i was swarming through my closet, throwing out any items of clothing i didn't like onto my bed.
tom was coming over at 8 so we could go run the "errands" before our lunch at 11.
to be fair, i did actually have to go to the store. i just didn't have anything else to do after that. i told him i had to go to the mall to get something for my "friends birthday"
little did he know i was only getting myself something there so we could waste our time.
i was actually quite excited for today. i haven't been out with a boy since ja- excuse me, i haven't been it with a boy in 3 years.
except, most people probably wouldn't consider this as "going out". mainly since he has a girlfriend and i'm pretty sure he still thinks i'm married.
i mean, i shouldn't blame him. i still wear my wedding ring everywhere. i couldn't bring myself to take it off yet.
i finally found an outfit that is actually somewhat descent. i smiled in relief as i immediately stripped down to put it on.
"sage!" i heard a familiar voice call from the living room.
"tom? how did you get in?" i yelled back as i tried to put my clothes back on before he walked in.
"you told me where the spare key was since you didn't know if you would wake up in time."
i cursed to myself as i tried putting on my clothes as fast as i could. i luckily managed to do so right before he opened my bedroom door.
"sage, i- what did you do to your room?" he looked in disgust as the clothes scattered everywhere, the wine on the bedside table and the messy covers.
"well, i have friends over late last evening who didn't bother to pick up what they left out." i lied. too bad i think he saw right through the lie.
"well, i think you need some better friends-" he spoke sarcastically.
"well, i think you need a better girlfriend-" i mumbled to where he wouldn't be able to hear me.
"what was that?" he asked curiously.
"don't worry about it," i smiled.
i followed him out to his car, of course he had the most expensive car i've probably ever seen.
"do you not like the car? we can take a differe-" he said hesitantly.
"tom, the car is fine. i just think you could've brought a car that's not...all that." he smiled in response.
"i'm tom felton, i can do whatever i please."
i rolled my eyes as we both sat in the car.
the entire car ride was an awkward silence. if silence could kill, it would have done so to us already.
"so..." he started awkwardly, "how's work been?"
"it's been good, i guess. i started traveling again a couple months ago after a little break."
"that's good, why did you take a break?" he asked.
"-it's complicated, i guess. i just needed the break." i lied.
"well, are you traveling any time soon?"
"i am going to italy in a couple of weeks. there's a farm that's been having a disease spread among the animals. they need me to come up and check on them." i explained.
"wouldn't an animal disease be urgent?"
"it depends. the type that these animals have won't hurt them quickly. if they do die, it would happen till after about 6 months," i spoke, "they will be fine until i get there."
"that's nice, i guess" he responded awkwardly.
"yeah, i heard you are proposing to jade..."
he looked at me quickly, stopping the car. the person behind us started honking. tom looked back at the road and continued driving.
"yeah, i was planning on doing it at thanksgiving." he spoke with an almost broken voice.
"i'm happy for you, tom. i hope it works out" i spoke quietly, think back to how my marriage ended up.
"yeah, i hope so too."
neither of us dared to speak after that. i realized i probably shouldn't have mentioned it to him.
"we are here." he spoke as i saw the store in front of us. "you can go on in, i have to make a call so i'll stay out here."
i knew he was lying.
"okay," i mumbled.
in the store, i practically wasted 2 hours in there. i didn't want to go back into the car, so i went down multiple isles, just looking at the nutrition facts to waste time.
the only thing i ended up getting was a soft green blanket and some more wine. it didn't occur to me originally that i would have to leave the groceries in the car for a couple of hours.
i looked down at my phone which said 10:00 am. perfect, we only have an hour left.
as i was checking out, i heard someone call out my name. i look to the side to see an old friend of mine from highschool, benji.
"oh my goodness," i said with a smile on my face, "if it isn't benji weston. i almost didn't recognize you with the new hair."
back in school, he had ginger hair. when me and tom were still friends, he would call benji a weasley. although, benji never understood what he meant considering he hadn't seen a single harry potter film.
now, he was a lot taller, and very muscular. his hair was a dark shade of black that complimented his blue eyes very well.
i had actually met him through jack originally. he would come over for game nights in the basement while me and bella would watch movies upstairs.
"yeah, well i almost didn't recognize you with straight hair. it's hard to imagine you without curls." he spoke back in the same tone.
i had this phase that lasted very long where i would put my hair on curlers every single night before bed. i always thought they looked so cool, but it turned out not really.
"i guess we both grew up then, huh?" i joked. i noticed the smile on his face fall.
"how have you been since...you kn-" he tried to speak before i interrupted him.
"it's been difficult, but i can't stay stuck on the past. yet, no matter what i do, i feel like i don't have a choice. it's like they follow me around everywhere." i spoke almost scared.
"i still feel horrible, i could've done someth-"
"there was nothing either of us could do. it's what God thought was best for us, so i feel like we should trust him on this. no matter how hard it may be."
me, jack and benji always visited the church. benji was into christianity more than anything. he was always the one to get us back on our feet, but sometimes we needed to do it to him too.
"would you like to go out to lunch right now? i don't have to go to work 'till 2?" he suggested.
"unfortunately, i already have plans," he frowned, "but i'm going to my mothers tomorrow to have lunch. i bet she would love to see you."
my mother took a special interest in benji, mainly because he was more of a role model to me. he showed me how to stay away from the bad peer pressure you get as a teenager.
that's why my mother liked him so much.
"i would love to, just give me a call." he said as he started to walk away, but turned around once more, "also remember that i am always here if you need anything."
i smiled and nodded as we both walked in different directions.
i finally walked out to the car to see tom slowly falling asleep in the seat. i rolled my eyes and knocked on the door, causing him to jump.
"unlock the car," i yelled at him through the window. he did as i said and i got in the car.
"what took you so long? i thought you died or something in there-" he said angrily.
"i was catching up with an old friend-"
"what friend?" he demanded to know. why was he so angry?
"remember benji?" i asked. he had a confused look on his face. "of course you don't. he's an old friend that you actually know, but he probably wasn't that special for you to remember."
"what did he look like?" he finally asked.
"he had the red hair and you would always call him 'weas-"
"benji weston? holy shi-" i gave him a hard look before he cussed, "sorry, but that's crazy."
"yeah, i'm actually going to hang out with him tomorrow-" i said with a smile on my face. i saw toms smile fade.
"that's nice... well we should get going. my mom said she left the house early so we can head over." he said harshly.
'this man needs to fix his attitude...' i thought to myself.
we drove to the restaurant in complete silence. to calm myself down, i kept repeating the words 'at least jade isn't here' over and over again in my head.
i was actually excited to see benji again after all this time. it's been at least 2 years since i have seen him. the last time wasn't exactly a fun occasion either.
i always loved benji, in a role model way. if you needed help, he would be there for you. that's what i always admired about him. his heart was too pure for this world.
i could sense a hint of jealousy in tom's voice when i told him. i couldn't understand why, it wasn't like he actually cared about me.
let's face it, the only reason he invited me to this lunch is because his mother probably told him to do so.
part of me actually wanted to tell tom about jack and bella. yet, i felt like he didn't deserve to know.
he didn't show up to my wedding.
he didn't answer a single call.
he hadn't spoken to me in 10 years.
he only learned about jack and bella from his mother.
what kind of friend does that? if they do that, they shouldn't be considered a friend at all.
part of me still felt like i should tell him. i know he's been on the edge of his seat, dying to find out. too bad for him, i enjoyed the show.
i was grateful that nobody else told him. apparently he asked every single person i knew.
i didn't understand why he even wanted to know so badly in the first place. it's not like it's a story a common man wants to here.
it's not even a story someone like me ever wants to hear or tell anyone.
"we are here..." he spoke harshly again while getting out of the car quickly. i saw him walk swiftly over to his mother that was standing by the front door.
i took my sweet time getting out of his car just to piss him off even more. i could see the look of annoyance on his face every time i stopped to do something while walking over to the building.
"sage, dear!" sharon said happily as she joined me in a hug.
"hey mum," i replied in the same tone.
"i am so glad you could join us. i suggested it to tom since i know you didn't have work today."
i knew he didn't invite me himself.
"well i'm glad he did, i don't get out for lunches very often." i tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible.
"can we head inside now? i think it's starting to rain-" tom interrupted.
"a little rain never hurt anyone..." i argued back.
"sage is right, tom. but i do think we should head inside, i am quite tired of standing. i don't recommend wearing heels for a regular outing."
the entire lunch was me and sharon talking. tom stayed quietly, looking down at the plate of food he obviously wasn't interested in.
i was actually happy i could barge in on tom's lunch. he seemed to not be enjoying himself, and that's exactly what i strived for in life.
"so, sage-" sharon spoke again, "i heard you are going to your mothers house again tomorrow."
"yes i am, and i'm actually bringing a friend with me." i mumbled as i kept eating my salad.
"well, who is the lucky person?"
"benji weston-" i replied as she had a happy smile on her face.
"oh my goodness. i haven't seen him since the-" she stopped herself before she could finish the last word. "i can't wait to see him again, dear."
i could tell by the look on tom's face that he was disappointed that his mother didn't finish her sentence. if she did, it would have given him some sort of him about what everyone has been hiding from him.
i didn't care, though. i was really excited to see benji again, and tom could continue to live his life without me in it.