away from my friends and took me to the makeshift stage.
The brat I used to nurse has grown into a lovely woman. Until now, I still couldn't believe that I didn't recognize her the first time and even got jealous of her. The message I read from Shin's inbox was from her; it was around the time they were planning this surprise birthday party for me at the Hacienda Illustre.
I cleared my throat and held the mic close to my mouth. "Iniisip ko kung ano ba ang dapat kong i-wish, but then I realized that God has given me so much blessings already." Inilibot ko ang mga mata sa mga taong malalapit sa puso ko na nagpunta dito sa Hacienda para magselebra ng kaarawan ko. "Kaya naisip ko na sa halip na mag-wish ay gusto kong pasalamatan ang mga taong hindi ako iniwan kahit kailan."
"First and foremost, I wanna thank my pops." Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Hindi ko alam kung paano mo nagawa, pops, na maging tatay at nanay sa akin pero sobrang bilib ako sa'yo. Growing up, you made sure that I would never feel less of a person for not having moms: you've always been there to make me feel loved and cared for. Pinuno mo yung kakulangan sa pagkatao ko."
Huminga ako ng malalim dahil unti-unti ng nagkakaroon ng bikig sa lalamunan ko. "And for that, I wanna tell you how grateful I am for having the best pops in the world. I love you. Sobra-sobra, Pops!"
He nodded, teary-eyed. "I love you, nak."
Pasimple kong pinunasan ang mga namamasa kong mata. Then I turned to the two people beside pops. "Daddy Fred. Mama She. You are the best parents in law anyone could ever wish for. You accepted me into your family wholeheartedly and loved me as your own. Salamat sa pagmamahal ng buo sa akin kasama ang mga kapalpakan ko po." Umiiyak na natawa si mama She. "Mahal ko po kayo."
"We love you, too, Tamara," they said in unison.
"Jeremy, mahal din kita kahit madalas mo akong asarin," nakangising baling ko sa kanya. He just smirked back at me. "I just wanna tell you that I appreciate the care that you showed me when your kuya wasn't around. That time, pakiramdam ko ay nagkaroon ako ng kuya sa katauhan mo."
Napamaang ako ng magtawanan silang lahat.
"That only means I'm more mature than you, ate Tam." Napaingos ako. He scratched the back of his head. "And yeah, you're flawed and all, but I love you. Thanks for being the big sister I never had."
Sanay ako na lagi niya akong inaasar so for him to say that.. I was deeply moved. I took a deep breath and thanked ate Lottie and the rest of our helpers who have been with us for so long. They've become part of our family.
"I wanna thank my friends, too. You guys, are the best! Thank you for being there for me, through thick and thin. For cheering me up countless of times. And lastly, thank you for being my cheerleaders and bashers!"
"We love you, Tam!" they said simultaneously. Pabiro akong nagbow sa kanila.
And as my eyes found him, my mouth curved into a soft smile. "Hon-hon.."
I could think of a hundred of things to tell him, but ironically, I don't know where to start. Just thinking about the things we've been through is enough to bring tears to my eyes. "Nakakainis, hon-hon, naiiyak na ako agad," parang batang sumbong ko sa kanya.
The corners of his mouth slid upwards.
"Noon, ang buong akala ko ay mas mahal kita kesa sa mahal mo ako. Akala ko sa pagitan nating dalawa ay ako lagi iyong nagmamahal." I bit my lower lip, trying to hold my tears. "Mali pala ako. After all the obstacles and heartaches we've been through, I realized that your love for me is immeasurable, hon-hon."
"Thank you for understanding and remaining patient with me in my darkest hours. Thank you for staying and loving me even more during those times I couldn't even love myself. Thank you for fighting for me and making me feel that I'm worth it. I love you, hon-hon."
The look of love I saw in his eyes made me cry. Lumapit siya sa akin at niyakap ako. Isinubsob ko ang mukha sa dibdib niya. "I love you, hon-hon."
"I love you."
At ngayong nandiyan ka na,
'Di maipaliwanag ang nadarama
Handa ako sa walang hanggan
Hindi ka paasahin
'Di ka sasaktan
Mula noon hanggang ngayon
Ikaw at ako
I leaned against Shin as I listened to The Magnetic performing on the makeshift stage. Bumaling ako kay Shin ng halikan niya ang balikat ko. Ngumiti ako at niyakap ang mga braso niyang nakayakap sa beywang ko habang nakaupo ako sa kandungan niya.
At ngayong nandito na
Palaging hahawakan
Iyong mga kamay
'Di ka na mag-iisa
Sa hirap at ginhawa
Ay iibigan ka
Mula noon, hanggang ngayon
Ikaw at ako
"Why didn't you wish for a baby?" he asked, out of the blue.
"Gusto ko pa rin magka-baby pero kung hindi na ibibigay ni God, tanggap ko na, hon-hon. Siguro may iba Siyang plano para sa atin. Saka mahal mo naman ako kahit wala tayong baby, diba?"
"So much," he said then kissed me on the lips. Napangiti ako. "So does it mean that we won't try IVF anymore?"
The doctors gave us options that we could try to get pregnant. Dumating na ako sa punto na kahit ano ay handa ko ng gawin para lang magkaanak kami kaya sinabi ko kay Shin na gusto kong subukan ang IVF, and he agreed.
Matter of fact, we are set to fly to Spain, one of the top countries that excel in IVF treatment, next month for our IVF treatment.
Marahan akong umiling.
"Are you sure?"
I smiled and nodded. "Sure na sure! If, by chance, God decides to bless us with a baby, then we will be grateful and happy, but if not, we'll accept it and still be grateful."
He breathed out and looked at me tenderly. "You have really matured, honey."
I chuckled. Pagigil ko siyang pinaghahalikan sa mukha at leeg. "Hindi na ako parang bata?" He just tilted his head and smirked. "So, pwede mo na rin akong ulit dalhin 'doon'?" pilyang tanong ko sa kanya sabay taas-baba ng kilay.
Nawala ang ngiti niya. He cleared his throat. "Get up."
Nakangising tumayo ako. He got up from his seat, as well, then held my hand. Napahagikgik ako ng pasimple kaming tumakas sa birthday party ko. I suddenly shrieked when he carried me like a sack of rice.
I yelped when he spanked my butt. "Be quiet."
I couldn't stop giggling, and I was only silenced by his kisses. Every time our lips touch, I feel like I'm drowning because of so much love I feel for him. He angled his face so he could kiss me even more deeply.
The next thing I knew, I was already moaning and naked on top of the bed with him going in and out of my lady part. Malalim ang hininga na humawak siya sa beywang ko at mas nilagyan ng pwersa at mas pinalalim ang pagpasok niya.
"Hon-hon! Ah!"
We were both breathing hard after we came. Nanatili siyang nasa loob ko at nakadagan sa akin. Iniyakap ko ang mga braso sa kanya at hinalikan siya ng marahan sa labi.
"Honey, let's push through with our plan of going to Spain next month," he said while his fingers were lightly tracing my back. Kalahati ng katawan ko ay nakadagan sa kanya.
Napaangat ako ng tingin sa kanya. "Hmm? Pero diba hindi ko na itutuloy yung IVF."
"We haven't had the privilege of travelling together because of our respective work. I think it's time we do that."
My mouth curved into a big smile. "Gusto ko iyon, hon-hon!"
Ngumiti siya at hinaplos ang pisngi ko. I reached for his lips and gave him a soft a kiss which eventually turned passionate and deep.
After a month, we flew to Spain then to another country. For two months, we just travelled and explored beautiful places together.
I tried so hard to walk normally so Amara wouldn't be so worried about me. Pansamantala siyang nakatira sa amin. It was Shin who came up with the idea of us being Amara's foster parents. Sa ilang beses na pagdalawa namin sa orphanage ay naging malapit ang loob namin ni Amara sa isa't-isa
I suddenly winced as I felt a searing pain in my pelvis. Mabilis akong ngumiti para itago ang sakit ng nag-aalalang tumingin sa akin si Amara.
We were on our way back home from Sweet Refuge when saw a kitten up in the tree, crying. Lakas loob na inakyat ko ang puno at sinagip ang pusa. Unfortunately, namali ako ng tapak ng pababa na ako kaya nahulog ako. Buti na lang ay hindi kataasan ang binagsakan ko.
Nakita namin na naghihintay sa may gate si Shin. Bumitaw si Amara sa akin at patakbong lumapit kay Shin na kaagad naman siyang kinarga. "Where have you two been?"
"Sa Sweet Refuge po!"
Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti niya ng bumaling siya sa akin at napansin ang ngiwi ko habang naglalakad palapit sa kanila. "What happened to you?"
"Ah.. wa-"
"Nahulog po si mama Tam sa puno."
I secretly grimaced. His face turned serious. Alanganin akong ngumiti sa kanya habang ikinukwento ang nangyari. He sighed and told Amara to go inside. Napalabi ako dahil alam kong masesermunan na naman ako.
"Where does it hurt?" he asked without a trace of humor on his face as he checked my arms and legs.
"Balakang, hon-hon. Feeling ko may pasa ako," pag-amin ko.
"Let's go upstairs so I could check."
I nodded. Papasok na kami ng bahay ng pigilan niya ako sa braso habang kunot ang noong nakatingin sa may likod ko. "It's not your time of the month, is it?"
I shook my head. "Hindi pa nga dumadating kase irregular ang period ko, diba?"
Bigla siyang nag-angat ng tingin sa akin. "Where else does it hurt?"
"Sa balakang nga."
"Where else?" he pressed.
"Puson ko. Pero dahil lang sa period ko. I don't think it has something to do with my fall." Hindi siya kumibo pero nanatili ang kunot ng noo niya. "Hon-hon?"
"Wait for me here. I'll just get my car keys and go to the hospital."
My lips parted. "Hon-hon naman. That's unnecessary. Mababa lang naman iyong kinahulugan ko."
Despite my protest, he still took me to the hospital and have me checked. They even ran some tests on me. Dinala pa nila ako sa isang pribadong kwarto. Kanina ko pa inaayang umuwi si Shin pero umiiling lang siya. Napangiti ako ng pumasok ang doktor ko dahil alam ko na pareho namin alam na wala naman dahilan para manatili ako dito sa ospital.
"Pwede na po ba akong lumabas, dok?"
She nodded. "Pwede na, Tamara." Lihim akong nagdiwang sa narinig. "But you have to be very careful from now on," nakangiting dagdag niya.
Napatingin ako kay Shin ng hawakan niya ang kamay ko at dalhin sa labi niya. My forehead creased in confusion as he became teary eyed.
"Congratulations, Tamara; Miracles do happen." Naguguluhang bumaling ako sa doktor. "You're three months pregnant."
My lips parted. Natulala na lang ako sa narinig. Pregnant? Ako, buntis? But that was next to impossible. So how.. I turned to Shin and he nodded. Unti-unti ay namasa ang mga mata ko at naglaglagan sa pisngi ko.
With tears rolling down my cheeks, I touched my tummy gently, still couldn't believe that I'm really three months pregnant. Bigla akong natigilana at naalarma ng may naalala.
"Hon-hon!" I turned to him, panicking. "Hon-hon, n-nahulog ako sa puno.. S-si baby baka.." bigla akong napahagulgol.
He was quick to pull me in his arms. "Ssh.. our baby is fine, honey." Kinuha niya ang kamay ko at ibinalik sa tiyan ko. "Our baby is here safe and sound. Our little one is quite a fighter."
Umiiyak na tumango ako. "Our little miracle is a fighter."
Hinaplos-haplos ko ang tiyan habang umiiyak. Ang tagal kong inasam na magkaanak kami ni Shin. That's why it was so difficult to accept that there was a big chance of us not having a baby ever.
However, just when I had already accepted and given up the idea of motherhood.. here it is.. our little miracle.. A gift from God.
Writer's note:
And just because I can't get enough of them (and I think their story deserves a special chapter) so one last chapter.. and then it's a wrap.
Love,
Mjfelicity