creds to @Dogsarethebest13 for helping me with this chapter. thank you so much for helping me bring Erin's story to life.
PS: don't hate us :)
-----------------------------------
"Well, do you want to talk about it?" Meredith broke the silence as she, Erin and Cristina walked up the stairs to the catwalk.
"No," Cristina said.
"Owen, I mean," Meredith said.
"I know what you mean. I don't want to- I, um, I-I can't. It's just... Okay, he doesn't know, you know, who he loves, and if it's not me, then... I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about something else," Cristina said.
"Okay. You realize, you're about to be a godmother?" Meredith said.
"Hey!" Erin whined.
"You're godmother, too. You called godmother first when you were ten," Meredith rolled her eyes fondly.
"I'm godmother, too?" Cristina laughed. "Okay, what do I have to do? Like, talk god to the fetus? 'cause I'm not gonna do that," Cristina said.
"It means, you take care of the kid if I die," Meredith said.
"Derek takes care of the kid if you die. And then Erin," Cristina said.
"If we die, if we die," Meredith said.
"Okay, so," Cristina laughed. "If you and Derek are in a plane crash and you die, the kid is mine?" Cristina asked.
"Ours," Erin corrected her.
"Yes," Meredith said.
"I have to admit, I kinda hope, uh, you and Derek die, just a little bit, so I can raise the kid with decent priorities," Cristina said.
"I have priorities," Meredith said.
"Oh?" Erin laughed.
"Surgery," Meredith said.
"Oh, okay, then," Cristina laughed. "You can raise a good little surgeon. I take it back," Cristina said. The door of the hallway to Derek's office opened and he stepped out.
"Hey," Erin smiled.
"What are you doing here?" Derek said.
"Uh, walkin'," Cristina said.
"We're in lockdown," Derek said.
"Yeah, we're not walking outside," Cristina scoffed.
"That's not what lockdown means. It means stay where you are," Derek frowned.
"Did you know that's what it-" Meredith started.
"No, I thought it meant-" Erin said.
"Stay here. Get in here," Derek grabbed them and pushed them into a supply closet.
"What?" Meredith asked.
"Why are we-" Erin tried.
"There's a shooter loose in the hospital," Derek hissed.
"What?" they gasped.
"Stay here. Don't move. I'll come back and get you when it's clear. Just stay here. Don't move," Derek closed the door and disappeared from view. Erin turned to her sister and friend with wide eyes.
"A shooter?" she whispered.
"Hey, it'll be fine. We're safe here," Meredith said quickly, grabbing Erin's hand. She nodded slowly.
"Yeah. We are," she said.
"Ugh," Meredith groaned, hunched over a bucket they'd found for her to vomit into.
"You okay?" Cristina asked.
"I've been hurling every day this week around-" Meredith checked her watch, "Yep, right on schedule," she said.
"My morning sickness was terrible, too," Erin rolled her eyes.
"Okay, we gotta get outta here, 'cause, uh, I'm not staying in here after you stink up this place with your vomit," Cristina said. She walked to the door and peered out, sucking in a deep breath. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. Meredith, Erin, get down," Cristina whispered.
"What?" they said.
"Shh. Shh," Cristina hissed, waving them to get down. They crouched down and Cristina ducked out of view of the window.
"I don't-" Erin tried.
"Shh," Cristina hissed. They fell silent and listened until the footsteps passed. "That's the guy from the elevator," she whispered.
"What do you mean?" Meredith whispered.
"It's the guy from the elevator. He asked me for directions, how to get to the chief's office," Cristina whispered.
"I-I don't," Meredith stuttered.
"Meredith, the guy with the gun is looking for Derek," Cristina hissed. Meredith's face dropped and she vomited into the bucket again.
"Oh, shit," Erin whispered.
The three girls crept around the corner, hands tightly intertwined, the catwalk coming into view. Derek was stood in the center of it, opposite a man pointing a gun at his head.
"Oh, my god," Cristina whispered, pulling the two of them back out of view.
"Oh, god," Meredith panted.
They watched as the man talked to Derek, his hand shaking with the gun. Meredith tried to creep around the corner again but Erin grabbed her and pulled her back.
"No," Cristina hissed.
"No, no, no, no, no," Erin whispered softly, holding Meredith's back to her chest so she wouldn't run to him.
"Stay here," Cristina whispered.
"You don't get to be god! No talking!" the man shouted. They jumped in surprise.
Derek started saying something to the man, lowering his hands slowly. Erin tightened her grip on Meredith's arms. The man with the gun slowly started lowering the gun and they crept forward a little bit more to see better.
The door to the corridor opened and April Kepner stepped out, saying something. They couldn't hear her because they were so far away.
Derek turned and the man raised the gun, firing as Derek turned back to look at him.
Meredith and Derek both let out cries, Derek's one of pain and Meredith's one of shock.
Derek fell onto the floor and Cristina grabbed Meredith, helping Erin drag her back from the catwalk as she screamed. April ran over to Derek, the man raising the gun again.
"Meredith, Meredith, you have to be quiet! He'll find us!" Erin cried, feeling tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared at Derek's body across from them.
"We have to go," Cristina hissed, tugging them away and into a closet.
Meredith started pacing angrily, hands tight in her hair.
"Derek could still be alive," Meredith cried.
"We could get shot," Cristina shouted.
"I'm going, Cristina. I am going," Meredith said firmly.
"No, no, no, no, you are not," Cristina body blocked the door. "Please. You'll get killed, and I'm not gonna let that happen. You want to go, you gotta go through me," Cristina said. Erin looked at Meredith and nodded. Meredith grabbed Cristina and pushed her into Erin's arms. Erin pushed Cristina to the wall.
"Call the police," Erin said, running out of the room after Meredith.
Meredith was already far ahead of her so by the time Erin got there, she had stopped to grab a wheelchair on the way. She'd found April, there, too.
"April, come on!" she hissed. April stared at her and Erin groaned, grabbing her hand and yanking her to her feet. "April, this is terrifying, I know, but we need your help to save Derek and I need you to help me now," Erin cried.
"Okay," April whispered, following Erin to the catwalk. Cristina was there with Meredith.
"We're going to the OR. Teddy's down there, she can operate," Cristina said. They nodded and started heaving Derek up into the wheelchair.
"Mer, you, um, you prep him with Erin, and April and I are gonna go find teddy. She should still be on this floor," Cristina said. She, Meredith, Erin, April and Derek were with in the OR, Derek on the table.
"Okay," Meredith whispered. Erin grabbed her shaky hands quickly.
"Okay, everything is gonna be fine. Okay, Mermaid? I promise," Erin whispered. Meredith nodded with teary eyes.
"Okay," she said.
Erin looked at April and Cristina, stopping them before they left the OR.
"He's gonna need blood," Erin whispered.
"A lot of it," April whispered in agreement.
"We'll see how much we have down here before we make a decision about going to get some," Cristina whispered.
"Okay," Erin whispered, watching the two of them leave the room.
"April," Cristina said as Erin walked into the scrub room in her surgical gear. "Meredith is gonna sit here on the floor. Erin, too. I want you to stay with them. If they try to enter my OR or even if they look like they're gonna get up to take a peek, I want you to stop them, okay? I don't care how. You stop them," Cristina said seriously.
"Okay," April mumbled.
"He is my husband," Meredith cried.
"Do you want me to kill him? Okay? Is that what you want? I will do very best work. But please, Meredith, I am begging you, sit down and wait," Cristina grabbed her hands. Meredith nodded reluctantly and sat herself down on the floor.
"I can help, Cristina," Erin said.
"You can't. You have to be here for Meredith right now," Cristina said.
"I can help!" Erin said loudly.
"Erin," Jackson appeared in the door of the scrub room. "You have to stay with Meredith. We'll operate on Derek but you have to stay here," Jackson said.
"He's my brother!" Erin hissed.
"And you can't operate on family. Your sister needs you. Sit down, hold her hand and shut up," Jackson said firmly. Erin stared at him for a minute before nodding, sitting down beside Meredith and grabbing her hand. Cristina and Jackson shared a look before starting to scrub in.
"What about blood?" Erin said.
"What about it?" Meredith said sharply.
"Do we have enough?" Erin asked.
"We have some," Jackson said.
"I'll go and get some more," Erin stood up, pulling her surgical gear off.
"No!" Meredith cried.
"Do you want him to die?" Erin said loudly.
"No," Meredith shook her head.
"Then you stay here with April and I will go and get his blood," Erin said seriously.
"You could die," Meredith shook her head.
"So could Derek and, right now, the chances of him dying in surgery are a lot higher than me dying by the shooter. I'm gonna go and find the blood and we are gonna save his life," Erin said to Meredith.
Meredith stared at her for a minute before nodding once.
"Promise me that you'll come back?" Meredith said.
"I promise, Mermaid. I'll be right back," Erin said.
"Be careful," Cristina said, tears in her eyes as she watched the sisters interact.
"I will. Promise," Erin said.
She took a deep breath and pulled open the door of the scrub room, slipping out into the OR floor hallway.
Erin crept down the hallway towards the stairs, knowing that the elevator was probably shut off if they were in lockdown to prevent anybody from moving around. Her heart was pounding and her hands were sweaty as she pulled open the door to the staircase.
She had no idea where anybody else was. For all she knew, her sister, her best friends, her teachers, anyone she loved could be dead. She had no idea if Lexie was safe, if Alex was alone or if Mark was okay. She had no idea where Arizona was, or Callie, or Bailey or Webber, or Hunt and Teddy Altman. It was terrifying and the idea of anything happening to anyone and her not knowing made her feel sick.
She took another deep breath, forcing herself to push it all down. She had to be strong so she could get the blood for Derek, because Derek might die without it and the last thing Meredith needed was to lose her husband and raise their child as an orphan.
She had to be strong, and being strong meant ignoring everything that was wrong until she could show weakness again. That wouldn't be for a while, so Erin forced it all down. She lifted her head, eyes sharp and ears alert for any sign of other human life. She wasn't going to die today and, if she did, she was going to go out with a fight.
Erin carried the blood in her arms, checking around corners as she walked from the blood bank back towards the OR floor. She only had a few more hallways to go before she reached the stairs and she could get to Derek's OR to give Cristina and Jackson the blood.
She heard footsteps and she flattened herself against the wall, cursing that there were no cupboards or closets for her to hide in. This hallway was empty and Erin scoffed silently. That was very un-hospital like.
A man stepped around the corner, staring at Erin with the bags of blood in her arms. He had greying hair and was wearing a brown jacket, his hands in his pockets. His eyes, though, were the thing that made Erin realise exactly who he was. He was the same man that had shot Derek on the catwalk.
His eyes were cold, lifeless, almost dead. His pocket had the outline of a gun in and she knew that he was going to kill her.
"Where is Chief Shepherd?" the man said.
"I don't know," Erin whispered, voice trembling as she forced down the tears.
"You do. I saw you talking to him on the day he killed my wife. Where is he?" the man pulled his gun out, pointing it at Erin's head.
Erin's mouth dropped open and they could both hear her ragged breaths echoing through the empty hallway.
"You want to kill him because he gave the order to pull the plug on your wife, right?" she said.
"He killed her!" the man shouted, making Erin flinch backwards. The blood bags fell onto the floor, a few of them bursting at her feet and making the floor look like a murder scene.
She figured that, if she didn't play this right, it would be her murder scene in a few seconds.
"I know how you feel," Erin said. The first few tears slid down her face but she didn't move to wipe them. She needed to appear human to this man, because she'd read that shooters were less likely to kill you if you told them personal information and related yourself to their pain.
"You do?" the man scoffed.
"I lost my baby," Erin whispered. "Quinn. I miscarried. My mom was sick, really sick, and she was admitted. She started screaming at me and I had a panic attack. My, uh, placenta ruptured and I lost her. I, I got to hold her the next day when I woke up from surgery and I got to say goodbye. I lost my baby girl and I know how it feels to lose a part of yourself to this hospital," Erin said.
His gun lowered slightly and she felt a small burst of relief.
She knew he was still going to kill Derek if he found him, though, so Erin took another deep breath and did what she had to do to save her brother's life.
"You want to make Derek pay, right?" she said, voice high and shaky.
"He killed my wife. He deserves to pay," he said lowly.
"Derek, he's married to my, uh, my big sister. Meredith. She raised me, 'cause our mom was really bad. I'm, I'm his favourite sister. He told me about your case. Lexie Grey, she pulled the plug, that's my big sister, too. And Richard Webber, he's like my father. If you want them to pay for what they did, you don't want to kill them," Erin said.
"I don't?" the man raised his eyebrows, raising his gun back up to her chest.
"No, you don't," Erin whispered. "You don't want to kill them. That'd be too easy, right? I mean, they'll just be dead. They won't know how it feels to lose someone you care about because they'll be dead. Right?" Erin said.
She knew she sounded hysterical, almost crazy, but she had to do something to keep this man from killing her family.
"Right," the man said slowly, tears filling his eyes.
"If you want them to pay, you should take something from them, the same way that they took something from you. If you want them to hurt, you should kill me. Derek was gonna walk me down the aisle if I ever got married. Lexie, she hasn't had enough time with me. Richard, I only let him be a real part of my life a few months ago. If you want to hurt them, you should kill me. Take someone from them, the same way they took Allison from you, Mr. Clarke," Erin said.
They stood in silence for a minute, Erin's entire body trembling as she waited for Mr. Clarke to make a decision on what to do. His eyes met hers and she exhaled slowly. She was going to die today. She knew that just by the look on his face.
Gary Clarke's finger moved to the trigger and he fired twice at Erin.
Erin gasped as the burning sensation rippled up her side. She couldn't hear anything but her heartbeat in her head. Her hands numbly found their way to the lowest wound on her right side, pressing against it and feeling the warm blood start to leak through her fingers.
She used her left hand to move up to the other bullet, just below her heart. Her eyes were blurry and Gary Clarke was slowly turning from one figure into three, shaking as he watched her face drain of colour.
Her knees wobbled and gave in. She landed on the floor, hands slipping in the blood bags on the floor as she tried to breathe through the intense pain in her chest. She pushed herself back onto her knees.
Gary Clarke looked at her before turning, walking away from her with his gun still in his hand.
Erin watched him reach the end of the hallway before her eyes rolled back in her head, body slumping against the floor as she fell unconscious in the puddle of blood belonging to both herself and the blood bank.
Erin's eyes fluttered open as she felt a sharp pain through her chest. She groaned weakly, putting a hand over her blood soaked scrub-top.
She had landed beside the wall, so she forced herself to sit up. She leaned against the wall for a minute to get as much breath in her burning lungs as she could before she started to get to her feet.
Her hands smeared blood against the white paint as she regained her balance, feet dragging as she limped down the hallway.
There was a trail of blood on the floor and the walls as she reached the end of the hallway, where she found a closet full of surgical supplies. She pushed the door open, blinking a few times as she tried to force her eyes to stay steady so she could find what she needed.
She grabbed gauze, packing, tape, an IV kit and a bag of LR. She slumped down against the floor, hands shaking as she got the needle ready to put the IV in.
"Okay, Erin," Erin mumbled to herself, though it sounded more like a slur. "You can do this. You're fine. You're fine," Erin said.
She pushed the needle into her vein, wincing as she reached up to put the bag on the shelf behind her so the fluid would be able to get in easier.
Her breathing was ragged as she pulled her shirt up, hands shaking as she packed the wounds. She put the gauze over and taped them down, letting her shirt drop again. Her phone was in her pocket and she pulled it out, blood covered hands fumbling as she tried to unlock it.
She put the phone to her ear, waiting for 911 to pick up.
"911, what's your emergency?" the operator said.
"Erin Grey, I'm Erin. He shot me. I'm a surgeon. He shot me," Erin mumbled.
"Are you at Seattle Grace Mercy West?" the operator asked.
"Yeah. He's looking for Derek, but Derek is in the OR. He's gonna kill him. He shot me twice. I'm gonna die," Erin whispered.
"Erin, we're going to get you out of there. Can you give us your location so we can send SWAT to find you?" the operator asked.
The phone dropped to the floor, splashing blood from Erin's wounds and clothes onto her skin. Her head lolled back against the shelf as her eyes rolled back into her head again. She fell unconscious for the second time, this time from the blood loss and stress on her body from having moved from where she was shot.
"Erin? Erin, are you there?" the operator said, but Erin didn't answer.
"Has anybody seen Erin?" Arizona asked the doctors, nurses and officers as she and Callie were evacuated out of the hospital.
"Erin Grey?" an officer said.
"Yes! Where is she?" Arizona said quickly.
"She called in about half an hour ago," the officer said, a grim look coming across his face. "She was shot twice by Gary Clarke," he said.
Arizona felt her hand slip out of Callie's, the blood draining from her face.
"No," Arizona whispered.
She turned around, running through the crowd and right back into the hospital they'd just evacuated.
"Arizona!" Callie shouted, trying to run after her. The officer grabbed her, pushing her back towards another few officers.
"Ma'am, you cannot go in there. It's not safe until we've secured the shooter," he said.
"One of my best friends could be dead anywhere in that hospital and I don't see anybody here trying to save her life!" Callie shouted loudly. "You have to save her," she said, face falling as the first tears of the day started making their way down her cheeks. "It's Baby Grey. You have to save her," she whispered.
"We're going to do everything we can, ma'am. Let us work," the officer said.
"Erin!" Arizona yelled as she searched the hospital floor for Erin.
She had been heading to find Meredith when Arizona had last seen her, and Meredith had apparently been looking for Derek. Derek would've been in his office, but then he had announced the lockdown so Arizona knew Erin could literally be anywhere in the hospital right now, and she had been shot twice, too.
"Erin!" Arizona shouted, voice echoing around the empty hallways.
She heard heavy footsteps and she ducked behind a nurses desk, seeing SWAT members pushing a gurney with Derek lying on it past her. Cristina and Jackson were with them, along with Meredith, who's pants were stained with blood, April, Owen in a sling and a few surgical nurses.
"Meredith," Arizona hissed.
Meredith looked at the desk, seeing Arizona kneeling behind it.
"Where the hell is Erin?" she asked. Meredith nodded at Cristina to keep an eye on Derek and knelt behind the desk with Arizona, the two of them waiting for the SWAT members to leave their line of sight before they could move.
"She was getting blood for Derek and she didn't come back. She must still be down there," Meredith whispered.
"The officer outside said that she called in, said she'd been shot twice," Arizona whispered.
Meredith's face dropped.
"No," Meredith whispered.
"Let's go," Arizona grabbed Meredith's hand in hers, the two of them running towards the stairs to get to the blood bank to find Erin.
Bailey walked down the hallway towards the blood bank, feet moving on autopilot as she tried to ignore the sounds of Charles Percy's last words echoing around her brain.
She stepped into something wet, the splashing sound making her eyes drop down in surprise.
There was an enormous puddle of blood on the floor, with several empty blood bags in it. She frowned, following the trail of blood to a body-shaped stain on the wall. There were blood stains along the surface, like someone had dragged themselves along with the wall for support.
They stopped outside of a supply closet, and the door was open. Bailey frowned, but stepped closer slowly. She didn't know what she was going to find but she also knew that this could be anyone, including any one of her remaining babies.
Her mouth fell open when she saw who it was.
Erin Grey was slumped against one of the shelves, an empty LR bag elevated above her head with the IV still in her left arm. Her eyes were closed but she was still breathing shallowly, body shaking from blood loss and cold.
She had blood all over her, but Bailey could see two spots on her shirt where it was clear Erin had packed some wounds.
Bailey grabbed another bag of LR and swapped the bag Erin had emptied, feeling her neck for her pulse. Her skin was soaked with sweat but was freezing to the touch. She grabbed an oxygen mask and a tank and put it over Erin's face.
"You're gonna be okay," Bailey whispered to herself. "Erin, wake up," she said, gently patting Erin's cheeks.
Erin's eyes slowly blinked open and a tired smile came across her face. Her hands came up, one shakily pulling the mask down enough to talk.
"Mama B," she rasped. "Am I dead?" she asked.
"No, and you are not going to die. I'm going to get blood. What type are you?" she asked.
"A positive," Erin winced as a dull thud echoed through her chest. "He shot me. Twice. And he shot Derek," she said.
Bailey moved to stand up but Erin grabbed her wrist, the blood on her hands staining Bailey's skin.
"Don't go," Erin whispered. "Please don't. I'm gonna die but I don't want to die alone," Erin whispered.
"You are not going to die," Bailey said firmly, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I can not lose anybody else today. You are not going to die. I need to get you some blood," Bailey said.
"I'm scared, Bails. I'm really, really scared, and I don't want to be scared. Mer always said dying would be like falling asleep, but this isn't like that," Erin said, fresh tears making their way down her own pale cheeks.
Bailey squeezed Erin's hand over her wrist and stood up.
"I will be right back. Wait for me, okay? Time me," Bailey said, putting the mask back over Erin's mouth.
Erin watched her leave the room, hearing as she ran down the hallway towards the blood bank. Erin closed her eyes as her footsteps disappeared, chest rattling as she took another breath.
Erin was terrified that she would die before Bailey got back. She hadn't said everything she'd wanted to say to the people she loved and she hadn't had enough time. She'd never told Meredith how proud she was of who she'd became. She'd never told Derek that he was the first man who'd ever shown her love. She'd never told Cristina how grateful she was for being there for Meredith.
She'd never told Alex how much she cared about him, and she'd never told Arizona how she truly felt. She'd never told a lot of people a lot of things and, as Erin's chest burned with another breath, she knew she'd probably never get the chance to.
Bailey dropped beside Erin less than five minutes later, hooking up a rapid infuser to the bags of A+ blood. She hung them and the LR on an IV stand, then felt Erin's wrist for a pulse.
She was still alive.
"Erin, wake up. I'm back," Bailey said, shaking Erin's shoulder softly.
Erin's green eyes opened and Bailey winced at how dull they looked compared to how bright and mischievous they usually were. Bailey forced a smile onto her face, reaching to pull Erin's mask down.
"They're gonna come and find us soon, but you are going to be okay. You promise me, Erin Grey, that you are going to fight. You see that light, you better run. I've almost lost you once but I will not lose you again, you hear me?" Bailey said.
"I hear you," Erin rasped.
"I need to give you a chest tube, okay?" Bailey said.
Erin winced but nodded.
Bailey grabbed the equipment and sterilised the area as best as she could. She cut Erin's shirt at the side, cleaning her skin with betadine before steadying the scalpel in her gloved hand.
"It's gonna hurt but you'll be able to breathe better," she said.
Erin closed her eyes as Bailey cut into her side. She held her breath as she heard Bailey grab the tube and the clamp, knowing exactly what pain was coming.
She cried out as Bailey shoved the tube in her, but the pressure on her chest eased as the chest tube allowed the blood to leave her lungs.
Bailey grabbed Erin's phone out of the blood, wiping it as she turned it on. It was still working, so she called 911 again.
"911, what's your emergency?" the operator said.
"I'm Dr. Miranda Bailey and I'm with Dr. Erin Grey in the supply closet nearest to the blood bank on the OR floor of Seattle Grace hospital. She has two GSWs and has lost a lot of blood. We need someone to get us out of here," Bailey said quickly.
"We'll send SWAT in to find you as soon as possible. I'm sending the call to the officers on scene as we speak," the operator said.
Bailey ended the call and put Erin's phone on the shelf, grabbing her hands.
"You are going to be okay, you hear me?" she said.
"I know," Erin said, a small smile coming onto her face. "You know, I was thinking, there are so many things I haven't said and done. I haven't told Arizona that I'm in love with her, or that I don't even care if she doesn't want kids because I'm gonna die and I would have a life with no kids, as long as I get to have her. And I haven't told Mer that she's the reason I'm alive," Erin said, a small sob breaking free of her throat.
"She knows," Bailey shook her head, more tears coming down her cheeks. "They both do. We all know you love us. But you are not going to die so you don't need to say these things," Bailey said.
"I do," Erin said softly, "Love you, I mean. And I need to say it, 'cause we both know that, even if I get out of here and make it into surgery, it's gonna be touch and go. The second bullet is just below my heart. I'm not making it back out of surgery, so I have to say these things before it's too late," she said.
"You are not going to die. We're gonna get you out of here and Dr. Altman is gonna work her magic and save your life. You cannot die on us, you hear me? We need you. You have to stay alive so you can tell Meredith and Arizona how you feel," Bailey cried.
"Erin?!" a voice shouted from down the hallway.
Bailey stood up, looking out of the door. Her face dropped when she saw Meredith and Arizona, hand in hand as they followed the trail of blood that had led Bailey to find Erin.
"In here. SWATs coming for her. She's been shot twice," Bailey said, hurrying back into the closet.
They ran in and their faces dropped, a small sob breaking free of Arizona's chest as she saw Erin staring up at them from her position on the floor.
Arizona dropped to her knees, crawling over to Erin and grabbing her hands. She put the mask back over her face, moving Erin's legs so Meredith could sit beside her.
Meredith eased herself down beside her sister, taking Erin's right hand from Arizona. She put her hand on Erin's face, pulling Erin so she was resting against Meredith's chest.
"You're gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay," Meredith whispered.
"Derek?" Erin whispered, pulling her and Arizona's hands up to pull the mask down.
"He's out of surgery and into recovery. We're gonna get you into surgery and you're gonna be fine. Promise me, Bear, that you are not gonna die on me," Meredith begged.
"I'm scared," Erin cried. "I'm scared to die."
"You don't have to be scared," Arizona whispered, wiping the tears off her cheeks as she squeezed Erin's hand in hers. "Because we're here and we're gonna keep you alive, okay? You can't die on us. We have so much to do, right? Like get you a Harper Avery, and kids, and the big wedding you want with your love. We haven't got you to the best part of life yet. You have to hold on for that," Arizona pleaded.
"She's right. Please," Meredith cried.
Erin looked at Bailey, their eyes meeting. They were rimmed red with tears and Erin felt a painful jolt as she heaved her own sob.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gone on my own," she cried.
"It's okay. You were helping. I shouldn't have let you go alone," Meredith shook her head. They sat in silence for a few seconds before Erin felt a familiar thudding in her head.
She was going to pass out again, this time from the pain and stress on her body, even with the IV, chest tube and the blood she was being infused with.
"Mermaid?" Erin said weakly.
"Yeah, darling?" Meredith looked over at her, her eyes rimmed red.
"I was the one who ate all of your chocolate bars in eighth grade. I blamed Sadie but it was me. And I didn't break the fishbowl. She did. I took the blame because she bribed me with the chocolate bar story," Erin said.
"Erin, shut up," Meredith begged.
"We're gonna get the bullets out of you in a minute. Just stay awake, okay?" Arizona cried.
"You're a really good sister, Mer. Will you tell Lexie that I think she's a good sister, too?" Erin said.
"Erin, shut up. You're gonna be fine!" Meredith said desperately.
"I love you guys. All of you," Erin said. She looked at Arizona, bloodshot blue eyes already burning back at her. Arizona sniffed, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as she shook her head.
"Don't say it. Say it when you get out of surgery, okay? You can tell me then," Arizona said.
"I think we all know I'm not making it out of this closet," Erin whispered, looking down at her lap as her vision started going blurry. "I don't care that you don't want kids," she started.
Erin's eyes fluttered shut as another dull pain thudded through her chest.
"Erin?" Arizona said, cupping her cheeks and turning her head so she could see that Erin's eyes were closed. "Erin!" she said, putting the mask over her mouth to keep the oxygen moving through her body.
"Lie her down," Bailey said quickly. Meredith and Arizona laid Erin down on the floor, Bailey moving so she could feel for a pulse. "No pulse," she said.
Meredith stared numbly at her baby sister, feeling like a ghost as she watched Bailey and Arizona start moving around her.
"Starting compressions," Arizona said, putting her hands over Erin's heart and starting compressions.
Meredith saw red start staining Arizona's hands, stomach dropping. She reached out, pulling Erin's shirt up.
"She's bleeding through the packing," she whispered. "Oh my god, she's gonna die," Meredith whispered.
"Erin?" a loud voice yelled.
"Mer, it's the SWAT team. Go and bring them here," Arizona said urgently, moving the mask off of Erin's face so she could listen for breath sounds.
Meredith stumbled to her feet, running out of the closet and to the end of the hallway.
"Down here! She's got no pulse," Meredith sobbed.
The SWAT team raced towards Meredith, letting her lead them down the hallway towards the closet.
"You do not get to die on me," Arizona muttered as she continued compressions, feeling for a pulse again. "Not like this. Not ever. Stop being stupid and stop trying to die on me!" she cried.
"I found an epi," Bailey grabbed an epi off the shelf and pulled the cap off, injecting the needle into Erin's IV.
"Crash cart?" Arizona asked desperately.
Bailey stood up to look around, while Arizona continued compressions.
"Erin, you can not die on me. I never told you that you're my best friend, that I love you and I need you. I need you to stay alive so I can tell you, okay? And you have to stay alive and wake up so you can tell me what you need to tell me," Arizona cried.
"Here," Bailey said, handing Arizona the paddles and clamping the monitor around Erin's finger. Bailey pulled Erin's shirt up, leaving her chest exposed. "Charging to one hundred," she said, pressing the button on the machine.
"Clear," Arizona said, tears dropping onto Erin's face as she put the paddles on her chest.
Erin's body jerked and they watched the machine, sighing in relief when they saw a rhythm on the screen.
"She's in here," Meredith said, stepping aside for the SWAT team.
"She has a rhythm but it's touch and go. She needs to get into surgery right now or she is gonna die," Arizona said, getting to her feet as one of the SWAT men grabbed a gurney and pushed it in.
Two of them lifted Erin onto it, Bailey unclamping the monitor as she took the IV stand and pushed it out after the SWAT men.
Meredith and Arizona stared as they pushed Erin down the hallway, Bailey giving them instructions that they needed to get to Seattle Pres if that's where Teddy Altman and Owen Hunt were, because they were the ones that had to save Erin's life now.
"She can't die," Arizona's voice broke. Meredith grabbed her hand and pulled her after Erin.
"You have to tell her how you feel when she wakes up," she said, voice quiet but firm.
Arizona didn't reply.
Both of them knew that it was very unlikely that Erin would make it off the table, nevermind wake up if she did. Both of them also knew, however, that miracles could happen and, if anyone deserved one, it was Baby Grey.