It's blindingly white everywhere besides a few splotches of color here and there: the blue chairs in the waiting area, soft and squishy easy to sink into, and the vibrant blue sky displayed through the massive windows. People walk to and fro on the pristine, cream colored hallways, murmuring quietly, professionals at work. The aroma of coffee wafts out from a quaint little café at the corner selling chocolate chip cookies and palm sized chocolate covered coconut macrons. A little red headed twerp is currently begging for one. His mother smiles at him distractedly, a wrinkle in her brow, her hands fidgeting nervously. I hate it. I hate it because, for all the effort people have taken in making it look clean and comfortable, even under the guise of elegance and beauty, a hospital can never be anything but a hospital.
I blink and return to the present, stepping forward to knock on the blindingly white door adjacent to a little sign: 262. I knock twice. No response. Should I try again? She probably can't hear me. I inhale. Then, before I have a chance to overthink it I open the door and step inside.
As soon as I look up our eyes meet and that familiar sweet smile slowly blooms on her gnarled face, partially blocked by a nasal cannula.
"Ramayan!" My lips curl up into a half smile of my own, eyebrows still furrowed. I probably look like that lady in the shop right now.
"Patti."
My grandmother has pancreatic cancer. Only 6% of those diagnosed with it survive past five years. She was diagnosed one year ago and by some miracle she's made it through until now.
"Come...come here. Tell me how you have been." I walk over to her, examining every inch of her shrunken figure as I do so.
"I-I've been good Patti, I've been good. How have you been?" Idiot. How do you expect her to answer? I've been struggling through each day, hardly knowing if I'm going to make it to the next?
"Good, good. You're Amma came to visit me. She brought me an I-I-I what was it?"
"I-phone? I-pad?"
"Ah I-pad! Yes, yes. I was watching some television."
"Really? What did you watch?"
"You're Amma brought me my serial. You know "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi"?" Ah, "Because a Mother-in-law Was Once a Daughter In Law too" Patti's obsession.
The show is a classic sob story soap opera about a man who falls in love with a poor girl rather than an arrogant rich one against the wishes of his mother. His mother then conspires to ruin her new daughter-in-law's life however the guy goes off and nearly dies, losing his memory in the process? There's also several sudden pregnancies involving multiple girls but the same guy in if I remember correctly...
However, my faulty memory is soon refreshed as Patti proceeds to narrate the whole plot to me for the nth time.
"...that's why Ramayan, you should be loyal to your wife and take care of her. Of course, she shouldn't be a scheming woman like that Mandira."
"...Ah?" I blink, wondering how the conversation has reached this point. When did it come to my love life?
"Ramayan, your Amma was just telling me..." I massage my eyebrows. Amma, I knew it.
"...she's a nice girl your Amma was saying. She's a writer and..."
I feel a head ache coming on as I watch her smile with glittering eyes. Patti, your grandson is currently living with a guy who may or may not be interested in him romantically. And anyway, you're grandson isn't interested in getting married right now even if he did have a girl he liked, his career is just getting started.
"...and I heard your Amma say she makes holes in her vadas when frying, just the way you like them..." At her mention of food, I glance down at the plastic bag in my hands.
"Ah, Patti?"
"Yes?"
"I made you some sambar rice." Her eyes alight as I hand her the container. The first time I made food for Patti she was stunned, since I'm after all a man. However, now she's gotten pretty used to it. As I hand her the container, she reaches for it, places it on her lap, opens it, and scoops out a bit.
"Patti maybe you should wai-" As soon as she fills her mouth she breaks out into a furious coughing fit.
Cough! Cough! Coughcough! The sambar rice dribbles out of her mouth and down her chin, dripping onto her glittering magenta sari. I hastily grab some tissues and dab at her clothes with one hand while the other soothingly pats her back.
Cough! Cough! Once the coughs die down, she takes a couple of deep breaths.
"Sorry Ramayan, I don't think I can eat now-"
"That's okay! That's okay, it's totally fine. Take your time, there's no problem at all! Um, Patti were you watching any other shows besides "Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi"? Or now that that's finished are you going to watch something else?"
"Oh, yes..." her eyes alight as she describes the other shows she's excited about watching. I periodically nod, an absentminded smile on my face and my brow creased with worry.
Some time later the visit ends and I say goodbye.
"I'll be leaving now Patti."
"Good, good, come again soon Ramayan!"
"I will!" I wave, the smile still plastered on my face. Then I open the door and step outside, glancing once again at the little gray plaque with 262. The smile has vanished, my face carries an expressionless mask, as if it was always that way.